Every year it seems, people will want to know whether anyone will unseat the immovable objects.

In the college football, those unmovable objects are routinely Clemson and Alabama. Last year it was the same, until LSU actually proved what can happen when you get a good quarterback, some future NFL first round wide receivers, and an excellent offensive coordinator, which in one season undid the ole cliche always attributed to the Tigers which was “They’ve got the talent, but they are perennially disappointing”.

This year, the objects will be a bit different. We don’t know how many practices each team has managed. We don’t know what what how many have contracted COVID-19 and when, because they aren’t about to let the opposition get the upper hand. We don’t know if any of the players who have recovered from COVID-19 are seeing ongoing effects.

We also can make presumptions- particularly in the SEC West – about two starting quarterbacks (Texas A&M and Auburn), but the rest is somewhat of a mystery, with the biggest coming at Bryant-Denney.

Anyway, so here’s our predictions.

1. Alabama (10-0)

The Tide will be quarterbacked by Mac Jones, who beat out Bryce Jones to Nick Saban’s graces after a highly-competitive camp. Jones will have the luxury of two future first-round picks to throw to in Jaylen Waddle or DeVonta Smith, or they can hand the ball off to Najee Harris or pass it to a mixture of Trey Sanders (formerly the No.1 running back in the nation and he’ll be back from a foot injury) or Brian Robinson Jr. Defensively, Dylan Moses is going to be the star.

Schedule: Missouri (A), Texas A&M (H), Ole Miss (A), Georgia (H), Tennessee (A), Mississippi State (H), LSU (A), Kentucky (H), Auburn (A), Arkansas (H)

Our prediction: With the offensive firepower they’ve got and the defense that’s going to be fine if not utterly elite, it wouldn’t be surprising for us if the Tide are involved in some high-scoring games. And they’ve got the weapons to do that. The big game to watch out for will be Georgia, but otherwise, Alabama should win out.

2. Auburn (8-2)

Auburn’s QB problem is pretty settled, with Bo Nix getting the job. Auburn returns a lot of talent on both sides of the ball. WR Anthony Schwartz is going to be the most exciting of them. He’ll be backed by Eli Stove, Seth Williams, and 4-star freshman Kobe Hudson. Defensively, DL Big Kat Bryant and LB KJ Britt are both preseason all-SEC picks. There are problems in the fact that Auburn had such a problem with COVID-19 that they had a whole week without practicing, and it will be interesting to see what happens to the team. And although Auburn returns a lot of offensive linemen from last year, they all don’t have the experience of their competitors.

Schedule: Kentucky (H), Georgia (A), Arkansas (H), South Carolina (A), Ole Miss (A), LSU (H), Mississippi State (A), Tennessee (H), Alabama (A), Texas A&M (H)

Our Prediction: Although we can imagine Auburn going 6-1 to start the season (losing to Georgia), down the stretch it’s a pretty mean one with games against Tennessee, Alabama and Texas A&M. We think they’ll go 2-1, but it wouldn’t be surprising to see 1-2.

3. Texas A&M (8-2)

I actually had the Aggies finishing second in the West until news broke that its best wide receiver Jhamon Auborn and junior LB Anthony Hines both opted out, which hasn’t helped matters as back-up QB James Foster, senior CB Elijah Blades, and junior DB Derrick Tucker also did the same earlier in the season. Now, I’m not confident about this season, so – like is the case with Auburn and LSU too, this is merely a big swish. What we do know is that the Aggies offensive line is going to be one of the strongest in the West, which should help young RB Isaiah Spiller and speedster Ainias Smith. Kellen Mond is a fun quarterback, too.

Schedule: Vanderbilt (H), Alabama (A), Florida (H), Mississippi State (A), Arkansas (H), South Carolina (A), Tennessee (A), Ole Miss (H), LSU (H), Auburn (A).

Our Prediction: This is a pretty successful year for Jimbo Fisher’s squad, with his young team – packed full of froshes and sophs, score major victories over Florida and LSU this season, while the two losses are against the two teams from Alabama.

4. LSU (6-4)

LSU’s stunning National Championship win was supercharged by an offense that had everyone clapping. But now, the cupboard is pretty bare. Although LSU has just announced Myles Brennan will be starting quarterback, the one receiver who has major experience in that corps will be Terrace Marshall Jr, who had 671 yards receiving and 13 TDs last year. That’s not to say the cupboard will be bare, because LSU recruits and recruits well. On the other side of Marshall will be five-star freshman Kayshon Boutte, the No.2 WR in the nation. Chris Curry and Tyrion Davis-Price will be charged with leading the line at RB, and he’s got no real experience either. Defensively, the secondary will be solid (Derek Stingley and JaCoby Stevens) enough, and the line has been boosted by the return of Neil Farrell Jr.

Schedule: Mississippi State (H), Vanderbilt (A), Missouri (H), Florida (A), South Carolina (H), Auburn (A), Alabama (H), Arkansas (A), Texas A&M (A), Ole Miss (H)

Our Prediction: It’s easy to conceive of LSU winning the easy ones, and losing the hard ones (Florida, Auburn, Alabama and Texas A&M), because the team is so inexperienced. In fact, I’d be shocked if they were favoured against any of the aforementioned sides, and it’s very possible they go 0-4. This is going to be a rollercoaster for LSU fans, but don’t expect miracles.

