SEC Preview: Texas A&M vs Auburn will be more fun than Alabama vs LSU
The great news is is that in Houston (where we live), there’s a big chance that LSU alums living in our fine city won’t have to watch the LSU vs Alabama game because of a battle between the local broadcasting distributor and major networks (Clue: They are both pieces of excrement).
The bad news for LSU fans is that unless there’s a Cat 5 hurricane we don’t know about, the game’s going to go on, and it ain’t gonna be close.
A game that. used to be one of the highlights on the SEC map is no more, and instead eyes are going to be glued onto the Texas A&M vs Auburn game as the No.5 Aggies roll onto The Plains with a lot at stake.
Elsewhere, the cupboard is still revoltingly bare, with No.6 Florida visiting piss-poor Tennessee, Missouri playing Arkansas for a made-up trophy, Vanderbilt going to Georgia and my goodness- how could we forget coachless South Carolina and not-very-good Kentucky?
But anyway, here’s our preview for the game, in terms of my interest. But honestly, it’s Texas A&M vs Auburn and the field.
- No.5 Texas A&M (-6 1/2 Over/Under 56 1/2) at Auburn
They want us to believe that crazy things happen on The Plains, when in actual fact, Auburn needed the refs to beat Arkansas, and they were completely and utterly blown out by Alabama last weekend. Meanwhile in Kyle Field, the Aggies prevailed 20-7 in a monsoon against a weak LSU side, which did nothing to impress anybody….unless you realised that it was played in a monsoon.
This week, there will be no monsoon, and Aggies are going to Auburn. Auburn will provide some good things from Bo Nix and his receivers, and some bad things from Bo Nix and his receivers. We don’t know if Tank Bigsby’s in tip-top shape to take on the Aggies very strong defense. On the other side of the ball, much will be expected of Kellen Mond after his poor performance (and yes, it was in a monsoon), but the player to watch for the Aggies on the offensive side of the ball will be RB Isaiah Spiller, who’s so much damned fun to watch.
PREDICTION: This will be fun. Texas A&M 31, Auburn 28.
2. No.6 Florida (-17 1/2 Over/Under 62 1/2) at Tennessee
Tennessee’s in freefall and Florida’s gone the opposite direction. Kyle Pitts is often declared the best player on the Florida team, but as we were thinking in the shower today, SOMEONE HAS GOT TO THROW HIM THE DANGED BALL. And that person is a very good Kyle Trask, who you may well see virtually in a Heisman battle near you sooner rather than later. Kadarious Toney is another one of Trask’s weapons. Tennessee, on the other hand, have a mediocre (we’re being polite) QB in Jarrett Guarantano, but the stable of RBs in Eric Gray and Ty Chandler, who have been lone bright spots in what has been a dreadful season. Still, we think 17.5 is a steal.
PREDICTION: Gators roll. Florida 45, Tennessee 20.
3. Arkansas at Missouri (-3, Over/Under 52)
Predicted by Vegas to be the SEC’s closest game, this match-up of new SEC coaches will be intriguing, mainly because the winner of this game could well be in line for SEC Coach of The Year. Arkansas wasn’t expected to win a game, and Missouri was expected to finish second-bottom of the SEC East. Both teams have beaten expectations by some mile. Arkansas has a great defense, mastered by former Missouri head coach Barry Odom, but they will depending a lot of QB Feliepe Franks, now the RB Rakeem Boyd has chosen to opt out for the rest of the season. For Eli Drinkwitz, Odom’s going to work out that they have a philosophy of “Larry Roundtree III left, Larry Roundtree III right”, and we’ll see more dependency on Connor Bazelak. Bazelak will be hoping that for a second successive week his wide receivers can catch the ball.
PREDICTION: Arkansas with the ‘upset’. Arkansas 28, Missouri 24.
4. Alabama (-29 1/2 Over/Under 64 1/2) at LSU
If you want to listen to Gary Danielson giving Nick Saban fellatio for 4 hours, this is your game.
PREDICTION: Alabama by 58, LSU 17.
5. South Carolina at Kentucky (-11, Over/Under 47 1/2)
Kentucky did very well at Florida for a half, and then fell off a map, while South Carolina’s just praying for the season to end. If you are watching the game, I suggest drinking a mixture of bourbon and absinthe, topped off with a cherry and some Coca-Cola.
PREDICTION: Kentucky 31, South Carolina 10.
Georgia vs Vanderbilt has been postponed.