Get your last dose of jam-packed college football Saturdays this weekend.

On your Thursday you can drift into Turkey hell with this year’s Egg Bowl (Ole Miss vs Mississippi State), go to Friday for the ‘Thank God the Season’s Over Bowl’ between Missouri and Arkansas, then refresh again for a Saturday with ‘Good Ole Fashioned Hate’ with Georgia vs Georgia Tech , The Commonwealth Cup (Louisville vs Kentucky) or one of the more underrated hate games in the South, the Clemson vs South Carolina game. Then move onto The Iron Bowl (which you can put on silent because Gary Danielson will be commentating on it), or 30 mins later Tennessee’s continuing story of redemption at Vanderbilt and then end up with LSU vs Texas A&M, which we all hope goes 7 OTs this year too. Oh, and then there’s the rivalry in the Sunshine State as Florida and Florida State get together, with one hoping for a 10-game season and one hoping simply not to suck.

Then, after 14 weeks of screaming crowds, great touchdowns, crappy refereeing and far too much Gary Danielson, the regular season will be over.

Some of the teams mentioned will want the season to be over. Others will want one more great last game. Two others will want their names in the hat for two possible great last games.

But the commonality: They both want to get one over on their rivals.

So here’s the preview of the games, in order of our excitement.

1. No.5 Alabama (-3.5) at No.15 Auburn: Even with Tua, Alabama still has an offense. Mac Jones can easily hit future NFL wide receivers Jerry Jeudy and Henry Ruggs III and RB Najee Harris isn’t too bad either. And the skillset of Jones is about equal to Bo Nix, who – quite frankly – sucks. The big match up is the defenses. Auburn has a better defense. Derrick Brown is awesome, and Auburn’s front is as good as any. But can they stop Alabama? If they won’t, then Auburn might collect the money to release Gus Malzahn from his contract. PREDICTION: No. Alabama wins by a touchdown, and it could be the end for Malzahn.
2. Texas A&M at No.1 LSU (-17): Texas A&M actually played solid defense against Georgia, and had the offense actually put something together until the fourth quarter, they could well have pulled off the upset (mind you, if Georgia had played any offense, they might have won by a lot more!!). Anyway, this game was fantastic last season, ending up with 7 OTs and a fight before it ended. I think many people are wanting the same. LSU fans might want to kick the Aggies’ ass all the way back to College Station, but we don’t see the Tigers walking away with it against a pretty stout defense. And even if it’s comfortable, 17 looks tough. PREDICTION: LSU wins by 14….Comfortably.
3. Florida State vs No.11 Florida (-17.5): Florida State has been playing better lately, but that’s putting a bit of foam on the forest fire, we feel. Florida has been purring lately, and they will be angsty to impress the voters bearing in mind they are behind Penn State in the battle for a New Year’s Day Bowl. PREDICTION: They will impress. Florida by 28.
4. No.4 Georgia (-28-1/2) vs Georgia Tech: Georgia’s offense isn’t great, but Georgia Tech’s rushing defense ranks 119th out of 130th in the country. Georgia – despite what they’ll say about the SEC Championship Game next week – also needs the big victory to move the Play-Off Committee’s eyes. PREDICTION: Georgia slices and dices the Yellow Jackets, winning by 31. 
5.  No.3 Clemson (-27) vs South Carolina: Last season Clemson was a huge favorite to smash South Carolina into pieces, but the Tigers got all they could handle from the Gamecocks….at least for one half. Everyone is loving the fact that the Tigers are like a buzzsaw at the moment, but we can’t help but think: Who have they played? The bottom line is this: We still don’t think Carolina catches up to their hated Southern rival. PREDICTION: Clemson by 21. South Carolina aren’t close in this, but they aren’t terrible.
6. Louisville vs Kentucky (-4): This could be the under-the-radar most entertaining of the SEC games this week, simply because Kentucky’s been on a good run lately, and Louisville’s not as bad as I thought they were originally – although their defense is hardly great. The atmosphere should be fantastic, and a lot of rum and whiskey will be consumed. PREDICTION: Louisville with the upset, winning by 3.
7. Arkansas vs Missouri (-12 1/2): This is how utterly crap Missouri has been in recent weeks: The Tigers are only 12-1/2 point favourites against a team that has one of the worst offenses in the league. If the Tigers lose, it will cap an horrific end to the season, capped by a bowl ban and pressure on Barry Odom. And if they lose, Odom should be fired. PREDICTION: Missouri wins by 14 as Arkansas fights to the end. 
8. Vanderbilt vs Tennessee (-21): At the start of the season Tennessee was the laughing stock of college football, losing to Georgia State and becoming the laughing stock of college football. Now, Tennessee is one of the form teams in the SEC, and Vanderbilt is worse that we’ve ever seen. PREDICTION:  Tennessee wins by 24. Vandy fans want to fire Derek Mason, but Vandy’s powers stick to their guns. 
9. Ole Miss (-1) vs Mississippi State: Vegas thinks this is going to be the one of the tightest games in the SEC this week, and it’s on Thanksgiving Night so we can move from dull Thanksgiving NFL football to a game where the two sites hate each other despite their record. PREDICTION: Mississippi State wins by 3 in an entertaining game.