 

5. Ole Miss (4-6)

Lane Kiffin can really run an offense, so it should be fascinating to see what he does with projected starter Matt Corral or John Rhys Plumlee. He’s got a good if not amazingly spectacular running back pairing in the excellently-named Snoop Connor and Jerrion Ealy. Prepare to be excited by RB Henry Parrish, too. Elijah Moore will be the big name as a wide receiver, but there will also be some focus on TE Kenny Yeboah, a transfer in from Temple who caught for over 500 yards in his time there. He also returns four starters from last year on the O-Line, but the O-Line wasn’t that good last year.

Schedule: Florida, Kentucky (A), Alabama (H), Arkansas (A), Auburn (H), Vanderbilt (A), South Carolina (H), Texas A&M (A), Mississippi State (H), LSU (A)

Our Prediction: It’s not going to beautiful in Oxford, but 4 wins (Vandy, Arkansas, South Carolina, Mississippi State) is a probability, although we can also see them frighten the life out of a couple of teams. There will be some good grass roots.

6. Mississippi State (2-8)

We love Mike Leach’s brain, and we love his press conferences even more. His recruitment of KJ Costello as a transfer QB is a fantastic move (we’d go as far as saying it’s the transfer of the year). Costello will be helped by excellent running back Kylin Hill, who ran for 1,350 yards and 10 TDs. It will make quite the change from Leach’s usual offenses which are pedal-to-the-metal, and very pass-orientated. We can’t wait to see how Alabama transfer WR Tyrell Shavers will fit into this offense, which will also feature Osirus Mitchell, Caleb Ducking and most intriguingly JUCO transfer Malik Heath.

Schedule: LSU (A), Arkansas (H), Kentucky (A), Texas A&M (H), Alabama (A), Vanderbilt (H), Auburn (H), Georgia (A), Ole Miss (A), Missouri (H)

Our Prediction: MSU’s schedule is absolutely savage. The Cowbellers will face LSU and Alabama on the road, as well as Georgia and Kentucky. Winnable games are Vanderbilt and Arkansas, and if Missouri’s really bad, then No.3 will be the last game of the season.

7. Arkansas (0-10)

Sam Pittman’s first year in charge is not going to be an easy one. While Feliepe Franks coming in as a transfer QB from Florida might be a great headline, what will Franks be working with? For one, Rakeem Boyd is a terrific running back who will cause defenses problems – if the offensive line helps him out. And he’ll also catch some of Franks’ passes, too. But as horrible as this may sound, the cupboard’s still pretty bare. Sure, Pittman’s brought in talent for the 2020 class, but it’s still way behind the rest of the SEC West, although a little bit better than Vanderbilt’s.

Schedule: Georgia (H), Mississippi State (A), Auburn (A), Ole Miss (H), Texas A&M (A), Tennessee (H), Florida (A), LSU (H), Missouri (A), Alabama (H)

Our Prediction: If any of you can recognise a truly winnable game for me on this schedule, then please let me know.

It wasn’t the greatest season of SEC games, but it was a great season to be an SEC fan. Whether it was the sheet craziness of the Alabama vs Auburn game (we’re still trying to work out how it all unfurled) to the rip-your-nose-off atmosphere in Athens for the visit of Notre Dame to the manic upsets involving Tennessee, it was fun.

Here you can re-live your favourite SEC games. Some of them full-length, other of them simply highlights.

Happily, not all of these have Gary Danielson commentating. 

1. Alabama at Auburn

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ALL THE CRAZINESS.

2. LSU at Alabama

FOR JOE BURROW.

3. Oregon vs Auburn (Neutral Field)

FOR THE MOMENT THAT YOU LIKED BO NIX BEFORE YOU HATED HIM BEFORE YOU LOVED HIM AGAIN

4. LSU at Texas

FOR A HELL OF A LOT OF OFFENSE

5. Georgia State at Tennessee

FOR SHEER COMEDY. IN ORANGE.

6. South Carolina at Georgia

 

FOR GEORGIA DOING GEORGIA.

7. Ole Miss at Mississippi State

FOR DOG PISS

8. BYU at Tennessee

FOR ALL THE MORMONS

9. Kansas State at Mississippi State

FOR GARRETT SCHRADER, FUTURE OLYMPIAN

10. Notre Dame at Georgia

FOR GREAT NIGHT ATHENS ATMOSPHERE AND THE START OF A LIGHT FIGHT

11. Texas A&M vs Arkansas. 

FOR NO PANTS

12. Cal vs Ole Miss

FOR CLOCK MANAGEMENT 101, TAUGHT BY LES MILES

 

13. Missouri at Wyoming

FOR HORSES

14. Tennessee at Indiana

FOR A BAD-ASS BOWL GAME

15. Appalachian State vs South Carolina

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KEEP TELLING PEOPLE NOT SCHEDULE FRICKING APPY STATE

16. Florida at Kentucky

FOR KYLE TRASK LOVERS

17. Florida at LSU

 

FOR KYLE TRASK LOVERS. FOR ATMOSPHERE LOVERS. FOR LOVERS OF CHRIS FOWLER SAYING: “THE BAYOU” A LOT.

 

18. Missouri at Vanderbilt

FOR VANDERBILT DOING SOMETHING WEIRD.

19. Auburn at LSU

FOR DERRICK BROWN AND JOE BURROW.

20. Western Kentucky at Arkansas

FOR TRAINWRECKERY, BROUGHT TO YOU BY ARKANSAS

 

 

 

LSU has hired former St Louis Rams head coach Scott Linehan to be its new passing game coordinator.

