There’s nothing more fun than a head coach returning to his former team. Especially when it’s the SEC, where there is probably going to be a little more than polite booing directed at Dan Mullen as he takes his Florida Gators to ClangaVille to face Mississippi State.

But other games are also intriguing on the SEC schedule. There’s LSU vs Ole Miss, which seems destined to be close even though Vegas thinking differently, and weirdly, Kentucky vs South Carolina because the Wildcats – right now – are the SEC’s Cinderella story. Then there’s the sorry tale of Tennessee, who have to travel to Georgia. Eesh.

Missouri has the week off.

So here we go with our SEC predictions:

1. Florida (-7.5) vs Mississippi State: Mississippi State looked great until they faced an actual defense last week, and then Nick Fitzgerald & Co looked completely out of sorts. This week they face a Florida defense that lost to the same Kentucky team, and was outplayed by the same Kentucky team, too. But this Florida team is starting to get things together offensively, and know how to play in a nasty environment (see their disposal of Tennessee last week (even though Tennessee is awful). I hope there will be crowd shots of fans giving Dan Mullen the middle finger. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 6 in a battle.
2. South Carolina vs Kentucky (-1): This isn’t a game I would have picked at the start of the year for one of the most intriguing games in the SEC’s season so far, but the way Kentucky is playing, it really is. Kentucky strangled the life out of Mississippi State in front of a mayhemic crowd at Kroger Field, and we expect South Carolina to be deafened by a similar wall. South Carolina’s offense is efficient without being spectacular, and will they be able to stop Benny Snell with a rushing defense that ranks 75th in the nation? PREDICTION: Kentucky by 10. 
3. Ole Miss vs LSU (-11.5): If the Tigers play as badly as they did for the first three quarters against Louisiana Tech, they are in trouble. The Tigers had 330 passing yards dropped on them by Tech last week, and Ole Miss Jordan Ta’amu and his wide receiving corps – which includes future NFL first-to-second rounders DJ Metcalf and AJ Brown – could do exactly the same. On the other hand – and we’ve mentioned this a lot – Ole Miss can’t play defense. They are 99th against the rush and 122nd against the pass. If LSU can create two or three stops, they’ve got this one in the bag. Maybe. Because it’s LSU. Prediction: LSU by an uncomfortable 14.
4. Arkansas at Texas A&M (-20.5): The only thing really funny about this game will be the look of Jerry Jones’ face when his former school gets stomped on by the Aggies in The House That He Built. Hell, at least Jerry will take home the parking fees. As a game, this is one that Arkansas fans had better turned up paralytic to. Prediction: Texas A&M by 30.
5. Tennessee vs Georgia (-31): The Bulldogs are a 31-point favorite and should cruise against a Tennessee side devoid of any hope or ideas right now. There doesn’t seem to be any pride in the Big Orange. Georgia fans won’t be satisfied with a win this year…..they’ll only be satisfied with an ass-stomping. And they’ll get one. Prediction: Georgia by 41.
6. Southern Miss vs Auburn (-27): Auburn was so bad last Saturday that I’ve got half a thought that Southern Miss – which averages about 38 points per game – might make this pretty fun. Jake Abraham, Southern Miss’ QB, is throwing TDs for fun, and Auburn’s D is hardly playing with confidence (see Arkansas game). Auburn a 27-pt favorite? Please. Prediction: Auburn by 10. Eventually. The locals won’t be happy.
7. Louisiana-Lafayette vs Alabama (-48.5): “I HATE THE MEDIA. I HATE VEGAS. THIS ULL TEAM’S A GOOD TEAM. WHY ARE WE 48-AND-DANGED-HALF POINT FAVORITES? THIS IS RAT POISON. THE KIDS DON’T NEED TO HEAR YOUR RAT POISON” – Nick Saban, giving waaaaay too much respect to ULL. Prediction: Alabama by 58. Most of them during the first half.
8. Tennessee State vs Vanderbilt: Yawn. PREDICTION: Vandy by 35.

A third of the college football season has gone (sniff!), and Alabama is looking absolutely unstoppable. On the other end, Tennessee and Arkansas are competing for the worst teams in the league, although at the most, Tennessee’s looking pretty good for that.

Anyway, here’s our thoughts:

1. Alabama (4-0): Unless they screw up mightly, this Alabama team is unstoppable. They are so talented, so well-coached, and so frightening. Their first game against anyone remotely good was close until it….wasn’t. Oh, and Tua should be getting his New York hotel tickets as soon as possible.
2. Georgia (4-0): It wasn’t pretty against Missouri in the least, but the Bulldogs came off victorious. Kirby Smart’s got to make sure this team keeps its focus, or things might get a little worrying for this young Georgia team.
3. Kentucky (4-0): A huge win against Mississippi State showed that Mark Stoops’ team is for real. Benny Snell is one of the best running backs in the SEC (even Bammerers might admit that), and Kentucky’s defense is awesome. Suffocating Nick Fitzgerald and MSU’s running game wasn’t difficult, but they managed it with ease. This is a team that no-one in the East should sleep on.
4. LSU (4-0): The Tigers sleepwalked through their victory against Louisiana Tech, but this is still a very solid team.
5. Texas A&M (2-2): Kellen Mond is an awesome QB, and Jimbo Fisher’s got this team rocking at the moment. No-one thought they would win at Alabama, but by God, they fought. Right now, we’d make them favorites against LSU and Auburn.
6. Auburn (3-1): We don’t understand the offense. We really don’t. If you do, please let us know.
7. Florida (3-1): The Gators rolled into a hyped Neyland Stadium, and took the wind out of Rocky Top’s sails almost immediately and then kept chomping. This will be an awkward team to play against come the latter part of the season.
8. Mississippi State (3-1): Get beaten up by Kentucky won’t be the worst thing in the world if Joe Moorhead can use it to kick his team’s butt into shape. But right now, this team that was meant to survive a brawl was outplayed all over the park, and there are more questions than answers.
9. Missouri (3-1): Missouri’s defense played out of its mind, while Missouri’s offense couldn’t get it done. Drew Lock is 2-19 against teams with winning records , and was limited by a great Georgian defensive philosophy of COVER EMMANUEL HALL. The bad news for the Tigers is is that they play Alabama pretty soon. The good news is is that this Missouri team isn’t that bad. Honestly.
10. South Carolina (2-1): The Gamecocks aren’t the most exciting team to play in the SEC, and probably won’t be the most effective. They are…..OK.
11. Ole Miss (3-1): We called the Rebels one of the most dangerous teams in the SEC because they had nothing to play for, but right now, they might want to just play with some sense of cohesion. Before they poured it on against Kent State, there was none.
12. Vanderbilt (2-2): While the loss at Notre Dame could quite easily have been a ‘W’, the Commodores turned up (or really didn’t) and laid a turd in a winnable game against South Carolina.
13. Arkansas (1-3): This team didn’t put in a terrible performance at Jordan-Hare, and still lost by over 20 points. Still, they aren’t the worst team in the SEC because….Tennessee
14. Tennessee (2-2): A hyped stadium. A glowing memory of a National Championship-winning season. All falls apart against your biggest rival. Welcome to Tennessee football, people.

WHO IMPRESSED THE MOST

Kentucky. The Wildcats will take the $100,000 fine for students rushing the field, and stick in your butt. Benny Snell ran for four touchdowns, the defense played elite against Nick Fitzgerald and an offense that was meant to be pretty good, and the ‘Cats played like heroes. After being the running joke of the SEC East in terms of their sheer knack of lacking consistency, Mark Stoops might be showing the joke is on the press, folks.

WHO DIDN’T IMPRESS

LSU and Auburn: LSU for sleepwalking against a team that mightily inferior, and Auburn was simply terrible against one of the worst teams in the SEC. With both of them facing Georgia and Alabama in the next 8 games, things do not bode well.

Did you hear the one about an unbeaten Kentucky? No, this isn’t a joke. First the Wildcats go to The Swamp and win for the first time in 31 years against the Gators, and then they taken on ranked Mississippi State and beat them too.

A lot of people will drone on about Alabama’s impressive victory over Texas A&M, but the simple question is this: When are they NOT impressive?

1. Kentucky: The victory over Mississippi State was fantastic. They ruined Mississippi State’s offensive all night long, and then put the game on Benny Snell’s back, who came away with four touchdowns. Kentucky is good, folks.
2. Alabama: It was close against Texas A&M until the Crimson Tide pressed their foot on the accelerator and were blown away. Nick Saban’s got the best offense he’s had in some years, and that’s saying something.
3. Florida: In front of a rocking atmosphere in Knoxville…. The Gators went and crushed Tennessee, dropping over 40 points and ensuring that Jeremy Pruitt was not going to have his first SEC victory on the 20th anniversary of UT’s 1998 National Championship (Tee Martin avoided the place because he was busy with USC).
4. Texas A&M: Battled with Alabama, and it looked good right until the Crimson Tide rolled off 10 straight points. Still, there seems to be a lot of goodwill towards the Aggies, who are going to be a thorn in Auburn and LSU’s sides. This could be the second-best team in the SEC West.
5. South Carolina: Carolina didn’t do a lot of things in a game that many thought they’d lose after Vanderbilt’s stirring loss at Notre Dame. Jake Bentley had 261 yards passing, Rico Dawdle had 112 yards rushing, and Carolina motored to victory.
6. Arkansas: Regardless of the scoreline, the Razorbacks outplayed Auburn in Jordan-Hare. This team end up being ‘beaten’ in the SEC this year, but Chad Morris’ team at least showed a little bit of promise.
7. Missouri: Again, this was a lot closer than the scoreline suggested. Not only should a field goal been given, but a Drew Lock throw hit a receiver’s helmet and became a TD. So why did they impress me with the loss? Because I thought having the Tigers down to lose by 30 was a little generous.
8. Georgia: Sometimes, it’s better to be lucky than good, and Kirby Smart’s team wasn’t good. This game was a lot closer than the scoreline suggested. They’ll cruise the SEC East, but we’ve got our concerns against Auburn and LSU if they continue to sleepwalk like this.
9. Auburn: Jarred Stidham threw for 134 yards on one of college football’s worst defenses. The rushing group had 91. If special teams hadn’t played well, how bad would this night have been?
10. LSU: The Tigers were only 24-21 up in the fourth quarter against Louisiana Tech. That’s how bad the Tigers were. Ed Orgeron wasn’t happy – even after the 38-21 victory. Nor would any LSU fan be. LSU sleepwalked, and it nearly cost them.
11. Vanderbilt: Remember when we thought Vanderbilt was ‘back’ after a scrappy loss to Notre Dame? Well, not anymore. Derek Mason’s still got a long way to go.
12. Mississippi State: Showed no invention in the least against Kentucky’s defense. Joe Moorhead’s philosphy of ‘run it at them’ didn’t work, and yet he tried it over and over again.
13. Ole Miss: No great points for beating Kent State. And the game was tied until the lightning came along.
14. Tennessee: Oh, dear Lord….