OTHER BIG GAMES: 

1. Ohio State to beat Michigan by 7
2. Minnesota to beat Wisconsin by 3
3. Oregon to beat Oregon State by 28
4. Oklahoma by 3 over Oklahoma State.

A few days after he was announced as the head coach of Arizona State, I put a tweet out that basically said how much the hire sucked. I wasn’t the only one.

After last Saturday’s stunning win over Oregon, I might well have been wrong.

That got me thinking to hirings that have happened in the SEC…..and the bad ones. We’re not going anywhere near Arkansas’ interim coaching hire John L. Smith, because he inherited Bobby Petrino’s trainwreck (or motorcycle wreck) and then Brett Bielema arrived.

Every SEC school has had their crappy SEC hires. Some further back in time than others.

ALABAMA: Jennings B. Whitworth (1955-57): Although circumstances weren’t great for Whitworth (he came after Harold Drew’s 4-5-2 season, and subsequently was only allowed to hire two of his ‘own men’ and had to keep all the other assistants (not good for coaching morale), Whitworth embarked on sending the Tide to a legendary 14-game losing streak. Having said all that, all clouds had a silver lining: His firing paved the way for another coach to come in who smelt of whiskey, cigarettes and actual success: Bear Bryant.

ARKANSAS: Chad Morris (2017-2018): Came in on a six year, $21 million contract, Morris was meant to signal a new turnaround after the departure of Brett Bielema. Instead, he delivered a 2-10 record in his first year (0-8 in the SEC), and 2-8 (0-6 in the SEC) record in 2018, punctuated by losses to San Jose State and Western Kentucky. He lost his job after the WKU blowout. What a waste of money that was.

AUBURN: Earl Brown (1948-50): Brown’s stretch at Auburn was quite incredible. The team went 3-22-4 in his time on The Plains, which included getting outscored 258 to 31. That took some doing. His only saving grace? Beating Alabama 14-13 in the 1949 Iron Bowl, where his 1-4-3 team beat the 6-2-1 Crimson Tide – helped by a miss-kick from an Alabama kicker.

FLORIDA: Raymond Wolf (1946-9): Wolf’s hiring in Gainseville came after he served in World War II. It wasn’t pretty. He went 9-19-1 and somehow got another year’s contract after Florida students wanted to keep him around, but was promptly fired a year later after his 10th-placed finish for the second time in a row. The one bit of a joy was a 28-7 win over Georgia in The Cocktail Party.

GEORGIA: Johnny Griffith (1961-3): Griffith’s brilliant finishes in Athens went 9th-7th-9th, and predictably it wasn’t going to go down too well with Dawgs fans. The highlight of his career when he accused the man he replaced, Wally Butts, of consipiring with Bear Bryant to beat the Dawgs after he sent The Houndstoothed One plays, formations and other stuff he might need to win out. He was promptly sued. And lost.

KENTUCKY: Bill Curry (1990-6): Coming off a fairly successful stint at Alabama, where he won a SEC title and reached a bowl in all of time in Tuscaloosa, Curry – after turning down a contract offer from Alabama – came down to Kentucky with quite a bit of fanfare. There, the trumpeteers ran out of breath, as the Wildcats had one winning season under him, and under his tenure were an awful 26-52 including an SEC record of 14-40. The 38-14 loss in the Governor’s Cup to Louisville was perhaps the last straw for the powers-that-be in Lexington.

LSU: Curley Hallman (1991-94): Hallman never had a winning record or reached a bowl in his time at LSU, which lasted four long seasons (somehow). His best-known game came in 1994 when the Tigers were comfortably beating Auburn until Jamie Howard threw SIX interceptions, which took quite some doing. He was told he would resign or be fired. He refused to resign. And was fired.

MISSISSIPPI STATE: Rocky Felker (1986-90): It’s not easy taking over a school that’s not exactly guilded in great SEC history, but Felker’s job was wonderfully feckless. After a perfectly acceptable 7-5 season in 1986, Felker then won three SEC games in three years during his time, adding to the grand total of two in 1986. His 1988 1-10 season was a particular low point – the second-worst in Cowbell history. He never held a head coaching position again, although he did come back and was a successful OC – and still works in MSU’s football operations department.

MISSOURI: (WARNING, INCLUDES BIG 8/12 COACH TOO) Bob Stull (1989-93): Stull was terrible in his time at Missouri, posting up a 15-38-2 record with a shiny Big 8 record of 8-27. One of Stull’s famous moments, though, was being the head of ‘Fifth Down Game’ against Colorado, when the Buffaloes inexplicably got an extra down, leading to a touchdown that was one of college football’s iconic moments (for refereeing screw-ups). We also considered Woody Wiedenhofer (1985-1988), but we’ve given him to Vanderbilt.

OLE MISS: Ed Orgeron (2005-7): As much as he is loved by LSU fans, let’s not forget the reason why he didn’t get head coaching jobs at Tennessee and USC (although his players loved him) – his time at Ole Miss was atrocious. In his three years in Oxford he went 10-25 and 3-21 in the SEC, including a terrible 0-8 season in 2007, where the final straw was losing to Mississippi State. The biggest highlight that I can remember from his time there was his excellent cameo in The Blind Side.