Linehan will replace Joe Brady, who put together a stunningly brilliant offense, won the SEC and then the National Championship in convincing fashion. Brady is now the offensive coordinator at the Carolina Panthers, where he will work for former Baylor head coach Matt Rhule.

Linehan is hardly the young mind that Brady was. He’s had a 30-year career both at NFL and college level

Linehan started in 1989 with Idaho before moving onto Washington and Louisville, before he landed a NFL job as OC for the Minnesota Vikings and the Miami Dolphins, before becoming the head coach of the St Louis Rams between 2006 and 2008. He then went back to being the Detroit Lions OC, before coming to JerryWorld to be the Dallas Cowboys’ passing game coordinator 2014 and then offensive coordinator between 2015 and January 2019.

What will be slightly worrisome to LSU fans is that Linehan’s adjustment back into college football, where the hours are worse, and most of them are taken not only coaching but sucking up to 16 year-old high school stars in an effort to get them to play big-time SEC Football. He hasn’t done that in 19 years. Then there’s also the fact that Linehan hasn’t had a job in the SEC before, which has certainly irked some in the past.

That’s not to say that Linehan hasn’t worked with SEC products in the passing game, though, having spent time with Dak Prescott (Mississippi State) and before that Matt Stafford (Georgia). Both of them will bring the pedigree that QB recruits will see.

The biggest thing that Linehan will be replacing Joe Burrow. Myles Brennan will be the frontrunner for the job, although dual-threat QB Peter Parrish, who arrived in 2019, as well as four-star Max Johnson from Georgia and 3-star Louisiana resident TJ Finley who came along in the 2020 class are also in the hunt.

Linehan will bring a small battery of excellent receivers back, with J’Marr Chase and Terrace Marshall Jr leading the way.

He will work with current OC Steve Ensminger. The news comes hot on the heels of LSU’s hiring of Samford OC/quarterbacks coach Russ Callaway as an analyst, Tyler Tettleton, who held the job of former quality control on offensive with the Cleveland Brown on the offensive side. Tettleton was also a grad assistant under Lincoln Riley before getting a scout job with the New York Jets and then Cleveland the year after.

The ‘Geaux Tigers’ and ‘Perfect’ newspaper front pages have long been picked up from Bourbon Street. The smell of vomit and stale alcohol still remains, but that’ll be covered up when another big party comes along this weekend. The ladies of the night are all driving Escalades now after the joyful celebrations of the Cajun many, and somewhere a story will emerge that a liver-affected Louisianan did try and hatch out of a plan to, er, visit one of Louisiana’s best-known striped friends to cap off one of the best season’s college football has ever seen.

It seemed funny that the headline-stealer for the offseason was not the person who (probably) tried to play Dr Dolittle with Mike, but Odell Beckham Jr, who behaved on a whole other planet of weird after the National Championship Game.

One of Death Valley’s favorite sons, OBJ was badly underused by Les Miles. He came away with 2,340 yards and 12 touchdowns in his three-year career in the Bayou, and deserved a hell of a lot more. The same could be said for his teammate, Jarvis Landry. Both are playing with decidedly overrated QB Baker Mayfield. OBJ seems to be trying to work out ways of getting out of Cleveland or at least, pissing off the fanbase. He did that on Monday by yelling about how it was happy that LSU won, and not Ohio State.

But that wasn’t even half of it. Not satisified with giving LSU players Beats headphones before the Play-Off semi-final win against Oklahoma, and presumably after consuming PCP and rocket fuel during the game, Beckham – who was also videoed taking the team band’s microphone and yelling stuff on there – rocketed out from the sidelines and started aggressively putting dollar bills into players hands.  There was a claim that it wasn’t actually real money, but it was none other than Joe Burrow who put his teammates under the bus. ““I’m not a student-athlete anymore, so I can say yeah,” he told Barstool Sports. LSU has immediately said it was working with the NCAA to rectify the situation, and probably to make the handing out of cash gifts to players more subtle next time.

Then, in the locker room, with the victory cigars smoking to such an extent you could have mistaken the Tigers’ locker room for a student hotbox convention, a Barney Fife police officer decided that he’d had enough of this miscreant behaviour, and told freshman offensive lineman Kardell Thomas that it was an offense smoking in a locker room. Odell Beckham Jr could also be seen in the shot slapping the cop’s behind. A warrant has now been issued for his arrest.

You truly couldn’t make this up.

Amid all the furore and headline-stealing of their former wide receiver, there came some major news in the form of Joe Brady. 

The creator of the Lazarus of Death Valley had decided that he was going to go back to the NFL, deciding to join Matt Rhule’s staff at Carolina as offensive coordinator. Because of his amazing season that made him a household name in football as well as his age, Brady will get lots of limelight and won’t have to worry about selling the school to 16 year-olds with attitude. Or have to take guidance from Odell Beckham Jr. Lucky him.

Oh, and then some major parts of the team left, too, with seven underclassmen (so far) declaring for pastures professional.

After expunging horrific memories of his brother in Baton Rouge, superstar WR Justin Jefferson is gone, so is safety and captain Grant Delpit and one of the most underrated-yet-superb running backs this season, Clyde Edwards-Helaire. All three will be first or second round NFL Draft picks. Star tight end Thaddeus Moss has also said he’s leaving, too.

Center Lloyd Cushenberry, LB/DB Patrick Queen, OT Saadiq Charles, and LB Jacob Phillips have all decided to leave the goldfish bowl, too.

