The ‘Geaux Tigers’ and ‘Perfect’ newspaper front pages have long been picked up from Bourbon Street. The smell of vomit and stale alcohol still remains, but that’ll be covered up when another big party comes along this weekend. The ladies of the night are all driving Escalades now after the joyful celebrations of the Cajun many, and somewhere a story will emerge that a liver-affected Louisianan did try and hatch out of a plan to, er, visit one of Louisiana’s best-known striped friends to cap off one of the best season’s college football has ever seen.

It seemed funny that the headline-stealer for the offseason was not the person who (probably) tried to play Dr Dolittle with Mike, but Odell Beckham Jr, who behaved on a whole other planet of weird after the National Championship Game.

One of Death Valley’s favorite sons, OBJ was badly underused by Les Miles. He came away with 2,340 yards and 12 touchdowns in his three-year career in the Bayou, and deserved a hell of a lot more. The same could be said for his teammate, Jarvis Landry. Both are playing with decidedly overrated QB Baker Mayfield. OBJ seems to be trying to work out ways of getting out of Cleveland or at least, pissing off the fanbase. He did that on Monday by yelling about how it was happy that LSU won, and not Ohio State.

But that wasn’t even half of it. Not satisified with giving LSU players Beats headphones before the Play-Off semi-final win against Oklahoma, and presumably after consuming PCP and rocket fuel during the game, Beckham – who was also videoed taking the team band’s microphone and yelling stuff on there – rocketed out from the sidelines and started aggressively putting dollar bills into players hands.  There was a claim that it wasn’t actually real money, but it was none other than Joe Burrow who put his teammates under the bus. ““I’m not a student-athlete anymore, so I can say yeah,” he told Barstool Sports. LSU has immediately said it was working with the NCAA to rectify the situation, and probably to make the handing out of cash gifts to players more subtle next time.

Then, in the locker room, with the victory cigars smoking to such an extent you could have mistaken the Tigers’ locker room for a student hotbox convention, a Barney Fife police officer decided that he’d had enough of this miscreant behaviour, and told freshman offensive lineman Kardell Thomas that it was an offense smoking in a locker room. Odell Beckham Jr could also be seen in the shot slapping the cop’s behind. A warrant has now been issued for his arrest.

You truly couldn’t make this up.

Amid all the furore and headline-stealing of their former wide receiver, there came some major news in the form of Joe Brady. 

The creator of the Lazarus of Death Valley had decided that he was going to go back to the NFL, deciding to join Matt Rhule’s staff at Carolina as offensive coordinator. Because of his amazing season that made him a household name in football as well as his age, Brady will get lots of limelight and won’t have to worry about selling the school to 16 year-olds with attitude. Or have to take guidance from Odell Beckham Jr. Lucky him.

Oh, and then some major parts of the team left, too, with seven underclassmen (so far) declaring for pastures professional.

After expunging horrific memories of his brother in Baton Rouge, superstar WR Justin Jefferson is gone, so is safety and captain Grant Delpit and one of the most underrated-yet-superb running backs this season, Clyde Edwards-Helaire. All three will be first or second round NFL Draft picks. Star tight end Thaddeus Moss has also said he’s leaving, too.

Center Lloyd Cushenberry, LB/DB Patrick Queen, OT Saadiq Charles, and LB Jacob Phillips have all decided to leave the goldfish bowl, too.

There’s been a meme going around of Ja’Marr Chase standing in the middle of a house, looking around, wondering where it has all gone after the news came through. It wouldn’t be a total surprise if Chase throws and receives for 3,000 yards and 25 TDs as part of the new offensive philosophy: Throw to thyself.

It couldn’t be any stranger than Beckham Jr’s actions, after all.

(Oh, and one quick addition: Defensive coordinator Dave Aranda’s about to pick up the head coaching job at Baylor, too….)

 

Two incidents, two moments, two…..Georgia?

After a ton of Bulldog wailing and gnashing of teeth, Georgia quarterback decided that he’d had enough of Sanford, and declared for the NFL. For someone who has got worse as the season has gone on, his decision was questionable to say the least.

For us, Fromm – after being taken in the 3rd round at best – is going to be a backup quarterback for a while. He’ll get his chance in 2022, and he’ll do fine. Or he’ll be another Chase Daniel, and make a ton of money as a back-up.

Georgia fans love Fromm though. He came in for Jacob Eason after Easton got injured, took the starting job by the scruff of the neck, and walked away with three straight SEC East titles, one SEC Championship, as well as a trip to the National Championship Game. He went 1-3 in terms of the ‘big games’.

