Right, so we’ve been plunged into the deep end by Week 6 of the college football season.

In the AP’s rankings, Alabama is No.1, followed by Clemson, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU and Oklahoma. Florida, Wisconsin, Notre Dame and Penn State fill out your Top 10. Auburn (12th) and Texas A&M (24th) are the other SEC teams on the list.

So here are our power rankings for the SEC. This is less about ‘how they look’ and more about ‘who they’ve beaten’.

1. Florida (6-0): Beat Auburn in a monstrously noisy atmosphere in The Swamp. It was like being back in Spurrier’s time again. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty (they turned the ball over 4 times), but the Gators’ defense is amazing. The LSU game in Baton Rouge – with College Gameday there – will be fascinating.
2. Georgia (5-0): The Bulldogs weren’t great against Tennessee in the first half, but then they steamrolled the Volunteers.
3. LSU (5-0): Cruised against Utah State and the defense turned up for the first time this season. Joe Burrow continues to fascinate. Their win against Texas puts them above Alabama, but Georgia’s win over Notre Dame looks better.
4. Alabama (5-o): Alabama being idle vaulted them above Auburn for one reason: The Crimson Tide would have done a lot better after grabbing FOUR turnovers against Florida than Auburn did.
5. Auburn (5-1): Bo Nix isn’t brilliant. Auburn’s defense is. Auburn actually needs to beat one of LSU, Georgia or Alabama to ensure Gus Malzahn’s in a job come next season. After an inept offensive performance in The Swamp, the daggers are already unsheathed again.
6. Missouri (4-1): The Tigers dispatched Troy, but the defense – after the dreadful Wyoming loss – actually looks great, and the offense looks better with Kelly Bryant. We’ll see if Bryant’s knee is better this week, and LB Cale Garrett’s pectoral injury will hurt, but the Tigers are still deep at linebacker.
7. Texas A&M (3-2): The Aggies’ two losses have been to Clemson and Auburn and they’ve looked poor. And they looked low on confidence against Arkansas. The Aggie tribe are getting restless. But they have to calm down: They’ve got one of nastiest schedules in the country. And they aren’t terrible.
8. Ole Miss (3-3): The offense is fun, and the defense isn’t completely horrible.
9. Mississippi State (3-2): Garrett Schrader or Tommy Stevens aren’t looking great options for Joe Moorhead. I’m not loving either one. This could well be the second-worst team in the SEC West.
10. South Carolina (2-3): I’m not wildly convinced about the Gamecocks, but they’ve suffered from the season-ending injury to Jake Bentley. Their 24-7 win over Kentucky showed that they are a middling SEC team who’s probably going to a bad, boring New Year’s Day Florida Bowl.
11. Arkansas (2-3): We know that the ‘Backs haven’t gotten a win in the SEC in 13 games, but the performance against Texas A&M could be a real boost for the program. They go on the road to Kentucky on Saturday, where it will be a true trainscrash of SEC mediocrity.
12. Tennessee (1-4): The Volunteers blew two games against Georgia State and BYU that would have made things seem a little nicer for Jeremy Pruitt. The first half against Georgia was actually pretty good, but then Georgia made the adjustments and laid waste to the Vols. On the bright side, true freshman QB Brian Maurer gave the offense a bit of oomph. There is some hope for the Vols (they still have to play Kentucky and Vanderbilt) to get a win or two in the SEC East.
13. Kentucky (2-3): The offense is awful (41 points in-conference this year), and the defense is worse. And still, they should have beaten Florida. The marginal Gators loss is suddenly looking their best SEC result so far after bludgeonings by Mississippi State and a not-very-good South Carolina side.
14. Vanderbilt (1-4): Fire. Derek. Mason. Now.

Sorry for the radio silence.

We weren’t renaming ourselves.

Or firing people – because there’s one of us, and that’s me.

It’s because I requested a transfer.

Put myself in the transfer portal.

And the wife and I have moved to the hot cooker of football – Texas.

We’re in Houston, where the oil money flows like the water in the Bayou and the mosquitos are manic.

It’s great because I can watch SEC games in the same time-zone, not sit there watching until 5am every morning like I have one in the UK.

Our only problem has been the internet. AT&T sucks.

But thanks to the next-door neighbors, we’re back.

For half a season.

But half a season’s better than no season at all.