There’s been a meme going around of Ja’Marr Chase standing in the middle of a house, looking around, wondering where it has all gone after the news came through. It wouldn’t be a total surprise if Chase throws and receives for 3,000 yards and 25 TDs as part of the new offensive philosophy: Throw to thyself.

It couldn’t be any stranger than Beckham Jr’s actions, after all.

(Oh, and one quick addition: Defensive coordinator Dave Aranda’s about to pick up the head coaching job at Baylor, too….(POSTNOTE: HE WAS HIRED BUT BAYLOR’S ONLY PLAYED TWO GAMES BECAUSE OF ROLLING COVID CASES)

—

October 24th 2020

Since writing this piece, things have actually gotten even crazier.

• Ed Orgeron signs six-year, $42 million extension with LSU.
• WR Ja’Marr Chase opts out of the season. 
• Ed Orgeron divorces his wife of 23 years Kelly on February 26th. In the petition for the divorce it said that he had “lived seperately from Kelly from February 24th”, and then got the divorce on February 26th. That’s a quick way to patch up those differences, Ed.
• 30 players get quarantined because of hitting up a club or two in late June, causing a number of positive tests.
• LSU loses to Mississippi State in its home opener PLAYING ABSOLUTELY NO DEFENSE. It wouldn’t be too bad, if Mississippi State had run the table since. They haven’t won since.
• LSU beats world-beaters Vanderbilt.
• LSU loses to Missouri AND PLAYS ABSOLUTELY NO DEFENSE.
• LSU fans wondering if a 1-9 season is actually possible this year (CLUE: IT IS).
• LSU’s game with Florida is postponed to December 12th because Dan Mullen can’t seem to take COVID-19 seriously.
• LSU bans Odell Beckham Jr for 2 years from going anywhere near LSU property for handing out the money.
• Oh, and there’s also a case where a condemned fraudster/LSU booster (he went to jail in 2019) said that he gave money to former LSU O-Lineman Vadal Alexander. LSU said that they will cut out some recruiting time, and 8 scholarships (4 next year, 4 the year after). There is the hope that Les Miles getting fired and Joe Alleva getting moved away from the AD’s position because of LSU basketball head coach Will Wade’s much-publicised indiscretions might help matters (they forget that Miles was ‘canned because of money donations to players, he was fired because he was a crappy coach).
• Photos are leaked on social media of Ed Orgeron with another model.
• Freshman TJ Finley in as QB because incumbent Myles Brennan was beaten to within an inch of his life by Missouri’s vaunted front.

 

 

 

The College Football Play-Off is upon us on Saturday, and we’re all quite excited. After arguments over neutral site bowl games, losses to South Carolina/Arizona State/Kansas State, it’s all set in place, and 4 winners of 4 conferences are in the four semi-finals. As usual – it seems – the best team is being left out in Oregon, but that’s due to their self-shooting at Arizona State, so no sympathy there.

But we’re here now, and it’s LSU, Ohio State, Clemson and Oklahoma who will battle it out for the National Championship on January 13th.

On December 28th LSU will face off with Oklahoma and Ohio State will play Clemson.

The one that’s being talked about offensively is the LSU vs Oklahoma game. It features two gamechanging quarterbacks in Heisman Winner Joe Burrow, and Oklahoma QB Jalen Hurts. There is also a ton of receiving talent, but ‘feature film’ guys J’Marr Chase (LSU), Justin Jefferson (LSU) and Ceedee Lamb (Oklahoma). Burrow has excellence out of the backfield in Clyde Edwards-Helaire, although there are some who are worried about the decision to play him come game-time. On Oklahoma’s side they’ve got Kennedy Brooks, who’s an ample-enough running back but still not in the league of Tre Sermon, who went down in the Iowa State game with a knee injury and will never return.

On the other end of spectrum, Oklahoma is suffering- particularly with news that DE Ronnie Perkins has been suspended. However, first-round junior Kenneth Murray, who has led the team with 95 tackles, is still a star that LSU should be looking out for. If Cedee Lamb is covered up – which could very well happen on Saturday – then Hurts could face a gaunlet of an every-improving secondary, featuring future first-rounder Grant Delphit, who is fit again.

The biggest key to the game, if we’re honest, isn’t Burrow. We’re confident that Burrow will happily put up big numbers backed up by the insanely good offensive strategy put forward by Joe Brady. Oklahoma  – despite its improvement under Alex Grinch – aren’t a particularly great team. The biggest key to the game is Jalen Hurts.

Hurts is incredible at changing games with his feet (he’s quicker than Burrow), and his escapability has accounted for 1,255 yards and 18 trips to the end-zone. He’s also thrown for 32 touchdowns and only given up 7 interceptions – a big reason why he was second in Heisman voting this year.

All that is good, right? Well…..the only way that Oklahoma can keep up with LSU if Hurts doesn’t do something stupid. He has a capacity to turn over the ball, and there has been at least one of his efforts in the red-zone that have missed his own player and gone into a grateful defender’s arms. If he does that against LSU, then this one will get ugly. Quickly.

Anyway, here’s the prediction:

LSU 41, Oklahoma 21

 

 

For once people are talking about what this blog has been ranting about all season long: LSU’s defense is utter crap. They were shredded by Texas, Florida and Alabama – all of which were good teams – so we’ll grant them that. The secondary – the self-proclaimed ‘DBU’ throughout the season hasn’t been great.

