Even more annoying than Gary Danielson’s voice, the CBS break-f0r-advert music, and SEC’s non-understanding of the holding law on Saturday was trying to work out – some hours after the dust had settled – who in the hell was the best team in the SEC.

LSU’s offense had been stymied by Auburn, but still did enough to win (if Auburn had had any offense, this article might be different). Alabama destroyed Arkansas…….but it was Arkansas.

At the bottom, it’s easier. Arkansas is the bum of the division, and might well be one of the worst Power-5 teams in the country (CONFIDENT BET: They would beat Rutgers).

I also went 4-1 straight-up this week, only missing out on Missouri’s abysmal performance against Kentucky.

Anyway, so here we go.

1. LSU (8-0): The Tigers struggled, held, bashed, and got it done against Auburn. LSU wasn’t brilliant, but they weren’t terrible. The offensive line gave Joe Burrow enough time to throw for 32 completions in 42 attempts, and for 376 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT.
2. Alabama (8-0): No Tua, no problem. The Tide whacked a horrible Arkansas team. The lightshow beforehand spurred Nick Saban’s passionate comments beforehand, although there was some annoyance that the lightshow was still going when Arkansas was trying to get a snap put together.
3. Florida (6-1): The Gators chomped through bye-week. If they can keep Jonathan Grennard and Jabari Zuniga healthy for the Cocktail Party, Dan Mullen might have a Bulldog as a scalp.
4. Georgia (6-1): The Bulldogs will hopefully have spent bye week working out a better scheme than three yards and a cloud of dust. It might work for a bit against Kentucky, but it ain’t gonna work against Florida.
5. Auburn (5-2): If only the Tigers had an offensive plan. If only. If Gus Malzahn gets fired, it will be because of his offensive plan. We also know this: Bo Nix is a freshman quarterback, and is now playing like one.
6. Texas A&M (5-3): All gamblers who took Texas A&M -10 over Mississippi State should be thanking the bookmakers for making it the easiest bet of the day.
7. Kentucky (4-4): Lynn Bowden, the converted WR-now-QB, caused Missouri a ton of problems in the Wildcats’ runaway victory in the rainstorm on Saturday. The Wildcats are a good side, and we underestimated them.
8. Tennessee (3-5): Tennessee has won two out of the last three SEC games, and dropped 41 on South Carolina in the process. The cylinders at Neyland are beginning to fire, and there’s a smile on Pruitt’s face.
9. Missouri (5-3): The Tigers’ hangover after the loss to Vanderbilt was evident, and the team is falling fast after their second straight incompetent loss. The fire under Barry Odom’s ass is warming up, too.
10. South Carolina (3-5): South Carolina WR Bryan Edwards made an unwordly catch against Tennesee, but where was the defense? After giving up 41 points, we’d say non-existent.
11. Ole Miss (3-5): Win over Bye Week. We are still unsure about Matt Luke.
12. Vanderbilt (2-5): Vandy has some momentum here. And the fact that it can’t be in worse shape than the two teams below it.
13. Mississippi State (3-5): The Bulldogs are an utter trainwreck. They didn’t put up a lot of fight against Texas A&M, and lost their fourth straight. The knives are sharpening for Joe Moorhead – despite the fact that a lot of people forget that three of his defensive players went pro last year. The offense isn’t particularly mobile, and it can’t rely simply on Kylin Hill – who actually had his best day of the season against A&M.
14. Arkansas (2-6): Chad Morris has called the Hogs in his press conference, telling the media that the Razorbacks ‘were going to win’ against Mississippi State. Right now, it’s Arkansas’ best bet to bring home, er, any sort of bacon with their 89th-ranked defense and 98th-ranked offense.

It’s Week 9 of the college football. Sadly. We don’t have a lot of this beautiful season left, but let’s enjoy this year, shall we? After all, there’s still some games to go to.

This week’s the one that a lot of people look forward to: LSU and Auburn. It’s not necessarily for the rivalry itself (both teams hate Alabama with vehemence), but for the fact that for some reason there seems to be weird things happening every time the teams play. It’s been a game where we’ve seen incredible ineptitude at field goals (Auburn’s John Vaughn – five of them – in 2005), that saw the firing of a once-beloved coach (Les Miles, 2016), cigar smoking (Auburn players in 1999), death threats (LSU’s QB Jamie Howard got a lot of them after throwing 5 fourth-quarter INTs in 1996) last second jaw-dropping catches (LSU’s Demetrius Byrd, 2007), and games where both sides have shot themselves in the foot (Auburn 2017 and 2018). Oh, and literal burning of a barn (1996).

It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and it’s a game that’s always in the Top Five of games that this writer looks forward to in the SEC every year.