For us, Fromm’s ascension from nothing is an exciting story. It was the good, young Christian kid warding off the show-off five-star big-mouth, and forcing him to the North West, home of hippies, rain, and Pac-12 teams. He arrived, went from game manager to someone making great throws, before regressing to being a so-so quarterback before leaving for richer pastures.

Speaking of richer pastures, please can someone tell me what in the hell is going on with Cade Mays?

A consensus future NFL first-rounder, Mays decided to throw in his name to the transfer portal after being one of the most dominant offensive linesmen in the world of college football.

He will be using Thomas Mars, the same lawyer that managed to get Justin Fields from Sanford to Ohio State without needing a year off. Mars has gone on the record to say he’s confident this will happen again.

Apparently going to Tennessee (his father played there), Mays is leaving because of what seems like a family gripe against the institution, after his father had a part of his finger amputated after getting it stuck in a chair during his son’s recruitment.

You surely couldn’t make this crap up.

But then again, it’s Georgia.

 

 

On January 13th, 2020, we will see the battle.

Shere Khan versus Tigger.

One Death Valley against another.

A recently-awoken sleeping giant from the State where Laissez Les Bons Temps Roulee isn’t so much a catchphrase as a way of being against the perennial joke that’s now put the joke on others.

It’s ACC vs SEC.

It’s the battle between two recruiting powerhouses.

Two well-liked coaches in Ed Orgeron and Dabo Swinney.

Two high-octane offenses, featuring one quarterback who was a pretty much an afterthought this season, but exploded into a Heisman winner, a feature on the front cover of Sports Illustrated, a future Top-5 round pick, and the God of one of the most spellbinding offenses college football has ever seen. The other quarterback started the season as a Heisman favorite, fell away from the pack after a slow start, but found some sort of redemption against one of the best defenses in the nation with a 65-yard rushing touchdown and a late-game winning passing touchdown.

One brilliant offensive mind against one of the most brilliant defensive minds of a generation.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s Monday Night in the Death Valleys. The National Championship’s on the line. LSU and Clemson….make it fun.

—-

 

We can’t wait. We can’t wait. We can’t wait.

Vegas has the spread as 6 1/2 in LSU’s favor, with the over/under set at 60.5. These two sides have such offenses that the 60.5 could be blown out in the first two quarters, let alone the first four. The betting boys think this one will be fun, too.

The certainty is that with all the bells and whistles that LSU has  – organised by offensive geniuses Joe Brady and Steve Ensminger – when it’s bombing the ball for thousands of yards, this will be the best defense they have faced this year. Points-wise, LSU’s worst outing was against Auburn, when they put up 23, but still managed over 500 yards of offense. The mind boggles.

Clemson’s offense – run by OC Jeff Scott (who’s leaving to be head coach at USF after this game) – ain’t bad either. Although Joe Burrow put up ungodly numbers this year (5,208 yards, 55 TDs, 6 INTs), we have to give Lawrence a bit of love, too. Lawrence threw for 3,461 yards, 36 TDs and 8 INTs. He’s not thrown an interception since October 10th.

Receivers-wise, and you are free to drool. Because everyone else is. On one side LSU has got the freaks. J’Marr Chase has 1,559 yards and 18 TDs. Justin Jefferson has 1,434 yards and 18 TDs. Terrance Marshall has 625 yards receiving and 12 TDs. Pick your poison, please. Then on Clemson’s side, it’s Tee Higgins (1,115 yards, 13 TDs), Justyn Ross (789 yards, 8 TDs) and Amari Rodgers (418 yards, 4 TDs). Clemson’s numbers look so much worse than LSU’s, but that’s because Clemson was always up by 900 by the end of the first half (unless it was against UNC), and most of the stuff was done by back-ups.

Clemson also has the fact that it’s got the 5-10, 210 lb lightning-in-a-bottle that’s Travis Etienne. He’s been the difference-maker all year long, logging 1,536 yards on the track (with 18 TDs), as well as 32 receptions and 4 other visits to the house. This has meant that when Lawrence has not been playing well, Etienne has picked up the slack. For LSU, Clyde Edwards-Helaire has also been a battering ram. Despite his 1,304 yards and 16 yards, as well as 50 passes caught for 399 yards and 8 house calls. Is it just us, or does he seem to be somewhat understated in THAT Joe Brady offense? And yes, we remember his touchdown against Alabama.

—

We wish the best of luck to the two people tasked with trying to stop these juggernauts – the defensive coordinators.