And it was all shown up on Saturday against Ole Miss.

LSU won because their offense was a little better than Ole Miss’ in the Tigers’ 58-37 victory, but the defense gave up SIX HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN YARDS, including 400 on the ground. We’ll say it again, 400 yards on the ground. The defensive line never hurried John Rhys Plumlee and Matt Corrall, and they totalled just 5 tackles-for-loss. The defense look unmotivated, almost to the point of not cared.

Joe Burrow pointed out that he couldn’t understand why a team that put up 700 yards was mad in the locker room. Well Joe, because if LSU’s defense plays like that in the SEC Championship Game, it’s got problems. If it comes against Ohio State or Clemson in the College Football Play-Off, it’s definitely got problems.

No-one can stop them and they sure as hell can’t stop you. So they are a Big XII team. 

Ranking the SEC teams with :

–—- RIGHT HERE ARE THE SEC ELITE TEAMS —– 

1. Georgia (9-1): Helped by some awful refereeing, Georgia battled through an excellent Auburn defense to win 21-14. It was looking much more comfortable than that until the Bulldogs suddenly decided to give Bo Nix time to throw – which he did, connecting with a few receivers. Georgia doesn’t have a wonderful offense, but in the SEC Championship Game we expect DeAndre Swift to run roughshod. And the Bulldogs have enough good defense to stop LSU. All we are thinking is: “Don’t play zone. Don’t play zone. Don’t play zone.”
2. LSU (10-0): LSU IS A BIG 12 TEAM.
3. Alabama (9-1): Tua’s done for the year. It won’t matter next week, but it will in the Iron Bowl. Still Mac Jones and Bo Nix look fair fights. In fact, we’d take Mac Jones.
4. Florida (8-2): The Gators rolled past Missouri in the second half. These jort-wearers are looking good (unlike their teeth).

—-RIGHT HERE IS LEAGUE OF THE TWO BEST THREE-LOSS TEAMS IN THE COUNTRY—–

1. Auburn (7-3): THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY. Seriously though, what did that defense do to deserve an offense like that? And even when Gus Malzahn dialled up the perfect play, Bo Nix couldn’t execute. I still don’t understand why Joey Gatewood wasn’t given more of an opportunity.
2. Texas A&M (7-3): USED TO BE THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY. The classiest moment in college football this season happened in Kyle Field on Saturday night, when the Texas A&M crowd held up three fingers to acknowledge the death of South Carolina QB’s Ryan Hilinki’s brother Tyler. And even cooler? At Midnight Yell the day before the A&M cheerleaders asked the fans to honor the player the day beforehand.

—- RIGHT HERE IS THE LEAGUE OF ORDINARY—-

1. Tennessee (5-5): Beat bye week, which gave Tennessee fans nothing to yell at. It was a strange day in the Appalachians.
2. Kentucky (5-5): Eviscerated Vanderbilt. Lynn Bowden Jr might be going back to wide receiving duties next year, but right now he’s playing well. Kentucky’s SEC schedule is over (3-5), but they can still get to a bowl game with one win over either UT-Martin and Louisville. Quite frankly, it should be two.

—– RIGHT HERE IS THE LEAGUE OF STINKY EGGINESS—— 

1. Ole Miss (4-7): Ole Miss couldn’t stop LSU, but LSU couldn’t stop Ole Miss. It was a fun game played in a terrible atmosphere. The Egg Bowl will bring all the hatred back on Thanksgiving, though, when we watch two terrible teams throw crap at each other. The one who has least faeces on his uniform wins.
2. Mississippi State (4-7): A win over bye week means that no-one blamed Joe Moorhead for the loss.

—- RIGHT HERE IS THE LEAGUE OF ROTTING GARBAGE—-

Warning: This is a much of a muchness. South Carolina are No.1 because they beat Georgia. 

1. South Carolina (4-7): Again, looked utterly inept against Texas A&M – not helped by the loss of star WR Bryan Edwards. Will Muschamp’s staying for another year. Here’s to hoping in the meantime the Gamecocks for him to can Bryan McLendon, the team’s OC.
2. Vanderbilt (2-8): The Commodores are so bad. And still thumped Missouri a couple of weeks’ ago.
3. Missouri (5-5): Got soundly beaten by Florida. The Tigers last scored a touchdown in the third quarter of the 29-7 loss at Kentucky. Two-and-a-third games ago. Why are they the second-worst team in the SEC right now? Because it seems that the team’s downwards trajectory can’t be stopped. Barry Odom still needs a win from Tennessee and Arkansas to make a bowl game. And quite frankly, we can’t see it against Tennessee.

—- ON THEIR OWN GODDAWFULLNESS

Arkansas (2-8): ‘Nuff said. Still, with LSU’s defense they could score 14-21 points next Saturday.

 

It’s hard not be excited about this weekend’s clash between LSU and Alabama in Tuscaloosa.

College Gameday’s excited. CBS is excited. The SEC is excited. The 100,000 fans who are going to be there are excited, plus the thousands who are going to be tailgating. The College Football Play-Off Committee – who voted LSU No.2 and Alabama as No3 – is excited.

Oh, and Donald Trump’s excited. He just loves college football, man, he’s not there for political capital or anything.

This is going to be a showdown of offenses. Both are sizzling right now. Joe Burrow and Tua Tagovailoa have got their offenses on afterburn, helped by explosive future NFL wide receivers on both sides. The defenses? Both have looked a little porous, although with Alabama it’s been the ‘bend but don’t break style’, while LSU’s gone for the Big XII-style “Shoot, we’ll just outscore ’em” style.

