Today was a fun yet weird week for the SEC. The weird stuff happened at Sanford Stadium in Athens, Georgia, where the  No.3 Dawgs lost in double-overtime to a South Carolina side that was a 23-point underdog, but had also lost to Alabama, Missouri and, er, North Carolina.

In Baton Rouge, LSU beat Florida 42-28 in an awesome game in the Bayou, with the Bayou Bengals surviving mostly by superior firepower on a night that featured parachutists coming down from heaven, a raucous crowd, College Gameday, and a lack of Gary Danielson.

And on the other end of the spectrum, an awful UNLV team ran away from a terrible Vanderbilt side, Tennessee got its first SEC win of the season over freefalling Mississippi State and Kentucky beat Arkansas,

Elsewhere, Alabama cruised by Texas A&M, Missouri pretty comfortably beat Ole Miss in a comfortable one.

Anyway, so here are our SEC rankings:

1. LSU (6-0): Joe Burrow is quickly becoming involved in the Heisman conversation. They beat Florida on Saturday night in a shoot-out. We know that their defense isn’t great, but their offense just keeps on coming. It should be interesting to see if passing game coordinator/wide receivers coach Joe Brady is around next year. Because of his miracles with the LSU offense this year, we suspect he’ll either get his first head coaching job or he’ll get an offensive coordinator’s job at a bigger school. He won’t be short of offers.
2. Alabama (6-0): The Alabama wide receivers are so damned quick. Tua is so damned good. Najee Harris is an unstoppabe running back. The Tide on the offense are awesome. Can LSU stop them? We will see. But right now, they are second on strength of schedule alone.
3. Florida (6-1): We said that this was a very good Gators side when they beat Auburn, and nothing has changed here. But defensive injuries meant that the Gators struggled late. Still, Dan Mullen’s team could well see Alabama or LSU in Atlanta again at the SEC Championship Game. They are that good.
4. Auburn (5-1): Idle, and watching carnage around it actually helped the Tigers. And got them healthier.
5. Missouri (5-1): Kelly Bryant has got this offense buzzing, but Cale Garrett’s injury at linebacker could take the Tigers back a few notches when they face the big boys in Florida and Georgia.
6. South Carolina (3-3): The merry-go-round that is the SEC East (Missouri beats Georgia who beats South Carolina) doesn’t mean South Carolina’s a better side than Georgia, but it happened.
7. Georgia (5-1): “I always thought they were overrated anyway” said a friend of mine – a student at Georgia – after witnessing the horror show on Saturday afternoon. For me, this has blown Georgia’s chances of getting into the play-off. Because even if the Bulldogs DO get to the SEC Championship Game, the Committee will ask the question: “Yeah, but who did they lose to?” The Bulldogs will go up the rankings again soon, but right now, they are a middle-of-the-road SEC side.
8. Texas A&M (3-3): Texas A&M lost to all the teams we thought they’d lose to, and struggled with Arkansas. This Aggies team aren’t that great.
9. Ole Miss (3-4): If Ole Miss could gel two quarterbacks into one (Corral’s arm and Plumlee’s legs), they would be golden. But right now, Ole Miss is mediocre.
10. Kentucky (3-3): We don’t know what to think of the Wildcats, but they beat Arkansas after sliding a little. They aren’t great, but they have taken a massive step back from last year. Their new QB Lynn Bowden is pretty useful, though.
11. Tennessee (2-4): The Volunteers’ victory breathed hope into the country’s laughing stock, and there is once again hope around Neyland. Who would it have happened after they went toe-to-toe for one half with Georgia.
12. Arkansas (2-4): The Razorbacks are playing with a bit of fire suddenly. Sure, the defense struggled against a Kentucky freshman QB today, giving up a 13-0 lead before losing 24-20. Right now, November 11th looms large…a match-up with Mississippi State that they should be favored in.
13. Mississippi State (2-4): We know that they beat Kentucky a couple of weeks ago, but this program is in such freefall that if you put these two together again, we’d be betting Kentucky all the way.
14. Vanderbilt (1-5): If Vanderbilt’s AD was a least bit clever, they should fire Derek Mason now and get a jump on a search for a head coach. He’s a great guy, but there’s nothing else to say. He’s got to go.