Brent Venables and Dave Aranda did a good job of quietening Ohio State and Oklahoma respectively, but these two tigers have a roar to wake up the dead.

For Venables, he’s going to have to pick his poison and basically try to cover Chase and Jefferson with a mixture of top safeties K’Von Wallace and Tanner Muse, and hope that Burrow doesn’t thread the needle to Terrance Marshall and Thaddeus Moss, son of THE Randy Moss. Oklahoma put all their efforts on stopping Chase (restricting him to just two receptions), and it worked admirably. But their shoddy secondary couldn’t stop Jefferson and Moss, who scored a combined six TDs against them.

It should also be fun to watch Venables’ best weapon – 2019 Butkus Award-winning linebacker Isaiah Simmons roving around. The future first round pick had 97 tackles, 3 Interceptions (including the game-winning one against Ohio State), six passes defenders, one fumble recovery and two forced fumbles this year, and he’s going to be rough to stop. Joining him will be seniors James Skaliski and Chad Smith, who will – on top of everything else – be charged with not letting Burrow scramble (he ran for 310 yards and 4 TDs, and consistently makes throws while scrambling) and try and get a hand to his throws. Good luck with that, again.

And while we’ve given a lot of crap to Dave Aranda (we called LSU a ‘Big 12 team’ in November, thanks to the team’s shoddy defensive play), it has to be said that this defense is improving, and improving fast.

While we’re not sure what they are up front, linebackers Derek Phillips (105 total tackles) and K’Lavon Chaisson (6 1/2 sacks) have both been excellent. In the secondary, the team has gone from very ordinary to excellent in a relatively short space of time. After a poor, injury-scarred first half of the season, consensus pre-season All American Grant Delpit, who we were looking forward to seeing all year long, has really come back into his own. In the last three games he’s been the shut-down, avoid-at-all-costs safety that we’ve all known he is, roving around like a wolf.  But it was somewhat of a surprise that given Delpit’s first half poverty that he gained the Jim Thorpe Award. Because compared to JaCoby Stevens (85 tackles, 3 INTs, 6 Passes defended), Derek Stingley (6 INTs) and Kristian Fulton, who’s also had 13 passes defended, he hasn’t been great. Like Clemson, LSU’s secondary will also have to pick its poisons. I mean, try stopping Rodgers, Ross, Higgins and Diondre Overton, while also keeping an eye out for Travis Etienne. Delpit’s going to have to keep up his season-ending form, or Etienne could be running all night.

—

So what’s going to happen on this wild, wild night?

Here’s for certain: 75% or more of that crowd in the Superdome will be drunken, obnoxious LSU fans, willing their team on. In other words, it’ll be like Death Valley, Baton Rouge on a Saturday night.

And with the wildness, the field could be wilder. It’s not going to be the 23-20 of the Auburn/LSU game. It’s not going to be the down and dirty battle of Ohio State and Clemson in the semi-final. It won’t be the beatdown of the semi-final in Atlanta that LSU gave to Oklahoma, either.

It’s going to be a darned track meet. And college football will be all the funner for it.

PREDICTION: LSU 44, Clemson 42 (after over-time).

 

 

 

 

 

When Nick Saban marched onto the podium with Alabama QB Tua Tagovailoa yesterday, all I could think was: “He’s going to stay”.

After all, most great players in Alabama history made their decisions and Nick Saban said very little about them.

Maybe it was because he was too busy texting other recruits, or looking at game film on the next year’s starting opponents, or merely making sure Mrs Saban got her antiques delivery on time, but he didn’t seem to do it.

This year, he was out there. “Tua has probably has had as much of an impact on our program here as any player that we’ve ever had,” Saban said. “And I’m not just talking about as a football player.”

Tua gave Saban one of the greatest moments in his career when he led the Tide to a National Championship with an overtime throw that beat Georgia in the 2018 National Championship Game.

If it wasn’t for Tua being injured, Alabama would probably be in the play-off this week as the best team in. After all, it’s probable they would have gone to Auburn and won (Mac Jones played well but still threw two Pick-6s).

Anyway, up to now.

Saban taking Tua to the podium was beautiful. It was warm-hearted….the antithesis of what people think about Nick Saban, who’s more famed for being grumpy than anything else. But in this moment, it was like God saying goodbye to Jesus, and wishing him well on his future endeavours.

But damn, it was good recruiting theatre too.

Because if they were watching on, every new quarterback or other five-star recruit coming to Alabama must be thinking: “If I am as good as Tua was, maybe I can get The Best Coach In College Football History to give me that kind of send-off”.