1. No.9 Auburn at No.2 LSU (-10 1/2): This year, there’s no question that LSU is rolling. Joe Burrow looks like a Heisman contender, and the team is undefeated. On the other hand, Auburn fans are weirdly miserable, despite the team being 6-1 , ranked ninth in the nation, and actually looking pretty good. The bookies have Auburn as 10 1/2 point underdogs, seemingly forgetting that the Tigers have the best defense in the country. This will be closer than most people think, although LSU pulls it out at the end. PREDICTION: Bet on this at your peril. LSU by 10 after a fourth quarter touchdown. Auburn fans restart the hot seat for Gus Malzahn.
2. Arkansas at No.1 Alabama (-31): Tua isn’t playing, which ups this game in the neutral viewer’s mind from ‘This is going to be a terrible game, so I’m not going to watch it’ to a ‘I wonder how they’ll do with Mac Jones, and I might watch two quarters of it until Alabama’s up 20 at half time’. This is what makes it interesting. Arkansas is so bad though, it’s not even getting funny anymore. PREDICTION: Alabama by 42, proving the point that Mac Jones is fine, and Alabama have got more weapons than the local gun range.
3. South Carolina (-4 1/2) vs Tennessee: South Carolina didn’t get the calls to pull off the upset against Florida, but they hardly helped themselves in the rain either, giving up four leads, and Ryan Hilinski going 17-for-35. Now, they are favored when they walk into what should be an obnoxiously loud Neyland Stadium, where where we’re expecting more orange than grey in the seats, now that Big Orange is feeling hopeful again. The thoughts about Jeremy Pruitt’s tangle with his quarterback seems to be quietened after a glut of good recruiting news and keeping it close against Alabama. This might be funner than most think. PREDICTION: Tennessee wins by 7.
4. Missouri (-10) at Kentucky: Two years ago this game featured brainless plays from Missouri, as well as controversial call by the referees not to stop play during the Tigers’ final drive. It still sticks in the craw of Missouri fans. This year, there’s anotehr thing that sticks in their craw: The sheer capacity for the team to blow their feet off with awful losses. At the start of the year it was Wyoming, and then the inexcusable one against Vanderbilt last week. Kelly Bryant is meant to be a runner but doesn’t seem to want to, preferring the league to see him a touch pocket passer that he thinks is, but blatantly is not. In Kentucky, the weather is predicted to be TERRIBLE at Commonwealth Stadium. Last week Kentucky played in a game – in what seemed like monsoon conditions – and lost 21-0 to Georgia. PREDICTION: In a sloppy, ugly and weirdly fun game, Missouri wins by 7.
5. Mississippi State at Texas A&M (-10 1/2): A&M have been so darned unimpressive this year that they are less than two touchdown favorites against a team that’s falling at breakneck speed. Kellen Mond doesn’t seem to be liked by anybody, but as we’ve said repeatedly, if Jimbo Fisher allows OC Darrell Dickey to open up the playbook a bit and let him run, then people would have more confidence in him. As for Mississippi State, they don’t seem to believe in Joe Moorhead. This team lost THREE NFL first-rounders in Jeffrey Simmons, Montez Sweat and Johnathan Abram, so we weren’t going to expect a whole lot defensively from the Cowbellers, but the offense has been horrific. PREDICTION: A&M wins by 21.

LSU and Alabama once are battling it out for the best team in the SEC, and possibly in all of football.

The problems for the SEC is that they are both in the SEC West, which means that only one of them will go to Atlanta.

And at the moment, it’s hard to work out who’s better. So we went with schedule, rather than beauty. Because if it went with beauty, they would both be at No.1.

1. LSU (7-0): LSU’s offense looked human for a couple of stops against Mississippi State, and got its butt together and put up 36 in an easy victory. Joe Burrow is looking like a bona fide Heisman candidate, and the rush is also looking excellent.
2. Alabama (7-0): Alabama wasn’t very good against Tennessee, and Alabama knows it. Sure, Tua’s high ankle sprain may have hurt team confidence, but teams who have quarterbacks worse than Alabama’s backup, Mac Jones, have beaten them. The defense pulled out the stops to stop it being an embarrassment, but still.
3. Florida (6-1): The Gators may have had the benefit of the refs at stages during their hard-fought victory at rain-drenched South Carolina, but that doesn’t stop the fact that Dan Mullen’s team can beat Georgia in the Cocktail Party in a couple of weeks’ time.
4. Auburn (5-1): We thought that Auburn’s game against Arkansas would be closer than we thought. We were wrong. Auburn thrashed the putrid Razorbacks 51-0, thanks in no small part to Bo Nix’s three TD performance. We will see how they measure up in Death Valley, which could well be crazy.
5. Georgia (6-1): It was vomitously ugly for the most part against Kentucky, but the Bulldogs – after getting booed off the park in the first half, came through with a 21-0 victory. The rain didn’t help Jake Fromm & Co, but they had better be a lot better against Florida, or this will be their second ‘L’ of the season and put them out of Play-Off contention – something we thought would be impossible by early November.
6. Texas A&M (4-3): AND STILL…..THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY….
7. Missouri (5-2): Missouri was inept at Vanderbilt. Absolutely inept. Suddenly the locals are grumpy about the state of the program (again) and asking themselves if Barry Odom was the right choice. Weird, because last week they were cheering his name. Anyway, Derek Dooley didn’t get it right, but Missouri still should be the 3rd-best team in the SEC East.
8. South Carolina (3-4): The Gamecocks could have claimed their second straight upset of the day if they had had the rolls against Florida, but it wasn’t to be. USC aren’t great, but they are better than the record suggests.
9. Ole Miss (3-5): The Rebs aren’t great, but they sure put in a fight against A&M before succumbing.
10. Tennessee (2-5): UT is showing so much fight right now that the fans are starting to believe again. Will they win out? Probably not. But the fans should come back to Neyland again.
11. Kentucky (3-4): The offense showed it was inept against Georgia after getting shut-out in a biblical flood in Athens. We’re not confident going forward, either.
12. Mississippi State (3-4): The Cowbellers battled with LSU for large parts of the game, but in the end it was all about talent. And LSU had an abundance of it – and confidence. People should give Joe Moorehead more leeway after the defensive talent he lost to the NFL, though.
13. Vanderbilt (2-5): Derek Mason’s speech after the win against Missouri had all of of us fired up. The Commodores might get rid of him at the end of the season, and if that happens, he should get another job with the big boys pretty quickly as a one of the best defensive minds out there.
14. Arkansas (2-5): At what point are the big guns at the DW going to say: “This was a crappy idea of us to hire Chad Morris, we should boot his ass”. Because right now, the Razorbacks are awful and getting worse.