It’s Week 7 in the SEC, and things are suddenly getting interesting.

On Saturday night we’ve got the battle of the unbeatens as Florida travels to LSU. College Gameday will be there. It’s a night game in Death Valley, and thank God, Gary Danielson will not be there. Earlier, Alabama will go to Kyle Field to play Texas A&M on the CBS 3.30 game, and Georgia hosts South Carolina to start the day. Otherwise, it’s Mississippi State going to Tennessee (12pm), the battle of the NCAA-sanctioned as Ole Miss travels to Missouri, and a game that no-one should subject anyone to watch as Arkansas travels to Kentucky. Oh, and UNLV travels to Vanderbilt.

To say the least, it’s cardiac Saturday in the SEC. On both ends of the spectrum.

Anyway, once again we’re going with the order of interesting. And good. But mostly interesting.

1. No.7 Florida at No.5 LSU (-13.5): Death Valley is going be LOUD. Give Cajuns 12 hours to consume grain alcohol, and it’s going to create quite the atmosphere. Throw in a rivalry game where both sides don’t like each other (they’ve played each other every year since 1971) in the least, and the fact that the last seven games have been decided by 8 points or less. Oh, and Florida fans are still mad at LSU’s band playing during Tom Petty’s ‘I won’t back down’. No doubt that the LSU fanbase will be asking Florida’s fanbase to do something bestial to Mike The Tiger which is both dangerous and weird. There’s also the fact that both teams are unbeaten, with Florida’s defense actually playing better than LSU’s, but LSU’s offense is apparently the 5th wonder of the world (according to the press), with everyone getting orgasmic over Joe Burrow. LSU will be spreading Florida out all day, but Florida have great defensive playmakers to combat LSU. We can’t believe the spread’s as high as 13-1/2 in the favour of LSU. Prediction: LSU squeaks by 6 in a classic. 
2. No.2 Alabama (-17) at No.24 Texas A&M: No. 3 on Texas A&M’s horror show of a schedule will be at Kyle Field, as Nick Saban trots into town to face off against Jimbo Fisher, who’s having a distinctly ordinary year. The chaps at Solid Verbal pointed out that Alabama’s rush defense isn’t special, but then again, nor’s Texas A&M’s rush attack. The secondary will find Kellen Mond easy to deal with. This could get ugly early — and we’re not just talking about the poor audience who have to listen to Gary Danielson. Prediction: Alabama by 31.
3. Mississippi State (-7) at Tennessee: If you like pure, unbridled trainwreckery on both sides of the ball (if you like good offense watch Texas vs Oklahoma or if you like a good slaughter watch Georgia vs South Carolina), then THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU. I can’t think of where both teams have been good this year, but that’s what might make it interesting. For a half against Georgia, Tennessee believed in itself when QB Brian Maurer came out. He’ll face a somewhat easier defense in Mississippi State, who are struggling with so much loss on the defensive side of the ball, and aren’t great offensively either. This could be fun mayhem. Prediction: Oh screw it. Tennessee by 3. Maybe 13-10.
4. Ole Miss vs Missouri (-12): There’s a lighter air in Columbia right now, as the NCAA have told Missouri that the result of their appeal against sanctions will come to light in the next two weeks. Since their awful showing against Wyoming, Missouri has done exactly what’s been required of them. Eyes will be on Kelly Bryant and whether he’s going to be massively affected by his knee brace, but LB Cale Garrett is done for the season after getting injured against Nevada. Ole Miss showed some teeth against Alabama in the first and final quarters of that game, but we honestly don’t know what to think about the Rebels. Prediction: Missouri wins by 10.
5. South Carolina at No.3 Georgia (-23 1/2): This is going to be easy going for the Bulldogs against a very, very ordinary South Carolina team. Even if they aren’t having the best of it in the first half, Georgia can adjust so well that they can blow sides away. This will be one of the sides they blow away. Prediction: Georgia by 31
6. Arkansas vs Kentucky (-6 1/2): This is going to be one of the most odious games of the season. Prediction: Arkansas by 7 in an utter trainwreck of a game.
7. UNLV vs Vanderbilt (-15): Here’s why this is more interesting that Arkansas vs Kentucky. UNLV is 1-4 and hasn’t scored more than 23 all season, and the LOWEST the defense has given up is 30. On Vanderbilt’s side, they are 1-4 and their only victory has been against Northern Illinois. The reason why we like it is simple gambling. UNLV gives up 5.28 rush yards per game, and Vanderbilt’s not exactly awful. So here’s our prediction: Ke’Shawn Vaughn puts up 150, and Vanderbilt wins by 21. 