And let’s be honest: Apart from LSU’s trip to Texas, Auburn vs Florida and (maybe) Auburn vs Texas A&M, we haven’t had the big-time SEC games yet.

Of course there have been evolutions. LSU’s suddenly playing a spread offense. Gus Malzahn’s job security actually looked OK for a week, while Derek Mason looks like he’s got one foot out of the door. And people are starting to talk about ‘that’ Missouri’s defense.

The same things remain. Alabama and Georgia remain the teams to beat. Nick Saban is still yelling at the press. Players are still getting booted off teams. No-one likes the NCAA.

So we’re back, SEC. And we’re happy.

It’s nighttime in Death Valley. The War Eagle Flies. We’re running through the T. We’re chomping. We’re asking how ‘bout them Dawgs. We’re clanging, pig sooein’, rammer jammerin’, Ole miss by damn’. We’re a 12^th Man, the ZOU in MIZ, a Commodore, and a Wildcat. There’s even 2001 or maybe a Sandstorm.

Our churches aren’t small. They are megachurches, holding a screaming congregation that will bury you with noise. They’ve even been allowed some in-game communion wine to add to their palates during services now. It should make Saturday church a little louder. When they win with a God-given upset, they jump over railings, get stuck in hedges, surf goalposts through crowded streets and toilet paper trees. When they lose, they look like their world has been torn apart. The pretty sorority girls and young frats with their bow ties look miserable. The painted clowns look clownish and stunned. All of them use words to the heavens that they wouldn’t take with grandma to church.

But in our churches, it’s important to know our pastors. There are 14 of them. If they bring home The Ultimate Prize, then the size of the statue won’t do the achievement justice. Of course, the pastor must obey the main commandment of SEC football: Thou Shalt Not Lose. Particularly if it’s the cardinal sin of losing Eggs, third Saturdays, big games or Cocktail Parties – or losing too many SEC games. If they do, hotter seats than hell will appear and behinds will sit on them. Pastor Gus of Auburn has sought redemption a couple of time from being excommunicated. But this year’s another year. It doesn’t matter if you’re likeable. If you don’t help the congregation reach the higher plain, you’re out. Some elders will give a new pastor two or three years to work their magic, but after that, notice will be hammered on the door like Martin Luther did with his articles.

To make a pastor successful to his congregations, he must be able to bring in the moving parts from smaller, younger churches every season. Churches aren’t expected to fizzle out. We at the SEC don’t mind paying for talent, as long as we don’t get caught. Much. And after their success in college, they go to Big Church Sundays. We implore Mr Goodell, high elder of the professional league, to skip the preliminaries and just call your professional conference the SEC-FL? After all, our boosters probably pay more than some of your teams do. This year, Tua will again make the tongues waggle, although we’re also excited by Bryant, Swift, Fromm, Delphit, Jeudy, Mond, Williams, Stingley and a guy based in the Mid-West known only as ‘Albert O’. But there will be many more names by season-end. Because this is the SEC.

The pastors and the congregrations know who the biggest church in our movement are. At the moment, they are in Tuscaloosa and Athens. They are going to be pretty good in the Year of Our Lord 2019, we hear. They’ve got the West and East divisions running scared and their schedules measure up sweetly. It’s hard to see who is going to beat them. Hell, it’s hard to see who’s going to give them a good fight. We expect more drama at the SEC Championship Game. And no trick plays please, Kirby. The likes of LSU, Auburn and Florida will feel like ‘also-rans’, even if that’s not the case. There’s always room for the upset. See the last time Georgia rolled into Death Valley. Take a moment in thinking about the orders of service for 14 teams for the Pastor Jimbo’s congregation in College Station. It’s downright evil.

But there will be competition for the Ultimate Prize this year from other denominations. The congregation in Clemson in the Atlantic Denomination is pretty good. As are Sooners from Oklahoma in the Southwest. There are the people of ‘The’ and ‘Big Blue’ in icier Big 11, and we’re heard that there might even be a good team in the NorthWest who are known as Huskies or Ducks in the driven down out West. But against us, can they really hold their own? If there’s two teams that will compete with us for the Ultimate Prize, we’ll go for the ‘Eyes and the Tigers. The rest will falter and fall.

Beyond the transfers, the head coaches, the stadium reductions and the backhanders to recruits, the NCAA can change something else that would really take the sport a step forward: The schedules.

