SEC Rankings: LSU is a Big-12 team

For once people are talking about what this blog has been ranting about all season long: LSU’s defense is utter crap. They were shredded by Texas, Florida and Alabama – all of which were good teams – so we’ll grant them that. The secondary – the self-proclaimed ‘DBU’ throughout the season hasn’t been great.

And it was all shown up on Saturday against Ole Miss.

LSU won because their offense was a little better than Ole Miss’ in the Tigers’ 58-37 victory, but the defense gave up SIX HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN YARDS, including 400 on the ground. We’ll say it again, 400 yards on the ground. The defensive line never hurried John Rhys Plumlee and Matt Corrall, and they totalled just 5 tackles-for-loss. The defense look unmotivated, almost to the point of not cared.

Joe Burrow pointed out that he couldn’t understand why a team that put up 700 yards was mad in the locker room. Well Joe, because if LSU’s defense plays like that in the SEC Championship Game, it’s got problems. If it comes against Ohio State or Clemson in the College Football Play-Off, it’s definitely got problems.

No-one can stop them and they sure as hell can’t stop you. So they are a Big XII team. 

Ranking the SEC teams with :

–—- RIGHT HERE ARE THE SEC ELITE TEAMS —– 

1. Georgia (9-1): Helped by some awful refereeing, Georgia battled through an excellent Auburn defense to win 21-14. It was looking much more comfortable than that until the Bulldogs suddenly decided to give Bo Nix time to throw – which he did, connecting with a few receivers. Georgia doesn’t have a wonderful offense, but in the SEC Championship Game we expect DeAndre Swift to run roughshod. And the Bulldogs have enough good defense to stop LSU. All we are thinking is: “Don’t play zone. Don’t play zone. Don’t play zone.”
2. LSU (10-0): LSU IS A BIG 12 TEAM.
3. Alabama (9-1): Tua’s done for the year. It won’t matter next week, but it will in the Iron Bowl. Still Mac Jones and Bo Nix look fair fights. In fact, we’d take Mac Jones.
4. Florida (8-2): The Gators rolled past Missouri in the second half. These jort-wearers are looking good (unlike their teeth).

—-RIGHT HERE IS LEAGUE OF THE TWO BEST THREE-LOSS TEAMS IN THE COUNTRY—–

1. Auburn (7-3): THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY. Seriously though, what did that defense do to deserve an offense like that? And even when Gus Malzahn dialled up the perfect play, Bo Nix couldn’t execute. I still don’t understand why Joey Gatewood wasn’t given more of an opportunity.
2. Texas A&M (7-3): USED TO BE THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY. The classiest moment in college football this season happened in Kyle Field on Saturday night, when the Texas A&M crowd held up three fingers to acknowledge the death of South Carolina QB’s Ryan Hilinki’s brother Tyler. And even cooler? At Midnight Yell the day before the A&M cheerleaders asked the fans to honor the player the day beforehand.

—- RIGHT HERE IS THE LEAGUE OF ORDINARY—-

1. Tennessee (5-5): Beat bye week, which gave Tennessee fans nothing to yell at. It was a strange day in the Appalachians.
2. Kentucky (5-5): Eviscerated Vanderbilt. Lynn Bowden Jr might be going back to wide receiving duties next year, but right now he’s playing well. Kentucky’s SEC schedule is over (3-5), but they can still get to a bowl game with one win over either UT-Martin and Louisville. Quite frankly, it should be two.

—– RIGHT HERE IS THE LEAGUE OF STINKY EGGINESS—— 

1. Ole Miss (4-7): Ole Miss couldn’t stop LSU, but LSU couldn’t stop Ole Miss. It was a fun game played in a terrible atmosphere. The Egg Bowl will bring all the hatred back on Thanksgiving, though, when we watch two terrible teams throw crap at each other. The one who has least faeces on his uniform wins.
2. Mississippi State (4-7): A win over bye week means that no-one blamed Joe Moorhead for the loss.

—- RIGHT HERE IS THE LEAGUE OF ROTTING GARBAGE—-

Warning: This is a much of a muchness. South Carolina are No.1 because they beat Georgia. 

1. South Carolina (4-7): Again, looked utterly inept against Texas A&M – not helped by the loss of star WR Bryan Edwards. Will Muschamp’s staying for another year. Here’s to hoping in the meantime the Gamecocks for him to can Bryan McLendon, the team’s OC.
2. Vanderbilt (2-8): The Commodores are so bad. And still thumped Missouri a couple of weeks’ ago.
3. Missouri (5-5): Got soundly beaten by Florida. The Tigers last scored a touchdown in the third quarter of the 29-7 loss at Kentucky. Two-and-a-third games ago. Why are they the second-worst team in the SEC right now? Because it seems that the team’s downwards trajectory can’t be stopped. Barry Odom still needs a win from Tennessee and Arkansas to make a bowl game. And quite frankly, we can’t see it against Tennessee.

—- ON THEIR OWN GODDAWFULLNESS

Arkansas (2-8): ‘Nuff said. Still, with LSU’s defense they could score 14-21 points next Saturday.