To give the stats, LSU has the 4th-best offense in the nation, averaging a tidy 46.8 points per game. Alabama has had 48.6 points per game (ranking second). Alabama has given up 122 points to LSU’s 160, and a lot of people will point that a vast majority of Alabama’s points-concessions happened during junk time when the Tide were already gazillions of points in front.

LSU has faced by far and away the better teams, with a trip to then-Top 10 team Texas followed by monster home games against Florida and Auburn. Alabama can point to winning at Kyle Field, and, er, battles against South Carolina and Tennessee.

Joe Burrow has been talked about as the nation’s leading Heisman contender, throwing for 2,805 yards and 30 TDs this season. He’s been helped by a spread offense that’s finally using some of the best athletes in the land – a stretch away from the previous historical incompetencies that made Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr almost sideshows a few years ago. His weapons – Justin Jefferson (819 yards, 9 TDs) and Ja’Mar Chase (749 yards, 9 TDs) have both been deadly, but Terrance Marshall (333 yards, 7 TDs) and Thaddeus Moss have also contributed heavily. Oh, and RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire (808 yards, 8 TDs) can fly too.

But all the talk is the injury to Tua, who has banked 2,166 yards and 27 TDs so far this season. The QB injured his ankle against Tennessee and consequently needed ankle surgery. We don’t know what his progress is, but Nick Saban has said he will be a game-time decision. Since Saban isn’t going to tell anyone whether his future NFL first-rounder is OK or not before the biggest clash of the year, we won’t know until he steps on that field.

The biggest problem for LSU, though, is their defense. The last time a team with a semi-competent offense came along, they conceded 28 points and 457 yards (Florida). Before that all was the talk about Joe Burrow’s monster game at Texas (he passed for 471 yards), but people seem to forget that Sam Ehlinger threw on LSU’s ‘vaunted’ secondary for 407. If LSU’s ‘D’ plays as badly as they did in those two games, they are a world of trouble. It’s not going to be helped by the fact that future first rounder Grant Delpit is back, but probably he won’t be 100%. Derek Stingley Jr, one of the best freshman CBs in the nation, is also questionable. If they aren’t 100%, how on earth will they stop Jeremy Jeudy (682 yards, 8 TDs), Henry Ruggs (588 yards, 7 TDs), and Devonta Smith (721 yards, 9 TDs)?

If Tua is hurt, then it’s advantage LSU for sure. Of course, Najee Harris and Brian Robinson will smash the ball down the throat of LSU, hoping to shorten the game and control the ball, helped by the fact that LSU’s starting LB Michael Divinity has left the team for reasons unknown.

PREDICTION: If Tua is healthy, Alabama will win by 10, if not LSU wins by 7.

And the rest?

2) Missouri at No.6 Georgia (-10 1/2) : The Bulldogs jumped back into the National Conversation after beating Florida at the Cocktail Party, while Missouri has gone completely the wrong way after incompetent losses to Vanderbilt and Kentucky. Frankly, we’re surprised that the line’s not higher in Georgia’s favour. If Missouri gets housed this weekend, there will be a ton of pressure on Barry Odom. PREDICTION: Georgia by 17.

3) Vanderbilt at No.10 Florida (-28): Florida wasn’t great against Georgia, and still managed to keep it tight against Georgia. All eyes will be on Florida DC Todd Grantham not to screw it up on third down like he did against Georgia….although against Vanderbilt, this will be far worse opposition. PREDICTION: Florida by 31.

4) App State at South Carolina (-5 1/2): The Gamecocks weren’t impressed against Vanderbilt, but it was never close. Applachian State’s offense has enough to cause anyone problems (they are 13th in the nation in scoring), so this should be more fun than most people think it might be. PREDICTION: South Carolina by 10.

5) Western Kentucky at Arkansas (-1): This is how terrible Arkansas is. They are a 1-point favorite against an offense that is ranked 108th in the country. Sure, their defense is horrible, but how bad can it get? PREDICTION: Arkansas by 10. 

6) New Mexico at Ole Miss (-31): Yawn. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 42.

 

 

 

 

The day we’ve all been waiting for is coming on Thursday.

No, it’s not Armageddon our chance to be taken up to heaven. No, it’s not that time that we get the call from Heidi Klum offering to meet her for a date.

It’s better than that. It’s the first release of the College Football Play-Off Committee’s 1-2-3-4.

This Tuesday the Committee rated their 1 to 4 as Ohio State, LSU, Alabama and Penn State. Clemson was 5th, Georgia 6th, followed by Oregon, Utah, Oklahoma and Florida.

In other words, the SEC owned the Top 10.

But if Georgia wins out, this could create a monstrous nightmare for the Committee.

THE IDEAL SCENARIO: Alabama beats LSU comfortably/ LSU beats Alabama comfortably, win rest of games, win SEC title against Georgia.

This means that there will be no argument about having two SEC teams in the College Football Play-Off. Georgia gets its second loss after the South Carolina debacle, and it’s out of the reckoning. One of Alabama and LSU don’t make the play-off either, because they got their asses handed to them and to boot, don’t win their division.

THE LESS-THAN-IDEAL BUT OK SCENARIO: Alabama beats LSU by 3/ LSU beats Alabama by 3, win rest of games, wins SEC title against Georgia. 