Two offensive players and one defensive one have decided to leave Gus Malzahn’s dressing room at Auburn in pursuit of better opportunities.

Junior WR Nate Craig-Myers and TE Jalen Harris have both decided to walk, spurred on by the fact that players don’t lose eligibility if they don’t feature in more than 4 games in a team’s season.

Craig-Myers, who had just 22 receptions for a total of 394 yards (and 4 TDs) will be walking away with his half-brother, DB Jayvaughn Mayers, who’s a back-up defensive back. He will interest schools because of his blistering speed. He’s averaged 17.4 yards per reception for the Tigers, and will be remembered fondly for touchdowns against Georgia and Alabama at the end of the regular season.

What is strange about Craig-Myers is that he didn’t ever seem to make the grade at Auburn. The four-star receiver came into The Plains drooled over as the sixth-best player at his position in the country, and the 45th best player. His numbers don’t seem to agree.

Harris, on the other hand, has 4 receptions and 33 yards receiving, and was used as a blocking TE.  He reportedly will seek a grad transfer.

At the start of August he was talked about as being Auburn’s next break-out receiver, yet had only 2 receptions this season. Reports seem to blame the production of frosh Seth Williams, who is seen as being a better player.

This week’s departures come after a raft of departures during the off-season.

For us, it was an excellent decision of Craig-Myers to leave. He’s a junior, and can have two seasons where he’s a top receiver, which in turn would help for the future should he seek to go to the NFL. If Craig-Myers was a freshman, we would be shrieking about his lack of want to fight for his place.

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On paper, it doesn’t look as though the most interesting Saturday in the SEC’s calendar. Alabama and Georgia are expected to both roll. In four out of eight of the games, the favourites are 20+ point favourites. In 6 of eight games, teams are double-digit favourites. Which leaves Florida’s trip to Tennessee and South Carolina’s game with Vanderbilt as the only (potentially) close games of the SEC Week, if Vegas is anything to go by.

Anyway, at least all the SEC games aren’t dumb non-conference games, unless you believe Arkansas should be in another conference…

So here we go (in order of interest from a College Football fan’s point-of-view, not a betting fanatic (although comes into it):

