I know, it’s Wednesday and there’s already a college football game on Thursday, and we haven’t really got ourselves together to write our ‘Impressed/Depressed’ list.

That’s because half of this writer was doing other things, and half of this writer was asking himself: “What in the hell happened to Florida?”

Anyway, let’s get to the list. And congratulations to Mark Stoops and Kentucky for getting a giant-sized Gator off your back.

1. Kentucky: I would have killed to be a Kentucky fan in Gainseville on Saturday. Before the game I would have been given non-stop crap by full-grown men in jorts about how the Wildcats would ‘always’ be Gator bait. In the game a group of people – probably in jorts – would have turned to me and given me the Gator Chomp over and over again. Just to bug the crap out of me. And then we see our team win 27-16 in there, and the same dude in jorts who gave you crap all day is sitting there, wondering what the hell happened. 31-year STREAK’S OVER, BABY! (Oh, and Benny Snell’s a pretty good running back).
2. Texas A&M: We didn’t think they’d keep it particularly close against Clemson, but in the end, it came down a 2-pt conversion that didn’t take off. Everyone after the game wasn’t talking about Clemson, they were talking about Kellen Mond, who gave the Tiger defense hell through his legs. This Texas A&M will cause some worries for defenses this year.
3. Georgia: OK folks, I thought this showdown on CBS with South Carolina would be close. After the Dawgs walked away in the 3rd quarter, I turned it off and watched the ending of the Colorado vs Nebraska game, which was far more entertaining. What was so good about Georgia was although the game was pretty tight in the first half, the Dawgs always looked capable of hitting another gear. Carolina, not so much? There is only one winner in the SEC East, and it ain’t gonna come from Columbia.
4. Mississippi State: Over the years Manhattan, KS hasn’t been an easy place to play for big-time opponents, but MSU trucked the Wildcats, with Nick Fitzgerald coming through nicely. Kylin Hill’s a damned good running back, too.
5. Vanderbilt: We didn’t think Vandy would impress this much in the first two weeks of the year….but they did. We’re under no illusion that they’ll do well in South Bend next week, but Derek Mason’s decision NOT to coach the offense seems to be paying off.
6. Alabama: Arkansas State is actually a pretty good FCS team. Alabama is a really, really good FBS team. And that’s why Alabama beat the crap out of them. The Tide look absolutely unstoppable right now.
7. Missouri: The Tigers weren’t great in the first half, but were really great in the second. Emmanuel Hall is flat-out a better wide receiver than J’Mon Moore, who was meant to be missed this season. Right now Moore isn’t even surfing the bench in Green Bay. If Drew Lock can continue to hit his weapons, Missouri could make a shout in the SEC East.
8. Ole Miss’ OFFENSE: We love it! Can’t wait to see it on Saturday against Alabama!
9. Tennessee: Congrats to Jeremy Pruitt on getting your first win as a head coach.
10. LSU: WE JUS’ LOOKIN’ FORWARD TO THA’ AWWWBURRRN GAME THIS WEEK. GO TIGAHS! – ED ORGERON
11. Auburn: WE JUST LOOKING FORWARD TO THE LSU GAME THIS WEEK.  – GUS MALZAHN
12. South Carolina: When the only way to beat a really, really good team is to run an offense fast and you don’t do it, you’re going to get slaughtered. And South Carolina got slaughtered. At home.
13. Florida: For some reason the Gators were given a No.25 spot against a win against nobody in Week 1. They were awful against Kentucky, and deserved to lose. Maybe Dan Mullen might have to wait a year.
14. Arkansas: I’M SORRY TO ANYONE WHO PUT THEIR HOUSE AND KIDS ON ARKANSAS BEATING THE SPREAD AT COLORADO STATE. I HAD NO IDEA HOW BAD THE RAZORBACKS STILL ARE. I AM SO SORRY.
15. Ole Miss’ DEFENSE: Oh. Dear. Lord.

This weekend, the whole country is going to be concentrating on the Great State of South Carolina.