OTHER GAMES PREDICTIONS:

Oklahoma by 18 over Texas

Notre Dame by 21 over USC.

Texas A&M vs Alabama didn’t need a lot of hype after Johnny Manziel beat the Tide almost single-handedly in 2012, and was great in 2013 too. The rivalry took some time off in 2014 and 2015, after the games were basically a replay of SlaughterHouse 5: Saban Version, when the Tide massacred the Aggies.

But the 2016 version? Wow. This could be AWESOME. Both teams are unbeaten atop the SEC West, and there’s talk about title games, play-off entries and the suchlike. It’s going to awesome.

Elsewhere, LSU faces its first test after the arrival of Ed Orgeron with the visit of Ole Miss, and Arkansas goes to Auburn. Elsewhere, Mississippi State vs Kentucky WILL BE PLAYED AND SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO WATCH IT, and the same could probably be applied to UMass’ visit to South Carolina, Middle Tennessee State’s trip to Missouri, and Tennessee State’s wander to Vandy.

So, here’s your SEC games in order of importance:

1. No.6 Texas A&M vs No.1 Alabama

Alabama scorched ‘tough’ road opponents Arkansas and Tennessee in the last weeks so badly that Vegas believes the Crimson Tide will run out 17 point winners. But the believers – and most of them are wearing Aggie colors – believe that Trevor Knight – who’s actually beaten Alabama before when he was at Oklahoma – could do it again, and believe that if Knight’s accurate and the offensive line don’t get him killed, then Alabama’s secondary could be worried by the speed of Texas A&M’s wide receivers. They’ll also tell you that Myles Garrett’s one of the best defensive players who ever lived. And it’s hard not to agree. But then again, Alabama’s defense keeps on scoring touchdowns. Lane Kiffin’s tactical genius is helping to making the offense so damned difficult to stop. And if the game DOES go down to the wire, do you trust Alabama’s kicker or Texas A&M’s, the latter who’s shank will still go down long in history as one of the worst you’ll see in a long time. I’m taking Alabama.

PREDICTION: Vegas has Alabama as an 18-point favorite. I’m sorry, that’s cautious for me. Take Alabama, but by under 18.

2. No. 23 Ole Miss at No.25 LSU

This is Ed Orgeron’s first real game in charge of the Tigers (it would have been the second had Florida not been cancelled blah blah blah blah…), and it comes at a time when Ole Miss is reeling from its loss against Arkansas (again). Tiger Stadium will be rocking, and Coach ‘O’ has promised that both Darius Guice and Leonard Fournette will play, which could prove to be a double-fun combination. I’m still a little scared by LSU’s lack of great quarterback play, and if Ole Miss stifles the run (which it hasn’t done so far this season), Ole Miss could be in trouble. But there’s one thought that I like: This one could be a shoot-out. And the reason is this: LSU’s defense has played well, but it hasn’t played that well, and it certainly hasn’t played an offense like Ole Miss’ one. This could be fun.

PREDICTION: LSU by 7 – beating Vegas’ 6-point stance – but we also like the OVER of 60.5. 

3. No.17 Arkansas vs No. 21 Auburn

Auburn have slowly impressed me so far this season (I saw them play against Clemson, LSU, a little against Texas A&M and Mississippi State), and for the first time in years, we’re talking more about the Tiger’s defense than offense. I’m still not crying with joy about Sean White and what the time has to offer, but it should have better against an Arkansas team who doesn’t have a lot defensively either. But this year, Arkansas games are damned fun to watch. I can’t think of a dull one I’ve seen (sorry, I didn’t catch the blow-outs!).

