Rivalry Week: SEC game predictions (plus the other one!)

Before we talk about SEC rivalries, let’s think about the one that’s not going to be played this week: Virginia and Virginia Tech. It’s not because of COVID-19. It’s not because of food poisoning through both camps that means both teams can’t field players. It’s because a nasty piece of work shot three of his former teammates dead and the team can’t do anything but mourn.

It doesn’t make me want to give thoughts and prayers, it makes me want to give thoughts and get ****ing angry.


Less importantly that my previous paragraph, it’s Rivalry Week in College Football – but in particular, the SEC. There’s battles for Irons, Palmettos, Eggs, jorts and even ****ing Commonwealths.

It’s nasty, it’s angry, and it’s awesome.

We could try and show that we’re just interested in one game. But to be honest, we’re interested in them all. But we don’t a bookie near us we could watch all the games. And we’ve got family to have to do crap with.

Anyway, we’re going to be interested day-by-day.

THURSDAY

Mississippi State at No.20 Ole Miss (-2 O/U 59): Ole Miss has had quite the week. Firstly there was a report that said Lane Kiffin was off to Auburn. He then tweeted back that it wasn’t happening. Then last night, he told his players that he wasn’t going to go. Regardless of whether we think this is hot air or not, he’s not going this week. This week, Ole Miss will be playing for its second Egg Bowl victory in a row against its hated, hated rivals. Let’s be honest – things aren’t great for the Rebs at the moment. There was a terrible set of calls by Lane Kiffin that stopped the team beat Alabama, and then last week the team didn’t bother showing up against Arkansas. Last week Mississippi State got healthy after getting punched repeatedly in the mouth by Georgia, thumping mighty East Tennessee State 56-7. Will Rogers will go to Oxford facing quite a different host. Rogers – because of Mike Leach’s offense – leads the NCAA in completions and pass attempts, and the SEC in passing yards and passing touchdowns. But on Ole Miss’ side, Quinton Judkins can absolutely fly. If he’s healthy, then Mississippi State WILL be in a great deal of trouble. PREDICTION: The Egg will be a classic. Ole Miss 31, Mississippi State 28

FRIDAY

Florida at No.16 Florida State (-9.5 O/U 58): It’s been a weird decade in the battle for state supremacy. Florida State won all five games from 2013 to 2017, and then Florida turned around, taking advantage of the cesspit that was Tallahassee to win the last three straight games. But now, Florida State is on the up under Mike Norvell, and Florida is at the end of its first season under Billy Napier…..and has just suffered the embarrassment of losing to Vanderbilt. Right now, UF can’t tackle, has no offense, is indisciplined, and quite honestly, isn’t very good. Oh, and this week is down five wide receivers, too. On the other side, FSU has been streaky. Right now, he’s on a four-game winning streak…after losing four straight….after losing four straight. So this year, it’s hardly a surprise that FSU’s a big favorite. If Anthony Richardson performs well, then this one will be fun. But for us, the Gators are a one-track pony. Florida State has QB Jordan Travis’ arm, RB Trey Benson on the floor, and WR Johnny Wilson, who’s averaging 19.7 yards per reception. PREDICTION: Florida State rolls. FSU 45, Florida 21.

Arkansas (-3, O/U 55.5) at Missouri: Let’s get this one out of the way. As good as Missouri’s defense is, their offense stinks. On the other side, KJ Jefferson is back and healthy for Arkansas – and we saw this during their smashing of Ole Miss, when he went 17-22 for 168 yards and 3 TDs. Rocket Sanders – who ran for 232 yards and 3 TDs – is going to be equally difficult to stop. On the other hand, Missouri head coach Eli Drinkwitz committed a football felony sticking with a dreadful QB in Brady Cook, who is headlining the conference’s third-worst passing offense and fourth-worse total offense. Everybody’s been crying out for Coach Drink to use Luther Burden III – who hasn’t had over six receptions per game all season long – more (Having said that, Burden has actually been better than some Missouri fansiders anticipated), but this hasn’t happened. Imagine what might happen if Drinkwitz could put together an offense that would be close to as good his defense (30th in all of college football) is. Although Arkansas’ passing D is nothing to shout about in the least, can Brady Cook exploit it? Probably not. PREDICTION: Arkansas 35, Missouri 17.

SATURDAY

No.5 LSU (-10 O/U 47.5) at Texas A&M: I said to myself: “If Texas A&M puts in an excellent performance against 1-9 UMass, they are going to give LSU everything they have on Rivalry Week”. Instead – on an albeit frigid afternoon in College Station – Texas A&M won 20-3 and impressed nobody. LSU on the other hand beat UAB 41-10 in a game that was also watched by a third-full stadium, proving nothing to us. However, it seemed to prove something to the Committee who, sent the 9-2 Tigers to 5th in the College Football Play-Off Rankings above USC, who beat ranked-UCLA on the road, meaning that if they run the table or TCU loses its last two games (or Michigan loses comfortably to Ohio State or vice-versa), it’s going to be playing for ‘the Big One’ in January. Jaylen Daniels has been an exceptional leader for the Tigers, showing fleet-of-foot and an excellent arm, without the inaccuracies that plagued him at Arizona State. Texas A&M’s defense is going to also going to have its work cut-out trying to stop WR Malik Nebers, and RB Josh Williams and WR Kayshon Boutte will be back too. LSU shouldn’t think above itself for getting to No.5 in the CFB Play-Off rankings, either – particular with the Ags bringing back superlative WR Evan Stewart and RB Devon Achane, who is machine catching, rushing or receiving the ball. PREDICTION: Why not go big or go home? Aggies by 5 in a stunner. Texas A&M 28, LSU 23.