At 3.30pm the Devils from Georgia will roll into Columbia, and we’ll have to hear some terrible EDM music, and people will be screaming and whirling towels. And it will be noisy. Because Williams-Brice is noisy. CBS will be showing it, so you can always watch it on silent if you don’t like the commentators.

Then at 7pm Clemson rolls into Kyle Field to play the 12th Man, Jimbo’s friend and benefactor, and dog-worshippers Texas A&M who had a double-whammy last week when it beat Northwestern State and a couple of days later got to laugh at Texas losing to Maryland (and got to make lots of strip club jokes at the same time). The scene in College Station should be rocking pretty early with College Gameday on the scene, which undoubtedly will show you shots of the previous day’s ‘Midnight Yell. Oh, and the No.2 team in the country is coming to town.

Anyway, here are the games from the SEC in terms of interest for us:

1. Georgia (-10) at South Carolina: For some reason, everyone’s up on Will Muschamp and his Gamecocks. They love Jake Bentley and quite rightly love Deebo Samuel. Georgia rolls into Williams-Brice for its first real game of the season, so we don’t know what really to expect, apart from some efficient quarterbacking from Jake Fromme, and a hell of a lot of talent. This should be fun. And noisy. And the game that will decide the SEC East (probably). PREDICTION: Georgia to win by 7 in one of the best games there will be this year. 
2. Clemson (-12) at Texas A&M: For the life of me I can’t work out why Texas A&M is a 12-point underdog at home. Is A&M simply that bad? Listen, Clemson’s defense is for real.We know that. They’ve got four potential NFL first-rounders on that defensive line, but offensively, is Kelly Bryant really that good? And will the offense be able to adjust with having two QBs playing (Trevor Lawrence in the other guy (he’s quite good, actually). For A&M, we expect Kellen Mond to cause Clemson some problems with his feet, but it’s going to be all about the Aggies offensive line. PREDICTION: Clemson to shade it by 6. 
3. Kentucky at Florida (-14): Kentucky stunk it out in its win against Directional Michigan, throwing up four first half turnovers in the process. Florida beat Charleston Southern and is on its way to a National Championship. Seriously though, Kentucky stunk it out for a half and got its act together, and Florida probably isn’t going to a National Championship this year. We do, however expect them to beat Kentucky for 96th time in a row. PREDICTION: Chomped in The Swamp. Florida by 18.
4. Arkansas (-13) at Colorado State: This game interests me more than the Kansas State simply for the betting perspective. I can’t for the life of me understand why Arkansas is only a 13-point favourite over a Colorado State that has sucked for the best part of two games. The Rams have given up 88 points in its last two games, and an average of 606 yards/game. PREDICTION: Arkansas by 24. 
5. Mississippi State (-9.5) at Kansas State: While Mississippi State was rolling in its first game of the year, Kansas State was struggling with South Dakota. Both are 1-0, but the Bulldogs will be more rested when they roll into THE FAKE MANHATTAN (which is occupied by a wizardy type called Bill Snyder). And to make things happier for KSU, Nick Fitzgerald’s back with a point to prove. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 14. Easy. 
6. Nevada at Vanderbilt (-9): Vandy’s win wasn’t so much impressive from the point of view how much they mashed the spread, but for the fact that the Commodores looked very decent indeed. This week, it’s Nevada, who dropped 72 over lowly Portland State. The amazingly named Ty Gangi (Potheads on campus have already said: “How high will he go?”) might give Vandy a few fits early on, but we expect Derek Mason, and his own QB Kyle Shurmur to be fine. PREDICTION: Vandy by 14. 
7. Wyoming at Missouri (-17.5): Wyoming can’t stop the pass. We know this because Bombers are averaging 213.5 yards/game on its secondary. This week Wyoming also faces bombers, in the face of Drew Lock, and his WR corps led by Emmanuel Hall. The X-Factor? The weather. It’s meant to be terrible that night. PREDICTION: Regardless of the crappy weather predicted, this will be ugly. Missouri by 21. 
8. Arkansas State vs Alabama (-36.5): If there are any Alabama fans telling us how we should respect the Red Wolves, then please feel free to slap them in the face and say: “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?” Prediction: Roll Bama Roll. By 48. 
9. Southern Illinois vs Ole Miss: Last week Southern Illinois scored 21 points from turnovers, so the Rebels will want to watch out for that. But saying that, this ain’t Murray State. Ole Miss – with the best WRing corps in the nation – is going to be a lot of fun to watch this season, y’all. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 38. 
10. SE Louisiana vs LSU: If there are any LSU fans telling us how we should “respect the Lions”, then please feel free to slap them in the face and say: “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HOW MUCH BOURBON HAVE YOU HAD? IT’S ONLY 10AM?” PREDICTION: Grrr (for 1 quarter)….Snooore (for 3 quarters). LSU by 52. 
11. ETSU vs Tennessee: The good news for UT fans? The Vols played well for a half against West Virginia. Unfortunately, the Mountaineers coasted afterwards. Against ETSU we should see Jeremy Pruitt comfortably pick up his first victory as a head coach. PREDICTION: Tennessee by 48
12. Alabama State vs Auburn: This won’t be a let-down spot after the Tigers’ streetfight of a victory over Washington on Saturday. This won’t even be a game. Fun fact though: Alabama State beat a D-II school we’ve never heard of in overtime last week ((Tuskegee).  PREDICTION: Auburn by 60. 