The ACC and SEC play 8 in-conference games and 4 non-conference games, while the Big Ten, Pac-12 and Big XII all play nine.

Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban both expressed a preference for nine games. In fact, Nick Saban has been lobbying for it since 2012, while Gus Malzahn last year admitted he’s had a Damascus experience on scheduling (probably because Auburn’s is so arduous year after year): “Nine I think is best for us moving forward to make the schedules more equal across the conference.”

Kirby Smart of Georgia – also one of the SEC’s most powerful coaches – joined the ‘pro’ shout. He said: “I think it [would be] a good thing, but I think you will have teams with more losses. Does it affect a team getting in the playoff? I don’t know, but I know you have a lot more games to get up for, a lot more good rivalry games. It’s not just about travelling, it’s just as much about the atmosphere of playing an SEC opponent, I think you are playing more comparable teams to your talent level, I think it’s important for college football.”

Other coaches haven’t expressed an opinion – possibly because half of them lost their jobs after the 2017 season, and the new ones have yet to have a voice. The only time that voters voted to keep the schedule as-is was 2013. Will Muschamp, while he was at Florida, said that it was likely to move to nine games in 2013, but never happened.

The ACC has done the same. While this isn’t a huge surprise bearing in mind the ACC and SEC are two of the biggest superpower conferences in college football right now (although the ACC Network is still going to be minor compared to the SEC Network and the Big Ten Network (that may well turn around during basketball season), it has to change.

For the fans! 

Why? Because not only are Big Ten, Big XII and Pac-12 looking at tougher, in-conference schedules which have in the end worked out nicely for the ACC and SEC, which have captured the last four National Championships. Both Clemson and Alabama in the last four days have lost less than five games. Combined.

Also in the SEC, the way that the rivalries work is rather stupid. What could be more dislikeable than putting together one permanent rival and one division rival?

It means that the likes of Alabama and Georgia hardly play each other in the regular season, and teams like Auburn get royally screwed because they have to play Georgia – and Alabama – every season.

We get that SEC fans like their rivalries. We love them too. If it was a nine-game format, the Iron Bowl will still exist. So will the Egg Bowl, the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and LSU vs Alabama. We can still have the major cross-divisional rivalries like the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry (Auburn vs Georgia) and the Third Saturday in October, but we can also have one more cross-divisional games, which means the fans (probably quite important) get to see more East vs West games (which may reverse the trend of declining attendances, too), which will also be good for the ones that pay the bills – the SEC Network, CBS or ESPN.

Why should the SEC and ACC changing their schedules change college football in general? Easy. It shuts up the argument altogether. It makes for equality between FBS Conferences, shutting up the whole “we play more in-conference games than you”, because the other one (“We play in a more difficult conference than you”) becomes null and void. Not only that, it’s an easier job for the College Football Play-Off Committee to work out who’s should be ‘in’ with a flat schedule, and also, it pretty much shuts-up massive controversy.

What about the NCAA?

The NCAA will argue that ‘scheduling is not our business’, but that’s absolute crap. If the NCAA is happy to govern everything else, then why not govern one of the key aspects of the game? Not only that, but why are the conferences letting coaches or Athletic Directors – who all have biases on this subject but may well be fired before the next vote comes out (the SEC last voted on it in 2013 and ACC ADs voted on it in 2016) – vote on this altogether. The NCAA should mandate this and that would be that.

The ones that will suffer, inevitably, will be the smaller non-FBS schools, which rely on coming to a stadium and getting the living crap beaten out of them for $1 million (there are quite a few exceptions.

But unfortunately, college football is not a charity. Smaller FCS schools will still make their money. But unless there will be less of them. Will this lead to a shutdown of smaller programs? Sadly, probably. But will it be better for college football as a whole we see more and more in-conference rivalries? Definitely.

Football loves winners. Sure, there are the celebrated losers (Charlie Weis in his time in Kansas), but we care more about the trophies, the Heismans, and the winners.

After all, schools build their cathedrals because they like winning and let rich people know that they like winning, and will do anything for that. The rich people then put in their money for winning, and coaches are hired. Hopefully, the coaches win, and statues are created in their image, and the congregations bow down.

Urban Meyer was a skilled high priest. He won three of them.

The first two were at Florida, a program that was still recovering a little from Steve Spurrier’s departure. He took home two National Championships, three SEC Championships, and more important for Gators fans, beat Georgia 5 out of 6 times.