1. No.13 Mississippi State (-10) at Kentucky: Mississippi State looks like one of the class acts of the SEC, but Kentucky has certaintly been one of the most surprising. Fans of the SEC will enjoy watching the skills of MSU and Kentucky QBs Nick Fitzgerald and Josh Wilson, as well as RBs Benny Snell (Kentucky) and Kylin Hill (RBs). Both teams have good defensive lines and good offensive lines, too. This could come down to the wire in what will be a very noisy game in Lexington. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 7 in a classic. 
2. No. 22 Texas A&M at No.1 Alabama (-27): Can Texas A&M play as well as they did against Clemson? A lot of people think this one won’t be interesting after the third quarter, and some are even tipping it not to be interesting after half-time. Alabama’s 27-point spread seems a little generous, but the Tide has destroyed 3 spreads so far this year, so Vegas is worried. The bright spot for A&M could be the speed of A&M Kellen Mond. If the Aggies offensive line can hold up – they’ve already allowed 7 sacks this year. PREDICTION: Texas A&M gets what everyone expected. Alabama 45, Texas A&M 14.
3. Florida (-4) at Tennessee: As has been mentioned by pundits, this game will be a measure of how far both teams have come in their two new head coach’s short reigns. Both have reasons to be happy, although Tennessee will be a little happier because their loss to West Virginia was at least more predictable than the Gators’ loss at home to Kentucky. Jeremy Pruitt’s trying to balance his attack between QB Jarrett Guarantano and RB Tim Jordan, while Florida seems to have piled a lot of pressure on Feleipe Franks, who threw THAT Hail Mary to beat UT in 2017 in one of the most incredible-terrible games of the year. The game might not be great, but the atmosphere at Neyland should be phenomenal. PREDICTION: Tennessee by 3 in a huge upset.
4. Georgia (-13) at Missouri: Georgia’s widely predicted to coast against Missouri, but the most interesting part will be how Georgia deals with one of the best QBs in the country in Missouri’s Drew Lock. Lock also has receiving weapons in Emmanuel Hall, Albert Okwuegbunam, and that might open up the team’s run game. But Missouri (and we may have heard this before) has a poor secondary, and it’s likely that they’ll get torn apart by Mecole Hardman, as well as Georgia’s monster running backs. PREDICTION: This won’t be close. Georgia 42, Missouri 17.
5. South Carolina (-2.5) vs Vanderbilt: South Carolina has the benefit of last week’s game getting washed out against Marshall, while Vanderbilt has the benefit of the fact that they SHOULD have won the game at Notre Dame and are a hell of a lot better than a lot of people expected. Vandy QB Kyle Shurmur’s a real star, while South Carolina’s Jake Bentley-Deebo Samuel connection is serviceable when it’s not being covered (as Georgia did for vast amounts of the clash between the two sides, and kept him to just 33 yards on 6 receptions). This could be fun. PREDICTION: Vanderbilt by 4. 
6. Arkansas at No.9 Auburn (-30): This is the third straight home game for Auburn, but after the stunning home loss to LSU, the locals aren’t happy again with Gus Malzahn (ironically they weren’t too happy with him after 2017’s loss to LSU, either). On the other side, Arkansas fans – despite getting trashed by North Texas at home – are a little more patient with Chad Morris because he comes to town with a completely different offence than Bret Bielema’s. The problem for Morris isn’t necessarily the offense (although they are 62nd nationally) but the defense (100th nationally), which is leaking points like my car leaks oil. We don’t expect any different to happen against Auburn. PREDICTION: Auburn 48, Arkansas 10.
7. Louisiana Tech at No.6 LSU (-21): LSU is on roll with the whole ‘EVERYONE DANG HATES US TIGAHS’ tour, and Louisiana Tech is next in line. The LSU ‘thing’ for years has been LSU’s habit of sitting back and not playing well after a big win, but they might need to be on their game immediately to keep an offense that is dropping around 42 points/game at the moment, with RB Jaqwis Dancy (17th nationally in total rushing yds), and Tech WR J’mar Smith, who can definitely toss a ball up (he’s a little unpredictable though). We expect LSU to get ahead early, and control this one. PREDICTION: LSU 31, Louisiana Tech 10.
8. Kent State at Ole Miss (-28.5): Both teams got a combined total of 120 points dropped on ’em last week, so we’re not anticipating a particularly defense-orientated encounter. The problem for Kent State is that they ain’t good, and Ole Miss’ offfense is still one of the best in the nation, despite what the Crimson Tide did to them on Saturday. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 41.

Right, now we’re a quarter of a way through the season (sniff, sniff), we’re going to start our SEC rankings.

There’s no surprise who’s going to be No.1 and No.14, but in between…..(we apologise in advance)…

1. Alabama (3-0): While the most annoying thing about Alabama might well be the team’s head coach and his Napoleonic tendencies, the Tide’s way of evolving from a slow-moving ‘three yards and a cloud of dust’ offense to something that moves at such speed that Usain Bolt’s struggling to keep with it is awesome to watch. Although the opposition is hardly vaunted, the way the Tide managed to shut up a high-octane Ole Miss offense was highly impressive.
2. Georgia (3-0): The game that stood out for me that Georgia could well win the SEC Championship was this year, when the Dawgs absolutely dusted South Carolina at home. The Dawgs don’t even seem to hitting the heights of their talents, and yet they are looking really, really good.
3. LSU (3-0): Two Top 10 wins, both away from Baton Rouge. That’s pretty impressive for a team that was meant to be firing their head coach mid-season. Although we’re not entirely convinced of the Tigers’ offensive qualities (Joe Burrow is hardly the finished article), the defense is awesome.
4. Mississippi State (3-0): Joe Moorhead’s a damned good coach, and it’s helped with the on-field talent he’s got on the field. Nick Fitzgerald is gradually getting back to pre-Ole Miss 2017 levels, and the defense is sharp, too. This team could be scary in the SEC pack.
5. Auburn (2-1): A great coaching win against Washington and a coaching brain-fart against LSU making Gus Malzahn one of the most eyebrow-raising coaches in the SEC – again. Auburn itself is a run-stopping machine, but we don’t trust the secondary. On offense, it needs to be quicker. And we know Jarrett Stidham can play with that speed, too.
6. Texas A&M (2-1): The Aggies narrowly lost at home to Clemson and played their butt off. They’ve been unexpectedly strong in the first year of Jimbo Fisher’s reign. We don’t know how that will measure up with Alabama – but it might be pretty interesting.
7. Kentucky (3-0): Stunning at might seem to have Kentucky so high, they went to Florida and won the match-up for the first time in 31 years. Benny Snell is a workhorse and Terry Wilson makes up for his unpredictable arm with great legs. This might be one of the more underrated team in the SEC East.
8. Vanderbilt (2-1): I’m increasingly high on the Commodores because not only should they have beaten Notre Dame last week, but Kyle Shurmur’s an increasingly assured quarterback, and Derek Mason’s decision not to have anything to do with the offense seems to have paid off. By the evidence of that Notre Dame game, these guys could be pretty good.
9. South Carolina (1-1): Georgia and Hurricane Florence have beaten the Gamecocks two straight, and it’s not been nice in either match-up. Jake Bentley is a serviceable QB and Deebo Samuel is an awesome wide receiver, but has one of the most talked-about underdog in the country actually pretty ordinary?
10. Missouri (3-0): The offense is fantastic, and the defense isn’t great. As shown by the narrow win against Purdue (where the defense didn’t look great), Derek Dooley needs to use TE Albert Okwuegbunam and his RBs more, or Emmanuel Hall will simply get double-teamed and that’s going to frustrate Drew Lock. How Missouri will measure up in the SEC will start when Georgia rolls in. We’re not anticipating it to be other than ugly.
11. Florida (2-1): Florida’s loss at home to Kentucky doesn’t make me excited about this season, and Malik Davis’ injury won’t help the RB corps, either. If Dan Mullen is truly the QB whisperer, then ‘the whispered’ Feleipe Franks is having a pretty strong start.
12. Ole Miss (2-1): The offense was awesome to watch until it got hit by the Alabama freight train. But what will happen in future games if there’s a 3-and-out and Ole Miss have to defend? They’ll get crucified.  DC Wesley McGriff has told the press that he has accepted responsibility for the team’s loss. So why doesn’t Matt Luke take some responsibility and fire the guy?
13. Tennessee (2-1): After the (predictable) West Virginia loss, Jeremy Pruitt’s given UT some hope in Knoxville, but we’ll have some sort of idea whether they are actually any good against Florida on Saturday.
14. Arkansas (1-2): Here’s what we don’t understand: Chad Morris is one of the best offensive minds in the country. That’s well-known. So why hand over the whole offensive reigns to Craddock. If I’m Morris, I take over the QB coach responsibility or even more Craddock down to QBs and WRs, and move myself to OC. Desperate times, desperate measures. But right now, this team is bad, bad, bad.