On paper, this is the hangover to last week’s drunken hijinks in the SEC. We saw a big party at LSU, with the booze flowing early doors, College Gameday excitement, and parachutes before the Tigers played the Florida Gators in a bruising evening game match-up. LSU won, and everyone it seems celebrated.

In Georgia, the hangovers were quite different, as hundreds of thousands of fans went from outlandish bark to tiny whine as their beloved team lost to the crowing Gamecocks of South Carolina, who left armed with some hedge branches and the biggest upset of the year so far.

On the other end of the spectrum, the smell of a steaming turd of a season festers in the nostrils of Vanderbilt fans, with those from Arkansas and Mississippi State not far behind.

Anyway, it’s Week 8 of the season. We’re going to be inspired, because, you know, it’s the SEC. So here’s our games in order of what’s going to be interesting.

1. No.9 Florida (-5) at South Carolina: With South Carolina’s victory at Georgia, suddenly Will Muschamp is loved. Dan Mullen’s loss at LSU was one of far more respectable than that of their hated rivals in red, and they seem to be in much better shape. Especially as they have a quarterback who’s not injured. We think that Tyler Hillinski’s going to be in worse shape than Will Muschamp’s letting on. Even if Florida’s without future NFLers Jonathan Greenard and Jabari Zuniga, they don’t have to really worry about a poorly Gamecock offense. PREDICTION: This will be tight until the fourth quarter, but Gators win out by 10.
2. Kentucky at No.10 Georgia (-25): Georgia’s going to come out of this one angry. Very angry. Jake Fromm will throw it less than the 51 times that he did against South Carolina, and Kentucky will be find it hard to stop D’Andre Swift, who’s been UGA’s best player this year. Mark Stoops isn’t going to comment on who will be the starter, but personally I’d give it to Lynn Bowden, who had a great game on Saturday, albeit against the off-color bacon that is Arkansas. He could challenge Georgia with his feet. PREDICTION: Georgia will be out to impress. And impress bad. Georgia by 31.
3. Texas A&M (-6) at Ole Miss: Our piece a few days ago said that is Ole Miss could find a QB who matched John Rhys Plumlee’s legs and Matt Corral’s arm, they would be golden. Texas A&M fans are fed up with being told that they are the best three-loss team in the nation, and are sick of the excuses that stem from the fact that they are an extremely ordinary side, which has finally been booted out of the Top 25 and now stands below Texas, Baylor and SMU in the Texan Pride Polls (which mean absolutely nothing but will be sure to irritate the Yellers). Fisher seems to be unsure of what to do with Kellen Mond, and the Aggies can’t produce on the ground. Crazily, this could be the game of the week. PREDICTION: Ole Miss with the upset, winning by 3. 
4. No.2 LSU (-18) at Mississippi State: While Joe Brady is college football’s flavor of the month for all his offensive work with the Tigers, Joe Moorhead’s flavor is stagnating at a speedy rate, and the locals are getting grumpy. His quarterback experiments have been disastrous, and there is absolutely no confidence in the team….as seen by the 20-10 loss to Tennessee. CBS has got it as the 3.30pm game…..probably because they like watching car crashes as the eighteen-wheeler known as Coach O’s offense crumples the Cowbells, and the defense showing that it’s OK rather than terrible for one outing (at least). We can’t believe the spread’s only 18 points, frankly. PREDICTION: LSU by 28.
5. Missouri (-21) at Vanderbilt: It takes quite a lot to annoy Vanderbilt fans, but Derek Mason has managed to do just that. This team has looked terrible all season long, and it was capped by a disastrous home swing against UNLV, where the Running Rebels ran away with a double-digit victory that didn’t look close. We thought K’Shawn Vaughn would run all over UNLV. He actually had 140 yards and a TD, but that was all Vanderbilt’s offense could muster against one of the worst defenses in the country. We aren’t kidding. So now, Missouri comes to town, and the Tigers are on fire. Weirdly enough, they are winning the SEC East, and division victory is actually Kelly Bryant & Co’s hands. PREDICTION: Fire. Derek. Mason. Now. Missouri by 24.
6. No.11 Auburn (-19) at Arkansas: We actually saw some fight from the Razorbacks for the second straight game (they could and should have beaten Texas A&M), and if Auburn aren’t careful, this one’s going to be close. We think that the Bo Nix experiment has lost its gold tinge suddenly, and the loss of Boobee Whitlow is going to make the Tigers struggle. The defense is amazing, though. PREDICTION: Closer than you might think. Auburn by 10.
7. Tennessee at No.1 Alabama (-35): Like the sun, hope seems to spring eternally for the mad men of Neyland, and they were finally rewarded by a couple of trips to the Neyland Stadium en route to a cathartic victory over Mississippi State last week. The win snapped a SEC-losing streak, and now they play Alabama in an attempt to snap a 12-game losing streak against the Tide. Well, it’s not happening today. PREDICTION: Is the third Saturday in October anything but a date anymore? Alabama by 42. 

Today was a fun yet weird week for the SEC. The weird stuff happened at Sanford Stadium in Athens, Georgia, where the  No.3 Dawgs lost in double-overtime to a South Carolina side that was a 23-point underdog, but had also lost to Alabama, Missouri and, er, North Carolina.