After he returned after a year of stress relief, he went to Ohio State. Ohio State doesn’t lose much and doesn’t like losing much, and in Columbus he didn’t do that, winning another National Championship (1) and beating Michigan (7-0).

His brilliant recruiting at Ohio State and Florida made sure that his guys earned some money in the pros, too. Maurkice Pouncey and Mike Pouncey are still stalwarts on the offensive lines. Joe Haden is still playing. Percy Harvin had 8,000 receiving and kick returning yards before retiring. Brandon Spikes had a mixed career, but still ended up with 349 tackles. And although you wanted to punch him for his outrageous remarks in 2013, Riley Cooper was a great target (2,400 yards, 18 TDs). And Ohio State, Meyer saw – amongst others – draftings for Joey Bosa, Ryan Shazier, Michael Thomas, Marshon Lattimore and one Ezekiel Elliott. Even 2018 first rounder Denzel Ward has shone, grabbing 3 INTs and 48 tackles. And even though Aaron Hernandez could be defined as an awful human being, he was a  stud tight end for the New England Patriots.

The Flaws

The mistakes I make,

That’s the real me

Nas

But while the football was going well, the man management went to hell.

During his reign in Gainseville, forty-one players were arrested. That’s half a football team. Of these, one was Cam Newton (laptop stealing), and the other was Hernandez (felony battery). We all know what happened to both of them. Newton was kicked off the side, and Meyer kept Hernandez on after appeals from St. Tim Tebow. As it goes, even Tebow couldn’t save Hernandez in the same way as Gus Malzahn did for Cam Newton.

At Ohio State, 8 Ohio State players were handcuffed under Meyer’s supervision, and then there was the bit this summer where Meyer lied about knowing about domsetic abuse allegations made against his wide receivers coach, Zach Smith. Because of football’s eagerness not to keep its bosses on the sidelines, Meyer was only given a three-game suspension.

And yet through all of this, it’s difficult not to feel sorry for Urban Meyer. We should be grateful that it was just stress that gave Meyer chest pains during his Florida reign, and thank God that Meyer didn’t have an aneurysm on the field. You know, because sometimes the Devil deserves some sympathy.

It’s  going to be an interesting week in the SEC. Most people with have their eyes glued to Georgia’s trip to Death Valley. Personally, we wish that it was a 7pm kick-off rather than the 3.30, but that’s because we love a raucous Tiger Stadium (and so will the fans who have to endure the humidity!!). Then there’s Texas A&M’s potentially tricky trip to South Carolina, Florida going to Vandy, Ole Miss playing Arkansas in the ‘Battle of The Worst Teams In The SEC West’, and Tennessee’s trip to Auburn. Oh, and Missouri go to Alabama as the latest sacrificial lambs to Nick Saban’s offense.

Anyway, so here we go….