OK, we failed to produce a prediction for Week 3 due to ‘technical difficulties’ (we stupidly forgot to press the ‘post’ button), so here were our predictions.

We said Auburn would beat LSU by 7. We said Alabama would beat Ole Miss by 21. We said Notre Dame would beat Vandy by 10. We said Missouri would beat Purdue 31-17. We thought Arkansas would be North Texas by 10, and Florida beating Colorado State by 24. We had Texas A&M, Georgia, Tennessee, and Kentucky waltzing away.

Straight up, we went 9-2. Against the spread, it was a little uglier.

Anyway, here we go after the mass celebrations in Baton Rouge and, er, Denton, TX (HOW ABOUT THAT TRICK PLAY?), here’s who we were impressed with after Week 3.

1. LSU: Another year, another crazy game against Auburn. The Tigers won out on a game-winning field goal, and although Auburn fans were enraged over a few pass interference plays, we think it was more due to the fact that their team couldn’t run on LSU’s defense, and Jarrett Stidham didn’t have his greatest day. Anyway, credit to Joe Burrow for the last drive – even though he wasn’t his best – and LSU’s defense looks beastly.
2. Alabama: The team’s they have faced may have been pretty ordinary, but Alabama’s racking up the points and looking fantastic all over the field. They took advantage of Ole Miss’ frailties and stopped the scoring machine. This team looks like the 2019 National Champion.
3. Vanderbilt: DEREK MASON DOESN’T WANT YOUR CHARITY. HE DOESN’T WANT YOU SAYING HOW WELL HIS TEAM PLAYED IN A LOSS. OK, Derek. But can we say that that if Vandy had executed properly the Commodores would have taken Notre Dame’s scalp back to Nashville?
4. Kentucky: The Wildcats are 3-0, and they are looking good, folks. And we’re not even comparing them to how bad the rest of the SEC East is yet, folks.
5. Georgia: In between playing to two powder-puff teams in Week 1 and Week 3 (this week’s the Bulldogs dismantled MTSU), Georgia ploughed South Carolina on the road. You might as well give them the SEC East title now, and the SEC Championship will be one hell of a game.
6. Mississippi State: Things keep on rolling under Joe Moorhead, and people are saying: “Wow, that Joe Moorhead’s a pretty good head coach”. Let’s not forget that he’s been a head coach before, so he’s used to dealing with egos (yes, it was only Fordham, but still). MSU’s is fun as hell to watch, too – as shown by the 56-10 wasting of ULL.
7. Auburn: We don’t understand why Gus Malzahn didn’t continue the ‘speed offense’ when the Tigers had the lead against LSU. It’s as though Malzahn WANTED to keep it close. I just don’t get it. On the other side, the defense is still looking strong – although the secondary could do with some work. Sorry boys, the refs got it right on Saturday.
8. Texas A&M: Dismissed Lousiana-Monroe easily, doing it through the air and on the ground. This team could give Alabama some problems this weekend….maybe.
9. Missouri: If you listen to the excellent Missouri podcast Mizzodcast, which seems to spend its time giving Barrett Sallee and the state of Kansas non-stop crap, you’ll know Missouri was awful in victory against Purdue. There is no trust for the secondary or the D-Line – especially when their best team is getting double-teamed. And the tide’s turning about OC Derek Dooley, too. Which doesn’t bode well for upcoming games against Georgia and Alabama, does it?
10. Florida: I don’t know if I should start to ‘buy into’ Florida’s offense after the Gators dismantled Colorado State, or dismiss it as a fluke after the home loss by Kentucky (or give the Wildcats either). While we won’t see how good the Gators are really until they play South Carolina, Georgia or LSU, we might see a glimpse against Tennessee.
11. Tennessee: The Vols are 2-1. So thanks, powderpuff teams who showed up to get thrashed. Next stop: Florida.
12. South Carolina: Got defeated by Hurricane Florence. So that’s the Dawgs and the wind that’s beaten the Gamecocks this season. FIRE WILL MUSCHAMP ALREADY!
13. Ole Miss: The defense is terrible, terrible, terrible. And when the offense doesn’t click, the Rebels are so freaking bad.
14. Arkansas: Getting crushed at home to North Texas isn’t a good look. Send ’em back to the Big XII. We’ll swap ’em for Texas, meaning we can get THAT rivalry back. Chad Morris seat isn’t remotely hot right now, but the locals are getting annoyed.