In Baton Rouge, LSU beat Florida 42-28 in an awesome game in the Bayou, with the Bayou Bengals surviving mostly by superior firepower on a night that featured parachutists coming down from heaven, a raucous crowd, College Gameday, and a lack of Gary Danielson.

And on the other end of the spectrum, an awful UNLV team ran away from a terrible Vanderbilt side, Tennessee got its first SEC win of the season over freefalling Mississippi State and Kentucky beat Arkansas,

Elsewhere, Alabama cruised by Texas A&M, Missouri pretty comfortably beat Ole Miss in a comfortable one.

Anyway, so here are our SEC rankings:

1. LSU (6-0): Joe Burrow is quickly becoming involved in the Heisman conversation. They beat Florida on Saturday night in a shoot-out. We know that their defense isn’t great, but their offense just keeps on coming. It should be interesting to see if passing game coordinator/wide receivers coach Joe Brady is around next year. Because of his miracles with the LSU offense this year, we suspect he’ll either get his first head coaching job or he’ll get an offensive coordinator’s job at a bigger school. He won’t be short of offers.
2. Alabama (6-0): The Alabama wide receivers are so damned quick. Tua is so damned good. Najee Harris is an unstoppabe running back. The Tide on the offense are awesome. Can LSU stop them? We will see. But right now, they are second on strength of schedule alone.
3. Florida (6-1): We said that this was a very good Gators side when they beat Auburn, and nothing has changed here. But defensive injuries meant that the Gators struggled late. Still, Dan Mullen’s team could well see Alabama or LSU in Atlanta again at the SEC Championship Game. They are that good.
4. Auburn (5-1): Idle, and watching carnage around it actually helped the Tigers. And got them healthier.
5. Missouri (5-1): Kelly Bryant has got this offense buzzing, but Cale Garrett’s injury at linebacker could take the Tigers back a few notches when they face the big boys in Florida and Georgia.
6. South Carolina (3-3): The merry-go-round that is the SEC East (Missouri beats Georgia who beats South Carolina) doesn’t mean South Carolina’s a better side than Georgia, but it happened.
7. Georgia (5-1): “I always thought they were overrated anyway” said a friend of mine – a student at Georgia – after witnessing the horror show on Saturday afternoon. For me, this has blown Georgia’s chances of getting into the play-off. Because even if the Bulldogs DO get to the SEC Championship Game, the Committee will ask the question: “Yeah, but who did they lose to?” The Bulldogs will go up the rankings again soon, but right now, they are a middle-of-the-road SEC side.
8. Texas A&M (3-3): Texas A&M lost to all the teams we thought they’d lose to, and struggled with Arkansas. This Aggies team aren’t that great.
9. Ole Miss (3-4): If Ole Miss could gel two quarterbacks into one (Corral’s arm and Plumlee’s legs), they would be golden. But right now, Ole Miss is mediocre.
10. Kentucky (3-3): We don’t know what to think of the Wildcats, but they beat Arkansas after sliding a little. They aren’t great, but they have taken a massive step back from last year. Their new QB Lynn Bowden is pretty useful, though.
11. Tennessee (2-4): The Volunteers’ victory breathed hope into the country’s laughing stock, and there is once again hope around Neyland. Who would it have happened after they went toe-to-toe for one half with Georgia.
12. Arkansas (2-4): The Razorbacks are playing with a bit of fire suddenly. Sure, the defense struggled against a Kentucky freshman QB today, giving up a 13-0 lead before losing 24-20. Right now, November 11th looms large…a match-up with Mississippi State that they should be favored in.
13. Mississippi State (2-4): We know that they beat Kentucky a couple of weeks ago, but this program is in such freefall that if you put these two together again, we’d be betting Kentucky all the way.
14. Vanderbilt (1-5): If Vanderbilt’s AD was a least bit clever, they should fire Derek Mason now and get a jump on a search for a head coach. He’s a great guy, but there’s nothing else to say. He’s got to go.

It’s Week 7 in the SEC, and things are suddenly getting interesting.

On Saturday night we’ve got the battle of the unbeatens as Florida travels to LSU. College Gameday will be there. It’s a night game in Death Valley, and thank God, Gary Danielson will not be there. Earlier, Alabama will go to Kyle Field to play Texas A&M on the CBS 3.30 game, and Georgia hosts South Carolina to start the day. Otherwise, it’s Mississippi State going to Tennessee (12pm), the battle of the NCAA-sanctioned as Ole Miss travels to Missouri, and a game that no-one should subject anyone to watch as Arkansas travels to Kentucky. Oh, and UNLV travels to Vanderbilt.

To say the least, it’s cardiac Saturday in the SEC. On both ends of the spectrum.

Anyway, once again we’re going with the order of interesting. And good. But mostly interesting.