PREDICTION: Auburn’s a 10-point favorite and we’d like to implore you NOT to take it. Take the over for 55-1/2 though. 

4. Mississippi State vs Kentucky

This will be terrible, but on the other hand, this could be one of the East’s wins against the West’s. So….. (I’m done now).

PREDICTION: Mississippi State walk into Kentucky as 7-point favorites, probably buoyed by the performance at BYU and the fact that Kentucky’s defense is laughable. So that’s why we’re taking Kentucky in the upset. 

BIG PREDICTIONS OTHERWISE: Missouri to beat Middle Tennessee State by MORE THAN 6-1/2; Vanderbilt to beat Tennessee State; and South Carolina to beat UMass by 28. 

Starting QB Jeremy Johnson has been benched by head coach Gus Malzahn after three awful performances for the Tigers, culminating in a humiliation in Death Valley by LSU.

Taking his place will be redshirt freshman Sean White, who came to The Plains as the eighth-best pro-style quarterback in the country, and 22nd overall player in Florida.

Johnson went 43-72 for 473 yards, 5 TDs and 6 INTs — and the interceptions number could have been double that. He’s also been sacked five times.

6-0 White was the Elite 11 MVP during his senior season at high school, according to AL.com, and apparently he’s not the running threat that Johnson is.

Auburn fans will be hoping that he holds onto the ball better.

BOTTOM LINE: The benching of Johnson smacks of desperation from Malzahn. White battled with Johnson for the starting QB in the Spring….and lost. Is this going to come out any better?

Kevin Sumlin, the Texas A&M head coach, has admitted that thr straight losses to LSU led him to hiring new defensive co-ordinator John Chavis.

Firstly, the question: “Coach, you guys played LSU the last three seasons. They held you to under 20 points in all three games, all losses. Did you kind of take the mindset, if we can’t beat LSU and John Chavis, I’ll go hire him away?” Sumlin’s answer was brutal and to-the-point: “I didn’t kind of. That’s exactly what I did. There’s really nothing more to the answer than that. That’s true. We’ve studied the defense. We get it. We struggled. It’s a great fit for us and a great fit for him. He was ready for a new challenge. We were in the market, obviously, and here’s a guy who’s got a tremendous track record in the SEC and recently in the SEC West. So his knowledge of opponents, his knowledge of the league helps me as a head coach, but it also helps our team and brings confidence right away to a defense that really needed it. His style, we’ve studied it so much over the course of the last three years in the off-season to try to get better.”

Sumlin noted that Chavis’ arrival is certain to going to excitement in Tiger Stadium. “When I walk in the stadium, they don’t seem pretty happy about me walking in there in the first place. I don’t know if it can get any more spicier than it is now. It’s been a game that ten years ago was still a really, really big football game with Texas A&M and LSU. So there’s always subplots. There’s story lines. You know, you got guys we’re recruiting, the same guys. I get a big hug from Jamal Adams right before the game, and then he goes out and just tries to knock our guys out. So we’ve got guys on both sides of the field. We’re recruiting Louisiana. They’re recruiting Texas. We’ve got all kinds of story lines involved, but certainly people want to make it what it is. Everybody’s always going to look for some reason to ratchet it up a bit, you know. Just like when Nick left LSU and went to Alabama, you never know. People are going to do what they’re going to do.”

He added that the current lawsuit that Chavis is embroiled in with LSU and Texas A&M “hasn’t been a distraction” to him.

He was also quick to defend Texas A&M’s choice of playing two games at neutral site venues instead of just the one. “If I had my way, we’d play all 12 games at home, but they’re not going to let that happen. For us in a recruiting standpoint, it’s been very, very helpful…..This year we’re going to play, open at NRG, which is just a fabulous facility in Houston that’s hosted the Super Bowl, and we play in Arlington every year. So you’re going to play in the best stadiums there are. Not only in the state of Texas, but probably in the country. And then we go on the road, it’s passion and great fans across the SEC. So I think I know that, as we recruit and we talk about bigtime venues and putting guys on a stage that it really, really shows who they are and how they play and gives them the exposure that they want these types of games and these types of venues. I see the better players in the country wanting to be a part of that.”