1. No.2 Georgia (-7.5) at LSU: Our fear for LSU is this: UGA QB Jake Fromm isn’t going to give LSU’s excellent secondary the chance for a lot of break-ups and interceptions, but the Tigers were at times gashed by Florida last week on the road, giving up 215 and 2 TDs on the floor. The week before, LSU gave up 150 and a TD. The Tigers have only had one game where they have given up less than 80. And they face a Georgia team in Elijah Holyfield and D’Andre Swift who could do some real damage down there. And although offensively LSU has the height advantage receivers-wise, if they perform like they did in that last drive for Joe Burrow, they are in trouble. And while it’s been noted that both teams have been excellent in the red-zone, I would trust UGA to put more chances away than LSU – particularly with LSU’s beaten-up offensive line. PREDICTION: Dawgs bark. Georgia by 14 in a convincing road win. An additional note for betting folks: The last time LSU was as bigger an underdog to a team, it was Alabama when they went to Bryant-Denny as 20.5 point dogs. The last time they were a plentiful home underdog was Auburn last year, when they were 7pts to the bad. For those gambling deviants, Ed Orgeron’s team came out 2-0 (1-1 in actual game results). 
2. No.22 Texas A&M (-2.5) at South Carolina: Texas A&M’s only two losses of the season have been to ‘Bama and Clemson, and they beat a ranked team (Kentucky) more comfortably than the victory in overtime might suggest. Kellen Mond is an excellent quarterback who should flourish against a South Carolina defense which is….ahem….not great. South Carolina rode their luck against Missouri last week with regards to poor officiating, poor weather, and Mizzou’s defensive disability, and we aren’t convinced that they are very good – even with Home Field Advantage. There will be a lot of Sandstorm, but when that settles, it’ll be the Aggies who should come out victorious. PREDICTION: Texas A&M by 13. 
3. Ole Miss (-7) at Arkansas: If your recipe for fun is College Football Trainwreck, then please consider the Ole Miss-Arkansas game as one that’l be just to your taste. Ole Miss’ offense let all hang out against poor ULM, dropping 70 points and over 800 yards. But Arkansas did what no offense had done this year against Alabama – score 31 points on them. This game will be more about ball control from Arkansas’ point-of-view in an effort to deal with an Ole Miss offensive that can put up the points, quickly. Arkansas’ passing defense gives up 271 yards per game (12th in the SEC), which doesn’t fill us with optimism against an Ole Miss team that can drop bombs. However, Ole Miss’ defense is absolutely terrible (worst in the SEC, 124th in the country out of 130, and second-lowest among Power-5 schools (only Oregon State is worse), too. This trainwreck will be a lot of fun. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 6 in a shoot-out that smashes the 70.5 over/under.
4.  Tennessee at Auburn (-15): Tennessee might not be improving, but nor is Auburn. In fact, the knives are already sharpening for Gus Malzahn after the Tigers’ shambolic performance against Mississippi State last week. The game won’t be pretty, (Bar the Washington game, Auburn games this season have been dreadful to watch), but we expect Tennessee to hang in there. The reasons are simple: Auburn’s offense is awful, and it’s managed to get worse week-by-week, not better. Tennessee has had two weeks to steel itself for Auburn (including mending a defense that gives up 340 yards/game). Listen, Auburn’s defense is too good to let the Vols win, but it’s going to be closer than most imagine. Oh, and we’d like to give a lot of love to the 5,000 Tennessee fans going to Auburn that weekend. UT fans: You deserve better. Prediction: Auburn by 10. And the locals still won’t be happy.
5. No.14 Florida (-8) at Vanderbilt: Florida’s excellent performance against LSU was a testament to good defense and a little offensive invention by Dan Mullen, while last week Vanderbilt played well for a quarter against Georgia before the Commodores were summarily dismantled. Vanderbilt is quite simply not a good team, while Florida is getting better and better each week. PREDICTION: Florida bites through the private school kids by 14.
6. Missouri at No.1 Alabama (-27.5): Alabama QB Tuanigamanuolepola Tagovailoa (try saying that first name after a few beers!) is a very good quarterback. We know this because he’s going to probably win the Heisman. Missouri’s Drew Lock was meant to be a Heisman candidate, but his wide receivers can’t seem to catch the ball, and he’s not been great, either. Alabama’s offense scores about 60 a game. Missouri’s secondary is the second-worst in the SEC and 117th in the nation, giving up a tidy 284 yards/game. And although Tua’s got a knee sprain, Nick Saban told the press he’s taken ‘every rep in practice’. This does not bode well. Oh, and Saban was also grumpy at his defense for giving up 31 to Arkansas. Somehow I don’t think this will happen again. PREDICTION: Alabama by 40.

Trainwreck doesn’t cover just bad Florida’s 2017 season was. There was a bit of a smile when they beat Tennessee on a Hail Mary in one of the plays of the season, but that was it, save for Jim McElwain’s nudist battle with a shark. Dan Mullen arrived to the pomp and circumstance (and some new Jordans), but he’s had to deal with non-stop disciplinary crap – something that must be weighing on Gator Nation. You know, that and the rise and rise of one of their most hated enemies.

OFFENSE

Every time we think about UF’s offense, we get squeamish. The Gators were 110th in total offense, good enough for the second-worst in the SEC behind Tennessee (the third-worst was South Carolina in 109th). Rushing-wise that number improved to 75th, but 102nd in passing. Oh, and being placed 109th in points-per-game was as brutal, too.

The biggest issue for the Gators was that starting QB Luke Del Rio blew out his shoulder early on, and there was no cover. Malik Zaire’s transfer from Notre Dame was a failure and Felipe Franks’ only highlight of a season where he threw 9 TDs and 8 INTs was THAT bomb against Tennessee.

Anyway, enough of 2017.