1. No.7 Florida at No.5 LSU (-13.5): Death Valley is going be LOUD. Give Cajuns 12 hours to consume grain alcohol, and it’s going to create quite the atmosphere. Throw in a rivalry game where both sides don’t like each other (they’ve played each other every year since 1971) in the least, and the fact that the last seven games have been decided by 8 points or less. Oh, and Florida fans are still mad at LSU’s band playing during Tom Petty’s ‘I won’t back down’. No doubt that the LSU fanbase will be asking Florida’s fanbase to do something bestial to Mike The Tiger which is both dangerous and weird. There’s also the fact that both teams are unbeaten, with Florida’s defense actually playing better than LSU’s, but LSU’s offense is apparently the 5th wonder of the world (according to the press), with everyone getting orgasmic over Joe Burrow. LSU will be spreading Florida out all day, but Florida have great defensive playmakers to combat LSU. We can’t believe the spread’s as high as 13-1/2 in the favour of LSU. Prediction: LSU squeaks by 6 in a classic. 
2. No.2 Alabama (-17) at No.24 Texas A&M: No. 3 on Texas A&M’s horror show of a schedule will be at Kyle Field, as Nick Saban trots into town to face off against Jimbo Fisher, who’s having a distinctly ordinary year. The chaps at Solid Verbal pointed out that Alabama’s rush defense isn’t special, but then again, nor’s Texas A&M’s rush attack. The secondary will find Kellen Mond easy to deal with. This could get ugly early — and we’re not just talking about the poor audience who have to listen to Gary Danielson. Prediction: Alabama by 31.
3. Mississippi State (-7) at Tennessee: If you like pure, unbridled trainwreckery on both sides of the ball (if you like good offense watch Texas vs Oklahoma or if you like a good slaughter watch Georgia vs South Carolina), then THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU. I can’t think of where both teams have been good this year, but that’s what might make it interesting. For a half against Georgia, Tennessee believed in itself when QB Brian Maurer came out. He’ll face a somewhat easier defense in Mississippi State, who are struggling with so much loss on the defensive side of the ball, and aren’t great offensively either. This could be fun mayhem. Prediction: Oh screw it. Tennessee by 3. Maybe 13-10.
4. Ole Miss vs Missouri (-12): There’s a lighter air in Columbia right now, as the NCAA have told Missouri that the result of their appeal against sanctions will come to light in the next two weeks. Since their awful showing against Wyoming, Missouri has done exactly what’s been required of them. Eyes will be on Kelly Bryant and whether he’s going to be massively affected by his knee brace, but LB Cale Garrett is done for the season after getting injured against Nevada. Ole Miss showed some teeth against Alabama in the first and final quarters of that game, but we honestly don’t know what to think about the Rebels. Prediction: Missouri wins by 10.
5. South Carolina at No.3 Georgia (-23 1/2): This is going to be easy going for the Bulldogs against a very, very ordinary South Carolina team. Even if they aren’t having the best of it in the first half, Georgia can adjust so well that they can blow sides away. This will be one of the sides they blow away. Prediction: Georgia by 31
6. Arkansas vs Kentucky (-6 1/2): This is going to be one of the most odious games of the season. Prediction: Arkansas by 7 in an utter trainwreck of a game.
7. UNLV vs Vanderbilt (-15): Here’s why this is more interesting that Arkansas vs Kentucky. UNLV is 1-4 and hasn’t scored more than 23 all season, and the LOWEST the defense has given up is 30. On Vanderbilt’s side, they are 1-4 and their only victory has been against Northern Illinois. The reason why we like it is simple gambling. UNLV gives up 5.28 rush yards per game, and Vanderbilt’s not exactly awful. So here’s our prediction: Ke’Shawn Vaughn puts up 150, and Vanderbilt wins by 21. 

OTHER GAMES PREDICTIONS:

Oklahoma by 18 over Texas

Notre Dame by 21 over USC.

Stop if you’ve heard this before about recruiting: It’s an Alabama and Georgia world, and everyone else just lives in it.

Every time there was a tweet from the two schools’ Twitter during the National Signing Day flurry, there was another four or five-star recruit that wanted to play for Nick Saban or Kirby Smart.

Everywhere you looked, the Crimson Tide and the Bulldogs were in everyone’s thoughts, and it seemed a rarity when a player decided to go elsewhere.

Alabama pulled in five-star RB Trey Sanders, OT Evan Neal, and DE Antonio Alfano, while Georgia celebrated the signings of five stars OC Clay Webb, DE Jermaine Johnson, CB DJ Daniel, while DE Nolan Smith, LB Nakobe Dean, DT Travon Walker, and WR Dominik Blaylock also either signed letters of intent or enrolled early.

Georgia only signed 3 players below a four-star 24-7 ranking, while Alabama just one.

Alabama pulled in 26 commits, while Georgia had 23. Nick Saban’s number was higher due to the attrition of juniors going to the NFL.

THE SEC RULED RECRUITING

Behind them, Jimbo Fisher was doing great things in Texas, vaulting Texas A&M to 3rd overall headed up by five-stars OT Kenyan Green and DT DeMarvin Neal, while LSU was fourth. They added Baton Rouge local CB Derek Stingley, RB John Emery Jr, OC Kardell Thomas, and LB Marcel Brooks.

Whether this will lead to a deeper SEC West in 2019 with everybody beating everybody is anybody’s guess, but Georgia will probably dominate the East. 

Auburn was 11th, Florida 16th, Tennessee 17th, Mississippi State 19th, Arkansas 20th, South Carolina 22nd, and Ole Miss 23rd. Kentucky and Missouri were 32nd and 33rd respectively – although Missouri’s biggest recruit may have been the signings of the ‘silly season’ when former Clemson QB Kelly Bryant elected to play in Columbia. Vanderbilt was 51st.

Of all the rivalries in the SEC, the best name for a rivalry is the Georgia – Georgia Tech game: “Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate”. Nothing comes close.

However, there are some badass hatred flowing through the SEC.