SOUTH CAROLINA: Brad Scott (1994-98): His tenure is still remembered by Gamecocks fans as ‘the dark days’ – and for good reasons. Although he managed two winning seasons and two seasons of .500 Eastern Conference play, he also masterminded a season in 1998 where the Gamecocks lost 10 games in a row, with his final send-off a 28-19 loss at hated rival Clemson.

TENNESSEE: Derek Dooley (2010-2012): As much as the Big Orange fanbase hated Butch Jones, Dooley was the worst coach in Volunteers history by some margin, posting zero winning seasons and a 4-19 in-conference record. This included winning one SEC game in two years. Weirdly, he’ll be looking at getting his pink slip again this year as Missouri’s offensive coordinator.

TEXAS A&M: Jim Myers (1958-61): While there might be an argument between Myers and Hank Foldberg (someone tweeted us to say his grandfather loathed playing for him) as to who the worst A&M coach was in its history, we’re going for Myers because of his incredible Southwest Conference losing record where he went 5-18-3 with two straight winless SWC seasons in 1959 and 1960 and losing to Texas every time during his tenure. Still, he found a job after A&M, becoming the Dallas Cowboys offensive coordinator/assistant head coach under Tom Landry for 26 years….so you could say that being at Kyle Field taught him a lesson or two. There were Texas A&M fans who lobbied for Dennis Franchione to get on the list, but mainly because of the 77-0 drubbing by Oklahoma in the first year of his tenure. But Franchione turned it around beating Texas in the final two years of his tenure. But combined with the fact he never won a bowl game with the Aggies, he was pushed out. 

VANDERBILT: Woody Widenhofer (1997-2001): After compiling a dreadful record with Missouri where he went 12-31-1 and 8-20 in Big 8 play, I’m sure that journalists around wouldn’t have understood why in the hell the Commodores went and hired Widenhofer, who was originally the team’s defensive coordinator in Ron Dowhower’s 2-9 team. Anyway, The Hoff only won 4 games during his time in the SEC and compiled a total record of 15-40. Stunningly enough, he never coached again.

LSU’s band’s commitment to asking Alabama fans to commit beastiality on Mike The Tiger was evident on Saturday night, after the Tigers finally beat Alabama 46-41 in Tuscaloosa.

It was a fantastic game. LSU plundered points from Alabama miscues, flying out to a 33-13 lead at half-time, before deciding to play conservatively, helping the Tide to roar back within 6. Then Joe Brady took the microphone back over, the spread offense which has entertained us all season long came back into action, and Clyde Edwards-Helaire’s touchdown in the final breaths of the game virtually confirmed victory. And to make matters better, Justin Jefferson, brother of one of the most hated LSU quarterbacks in history (Jordan), caught the onside kick that sealed the victory.

LSU fans will insist to you that it “wasn’t close”, and that’s a lie. It was close. But had LSU gone Big 12-style for four quarters, Alabama would have been blown out of the water.

And the game would have gone on for 5 hours.

Anyway, here are our rankings – this time in how they would play or have played against a truly awful team in Missouri:

1. LSU (9-0): Need we say more. Would flatten Missouri.
2. Alabama (8-1): The offense is a lot of fun to watch, while the young defense is excruciating for everyone who’s an Alabama fan….and no-one who isn’t. Hasn’t played Missouri, but would kill them.
3. Georgia (8-1): The Bulldogs trundled to a comfortable victory over Missouri. Helped by the fact that they’ve got an awesome defense, Kelly Bryant wasn’t playing and the usual inept offensive playcalling from Missouri, Georgia coasted. The only reason why they are No.3 here is that their loss to South Carolina is looking worse and worse. And worse.
4. Florida (8-2): Smashed Vanderbilt. Then again, anyone not called Missouri has smashed Vanderbilt this season. Florida will play Missouri on Saturday. Chalk up another ‘W’.
5. Auburn (7-2): Beat Bye Week, which lessened the heat under Gus Malzahn’s ass. Now the heat will return in a defensive war against Georgia on Saturday. We think that even with their putrid offense they could score a hatful against Missouri. And concede nothing.
6. Texas A&M (6-3): STILL THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL, YO. Some people on Twitter took to making fun of Texas’ celebrations of beating a ranked opponent on Saturday. Until it was pointed out that the last ranked opponent that Texas A&M beat was last season. Still, Texas A&M could beat Missouri comfortably, even if Missouri isn’t ranked. Which they aren’t. Because they suck.
7. Tennessee (5-5): The Vols are exploding. There’s no way to put it. The goal-line stand against Kentucky was something special. Jarrett Guarantano is looking semi-OK as a quarterback. They could finish the season 7-5 with wins over Missouri and Vanderbilt (Hint: Both will happen).
8. Kentucky (4-5): The Wildcats were poor against Tennessee, and blew a 13-0 lead to lose 17-13. We don’t know if it’s the chat about Mark Stoops going to Florida State or something else, but something’s not right with Big Blue. But they beat the pants off Missouri this season.
9. Ole Miss (4-6): The Rebels aren’t particularly great, but their win over New Mexico State at least put some smiles on faces in Oxford. They lost earlier to Missouri this season, but right now, we’d make them a touchd0wn favorite.
10. Mississippi State (4-6): The Egg Bowl is going to be disgustingly putrid this year. The Bulldogs still have a chance to go bowling if they win two out of three of their next games. Sadly for them, one of those teams on the schedule isn’t Missouri.
11. South Carolina (4-6): HOW IN SWEET GOD’S NAME DID THIS TEAM BEAT GEORGIA? The Gamecocks were utterly inept against Appalachian State. Bryan Edwards gave the Gamecocks a prayer at the end of the game, but this crapshow of a performance has made the grumbling start about Will Muschamp. And deservedly so. Oh, and this team lost to Missouri this season. So they suck.
12. Vanderbilt (2-7): How do you move up a spot when you’ve just been shellacked on the road by Florida? Because you shellacked Missouri. Will Derek Mason keep his job? His players might run through the wall for him, but the board of trustees might not.
13. Missouri (5-4): Here’s the weird thing: If Missouri win two out of the next three games (and the last two are against Tennessee and Arkansas), they will finish an almost-respectable 7-5. But the offense is wrong, and frankly, Barry Odom and Derek Dooley have to go. This team is also incredible at beating itself.
14. Arkansas (2-8): The Razorbacks just ***-canned Chad Morris. Which is good for fans in Fayetteville, because he was terrible. There is so much wrong with the program that it’s maddening and saddening. Just remember: They fired Brett Bielema because he wasn’t ‘doing the job’ for the team. As Jenn Bielema would say, karma. Oh, and they play Missouri at the end of the season which could see their first SEC win since October 28th, 2017.