LSU’s roasting of No.8 Miami, Auburn’s victory in a war against Washington, and Alabama’s brutal dismantling of Louisville (not to mention their coach’s brutal dismantling of an ESPN reporter) were all the most impressive things of Week 1. Tennessee was the only team in the SEC that lost – although that was helped by some ‘superb’ scheduling by ADs everywhere (yeah, the South Carolina vs Coastal Carolina game was always going to be a barnburner).

I’d like to note that for games 9-14 I was scrambling for reasons why I would be impressed. Hence why Tennessee’s so high. 

Anyway, which SEC team impressed the most on Week 1 of the CFB season?

1. LSU (1-0): The 33-17 dismantling of Miami was very impressive indeed. LSU fans saw their first competent QB in some years. The team has a RB in Nick Brossette who could reap the rewards of bench-sitting for 3 years. And the defense – which caused 2 turnovers and scored a TD – is pretty damned lively, too. Sure, it was helped by a Miami side who couldn’t stop getting penalties (11 of them for 85 yards), but this was a very good performance. Is Coach O off the hotseat now? No, but his Cajun butt just cooled a lot.
2. Auburn (1-0): The 21-16 Battle Royale at Atlanta broke Auburn’s ‘curse’ in the ATL, but this was a back-and-forth war that didn’t let up on the excitement from start to finish. Both sides got to the quarterbacks, but it was Auburn’s red-zone offense that came out victorious when it mattered. But for Tigers fans, this schedule barely lets up: The Tigers still have 4 monster game left in the next 11.
3. Ole Miss (1-o): They say that the most dangerous teams are those playing for nothing, and Ole Miss – thanks to its self-imposed bowl ban – is one of those teams. But if you’re a DC, good luck in trying to work out how to stop the best receiving corps in the nation that is as deep as it is good (DaMarkus Lodge, AJ Brown and DK Metcalf, Braylon Sanders). Jordan Ta’amu’s not a bad QB either. And although people might bitch and moan about Texas Tech’s defense, you gotta give this offense some credit. And the ‘D’ showed up, giving up just 10 second-half points.
4. Alabama (1-0): Alabama’s destruction of Louisville was what everyone expected. Alabama looks quicker than every team in college football. The receivers aren’t missing a beat since Calvin Ridley left. The defense is dominating and fast. Oh, and Tua’s one hell of a quarterback (see you later, Jalen!). As much as people might hate Nick Saban, he’s one hell of a coach. This team is formidable, folks.
5. Vanderbilt (1-0): This was always going to be a difficult game against MTSU with Vandy just 4.5 point favourites at gametime, but the Commodores came through to rout their opponents 35-7. Kyle Shurmur’s a good QB, but we’ll have to see how they stack up against the SEC opponents before taking Derek Mason off our hot seat just yet.