The loss by LSU/Alabama isn’t too bad, but the winner’s gone on to win the SEC, so that’s it. Sure, there’s a question mark about whether LSU and Alabama should stay in the College Football reckoning, but Georgia still get its second loss after the South Carolina debacle, so they can relax a bit and leave it to the Weird Guys With The Jackets to fight over the Bulldogs’ presence in a New Year’s Six/ Jan 1 bowl.

THE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO: Alabama beats LSU by 3/ LSU beats Alabama by 3. Georgia runs the table meets the winner of the LSU and Alabama game in Atlanta and beats them. 

This is a horror show for the Committee. If Alabama beats LSU or vice-versa by a tiny margin, then dropping them below 4 seems silly. After all, they lost to the 1st or 2nd-ranked team in the nation. If LSU loses closely, it’s because they were beaten-up on defense and they are on the road. A close loss actually makes them look pretty good. If Alabama loses, it’s because they had a back-up quarterback. They should be in the play-off, because Tua’s going to be back and they’ve passed an eye test.

And then comes Georgia. Georgia will have two excellent wins against Auburn and Florida, who will both be ranked in the Top 10-15, which is excellent for the resume. A win over LSU or Alabama game would – for the Bulldogs – vault them into the Committee’s eyes into the Top 4. After all, they’d just win the SEC. But here’s the horrific problem: The SEC will have to choose. They aren’t going to choose three teams to go to the College Football Play-Off. And all three teams would have one loss.

The College Football Play-Off Committee aren’t going to leave out the winner of the SEC, but also wouldn’t want to not include the winner of the GAME TO END THEM ALL (2019 version), either. And the loser can’t have done that badly, with an 11-1 season and only losing to the No.1 or No.2 team in the nation. So what in the hell do they do?

 

And for Georgia fans, it might all come down to that awful day in Athens. 

We admit it. We followed the bandwagon and predicted that Florida would beat Georgia at the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.

After all, Florida was bringing back two of its biggest defensive guns in Zuniga and Grennard. Georgia had been uninventive. Todd Grantham was incredible. Dan Mullen was on the rise, while Kirby was going to the other way. Hell, a former Florida cheerleader yelled at me for having the nerve to tell her that I thought Georgia had a chance. “We’re going to Atlanta!”, she said. And then stomped off when I suggested that Aaron Hernandez was perhaps not The Swamp’s greatest alum.

So with her in mind I laughed my butt off when my prediction went wrong and Georgia came through with the seven-point victory. Grennard himself admitted that he sucked. Georgia actually mixed the pass and run nicely for a change – and returned kicks. Todd Grantham couldn’t work out how to stop the Bulldogs converting on 3rd down, and Kirby Smart looked a far better coach than Dan Mullen.

So if I ever bump into that Florida cheerleader’s again, my first word will be ‘peace’, to save the chance of me producing children.

In other tales, Mississippi State hammered Arkansas, Auburn’s defense once again won a game for Gus Malzahn, Vanderbilt returned to normal at South Carolina, and Tennessee kept the momentum up by hammering UAB.

So here are the rankings:

1. LSU (8-0): The Tigers were idle, and outdrank Bye Week 140,000 – 10.
2. Alabama (8-0): ‘WE DISRESPECTED BYE WEEK, BUT WE GOT THROUGH IT. WE’VE GOT TO FOCUS!” – Nick Saban. Probably.
3. Georgia (7-1): The SEC East is theirs now. And there’s still the chance of a College Football Play-Off. A win against Auburn will certainly help the resume.
4. Florida (7-2): They aren’t going to Atlanta. Or the College Football Play-Off. But they could win out and finish in a New Year’s Six Bowl.
5. Auburn (7-2): The fanbase hates Gus Malzahn for the inept offense and they are right. They weren’t bad at putting yards up against Ole Miss (507), but won barely. The fact that Bo Nix went 30-44 and the TV guys were saying that it was his best-ever performance in an Auburn shirt was certainly dampening with faint praise. The defense is unreal, though. I feel sorry for Kevin Steele, who must say to his defensive unit: “Sorry guys, but you’re going back out there in a few plays time. Time to rescue the team again.”
6. Texas A&M (6-3): The Aggies were horrible in the first half against UTSA, but got going. Still, the first half was utterly painful. But remember folks: THIS IS THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL (maybe). Oh, and A&M is bowl-eligible now, which means that they have gotten bowl eligibility before ‘them people from Austin’.
7. Kentucky (4-4): Got wasted on bourbon with Bye Week and talked some basketball.
8. Tennessee (4-5): Tennessee’s got momentum. After reeling off their third straight victory, there’s a real chance the Vols could get bowl-eligible – and win their next three games (Kentucky, Missouri, Vanderbilt).
9. South Carolina (4-5): The Gamecocks beat Vanderbilt and the fans are a little happier now in Gamecock country. Still, getting to bowl eligibility will mean winning two out of App State, Texas A&M and Clemson. That will be hard work for Muschamp’s team, who could end the season having beaten Georgia but not appearing in January.
10. Missouri (5-3): It was a tight game against Bye Week that Barry Odom nearly lost, but scraped through with a tie. Need one win out of Arkansas, Florida, Tennessee and Georgia to get bowl-eligible, and it ain’t gonna be against Georgia or Florida. The question around Columbia about whether Barry Odom survives (again) might be if the team goes 2-2. Or even 3-1.
11. Ole Miss (3-6): Did a lot of bending but not breaking against Auburn, but just came short. Plumlee’s a fun quarterback to watch, yo. Won’t get to bowl eligibility, but will probably win two out of the next three (New Mexico State, LSU, Mississippi State). Will Matt Luke survive? Maybe.
12. Mississippi State (4-5): The Cowbellers put up SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY YARDS in a 54-24 thrashing of Bye Week (sorry, Arkansas). Kylin Hill ran for TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOUR YARDS, which is sensational by anyone’s standards. If there’s a ship to right, that’s the way to do it.
13. Vanderbilt (2-6): The momentum has dropped away for the cleverest school in the SEC. Quite rightly, the fanbase should be back calling for Derek Mason’s head – particularly if they don’t win another SEC game (which is totally possible, bearing in mind they’ve got Florida, Kentucky and Tennessee).
14. Arkansas (2-7): If you’re not going to fire Chad Morris, Arkansas, then fire John Chavis. NOW. The Razorbacks managed to give up 640 yards to one of the more inept offenses in the SEC. And 47 points to that offense (they gave up a pick-six). The fans are taking some heart from the younger players, but it’s obvious no-one wants to play for the team right now, who need a win over Western Kentucky to avoid having the joint-worst record in school history….with 2018.