Today was a fun yet weird week for the SEC. The weird stuff happened at Sanford Stadium in Athens, Georgia, where the  No.3 Dawgs lost in double-overtime to a South Carolina side that was a 23-point underdog, but had also lost to Alabama, Missouri and, er, North Carolina.

In Baton Rouge, LSU beat Florida 42-28 in an awesome game in the Bayou, with the Bayou Bengals surviving mostly by superior firepower on a night that featured parachutists coming down from heaven, a raucous crowd, College Gameday, and a lack of Gary Danielson.

And on the other end of the spectrum, an awful UNLV team ran away from a terrible Vanderbilt side, Tennessee got its first SEC win of the season over freefalling Mississippi State and Kentucky beat Arkansas,

Elsewhere, Alabama cruised by Texas A&M, Missouri pretty comfortably beat Ole Miss in a comfortable one.

Anyway, so here are our SEC rankings:

1. LSU (6-0): Joe Burrow is quickly becoming involved in the Heisman conversation. They beat Florida on Saturday night in a shoot-out. We know that their defense isn’t great, but their offense just keeps on coming. It should be interesting to see if passing game coordinator/wide receivers coach Joe Brady is around next year. Because of his miracles with the LSU offense this year, we suspect he’ll either get his first head coaching job or he’ll get an offensive coordinator’s job at a bigger school. He won’t be short of offers.
2. Alabama (6-0): The Alabama wide receivers are so damned quick. Tua is so damned good. Najee Harris is an unstoppabe running back. The Tide on the offense are awesome. Can LSU stop them? We will see. But right now, they are second on strength of schedule alone.
3. Florida (6-1): We said that this was a very good Gators side when they beat Auburn, and nothing has changed here. But defensive injuries meant that the Gators struggled late. Still, Dan Mullen’s team could well see Alabama or LSU in Atlanta again at the SEC Championship Game. They are that good.
4. Auburn (5-1): Idle, and watching carnage around it actually helped the Tigers. And got them healthier.
5. Missouri (5-1): Kelly Bryant has got this offense buzzing, but Cale Garrett’s injury at linebacker could take the Tigers back a few notches when they face the big boys in Florida and Georgia.
6. South Carolina (3-3): The merry-go-round that is the SEC East (Missouri beats Georgia who beats South Carolina) doesn’t mean South Carolina’s a better side than Georgia, but it happened.
7. Georgia (5-1): “I always thought they were overrated anyway” said a friend of mine – a student at Georgia – after witnessing the horror show on Saturday afternoon. For me, this has blown Georgia’s chances of getting into the play-off. Because even if the Bulldogs DO get to the SEC Championship Game, the Committee will ask the question: “Yeah, but who did they lose to?” The Bulldogs will go up the rankings again soon, but right now, they are a middle-of-the-road SEC side.
8. Texas A&M (3-3): Texas A&M lost to all the teams we thought they’d lose to, and struggled with Arkansas. This Aggies team aren’t that great.
9. Ole Miss (3-4): If Ole Miss could gel two quarterbacks into one (Corral’s arm and Plumlee’s legs), they would be golden. But right now, Ole Miss is mediocre.
10. Kentucky (3-3): We don’t know what to think of the Wildcats, but they beat Arkansas after sliding a little. They aren’t great, but they have taken a massive step back from last year. Their new QB Lynn Bowden is pretty useful, though.
11. Tennessee (2-4): The Volunteers’ victory breathed hope into the country’s laughing stock, and there is once again hope around Neyland. Who would it have happened after they went toe-to-toe for one half with Georgia.
12. Arkansas (2-4): The Razorbacks are playing with a bit of fire suddenly. Sure, the defense struggled against a Kentucky freshman QB today, giving up a 13-0 lead before losing 24-20. Right now, November 11th looms large…a match-up with Mississippi State that they should be favored in.
13. Mississippi State (2-4): We know that they beat Kentucky a couple of weeks ago, but this program is in such freefall that if you put these two together again, we’d be betting Kentucky all the way.
14. Vanderbilt (1-5): If Vanderbilt’s AD was a least bit clever, they should fire Derek Mason now and get a jump on a search for a head coach. He’s a great guy, but there’s nothing else to say. He’s got to go.