One key for Florida’s failure was a HORRIBLE offensive line, which one of the worst teams in FBS football (123rd out of 129) for sacks given up (37). That’s some going. And although Martez Ivey is back – and Jawaan Taylor provided some better moments – the injuries sustained as well as a record of, well, not being particularly good doesn’t fill us with confidence. We hope we’re wrong.

QB-wise, it’s a three-way battle between Franks, Kyle Trask and Emory Jones, with no-one clearly standing out. Any of them would have four-star freshman stud Justin Watkins to throw to…. he hadn’t ‘left’ the program after being arrested twice in three months in increasingly sinister situations – which included kidnapping. Van Jefferson, the stud WR who came across from Ole Miss, has just cleared waivers by the SEC, so he could be one hell of a target. Jefferson had nearly 1,000 yards receiving for the Rebels over the last two years.

Running-wise, we’re a little more confident. Lamical Perrine and Malik Davis shared the rushing last year and put up over 1,000 yards between them. That isn’t a bad 1-2 punch. Jordan Scarlett will also provide some fun (he’s back after ‘credit card gate”).

DEFENSE

We can’t understand why College Football Preview gave UF’s defense so much crap for last year. It was 5th in the nation in total yards given up and 4th in FBS), but with THAT offense, they were always going to tire out. And this year,

But in 2018, the Gators are still pretty loaded – especially on defense. Led by Duke Dawson and CJ Henderson (4 INTS each) and Jeawon Taylor at safety had 30 tackles and 1.5 sacks last year, it should be hard to throw on them.

In front of them, LB David Reese’s production of 102 tackles in 2017 will excite a lot of Gators fans. Although CeCe Jefferson’s shoulder surgery could be quite a hole to start the year, the returns of Chauncey Gardiner, Zabari Zuniga and Vosean Joseph will mean that the Gators should be a force. The team will have to be better against the rush (28th nationally).

SCHEDULE

Sept. 1 Charleston Southern
Sept. 8 Kentucky
Sept. 15 Colorado State
Sept. 22 at Tennessee
Sept. 29 at Mississippi State
Oct. 6 LSU
Oct. 13 at Vanderbilt
Oct. 20 OPEN DATE
Oct. 27 vs. Georgia (in Jacksonville)
Nov. 3 Missouri
Nov. 10 South Carolina
Nov. 17 Idaho
Nov. 24 at Florida State

The Gators will start the season at 4-0, which shouldn’t be too surprising bearing in mind they should be favored in all four. Mullen’s return to Mississippi State will be a very nasty atmosphere – especially if it’s at night – and we think they’ll lose, and follow that up by losing to LSU at home in another heartbreaker. They’ll rebound to beat Vanderbilt to get to five wins before losing to Georgia in the Cocktail Party. They’ll beat Missouri at home, lose to South Carolina at home, thrash Idaho but lose to Florida State. The locals won’t be happy, but it’s still a rebuilding phase for Mullen after the Jim McElwain Era.

PREDICTION: 7-5. The locals will be pretty happy after the step-up from the Jim McElwain era.

Finally Dan Mullen has an Advil to lesson his current headache – Justin Watkins, his four-star freshman cournerback – has said he’s going to leave the school, according to the Miami Herald.

According to the Herald, he said in a tweet: “I am leaving the University of Florida to better my opportunities“.

Watkins has been arrested twice in the last three months since his arrival.

The first – which happened in May – was when he followed a female student to her car and kicked her car – after following her to her high school. He was arrested there for illegal trespass. And then Watkins was arrested for a quadruple felony. This included two first-degree counts of kidnap (false imprisonment), a third-degree count of domestic battery by strangulation, according to records. That’s pretty frightening.

It smells a lot like Mullen gave him the ‘leave or you’ll be fired’ talk. Watkins took the ‘I’ll resign’ approach.

Every year there’s a cup called the Fulmer Cup, named after the school that gets the most arrests during the offseason and season.

And as much as fun as Florida’s former head coach Steve Spurrier has made fun of Georgia in the past for the Bulldogs behavior (“I don’t know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended), suddenly there’s a bit of egg on face in The Swamp.

Because at the moment it’s a damned mess at Florida.

First of all, there have been the dual arrests of freshman RB Justin Watkins – both of which are incredibly disturbing. The first – which happened in May – was when he followed a female student to her car and kicked her car – after following her to her high school. He was arrested there for illegal trespass.