I know, it’s Wednesday and there’s already a college football game on Thursday, and we haven’t really got ourselves together to write our ‘Impressed/Depressed’ list.

That’s because half of this writer was doing other things, and half of this writer was asking himself: “What in the hell happened to Florida?”

Anyway, let’s get to the list. And congratulations to Mark Stoops and Kentucky for getting a giant-sized Gator off your back.

1. Kentucky: I would have killed to be a Kentucky fan in Gainseville on Saturday. Before the game I would have been given non-stop crap by full-grown men in jorts about how the Wildcats would ‘always’ be Gator bait. In the game a group of people – probably in jorts – would have turned to me and given me the Gator Chomp over and over again. Just to bug the crap out of me. And then we see our team win 27-16 in there, and the same dude in jorts who gave you crap all day is sitting there, wondering what the hell happened. 31-year STREAK’S OVER, BABY! (Oh, and Benny Snell’s a pretty good running back).
2. Texas A&M: We didn’t think they’d keep it particularly close against Clemson, but in the end, it came down a 2-pt conversion that didn’t take off. Everyone after the game wasn’t talking about Clemson, they were talking about Kellen Mond, who gave the Tiger defense hell through his legs. This Texas A&M will cause some worries for defenses this year.
3. Georgia: OK folks, I thought this showdown on CBS with South Carolina would be close. After the Dawgs walked away in the 3rd quarter, I turned it off and watched the ending of the Colorado vs Nebraska game, which was far more entertaining. What was so good about Georgia was although the game was pretty tight in the first half, the Dawgs always looked capable of hitting another gear. Carolina, not so much? There is only one winner in the SEC East, and it ain’t gonna come from Columbia.
4. Mississippi State: Over the years Manhattan, KS hasn’t been an easy place to play for big-time opponents, but MSU trucked the Wildcats, with Nick Fitzgerald coming through nicely. Kylin Hill’s a damned good running back, too.
5. Vanderbilt: We didn’t think Vandy would impress this much in the first two weeks of the year….but they did. We’re under no illusion that they’ll do well in South Bend next week, but Derek Mason’s decision NOT to coach the offense seems to be paying off.
6. Alabama: Arkansas State is actually a pretty good FCS team. Alabama is a really, really good FBS team. And that’s why Alabama beat the crap out of them. The Tide look absolutely unstoppable right now.
7. Missouri: The Tigers weren’t great in the first half, but were really great in the second. Emmanuel Hall is flat-out a better wide receiver than J’Mon Moore, who was meant to be missed this season. Right now Moore isn’t even surfing the bench in Green Bay. If Drew Lock can continue to hit his weapons, Missouri could make a shout in the SEC East.
8. Ole Miss’ OFFENSE: We love it! Can’t wait to see it on Saturday against Alabama!
9. Tennessee: Congrats to Jeremy Pruitt on getting your first win as a head coach.
10. LSU: WE JUS’ LOOKIN’ FORWARD TO THA’ AWWWBURRRN GAME THIS WEEK. GO TIGAHS! – ED ORGERON
11. Auburn: WE JUST LOOKING FORWARD TO THE LSU GAME THIS WEEK.  – GUS MALZAHN
12. South Carolina: When the only way to beat a really, really good team is to run an offense fast and you don’t do it, you’re going to get slaughtered. And South Carolina got slaughtered. At home.
13. Florida: For some reason the Gators were given a No.25 spot against a win against nobody in Week 1. They were awful against Kentucky, and deserved to lose. Maybe Dan Mullen might have to wait a year.
14. Arkansas: I’M SORRY TO ANYONE WHO PUT THEIR HOUSE AND KIDS ON ARKANSAS BEATING THE SPREAD AT COLORADO STATE. I HAD NO IDEA HOW BAD THE RAZORBACKS STILL ARE. I AM SO SORRY.
15. Ole Miss’ DEFENSE: Oh. Dear. Lord.

This weekend, the whole country is going to be concentrating on the Great State of South Carolina.