It’s Week 7 in the SEC, and things are suddenly getting interesting.

On Saturday night we’ve got the battle of the unbeatens as Florida travels to LSU. College Gameday will be there. It’s a night game in Death Valley, and thank God, Gary Danielson will not be there. Earlier, Alabama will go to Kyle Field to play Texas A&M on the CBS 3.30 game, and Georgia hosts South Carolina to start the day. Otherwise, it’s Mississippi State going to Tennessee (12pm), the battle of the NCAA-sanctioned as Ole Miss travels to Missouri, and a game that no-one should subject anyone to watch as Arkansas travels to Kentucky. Oh, and UNLV travels to Vanderbilt.

To say the least, it’s cardiac Saturday in the SEC. On both ends of the spectrum.

Anyway, once again we’re going with the order of interesting. And good. But mostly interesting.

1. No.7 Florida at No.5 LSU (-13.5): Death Valley is going be LOUD. Give Cajuns 12 hours to consume grain alcohol, and it’s going to create quite the atmosphere. Throw in a rivalry game where both sides don’t like each other (they’ve played each other every year since 1971) in the least, and the fact that the last seven games have been decided by 8 points or less. Oh, and Florida fans are still mad at LSU’s band playing during Tom Petty’s ‘I won’t back down’. No doubt that the LSU fanbase will be asking Florida’s fanbase to do something bestial to Mike The Tiger which is both dangerous and weird. There’s also the fact that both teams are unbeaten, with Florida’s defense actually playing better than LSU’s, but LSU’s offense is apparently the 5th wonder of the world (according to the press), with everyone getting orgasmic over Joe Burrow. LSU will be spreading Florida out all day, but Florida have great defensive playmakers to combat LSU. We can’t believe the spread’s as high as 13-1/2 in the favour of LSU. Prediction: LSU squeaks by 6 in a classic. 
2. No.2 Alabama (-17) at No.24 Texas A&M: No. 3 on Texas A&M’s horror show of a schedule will be at Kyle Field, as Nick Saban trots into town to face off against Jimbo Fisher, who’s having a distinctly ordinary year. The chaps at Solid Verbal pointed out that Alabama’s rush defense isn’t special, but then again, nor’s Texas A&M’s rush attack. The secondary will find Kellen Mond easy to deal with. This could get ugly early — and we’re not just talking about the poor audience who have to listen to Gary Danielson. Prediction: Alabama by 31.
3. Mississippi State (-7) at Tennessee: If you like pure, unbridled trainwreckery on both sides of the ball (if you like good offense watch Texas vs Oklahoma or if you like a good slaughter watch Georgia vs South Carolina), then THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU. I can’t think of where both teams have been good this year, but that’s what might make it interesting. For a half against Georgia, Tennessee believed in itself when QB Brian Maurer came out. He’ll face a somewhat easier defense in Mississippi State, who are struggling with so much loss on the defensive side of the ball, and aren’t great offensively either. This could be fun mayhem. Prediction: Oh screw it. Tennessee by 3. Maybe 13-10.
4. Ole Miss vs Missouri (-12): There’s a lighter air in Columbia right now, as the NCAA have told Missouri that the result of their appeal against sanctions will come to light in the next two weeks. Since their awful showing against Wyoming, Missouri has done exactly what’s been required of them. Eyes will be on Kelly Bryant and whether he’s going to be massively affected by his knee brace, but LB Cale Garrett is done for the season after getting injured against Nevada. Ole Miss showed some teeth against Alabama in the first and final quarters of that game, but we honestly don’t know what to think about the Rebels. Prediction: Missouri wins by 10.
5. South Carolina at No.3 Georgia (-23 1/2): This is going to be easy going for the Bulldogs against a very, very ordinary South Carolina team. Even if they aren’t having the best of it in the first half, Georgia can adjust so well that they can blow sides away. This will be one of the sides they blow away. Prediction: Georgia by 31
6. Arkansas vs Kentucky (-6 1/2): This is going to be one of the most odious games of the season. Prediction: Arkansas by 7 in an utter trainwreck of a game.
7. UNLV vs Vanderbilt (-15): Here’s why this is more interesting that Arkansas vs Kentucky. UNLV is 1-4 and hasn’t scored more than 23 all season, and the LOWEST the defense has given up is 30. On Vanderbilt’s side, they are 1-4 and their only victory has been against Northern Illinois. The reason why we like it is simple gambling. UNLV gives up 5.28 rush yards per game, and Vanderbilt’s not exactly awful. So here’s our prediction: Ke’Shawn Vaughn puts up 150, and Vanderbilt wins by 21. 