Auburn at No.7 Alabama (-22 O/U 50.5): Cadillac Williams has given Auburn a hell of a lot of life during his three week tenure. The Tigers have a two-game winning streak going – and it could have been three had the near-comeback at Mississippi State the week been pulled off the week before. Having said all that, the Tigers aren’t very good, and will be facing quite a different monster in Alabama, who have had a disappointing season where a lot of the time they were simply bad. Bryce Young could cause some serious damage on Saturday afternoon. Oh, and the weather is forecast to be miserable, too. Good luck, Cadillac. PREDICTION: The Crimson Tide stick the knife in. Alabama 56, Auburn 21.

South Carolina at No.8 Clemson (-14.5 O/U 52): Spencer Rattler – thanks the room his offensive line was giving him and Tennessee’s ****ing awful secondary – looked like a NFL Draft prospect last week. The problem for him is that he’ll be facing a different animal in Clemson’s defense, which is ranked No.18 in the country and defends the pass rather better than the OTHER Big Orange. The good thing that the Gamecocks have on their side is that DJ Uiagalelei isn’t wonderful (he’s middling nationally in almost every category), and that if they cover up Will Shipley, they should be good enough to make this game pretty close. But if they play defense like they did against Tennessee, they’ll be in trouble. PREDICTION: It’ll be closer than people think. Clemson 38, South Carolina 28.

No.10 Tennessee (-14 O/U 64) at Vanderbilt: It’s a blow to College Football that Hendon Hooker’s done for the season after blowing out his ACL during Saturday’s loss to South Carolina. It really is. He was leader in transforming Tennessee from Running Joke a couple of years ago to Serious Contender, and he shouldn’t have gone out like that. Taking his place will be Joe Milton III, who’s probably got the best arm in college football (it’s said he can throw it 70 yards flat-footed) but the placement of said throws is, ahem, mixed. Still, he’ll still have two of the best wide receivers in the game in Cedric Tillman and Jalin Hyatt. The reason why the spread is so low is that Tennessee’s pass defense is laughably bad (129th in the country out of 131, which makes you ask: What has Willie Martinez got on Josh Heupel that he wasn’t ‘canned weeks ago? Does that mean that Vandy QB Mike Wright will suddenly turn into Jordan Rodgers again? The issue with the ‘Dores is that when there is a track meet, we’re pretty sure they won’t keep up. PREDICTION: Joe Milton’s not spectacular, but Tillman and Hyatt certainly are. Tennessee 48, Vanderbilt 20.

No.25 Louisville at Kentucky (-3 O/U 43): We know this: Will Levis isn’t very good, and Kentucky isn’t very good. We also know this: Louisville’s won four of the last five, but their QB Ben Finley’s a freshman, and UK will be a harder team to play that NC State. We’re pretty sure that Kentucky’s going to lead the line with Chris Rodriguez, and make Will Levis throw LESS, because he’s been one of the biggest let-downs in college football  (Although we tried to tell you he really wasn’t that good!). Also, Louisville’s pass defense has been vastly improved this season compared to last season, and Levis throws a lot of picks. PREDICTION: Kentucky wins in a squeaker. Kentucky 21, Louisville 17.

Georgia Tech at No.1 Georgia (-35.5 O/U 49) : I’ll make this quick: Georgia to handle this on the football field, Georgia Tech to handle this on the “I’m going to make a shit ton of money when I graduate” front. PREDICTION: Georgia 48, Georgia Tech 3.

THE OTHER GAME

No.2 Ohio State (-7.5 O/U 56) vs No.3 Michigan: In 2006 Ohio State and Michigan played one of the most fun games of football in years in the ‘Game Of The Century’ when they were ranked No.1 and No.2, and this one also promises to be awesome. After all, the winner of this will win the B1G East, probably win the B1G Championship Game, and go to the Play-Off. The loser will get nothing of these. Michigan’s best player – running back Blake Corum – sustained an injury against Illinois and won’t be healthy against Ohio State. On the other side, the Buckeyes are STILL missing Jaxon Smith-Njigba, and their best running back Miyan Williams – if he plays – won’t be healthy either. But if there’s a passing game, I would take Ohio State’s CJ Stroud and Ohio State’s receivers (led by Marvin Harrison Jr) over JJ McCarthy and his band of merry men. PREDICTION: Ohio State 34, Michigan 31 in a classic that no-one in their right mind should miss.