Alabama and Auburn despise each other. Ole Miss and Mississippi State may be on a par with that….maybe worse. There’s no love lost between Clemson and South Carolina or Florida and Florida State. Tennessee – Vanderbilt always seems to pit the ‘Public School Hillbillies’ and the ‘Private School snobs’, and Louisville and Kentucky certainly aren’t fond of each other, even though the ‘Governor’s Cup’ makes it sound like a place where the fans drink sweet tea before the game, not ludicrous amounts of bourbon.

That’s where we feel a little sorry for Arkansas, LSU, Texas A&M and Missouri. There are no natural in-state rivals for these. Texas A&M vs Texas simply doesn’t exist anymore, and both sides can’t grow up enough to make this happen (ironically it could happen in the Cotton Bowl this year, but we’ll have to see about that!), so Texas A&M plays LSU, because LSU has no interesting in-state college football powers (and unless ULL, Tulane or Louisiana Tech grow rapidly, this won’t change for decades to come), and Missouri’s a new arrival, because Missouri and Kansas can’t grow up enough to continue playing the ‘Border War’ either. So Missouri plays Arkansas, because Arkansas and Arkansas State don’t want to schedule each other (it’s never happened!).

Anyway, there are also some cool rivalries happening outside the conference. There’s Ohio State vs Michigan, Notre Dame vs USC and, er, Virginia vs Virginia Tech (just kidding). There is a potentially awesome game from Morgantown (Oklahoma going to West Virginia) and a great fun game way out West (Washington vs Washington State). And there will be no love lost in the State of Arizona (Arizona vs Arizona State), Oregon (Oregon vs Oregon State (The ‘Civil War’), Utah (BYU vs Utah (The ‘Holy War’), Virginia (Virginia vs Virginia Tech), Another Florida game (USF vs UCF), Indiana (Purdue vs Indiana), North Carolina (NC State vs North Carolina), Private School North Carolina (Wake Forest vs Duke), OTHER Georgia (Georgia State vs Georgia Southern). Oh, and the game where an AXE is the winning trophy (Minnesota vs Wisconsin).

Cool, eh?

Anyway, after getting your lecture about games, it’s important we give you some tips. It’s Thanksgiving Weekend, so you’ll probably want to get your bets on beforehand.

So here are our SEC tips:

1. Iron: Auburn vs No.1 Alabama (-24): Alabama hasn’t been great the last couple of weeks – certainly not in the Citadel game, but it’s still 2-0. Auburn is simply weird. Crimson will trump weird in Tuscaloosa. Easily. PREDICTION: Alabama by 21.
2. Hate (Good Old Fashioned): Georgia Tech vs No.5 Georgia (-17): After starting the season badly (1-3), Georgia Tech has rebounded to win 6 out of the last 7. The triple-option is fun to watch, but if Georgia stop it, we don’t think they have the defense to deal with the Dawgs’ running attack. PREDICTION: Georgia by 20.
3. Hate (South Carolinian style with team fights): South Carolina vs No.2 Clemson (-27.5): South Carolina isn’t even in the same league as Clemson at the moment, so it would be shocking if this game’s close going into the third quarter. Clemson got a little bit of a wake-up call last week against Duke after sleepwalking through the first half before winning 45-6. We don’t think this’ll happen here in a hyped atmosphere. Albeit with Hunter Renfrow uncertain (he’s been listed as a starter, but we’re unsure if that’s going to be true). No fighting please, teams. PREDICTION: Clemson runs riot, winning by 30.
4. Egg: No.21 Mississippi State (-10.5) vs Ole Miss: Last week Ole Miss was jobbed out of taking the Vanderbilt to two overtimes by a terrible SEC refs call. Ole Miss has the firepower but not the defense. We’ll take defense in a fun, fun one. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 5 in a high-scoring game.
5. Oxygen mask (thanks, @Mizzodcast): No.13 Florida (-5) vs Florida State: Florida State has been awful to point of memes, while Florida has been inconsistent-to-good this year. We can’t see Florida State do anything apart from getting their quarterback killed. PREDICTION: Florida by 14.
6. Saluting Corndog: No.7 LSU at Texas A&M (-2): LSU lost its mega-test on the road this year (Florida), but it’s also been battle-tested. And if you want the definition of battle-tested, it’s Texas A&M, who played the SEC West schedule as well as Clemson and a ranked Kentucky team. Why A&M is a two-point favorite I’ll never know (it should be a pick ’em), but this one will come down to the wire. PREDICTION: LSU by 3.
7. Governor drinking a Bourbon Bottle: No.17 Kentucky at Louisville: Kentucky has been poor recently and Louisville has been more than poor all season long. There’s a reason nearly 2,000 tickets are going for as little as $32, because it’s not going to be pretty. Especially for the Cardinals, who fired Bobby Petrino mid-season because they have really, really sucked. PREDICTION: Kentucky by 25. The Wildcats may not have any offense, but then again, Louisville doesn’t have of both.
8. Orange and Gold Guitar: Tennessee vs Vanderbilt (-3.5): This game features the two worst teams in the SEC, and two of the worst four in the conference overall. It will not be pretty. We still like Ke’Shawn Vaughn from Vanderbilt, but we don’t know who UT will start behind centre with Jarrett Guarantano’s injury. PREDICTION: Vanderbilt to win pretty comfortably. By 10.
9. Musket: Arkansas vs Missouri (-22.5): Arkansas has gotten worse recently while Missouri have won three on the bounce including two meant-to-be-tough road trips at Florida and Tennessee. Missouri’s secondary actually played OK last Saturday, while Arkansas’ secondary seemed to want to play with Mississippi State cheerleaders (and have been suspended). Drew Lock should have even more fun. PREDICTION: Missouri by 30.