Today was a fun yet weird week for the SEC. The weird stuff happened at Sanford Stadium in Athens, Georgia, where the  No.3 Dawgs lost in double-overtime to a South Carolina side that was a 23-point underdog, but had also lost to Alabama, Missouri and, er, North Carolina.

In Baton Rouge, LSU beat Florida 42-28 in an awesome game in the Bayou, with the Bayou Bengals surviving mostly by superior firepower on a night that featured parachutists coming down from heaven, a raucous crowd, College Gameday, and a lack of Gary Danielson.

And on the other end of the spectrum, an awful UNLV team ran away from a terrible Vanderbilt side, Tennessee got its first SEC win of the season over freefalling Mississippi State and Kentucky beat Arkansas,

Elsewhere, Alabama cruised by Texas A&M, Missouri pretty comfortably beat Ole Miss in a comfortable one.

Anyway, so here are our SEC rankings:

1. LSU (6-0): Joe Burrow is quickly becoming involved in the Heisman conversation. They beat Florida on Saturday night in a shoot-out. We know that their defense isn’t great, but their offense just keeps on coming. It should be interesting to see if passing game coordinator/wide receivers coach Joe Brady is around next year. Because of his miracles with the LSU offense this year, we suspect he’ll either get his first head coaching job or he’ll get an offensive coordinator’s job at a bigger school. He won’t be short of offers.
2. Alabama (6-0): The Alabama wide receivers are so damned quick. Tua is so damned good. Najee Harris is an unstoppabe running back. The Tide on the offense are awesome. Can LSU stop them? We will see. But right now, they are second on strength of schedule alone.
3. Florida (6-1): We said that this was a very good Gators side when they beat Auburn, and nothing has changed here. But defensive injuries meant that the Gators struggled late. Still, Dan Mullen’s team could well see Alabama or LSU in Atlanta again at the SEC Championship Game. They are that good.
4. Auburn (5-1): Idle, and watching carnage around it actually helped the Tigers. And got them healthier.
5. Missouri (5-1): Kelly Bryant has got this offense buzzing, but Cale Garrett’s injury at linebacker could take the Tigers back a few notches when they face the big boys in Florida and Georgia.
6. South Carolina (3-3): The merry-go-round that is the SEC East (Missouri beats Georgia who beats South Carolina) doesn’t mean South Carolina’s a better side than Georgia, but it happened.
7. Georgia (5-1): “I always thought they were overrated anyway” said a friend of mine – a student at Georgia – after witnessing the horror show on Saturday afternoon. For me, this has blown Georgia’s chances of getting into the play-off. Because even if the Bulldogs DO get to the SEC Championship Game, the Committee will ask the question: “Yeah, but who did they lose to?” The Bulldogs will go up the rankings again soon, but right now, they are a middle-of-the-road SEC side.
8. Texas A&M (3-3): Texas A&M lost to all the teams we thought they’d lose to, and struggled with Arkansas. This Aggies team aren’t that great.
9. Ole Miss (3-4): If Ole Miss could gel two quarterbacks into one (Corral’s arm and Plumlee’s legs), they would be golden. But right now, Ole Miss is mediocre.
10. Kentucky (3-3): We don’t know what to think of the Wildcats, but they beat Arkansas after sliding a little. They aren’t great, but they have taken a massive step back from last year. Their new QB Lynn Bowden is pretty useful, though.
11. Tennessee (2-4): The Volunteers’ victory breathed hope into the country’s laughing stock, and there is once again hope around Neyland. Who would it have happened after they went toe-to-toe for one half with Georgia.
12. Arkansas (2-4): The Razorbacks are playing with a bit of fire suddenly. Sure, the defense struggled against a Kentucky freshman QB today, giving up a 13-0 lead before losing 24-20. Right now, November 11th looms large…a match-up with Mississippi State that they should be favored in.
13. Mississippi State (2-4): We know that they beat Kentucky a couple of weeks ago, but this program is in such freefall that if you put these two together again, we’d be betting Kentucky all the way.
14. Vanderbilt (1-5): If Vanderbilt’s AD was a least bit clever, they should fire Derek Mason now and get a jump on a search for a head coach. He’s a great guy, but there’s nothing else to say. He’s got to go.