And then Watkins was arrested for a quadruple felony. This included two first-degree counts of kidnap (false imprisonment), a third-degree count of domestic battery by strangulation, according to records. That’s pretty frightening.

Mullen suspended him indefinitely, when most head coaches probably would have booted him.

AIR GUN-GATE

This time, there’s university police getting called for an argument between seven football players and Gainseville-based gambler. Some of the players involved (WRs Tyrie Cleveland and WR Rick Wells, who were suspended last year for credit card fraud) had been suspended last year, so evidently they hadn’t learned their lesson.

And stupidly, they were waving their BB guns – made to look like AR-15 Assault rifles for some stupid reason – around. As SB Nation reported, this “UF’s student code of conduct, which prohibits the use or possession of any firearms — BB guns included”.

They then lied to the police.

Now the police  – because they didn’t arrest any of the players – has recommended that they go and speak to the Student Conduct and Resolution Department.

WHY NOT BOOT OR SUSPEND?

The kids are lucky, because if we’re honest, Mullen should put his foot down. Watkins should be booted not ‘suspended indefinitely’ (although he may well end up in jail). Cleveland and Wells should also go or be suspended for the whole 2018 season because they were part of a fight and this is their second offense. Or simply get thrown out. Oh, and we can’t understand why the police didn’t arrest players involved with the BB guns for violating on-campus firearms rules. WR Kadarius Toney, who apparently was carrying the gun, got a little lucky. If he’d been in Gainseville itself, he could well have ended up being tazered or a lot, lot worse. Mullen HAS to suspend Toney for the season.

So far, Mullen’s response has been a little limp. It’s along the lines of having a big ol’ sigh and saying: “Boys will be boys”. He said: “We were made aware of the incident when it occurred and immediately began following campus protocol,” the statement read. “This has been an opportunity for us to educate our players about the dangers and negative perceptions that can occur when conflict arises, and how important honesty and good decision making is.

We hate to say it, but this ‘campus protocol’ stuff lets Mullen cover his behind and reinstate his players. He has to put his foot down hard, or he’ll lose what respect he has from both media and players.

Shouldn’t have worn those Jordans, coach.

It was the first day of SEC Media Days on Tuesday, and there were a couple of changes: Firstly, the crazy train rolled up to Atlanta rather than Hoover, Alabama, and second, there seem to be 401 new head coaches. Thankfully, they are all used to crazy people, so walking in the first shouldn’t have been too much of a problem.

On the first day of FinebaumStock, Texas A&M’s head coach Jimbo Fisher, LSU’s Ed Orgeron and Kentucky’s Mark Stoops took the stage to face off against such questions as: “Do you feel good about your team this year?” and “What’s it like coming to the SEC?” and “How much pressure is there to beat Alabama win the SEC West?”.

Anyway, so here we go with some quotes….

JIMBO FISHER (Texas A&M)

• The return to the SEC: “I didn’t [think I would get back to the SEC] I had no intentions leaving Florida State. I was very happy and very content there. As you know, life takes changes and decisions are made (EDITOR’S NOTE: NO MENTION OF 10 YEARS, $75 MILLION) . I was very happy and at a great university there.”
• On the SEC West: “Whoever can survive that gauntlet of games and come out of there, you know is going to compete. And whoever wins the SEC has a chance to win the national championship. You can play with anybody in the country….I know. I lived it for 13 years. I understand what’s it’s like. I understand the way your players are Monday and Tuesday after the game. You think I just played that big game, you look up and that’s a big game. That’s a big game. They’re all big games to coaches.”
• Getting Clemson and Alabama in the first 2 weeks: ” I think when you have those kind of games in the early parts of the season, I think it makes your summer that much better. I think it gets your attention. They understand the competition level and what you come to…..It’s great that we play those two teams, the top two ranked teams in the first four games of the year. I think great teams, it’s not that your opponent becomes faceless, it’s not that you disrespect them; it’s just that you understand how you want to prepare. I’m hoping that’s the way our kids go about it.”
• Pressure:  “I think the pressure in today’s world, everybody wants instant gratification. Everybody wants things quickly. That’s just the world we live in. And that’s all part of this business, is dealing with that and putting things in place to do it.
  So what you can’t worry about, suppression, you can’t work about the results, you have to go through the process of doing things the right way. Because if you don’t set things up right, you’re never going to get the results. It’s like the foundation of a house. It may come up quickly, but it will fall quickly if the foundation is not there.”
• On leaving Florida State: “Like I said, I had no intentions of ever leaving there. It was very emotional. Very tight to those players and to the people in the community. Everyone there was wonderful to me, and I have nothing but respect and admiration for what they do and wish them nothing but the best in the future. It’s a tremendous place. It really is.”