Meanwhile in other places:

1. THE GAME (Gotta be capital letters): No.4 Michigan (-4) vs No.10 Ohio State: Ohio State couldn’t stop the run against Maryland, and barely survived a monstrous upset. Michigan played badly against Indiana by survived by 11. It wasn’t pretty last week. Ohio State can get it going on offense, and Michigan has been renewed with Shea Patterson. With all the defense coming back last year, we knew Michigan would be pretty good this season. But not this good. PREDICTION: Michigan breaks the streak, winning by 10.
2. Apple: No.18 Washington vs No.8 Washington State (-2.5): We all want Mike Leach to get into the play-off. Washington has not been terribly interesting on its path to 8-3. PREDICTION: GO LEACH! Washington State by 7.
3. Musket: No.6 Oklahoma (-1.5) vs No.9 West Virginia: IF ANY OF YOU HAVE A ****ING CLUE WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE BIG 12 THIS YEAR PLEASE LET ME KNOW. APART FROM A TON OF POINTS AND ZERO DEFENSE. Prediction: West Virginia in 4 OTS. 
4. Oxygen Mask with Mickey Mouse Ears: No.11 UCF (-14) vs USF: By the end of this run, UCF will have more National Championships declared for it than Alabama with the Tuscaloosa News. PREDICTION: UCF by 17.
5. DESERT: Arizona State (-2) vs Arizona: If you’re a betting deviant, you’ll be tuning in late for this one. We still love Khalil Tate, but we also love Herm Edwards, who has gone from The Most Stupid Appointment In College Football to Bowl Game in one season. However, how will it go against Kevin Sumlin? PREDICTION: Arizona by 5. 
6. JOSEPH SMITH’S TABLETS: BYU vs No.19 Utah (-13.5): Did you know that the winner of this gets to take home the original Joseph Smith Tablets? Seriously. It’s true. I saw it on Bleacher Report once. PREDICTION: Utah by 21.
7. CLAY HELTON’S LAST GAME: No.3 Notre Dame (-10-5) vs USC: So bad are USC is that I don’t understand why the Irish are only 10-1/2 point favorites. The Trojans are terrible, and so is Clay Helton. PREDICTION: Notre Dame by 21.

Breaking News: Alabama did not impress us on Week 12. At half-time of the game against Citadel in Tuscaloosa, with the much-less-than-the-reported-101,000 inside Bryant-Denny Stadium still sleepy, the game was tied 10-10. The Tide couldn’t deal with the triple-option, and the offense was poor to say the least. In the second half, Alabama adjusted themselves, scoring 40 to Citadel’s 7, and everything seemed good.

I even posted on my Twitter that after Alabama’s putrid performance Clemson should be made No.1 if they comfortably beat Duke. And Clemson was awful in its first half against Duke before exploding for 45. Obviously, Clemson’s victory over an above-average Duke said counts for more than Alabama’s victory against a Citadel team, but the Play-Off Committee won’t care, bearing in mind that they haven’t decided that Washington State or UCF are worthy of a Play-Off fight.

That said, if we go on good performances from the Top 4 in the play-off this week, then we’d have to give it to Notre Dame, because they hammered Syracuse in a game that was meant to be close. Michigan was NOT impressive at home against Indiana.

On the other side of the coin, the Big-12 shot itself in the foot for a play-off place as Oklahoma didn’t play well against Kansas and West Virginia was beaten by Oklahoma State.

Anyway, we digress. The rankings for our SEC table pretty much is the same….. maybe.

1. Alabama: The Tide showed chinks in their armour against Citadel. Not a great performance by any stretch of the imagination, but this team’s still the best in the SEC.
2. Georgia: Rolled past UMass.
3. LSU: I saw Rice a few weeks ago in Houston and said back then that they were absolutely terrible. The game was over by 1 1/2 quarters in Tiger Stadium. We’ll move on now.
4. Missouri: As has been mentioned, the Tigers should be 9-2. The wasting of Tennessee in Neyland showed what they can do.
5. Mississippi State: Dropped 52 on Arkansas. It’s Arkansas, but then again, Mississippi State’s offense was doomed about a month ago, wasn’t it (Bama excluded!).
6. Texas A&M: A better than win than most people will give them credit for against UAB.
7. Florida: The Gators are on a good trajectory at the moment. If they are this inconsistent now, imagine what things might be like next season.
8. Auburn: Whipped Liberty quickly on the last game of the season in Jordan-Hare. A small game in Tuscaloosa will close out the season next week.
9. Kentucky: The Wildcats are creaking. It wasn’t comfortable against Middle Tennessee, but Josh Allen and the defensive guys got it done in the end (after conceding 23 points).
10. South Carolina: I can’t even remember who they beat soundly this week. Let me look it up…Oh yeah, Chattanooga.
11. Vanderbilt: The ‘Dores got lucky in their overtime win over Ole Miss with a disputed/B.S. call. But then again, #SECRefs.
12. Ole Miss: Got diddled out of a second OT by the SEC refs. The defense is as porous as ever.
13. Tennessee: WELCOME BACK to the Bottom 2 Tennesssee. The injury to Jarrett Guarantano didn’t help, but the offensive line? Dear Lord.
14. Arkansas: Razorbacks = Terrible.