6. Arkansas (1-0): It was interesting to see how Arkansas might click after Bret Bielema’s firing, but they did just fine, beating Eastern Illinois 55-20 (they were up 38-6 at the half). On the evidence of Saturday, Ty Storey (who threw for 3 TDs) isn’t going to be a bad QB either.
7. Kentucky (1-0): After a poor first half, Benny Snell and the Wildcats came through to beat Central Michigan 35-20, with Benny Snell running for 125 yards and 2 TDs. But the killer for the Wildcats could have been turnovers- they committed four of them against a not-meant-to-be-great Central Michigan team. If they do that against Florida in The Swamp, Mark Stoops is going to continue that great Kentucky tradition of getting beaten by the Gators. So why are they this far up the list? Because at least UK played someone relatively OK.
8. Tennessee (0-1): The Volunteers shouldn’t be this high on the list by a lot of people’s standards, but I come with this: The game was 13-7 at half-time. Things unravelled after the long time-delay after that, but Tennessee at least showed some gumption.
9. South Carolina (1-0): Deebo Samuel’s highlight reel catch is the only reason why the Gamecocks are even this far up the list.
10. Texas A&M (1-0): I predicted A&M would beat Northwestern State by 52. I was right. I’m going to mention this a lot this year.
11. Florida (1-0): We haven’t really heard of Charleston Southern, but at least the Gators’ offense looked OK. You know, against Charleston Southern.
12. Georgia (1-0): Hammered Austin Peay and kept the shut-out. Yawn.
13. Missouri (1-0): Hammered UT-Martin, and Drew Lock looked good. Yawn.
14. Mississippi State (1-0): Great for a team missing its starting QB by tuning up against Stephen F. Austin. And boy, did they tune up Stephen F. Austin.
15. Nick Saban: Being straight-up rude to a reporter after your team has dismantled their opponent isn’t a good look. Bullies don’t like being questioned about things, and so when Maria Taylor asked him about the QB farce that he’d helped cause (and keep Jalen Hurts from transferring which in turn will probably ruin the rest of Hurts’ college career), he exploded.

It’s the fun bit of our job when we get to predict the Week 1 games of the college football season for SEC teams. We think we know everything after Week 1, only to see that our ‘knowledge’ is blown away by Thanksgiving that we feel miserable and inclined to douse ourselves in whiskey while we wait around for bowl season.

Anyway, here are your predictions for Week 1 of the SEC season. As usual, we’re going in the order of games we’re interested in. Sorry Texas A&M vs Northwestern State, you’re not very high.

The first five games on this list are being played on neutral fields. Which means that if you’re a season ticket holder of a SEC team, you’re being screwed out of seeing a big-time match-up at your own stadium.