The LSU Spring Game is on Saturday, but it seems like a late April Fool’s piece without the jigsaw.

Anyway, here’s some Spring Game thoughts:

WHO CAN FILL THE QUARTERBACK HOLE?

Let’s get this straight: Anthony Jennings started his career with LSU in pretty impressive fashion, leading the Tigers to a breathtaking last-ditch win over Arkansas last year, before not particularly impressing anybody in the Tigers 21-14 Outback Bowl win. He hasn’t had a game where he’s passed over 100 yards, and he’s hasn’t actually excited anyone either.

It’ll be interesting to see how Jennings, freshmen Brandon Harris and Hayden Rettig play in the Spring Game – Les Miles is going to give all of them chances to impress (you hope).

RUN OR NOT TO RUN?

Their top running back signee and potentially No.1 starter at the position, Leonard Fournette is the most intriguing…..but he’s at high school still. Terrance Magee and Kenny Hilliard will be vying to replace the fantastic Jeremy Hill, who’s going to the NFL early, armed with a hell of a lot of skill, a bad temper, and a terrible blindside. So that means that all eyes should be on the Magee-Hilliard battle for a place, if LSU are going to have a 1-2 punch. Magee averaged 7.28 yards per carry last season, although that number probably is a little inflated due to Hill’s suspension for his ‘BlindSide At TigerLand’.

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

The sad news for LSU is Odell Beckham and Jarvis Landry – two of their best wide receivers – are gone. Both are exceptional receivers and hopefully will be top picks in the position. Some people bemoaned Landry’s speed at the Combine, but the kid’s got some of the best hands in the nation.

To replace them is going to be difficult. Travin Dural and redshirt freshman John Diarse will be well-watched on Saturday. They’d better make an impression, because LSU’s loaded freshman class coming in in the summer, which includes Malachi Dupre and Trey Quinn, could take immediate No.1 and No.2 spots.

Rob Bolden’s apparently still playing college football. He’s moved out to wide receiver. Offensive Co-Ordinator Cam Cameron must see something in the former Penn State starting quarterback. We look forward to seeing (if he’s got) some skills on Saturday.

OH, AND ABOUT THE D….

LSU’s ‘D’ was pretty horrible last year. That’s not to say that they didn’t have a ton of talent, but the missed tackles, unwillingness seemingly to catch up with a runner and giving quarterbacks too much time to throw made a formerly predictably excellent defense look, well, poor. And yes, we realize that large components of the 2012 decided to go to the NFL, but lookit: What were the back-ups doing practice when the starters were playing so well?

We can’t believe Anthony ‘The Freak’ Johnson is going to the NFL. He was one of the biggest disappointments in college football – and that’s saying a lot when Jadeveon Clowney didn’t exactly live up to scratch (although Clowney was double-teamed at every opportunity).

Anyway, we can’t wait to see how good Kendall Beckwith is at linebacker, although there are worries about his weight. We can’t wait to see how he teams up with started DJ Welter. And taking Johnson’s place we’ll see a battle between Christian LaCourture, Quentin Thomas, Greg Gilmore and Maquedius Bain for starting DT spots. I think Johnson’s going to be pretty replaceable.

And as for the secondary? That could be a bunch of fun in itself come Saturday. It was poor all season long, and it’ll be interesting who John Chavis has to make sure the mess is a little less messy this time around.

And so, it’s set up. After a glorious bat-crap crazy Saturday in which Auburn beat Alabama to a place at a National Championship Game with a 106-yard field goal return for a TD, Missouri earned its spot in Atlanta by beating Texas A&M in Columbia by 7 in a tough, tough game, Georgia came back from 20 to beat Georgia Tech in two overtimes (we see you, Todd Gurley), Mississippi State won the Egg Bowl because Bo Wallace slipped over and fumbled on route to the end zone, LSU beat Arkansas with a fling with 40 seconds left with their replacement quarterback, Aaron Jennings (who we hadn’t heard of until now), and South Carolina won the Palmetto War against Clemson (Clemson Clemson’d their way to SIX turnovers) and Vanderbilt just got by Wake Forest (we see you, Jordan Matthews), we can say this: SEC, it’s been a hell of a run this year.