IMPRESSED

1. Citadel: Played their behinds off against Alabama. Their triple-option worked in the first half. They were even leading. Alabama didn’t know how to cope. Even after their eventual loss, this team was getting all the plaudits. And good on ’em.
2. Missouri’s win at Tennessee: After their pretty-much-terrible performance against Vanderbilt and the Vols’ stunning win against Kentucky, we thought that Tigers were ripe for the upset at Neyland. Instead, they dropped 50 in Neyland, and looked really good.

NOT IMPRESSED

1. SEC Refs: I spoke to a journalist friend of mine and he told me that he’d never criticise the refs because ‘they do the best job they can do’. After jobbing Ole Miss out of the chance to go to a second overtime with a terrible call, again you’d argue this: Is this actually the best job they can do?
2. Alabama: Unmotivated in the first half against Citadel. When the biggest highlight of the game was Jalen Hurts coming out in the fourth quarter, you know that this is a cr*p performance

We didn’t want to admit it, but 85% (12 out of 14) of SEC teams are really, really ordinary. Some might be even worse than that.

SEC fans will tell you that the ‘ordinariness’ isn’t in fact that, it’s the fact that ‘anyone can beat anyone on ANY GIVEN SATURDAY IN THE SEC’, and that’s what makes the SEC so great, and other conferences so suck-worthy.

Of course, it’s the notion of ‘Every Given Saturday’ that makes college football so awesome, and not just the SEC.

But in fact, the SEC, B1G and ACC have something in common: They all boast a team that hasn’t won an in-conference game all season (Arkansas, Louisville, Rutgers).

And apart from Georgia and Alabama, everyone else in the SEC has two or more in-conference losses, meaning that no-one particularly stands out, meaning that my listings of ‘Power Rankings’ in the SEC against the notion of Who Was Impressive from week-to-week in the SEC gets hurt.

Despite all my whining, here’s my rankings for the SEC. We’re going in terms of less power, more ordinary.

1. Alabama: EXTRA-ORDINARY TEAM. ESPECIALLY THE REFS AGAINST MISSISSIPPI STATE. IN NICK SABAN’S FAVOUR.
2. Georgia: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY HAD THEIR OFFENSIVE MISCUES AGAINST GEORGIA IN THE FIRST HALF. Y’ALL’S GOT TO BE PERFECT IF Y’ALL ARE GOING TO BEAT ALABAMA, Y’ALL.
3. LSU: ORDINARY BECAUSE NICK BROSSETTE TOOK TWO KNEES INSIDE THE 5 AGAINST ARKANSAS AND LSU DIDN’T COVER THE SPREAD (Just kidding!).
4. Mississippi State: ORDINARY BECAUSE THE SEC REFS MADE THEM ORDINARY (And Nick Fitzgerald slid for the first down but didn’t make it because he slid too early).
5. Auburn: ORDINARY BECAUSE DEAR LORD HAVE YOU SEEN THAT OFFENSE?
6. Texas A&M: ORDINARY BECAUSE THERE’S NO BETTER FOUR-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY WHO CAN BEAT OLE MISS.
7. Kentucky: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY LOSE TO 4-5 TENNESSEE EASILY (AND HAVE NO OFFENSE) AS A RANKED TEAM, AND THE BIGGEST LAUGH OF THE WEEKEND CAME FROM WHAT HAPPENED AT LOUISVILLE.
8. Missouri: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YET SOMEHOW BARRY ODOM KEEPS SAVING HIS BUTT
9. Florida: ORDINARY BECAUSE THE FANS DON’T FILL THE SWAMP FOR THE SPURRIER-MUSCHAMP BOWL.
10. South Carolina: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO RUN DEFENSE.
11. Tennessee: ORDINARY BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED AT THE END OF FULMER’S REIGN TO THE END OF THE BUTCH JONES’ REIGN. LIKE A LOT OF LADIES IN THE SMOKIES, IT HAD ONE TOOTH AND A METH PROBLEM.
12. Vanderbilt: ORDINARY BECAUSE SOMETIMES RICH KIDS DON’T GET GREAT THINGS.
13. Ole Miss: THAT DEFENSE AIN’T ORDINARY, IT’S DOGS—-.
14. Arkansas: SOON THE ORDINARY-TO-BAD SEASON WILL BE OVER, AND TUSKY WILL REALISE THAT HE PICKED A NICE TEAM TO RETIRE. UNTIL HE’S MADE INTO BRISKET.

But there were things that impressed us this week:

1. Meredith and Luke were first in line waiting for the SEC Network to come along to Fayetteville, which got them a nice coach on set. The bad news for Meredith and Luke is that after the SEC Saturday Network crew had left, they had to sit and watch LSU handle their team. Not that they aren’t used to their team being handled, mind.
2. Nick Brosette: The LSU RBs may have broken Vegas hearts by not running in for the score, but taking two knees at the end was the height of sportsmanship.
3. Mississippi State’s defense: Were exceptional in the second half against the Tide. Completely and utterly suffocated Bama’s offensive line.

But some things really, really got under our skin:

1. SEC refs in the Alabama – Mississippi State game: HOW WAS THAT NOT A FUMBLE? HOW WAS THAT A BLOCK IN THE BACK? Hell, even Gary Danielson, who’s got his head so far up Nick Saban’s behind that when Saban opens his mouth they see two pairs of teeth said repeatedly: “That’s a fumble”. The SEC has to deal with its referees. Right now, the conference is looking worse and worse.
2. South Carolina: How did the offense go from 31 points to zero in The Swamp. Could there have been a worse half-time team talk than Will Muschamp’s at half-time.
3. Auburn: The offense is still clueless. Especially the offensive line, which is plain awful.