At 3.30pm the Devils from Georgia will roll into Columbia, and we’ll have to hear some terrible EDM music, and people will be screaming and whirling towels. And it will be noisy. Because Williams-Brice is noisy. CBS will be showing it, so you can always watch it on silent if you don’t like the commentators.

Then at 7pm Clemson rolls into Kyle Field to play the 12th Man, Jimbo’s friend and benefactor, and dog-worshippers Texas A&M who had a double-whammy last week when it beat Northwestern State and a couple of days later got to laugh at Texas losing to Maryland (and got to make lots of strip club jokes at the same time). The scene in College Station should be rocking pretty early with College Gameday on the scene, which undoubtedly will show you shots of the previous day’s ‘Midnight Yell. Oh, and the No.2 team in the country is coming to town.

Anyway, here are the games from the SEC in terms of interest for us:

1. Georgia (-10) at South Carolina: For some reason, everyone’s up on Will Muschamp and his Gamecocks. They love Jake Bentley and quite rightly love Deebo Samuel. Georgia rolls into Williams-Brice for its first real game of the season, so we don’t know what really to expect, apart from some efficient quarterbacking from Jake Fromme, and a hell of a lot of talent. This should be fun. And noisy. And the game that will decide the SEC East (probably). PREDICTION: Georgia to win by 7 in one of the best games there will be this year. 
2. Clemson (-12) at Texas A&M: For the life of me I can’t work out why Texas A&M is a 12-point underdog at home. Is A&M simply that bad? Listen, Clemson’s defense is for real.We know that. They’ve got four potential NFL first-rounders on that defensive line, but offensively, is Kelly Bryant really that good? And will the offense be able to adjust with having two QBs playing (Trevor Lawrence in the other guy (he’s quite good, actually). For A&M, we expect Kellen Mond to cause Clemson some problems with his feet, but it’s going to be all about the Aggies offensive line. PREDICTION: Clemson to shade it by 6. 
3. Kentucky at Florida (-14): Kentucky stunk it out in its win against Directional Michigan, throwing up four first half turnovers in the process. Florida beat Charleston Southern and is on its way to a National Championship. Seriously though, Kentucky stunk it out for a half and got its act together, and Florida probably isn’t going to a National Championship this year. We do, however expect them to beat Kentucky for 96th time in a row. PREDICTION: Chomped in The Swamp. Florida by 18.
4. Arkansas (-13) at Colorado State: This game interests me more than the Kansas State simply for the betting perspective. I can’t for the life of me understand why Arkansas is only a 13-point favourite over a Colorado State that has sucked for the best part of two games. The Rams have given up 88 points in its last two games, and an average of 606 yards/game. PREDICTION: Arkansas by 24. 
5. Mississippi State (-9.5) at Kansas State: While Mississippi State was rolling in its first game of the year, Kansas State was struggling with South Dakota. Both are 1-0, but the Bulldogs will be more rested when they roll into THE FAKE MANHATTAN (which is occupied by a wizardy type called Bill Snyder). And to make things happier for KSU, Nick Fitzgerald’s back with a point to prove. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 14. Easy. 
6. Nevada at Vanderbilt (-9): Vandy’s win wasn’t so much impressive from the point of view how much they mashed the spread, but for the fact that the Commodores looked very decent indeed. This week, it’s Nevada, who dropped 72 over lowly Portland State. The amazingly named Ty Gangi (Potheads on campus have already said: “How high will he go?”) might give Vandy a few fits early on, but we expect Derek Mason, and his own QB Kyle Shurmur to be fine. PREDICTION: Vandy by 14. 
7. Wyoming at Missouri (-17.5): Wyoming can’t stop the pass. We know this because Bombers are averaging 213.5 yards/game on its secondary. This week Wyoming also faces bombers, in the face of Drew Lock, and his WR corps led by Emmanuel Hall. The X-Factor? The weather. It’s meant to be terrible that night. PREDICTION: Regardless of the crappy weather predicted, this will be ugly. Missouri by 21. 
8. Arkansas State vs Alabama (-36.5): If there are any Alabama fans telling us how we should respect the Red Wolves, then please feel free to slap them in the face and say: “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?” Prediction: Roll Bama Roll. By 48. 
9. Southern Illinois vs Ole Miss: Last week Southern Illinois scored 21 points from turnovers, so the Rebels will want to watch out for that. But saying that, this ain’t Murray State. Ole Miss – with the best WRing corps in the nation – is going to be a lot of fun to watch this season, y’all. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 38. 
10. SE Louisiana vs LSU: If there are any LSU fans telling us how we should “respect the Lions”, then please feel free to slap them in the face and say: “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HOW MUCH BOURBON HAVE YOU HAD? IT’S ONLY 10AM?” PREDICTION: Grrr (for 1 quarter)….Snooore (for 3 quarters). LSU by 52. 
11. ETSU vs Tennessee: The good news for UT fans? The Vols played well for a half against West Virginia. Unfortunately, the Mountaineers coasted afterwards. Against ETSU we should see Jeremy Pruitt comfortably pick up his first victory as a head coach. PREDICTION: Tennessee by 48
12. Alabama State vs Auburn: This won’t be a let-down spot after the Tigers’ streetfight of a victory over Washington on Saturday. This won’t even be a game. Fun fact though: Alabama State beat a D-II school we’ve never heard of in overtime last week ((Tuskegee).  PREDICTION: Auburn by 60. 