ED ORGERON (LSU)

First things first, Coach O managed to use the word ‘excited’ about the word 401 times in his opening statement. It’s a new SEC record, and therefore a LSU National Championship. Ironically, there was  Twitter poll about whether Orgeron would be around this time next year. 71% said ‘no’. Tough crowd.

• On firing Matt Canada: “It’s tough when you make a mistake, but it’s even tougher not to admit you made a mistake and it’s just not a good fit. And I had to do the best what I thought was for the LSU program, and that’s why I did it.”
• On hiring new OC Steve Ensminger: “And just going through last year, some of the things that we went through, I felt that Steve and I would be on the same page. The players respect Steve. He runs more of the offense than I’m used to, an offense that we won championships with in the past….So a combination of all of those things. More comfortable with Steve. He’s able to adapt to the things that we want to do as a staff. I think he’s an excellent game day caller. He knows our players, and he’s a great recruiter…..A lot of people don’t though about Steve Ensminger as a recruiter, but he’s done a tremendous job in the Shreveport area and done a tremendous job this year recruiting quarterbacks.
• On adding QB Joe Burrow: “We felt that his knowledge of the game is able, his ability to run the offense, he can be a pro quarterback. He can run the football, extend plays if he has to, he’s very tough. He’s a leader….Overall he’s very smart, throws in anticipation and accuracy. We felt that he would add to the quarterback competition that we already have.
• On the LSU’s losing streak against Alabama: “Almost is not good enough against Alabama. But we feel that a couple of plays here and there and continue to be physically, we’re going to be right in there with them.”
• On the Georgia game: “Kirby did a great job with the Georgia Bulldogs, tremendous team, tremendous recruiting classes. They’re going to be a very tough opponent to play. But that night Tiger Stadium is going to be alive. It’s going to be loud. There will be a lot of tailgating. Should be a great college matchup in the SEC.”

MARK STOOPS (KENTUCKY)

No-one ever asked Stoops the question: “How in the hell did you managed to have nine players on the field in the last second against Florida?”, which annoyed me because his answer or look of rage could have been hilarious.

Stoops gave the best rallying call for his team before the Q&A started by saying: “We expect more. We’ve been close. We’ve done some good things. I’m proud of the work that we’ve done, that we look forward to making a big jump this year. We return some players with experience. We returned some talent. We returned some players that decided to forego the NFL and come back to do more, to play with a chip on their shoulder, to win some football games.” We kinda liked that. Hopefully the Wildcat marketing department will whack “We expect more” on some T-Shirts. Or maybe they do. It’s called Wildcat basketball. Anyway….

• On coaching in the SEC: “I think that made my heart drop. I can’t believe you mentioned that. That’s not a good feeling. I’ve only been here six years. And to have that kind of turnover, obviously, the way it is right now, it’s the sign of the times. There’s some very good football coaches that have come and gone through this league, and there’s a lot of good ones in here. But I think it just speaks to the league, and, believe me, the 14 schools, there’s not one school in here that wants to take a step back.”
• On beating Florida: “I’m going to get it a thousand times between now and that game. You know, my answer, first three or four years, I really wasn’t concerned about it. I’m trying to build a culture at Kentucky and win games and get in position, but you do hear it. You can’t hide from the elephant in the room. It’s been a long time. We need to beat Florida.”
• On RB Benny Snell: “Benny is certainly worthy of the hype that he gets because of his consistency. He’s done it in this league at Kentucky his first two years, and he spent over a thousand yards each of those years, and we look forward to him doing that again this year. Certainly he deserves to be in that kind of conversation.”
• On the SEC East: “There’s no doubt in my mind some of the teams in the east were ready to make a big jump.”
• On College Football free agency: “I don’t think any of us coaches are looking forward — we’re not looking forward to a form of free agency. I think all of us — I can’t speak for everybody. I don’t want to. I think the pulse of conversations is we’re not interested in going out and recruiting players from another team. Obviously it’s illegal, but you don’t want to turn it into another form of free agency. None of us want that. We are college coaches. We like developing these players and building your teams, and that’s the way I like to do it.”