1. Auburn (-2.5) vs Washington (Atlanta): Auburn’s got the pick of the QBs in Jarrett Stidham, but they are still missing a hell of a lot of talent at RB, and that should be interesting against a Washington team who should be hella strong defensively. Then again, we don’t see Washington going anywhere fast against Auburn’s defensive front, either. This will be a low-scorer. PREDICTION: Auburn by 7 in an absolute war.
2. LSU vs Miami (-2.5) (Dallas): We’ve talked repeatedly say how much we hate JerryWorld as a venue (or any other neutral site venues) for regular season college football games, and things haven’t changed. Having said that, Jerry Jones’ money have put up some great match-ups. We only wish they were home-and-homes. The crowd at the LSU vs Miami game will probably be 70:30 in favour of the Tigers, bearing in mind geography and Miami’s poor fanbase, but what will that mean? Eyes will be on LSU’s starter (will it be Myles Brennan or Joe Burrow), as well as how the Tigers compensate for being ripped apart by the NFL, while Miami will try and find a way without Braxon Berrios, their best WR. This should be fun. PREDICTION: Miami by 3 in a classic.
3. Tennessee vs West Virginia (-9.5) (Charlotte): As we said in the LSU vs Miami game, we’re expecting Vols fans to dominate the crowd against the Mountaineers, but that’s all we expect them to dominate. Tennessee will still be discovering themselves under Jeremy Pruitt, while WVU brings back a hell of a lot of talent – including QB and possible Heisman candidate Will Grier. PREDICTION: West Virginia by 17 in a game not even as close as that.
4. Texas Tech (-2) vs Ole Miss (Houston): We love Ole Miss WR AJ Brown, and he and QB Jordan Ta’amu will be clicking nicely. In other words, they will be difficult to stop. Then again, Texas Tech is vastly improved on defense…although Texas Tech insiders don’t exactly love the team’s offensive game at the moment. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 10. 
5. Alabama (-25.5) vs Louisville (Orlando): We think that Louisville’s athletic department is a Heisman Trophy candidate in the battle for the Worst Calender Year Award For A NCAA School, bearing in mind that they’ve had to fire their Hall of Fame basketball coach and their biggest booster has racially slurred his way out of his own business. This ain’t a good look. We only find is strange that Bobby Petrino’s kept himself out of trouble. While in Tuscaloosa, Nick Saban’s spitting bullets about the depth of his team – and there’s a QB fight between two good quarterbacks – but the Crimson Tide will be fine. PREDICTION: Saban goes 1-0, predictably. Alabama by 28
6. Central Michigan vs Kentucky (-17): Benny Snell’s expected to run for well over 100 in this one – and that’s probably a good thing bearing in mind the ballhawks in Central Michigan’s secondary. Expect a brawl for four quarters in the best of all of the games getting played by SEC teams on their home fields. PREDICTION: Schnell, Snell! Kentucky by 14.
7. MTSU vs Vanderbilt (-4.5): A potentially tricky battle for Derek Mason this one. Kyle Shurmur’s an assured QB, but the ‘Dores are missing their best RB, and MTSU will have an improved passing game. PREDICTION: Vanderbilt by 10 that’s closer than the scoreline suggests.
8. Coastal Carolina (-29) vs South Carolina: Hell, it’ll be nice to see Deebo Samuel back. PREDICTION: South Carolina by 41.
9. UT Martin vs Missouri: The eyes will be QB Drew Lock, WR Emmanuel Hall, and Missouri’s new OC, Derek Dooley. I’d also like to see how the Tigers’ ‘D’ is. If they don’t show up against UT Martin, the Tigers have problems. PREDICTION: LOCK AND LOAD!! Missouri by 45.
10. Eastern Illinois vs Arkansas: Chad Morris’ first game will see a new offense, which should be fun against a EIU team that’s not expected to prove problematic. PREDICTION: Arkansas by 38. 
11. Northwestern State vs Texas A&M: Jimbo Fisher’s first game in Aggieland is only remotely interesting because it’s Jimbo Fisher’s first game in Aggieland. The game itself will be over by mid-way through the second quarter. PREDICTION: Texas A&M by 52.
12. SF Austin vs Mississippi State: Joe Moorhead’s first game will also mark the return of Nick Fitzgerald, who was injured during the Egg Bowl loss against Ole Miss last year. It’ll be interesting to see how that offense blends. You know, until half-tiime when MSU will be 28 points up and we can switch over. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 42.
13. Austin Peay vs Georgia: Some Dawgs fan will say before the game that Austin Peay is potentailly a tough opponent, because he’s trying not to say: “We’ll kick the living **** out of them”. And because UGA fans can’t manage their emotions, this victory will be seen as a sure sign that they are winning the SEC and National titles, and that they should celebrate accordingly. PREDICTION: Georgia by 50.
14. Charleston Southern vs Florida: Dan Mullen’s the new HC in FLA. Again, we’ll see who gets the starting job, and whether the Gators’ offense can actually click. You might have heard it had problems doing that last seeason. PREDICTION: Florida by 45.