OTHER GAMES PREDICTIONS:

Oklahoma by 18 over Texas

Notre Dame by 21 over USC.

Right, so we’ve been plunged into the deep end by Week 6 of the college football season.

In the AP’s rankings, Alabama is No.1, followed by Clemson, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU and Oklahoma. Florida, Wisconsin, Notre Dame and Penn State fill out your Top 10. Auburn (12th) and Texas A&M (24th) are the other SEC teams on the list.

So here are our power rankings for the SEC. This is less about ‘how they look’ and more about ‘who they’ve beaten’.

1. Florida (6-0): Beat Auburn in a monstrously noisy atmosphere in The Swamp. It was like being back in Spurrier’s time again. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty (they turned the ball over 4 times), but the Gators’ defense is amazing. The LSU game in Baton Rouge – with College Gameday there – will be fascinating.
2. Georgia (5-0): The Bulldogs weren’t great against Tennessee in the first half, but then they steamrolled the Volunteers.
3. LSU (5-0): Cruised against Utah State and the defense turned up for the first time this season. Joe Burrow continues to fascinate. Their win against Texas puts them above Alabama, but Georgia’s win over Notre Dame looks better.
4. Alabama (5-o): Alabama being idle vaulted them above Auburn for one reason: The Crimson Tide would have done a lot better after grabbing FOUR turnovers against Florida than Auburn did.
5. Auburn (5-1): Bo Nix isn’t brilliant. Auburn’s defense is. Auburn actually needs to beat one of LSU, Georgia or Alabama to ensure Gus Malzahn’s in a job come next season. After an inept offensive performance in The Swamp, the daggers are already unsheathed again.
6. Missouri (4-1): The Tigers dispatched Troy, but the defense – after the dreadful Wyoming loss – actually looks great, and the offense looks better with Kelly Bryant. We’ll see if Bryant’s knee is better this week, and LB Cale Garrett’s pectoral injury will hurt, but the Tigers are still deep at linebacker.
7. Texas A&M (3-2): The Aggies’ two losses have been to Clemson and Auburn and they’ve looked poor. And they looked low on confidence against Arkansas. The Aggie tribe are getting restless. But they have to calm down: They’ve got one of nastiest schedules in the country. And they aren’t terrible.
8. Ole Miss (3-3): The offense is fun, and the defense isn’t completely horrible.
9. Mississippi State (3-2): Garrett Schrader or Tommy Stevens aren’t looking great options for Joe Moorhead. I’m not loving either one. This could well be the second-worst team in the SEC West.
10. South Carolina (2-3): I’m not wildly convinced about the Gamecocks, but they’ve suffered from the season-ending injury to Jake Bentley. Their 24-7 win over Kentucky showed that they are a middling SEC team who’s probably going to a bad, boring New Year’s Day Florida Bowl.
11. Arkansas (2-3): We know that the ‘Backs haven’t gotten a win in the SEC in 13 games, but the performance against Texas A&M could be a real boost for the program. They go on the road to Kentucky on Saturday, where it will be a true trainscrash of SEC mediocrity.
12. Tennessee (1-4): The Volunteers blew two games against Georgia State and BYU that would have made things seem a little nicer for Jeremy Pruitt. The first half against Georgia was actually pretty good, but then Georgia made the adjustments and laid waste to the Vols. On the bright side, true freshman QB Brian Maurer gave the offense a bit of oomph. There is some hope for the Vols (they still have to play Kentucky and Vanderbilt) to get a win or two in the SEC East.
13. Kentucky (2-3): The offense is awful (41 points in-conference this year), and the defense is worse. And still, they should have beaten Florida. The marginal Gators loss is suddenly looking their best SEC result so far after bludgeonings by Mississippi State and a not-very-good South Carolina side.
14. Vanderbilt (1-4): Fire. Derek. Mason. Now.

Sorry for the radio silence.

We weren’t renaming ourselves.

Or firing people – because there’s one of us, and that’s me.

It’s because I requested a transfer.

Put myself in the transfer portal.

And the wife and I have moved to the hot cooker of football – Texas.

We’re in Houston, where the oil money flows like the water in the Bayou and the mosquitos are manic.

It’s great because I can watch SEC games in the same time-zone, not sit there watching until 5am every morning like I have one in the UK.

Our only problem has been the internet. AT&T sucks.

But thanks to the next-door neighbors, we’re back.

For half a season.

But half a season’s better than no season at all.

And let’s be honest: Apart from LSU’s trip to Texas, Auburn vs Florida and (maybe) Auburn vs Texas A&M, we haven’t had the big-time SEC games yet.

Of course there have been evolutions. LSU’s suddenly playing a spread offense. Gus Malzahn’s job security actually looked OK for a week, while Derek Mason looks like he’s got one foot out of the door. And people are starting to talk about ‘that’ Missouri’s defense.

The same things remain. Alabama and Georgia remain the teams to beat. Nick Saban is still yelling at the press. Players are still getting booted off teams. No-one likes the NCAA.

So we’re back, SEC. And we’re happy.

It’s nighttime in Death Valley. The War Eagle Flies. We’re running through the T. We’re chomping. We’re asking how ‘bout them Dawgs. We’re clanging, pig sooein’, rammer jammerin’, Ole miss by damn’. We’re a 12^th Man, the ZOU in MIZ, a Commodore, and a Wildcat. There’s even 2001 or maybe a Sandstorm.