LSU’s roasting of No.8 Miami, Auburn’s victory in a war against Washington, and Alabama’s brutal dismantling of Louisville (not to mention their coach’s brutal dismantling of an ESPN reporter) were all the most impressive things of Week 1. Tennessee was the only team in the SEC that lost – although that was helped by some ‘superb’ scheduling by ADs everywhere (yeah, the South Carolina vs Coastal Carolina game was always going to be a barnburner).

I’d like to note that for games 9-14 I was scrambling for reasons why I would be impressed. Hence why Tennessee’s so high. 

Anyway, which SEC team impressed the most on Week 1 of the CFB season?

1. LSU (1-0): The 33-17 dismantling of Miami was very impressive indeed. LSU fans saw their first competent QB in some years. The team has a RB in Nick Brossette who could reap the rewards of bench-sitting for 3 years. And the defense – which caused 2 turnovers and scored a TD – is pretty damned lively, too. Sure, it was helped by a Miami side who couldn’t stop getting penalties (11 of them for 85 yards), but this was a very good performance. Is Coach O off the hotseat now? No, but his Cajun butt just cooled a lot.
2. Auburn (1-0): The 21-16 Battle Royale at Atlanta broke Auburn’s ‘curse’ in the ATL, but this was a back-and-forth war that didn’t let up on the excitement from start to finish. Both sides got to the quarterbacks, but it was Auburn’s red-zone offense that came out victorious when it mattered. But for Tigers fans, this schedule barely lets up: The Tigers still have 4 monster game left in the next 11.
3. Ole Miss (1-o): They say that the most dangerous teams are those playing for nothing, and Ole Miss – thanks to its self-imposed bowl ban – is one of those teams. But if you’re a DC, good luck in trying to work out how to stop the best receiving corps in the nation that is as deep as it is good (DaMarkus Lodge, AJ Brown and DK Metcalf, Braylon Sanders). Jordan Ta’amu’s not a bad QB either. And although people might bitch and moan about Texas Tech’s defense, you gotta give this offense some credit. And the ‘D’ showed up, giving up just 10 second-half points.
4. Alabama (1-0): Alabama’s destruction of Louisville was what everyone expected. Alabama looks quicker than every team in college football. The receivers aren’t missing a beat since Calvin Ridley left. The defense is dominating and fast. Oh, and Tua’s one hell of a quarterback (see you later, Jalen!). As much as people might hate Nick Saban, he’s one hell of a coach. This team is formidable, folks.
5. Vanderbilt (1-0): This was always going to be a difficult game against MTSU with Vandy just 4.5 point favourites at gametime, but the Commodores came through to rout their opponents 35-7. Kyle Shurmur’s a good QB, but we’ll have to see how they stack up against the SEC opponents before taking Derek Mason off our hot seat just yet.
6. Arkansas (1-0): It was interesting to see how Arkansas might click after Bret Bielema’s firing, but they did just fine, beating Eastern Illinois 55-20 (they were up 38-6 at the half). On the evidence of Saturday, Ty Storey (who threw for 3 TDs) isn’t going to be a bad QB either.
7. Kentucky (1-0): After a poor first half, Benny Snell and the Wildcats came through to beat Central Michigan 35-20, with Benny Snell running for 125 yards and 2 TDs. But the killer for the Wildcats could have been turnovers- they committed four of them against a not-meant-to-be-great Central Michigan team. If they do that against Florida in The Swamp, Mark Stoops is going to continue that great Kentucky tradition of getting beaten by the Gators. So why are they this far up the list? Because at least UK played someone relatively OK.
8. Tennessee (0-1): The Volunteers shouldn’t be this high on the list by a lot of people’s standards, but I come with this: The game was 13-7 at half-time. Things unravelled after the long time-delay after that, but Tennessee at least showed some gumption.
9. South Carolina (1-0): Deebo Samuel’s highlight reel catch is the only reason why the Gamecocks are even this far up the list.
10. Texas A&M (1-0): I predicted A&M would beat Northwestern State by 52. I was right. I’m going to mention this a lot this year.
11. Florida (1-0): We haven’t really heard of Charleston Southern, but at least the Gators’ offense looked OK. You know, against Charleston Southern.
12. Georgia (1-0): Hammered Austin Peay and kept the shut-out. Yawn.
13. Missouri (1-0): Hammered UT-Martin, and Drew Lock looked good. Yawn.
14. Mississippi State (1-0): Great for a team missing its starting QB by tuning up against Stephen F. Austin. And boy, did they tune up Stephen F. Austin.
15. Nick Saban: Being straight-up rude to a reporter after your team has dismantled their opponent isn’t a good look. Bullies don’t like being questioned about things, and so when Maria Taylor asked him about the QB farce that he’d helped cause (and keep Jalen Hurts from transferring which in turn will probably ruin the rest of Hurts’ college career), he exploded.