Our churches aren’t small. They are megachurches, holding a screaming congregation that will bury you with noise. They’ve even been allowed some in-game communion wine to add to their palates during services now. It should make Saturday church a little louder. When they win with a God-given upset, they jump over railings, get stuck in hedges, surf goalposts through crowded streets and toilet paper trees. When they lose, they look like their world has been torn apart. The pretty sorority girls and young frats with their bow ties look miserable. The painted clowns look clownish and stunned. All of them use words to the heavens that they wouldn’t take with grandma to church.

But in our churches, it’s important to know our pastors. There are 14 of them. If they bring home The Ultimate Prize, then the size of the statue won’t do the achievement justice. Of course, the pastor must obey the main commandment of SEC football: Thou Shalt Not Lose. Particularly if it’s the cardinal sin of losing Eggs, third Saturdays, big games or Cocktail Parties – or losing too many SEC games. If they do, hotter seats than hell will appear and behinds will sit on them. Pastor Gus of Auburn has sought redemption a couple of time from being excommunicated. But this year’s another year. It doesn’t matter if you’re likeable. If you don’t help the congregation reach the higher plain, you’re out. Some elders will give a new pastor two or three years to work their magic, but after that, notice will be hammered on the door like Martin Luther did with his articles.

To make a pastor successful to his congregations, he must be able to bring in the moving parts from smaller, younger churches every season. Churches aren’t expected to fizzle out. We at the SEC don’t mind paying for talent, as long as we don’t get caught. Much. And after their success in college, they go to Big Church Sundays. We implore Mr Goodell, high elder of the professional league, to skip the preliminaries and just call your professional conference the SEC-FL? After all, our boosters probably pay more than some of your teams do. This year, Tua will again make the tongues waggle, although we’re also excited by Bryant, Swift, Fromm, Delphit, Jeudy, Mond, Williams, Stingley and a guy based in the Mid-West known only as ‘Albert O’. But there will be many more names by season-end. Because this is the SEC.

The pastors and the congregrations know who the biggest church in our movement are. At the moment, they are in Tuscaloosa and Athens. They are going to be pretty good in the Year of Our Lord 2019, we hear. They’ve got the West and East divisions running scared and their schedules measure up sweetly. It’s hard to see who is going to beat them. Hell, it’s hard to see who’s going to give them a good fight. We expect more drama at the SEC Championship Game. And no trick plays please, Kirby. The likes of LSU, Auburn and Florida will feel like ‘also-rans’, even if that’s not the case. There’s always room for the upset. See the last time Georgia rolled into Death Valley. Take a moment in thinking about the orders of service for 14 teams for the Pastor Jimbo’s congregation in College Station. It’s downright evil.

But there will be competition for the Ultimate Prize this year from other denominations. The congregation in Clemson in the Atlantic Denomination is pretty good. As are Sooners from Oklahoma in the Southwest. There are the people of ‘The’ and ‘Big Blue’ in icier Big 11, and we’re heard that there might even be a good team in the NorthWest who are known as Huskies or Ducks in the driven down out West. But against us, can they really hold their own? If there’s two teams that will compete with us for the Ultimate Prize, we’ll go for the ‘Eyes and the Tigers. The rest will falter and fall.

Beyond the transfers, the head coaches, the stadium reductions and the backhanders to recruits, the NCAA can change something else that would really take the sport a step forward: The schedules.

The ACC and SEC play 8 in-conference games and 4 non-conference games, while the Big Ten, Pac-12 and Big XII all play nine.

Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban both expressed a preference for nine games. In fact, Nick Saban has been lobbying for it since 2012, while Gus Malzahn last year admitted he’s had a Damascus experience on scheduling (probably because Auburn’s is so arduous year after year): “Nine I think is best for us moving forward to make the schedules more equal across the conference.”

Kirby Smart of Georgia – also one of the SEC’s most powerful coaches – joined the ‘pro’ shout. He said: “I think it [would be] a good thing, but I think you will have teams with more losses. Does it affect a team getting in the playoff? I don’t know, but I know you have a lot more games to get up for, a lot more good rivalry games. It’s not just about travelling, it’s just as much about the atmosphere of playing an SEC opponent, I think you are playing more comparable teams to your talent level, I think it’s important for college football.”

Other coaches haven’t expressed an opinion – possibly because half of them lost their jobs after the 2017 season, and the new ones have yet to have a voice. The only time that voters voted to keep the schedule as-is was 2013. Will Muschamp, while he was at Florida, said that it was likely to move to nine games in 2013, but never happened.

The ACC has done the same. While this isn’t a huge surprise bearing in mind the ACC and SEC are two of the biggest superpower conferences in college football right now (although the ACC Network is still going to be minor compared to the SEC Network and the Big Ten Network (that may well turn around during basketball season), it has to change.

For the fans! 

Why? Because not only are Big Ten, Big XII and Pac-12 looking at tougher, in-conference schedules which have in the end worked out nicely for the ACC and SEC, which have captured the last four National Championships. Both Clemson and Alabama in the last four days have lost less than five games. Combined.

Also in the SEC, the way that the rivalries work is rather stupid. What could be more dislikeable than putting together one permanent rival and one division rival?

It means that the likes of Alabama and Georgia hardly play each other in the regular season, and teams like Auburn get royally screwed because they have to play Georgia – and Alabama – every season.

We get that SEC fans like their rivalries. We love them too. If it was a nine-game format, the Iron Bowl will still exist. So will the Egg Bowl, the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and LSU vs Alabama. We can still have the major cross-divisional rivalries like the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry (Auburn vs Georgia) and the Third Saturday in October, but we can also have one more cross-divisional games, which means the fans (probably quite important) get to see more East vs West games (which may reverse the trend of declining attendances, too), which will also be good for the ones that pay the bills – the SEC Network, CBS or ESPN.

Why should the SEC and ACC changing their schedules change college football in general? Easy. It shuts up the argument altogether. It makes for equality between FBS Conferences, shutting up the whole “we play more in-conference games than you”, because the other one (“We play in a more difficult conference than you”) becomes null and void. Not only that, it’s an easier job for the College Football Play-Off Committee to work out who’s should be ‘in’ with a flat schedule, and also, it pretty much shuts-up massive controversy.

What about the NCAA?

The NCAA will argue that ‘scheduling is not our business’, but that’s absolute crap. If the NCAA is happy to govern everything else, then why not govern one of the key aspects of the game? Not only that, but why are the conferences letting coaches or Athletic Directors – who all have biases on this subject but may well be fired before the next vote comes out (the SEC last voted on it in 2013 and ACC ADs voted on it in 2016) – vote on this altogether. The NCAA should mandate this and that would be that.

The ones that will suffer, inevitably, will be the smaller non-FBS schools, which rely on coming to a stadium and getting the living crap beaten out of them for $1 million (there are quite a few exceptions.

But unfortunately, college football is not a charity. Smaller FCS schools will still make their money. But unless there will be less of them. Will this lead to a shutdown of smaller programs? Sadly, probably. But will it be better for college football as a whole we see more and more in-conference rivalries? Definitely.

I love the bowl time of year. I get to ignore politics for a few hours and sit and balance a beer on my belly and watch college football.

This is a beautiful time to be a SEC fan. We get to generally see a National Champion, and we get to celebrate by haunting others with our war cry: “SEC! SEC! SEC!”.

I was going to go for a long, weaving preview of every bowl, but I realised that this (might) suffice.

So here we go – Why EVERY SEC will win its bowl game.

1. Why Vanderbilt (-4)will beat Baylor: Vanderbilt can stop someone, Baylor can’t. Vanderbilt’s got one of the most underrated running backs in college football in Ke’Shawn Vaughn, who ran for over 1,000 yards in the regular season. Vandy QB Kyle Shurmur’s better than what Baylor will offer, too.
2. Why Auburn (-3.5) will beat Purdue: Because Jarrett Stidham NEEDS a good bowl game to lift his NFL Draft status, and Gus Malzahn needs a good bowl game to get some ju-ju off his back. And also, Purdue really isn’t that good.
3.  Why Florida will beat Michigan (-6): Florida will bring back all of its talent from 2018 for this one, while Michigan is going to have some heavy losses. Michigan winning by almost a touchdown? Are you kidding me? Chomp, Chomp, Harbaugh.
4. Why South Carolina (-5.5) will beat Virginia: Virginia isn’t very good. Despite Deebo Samuel electing to forgo this game so that he can concentrate on the draft, South Carolina will be just fine without him. Jake Bentley will pick apart Virgnia’s secondary with his bevvy of tight ends (Kiel Pollard, Jacob August, Kyle Markway and KC Crosby).
5. Why Missouri (-9) will beat Oklahoma State: Missouri’s en fuego after getting Kelly Bryant to sign for next year, and Drew Lock’s coming back for his swansong. Oklahoma State’s going to miss its best RB (Justice Hill) because he’s declared early. This will be fun, but Missouri will win. Double digits. Mark it down.
6. Why Texas A&M (-7) will beat NC State: Because Texas A&M’s a good team, and NC State’s ‘D’ is porous at best. Kellen Mond will have a field day.
7. Why Mississippi State (-7) will beat Iowa: Iowa’s offensive line won’t be able to stop Mississippi State. 96-tackle anchor Jeffrey Simmons has said he is GOING to play before he leaves for a bright future in the NFL. Good luck, Hawkeyes.
8. Why LSU (-7.5) will beat UCF: Because UCF’s QB Mackenzie Milton isn’t playing. LSU will grind UCF into the ground using their bevvy of running backs. This will get ugly.
9. Why Kentucky will beat Penn State (6.5): Because even if Penn State stops Benny Snell, Josh Allen’s going to kill Trace McSorley on the other side of the ball.
10. Why Georgia (-13) will beat Texas: Texas hasn’t got a great defense, and Georgia will run straight through them. It might be exciting early with Texas’ big wide receivers, but Sam Ehrlinger’s moxiness will get crushed by UGA’s defense.
11. Why Alabama (-14) will beat Oklahoma: Because Oklahoma couldn’t stop a damned thing all season, and it ain’t about to start now.