(And yes, we did notice that Florida was eviscerated by Florida State at home and Tennessee got by Kentucky because of UK’s lack of offense).

So here’s our SEC Power Rankings after the, sniff, sniff, regular season of the SEC.

1. AUBURN: It’s doesn’t matter that they won the game in the craziest Iron Bowl you and I will ever see, or the fact that Alabama missed three field goals, or the fact that Nick Marshall missed two easy TD throws, because you know what? THEY WON THE IRON BOWL. They are the best out West, yo. Auburn will really, really regret the loss at LSU now, particularly bearing in mind LSU’s struggles this week with Arkansas. and loss to Ole Miss.

2. ALABAMA: Losing in the heartbreaking-circumstances-that-should-never-have-happened-if-Cade-Foster-had-hit-three-field-goals is no disgrace, Alabama. You’re still one of the best teams in the country in my book.

3. MISSOURI: Great defensive job on Johnny Manziel, limiting Mr Football’s options and throws. Giving up 21 is pretty good. We also liked SOME of James Franklin’s throws to L’Damian Washington and Dorial Green-Beckham. We will say this: Franklin missed some pretty open shots, too. But the defense? Oh my gosh. When you give Johnny Manziel only 21 rushing yards, you’ve done something good.

4. SOUTH CAROLINA: Ruined Clemson’s day by causing the Tigers to cough up not one, not two, but SIX turnovers. They caused three fumbles and three interceptions. That’s pretty good work. Scored two TDs in the fourth quarter to ensure fifth straight win over Clemson. Spurrier can go back to trolling Dabo, the SEC (they beat Missouri this year and STILL aren’t going to the SEC East title game), and college football now….as well as rootin’ for Duke.

5. LSU: Excellent performance against Texas A&M ruined by a poor performance at home to Arkansas, where they couldn’t get anything really right. Anthony Jennings’ prayer to Travin Duval with 1.15 left was more an Arkansas safety gone on Thanksgiving Vacation than great positioning. The ‘Vaunted Tiger Defense’ was about as Vaunted as the Atlanta Falcons D is in the NFL. Sure, they’ll be pretty good with Jeremy Hill coming back, but without Jarvis Landry (who made some circus catches), Odell Beckham (who got injured early), and Zach Mettenberger (who got injured late), this might not be a good BOWL team, people. Oh, and Anthony ‘The Freak’ Johnson? We prefer Anthony ‘Let-Down’ Johnson. Stay in school for another year, son.

6. TEXAS A&M: The slide of Texas A&M continued when their offense was stymied to ‘just’ 21 points and 379 yards. Johnny Manziel was good if not great, and his usual great receivers were completely suffocated. The defense’s better play this week was more because of the inane talent of Missouri QB James Franklin to miss wide-open receivers than anything else. Sorry, Mark Snyder, you have to go.

7. GEORGIA: Went 20 points down against Georgia Tech, and we thought: “Go, Georgia fans. Go to The Cheetah and at least watch the rest of the game while having a bit of fun”, but then they came back. They came back great. They tied it up at 27 with 4 to go in the 4th quarter, and Todd Gurley took over the overtime bit. And then the defense picked up. Maybe that’s why Mark Richt decided not to fire Todd Grantham, because of the way the team’s defense performed in the second half of the Georgia Tech game. We really hope this wasn’t a snap decision. For your sake, Mark. Oh, and it would have been interesting to see what Georgia was like IF THEY HAD STAYED HEALTHY ALL YEAR LONG.

8. MISSISSIPPI STATE: They jumped up to (nearly) tie with Ole Miss because despite the fact they were obviously less talented than the Rebels, their defense played out of their mind and it was Dak Prescott at the end (his legs, anyway), that took the Egg Bowl to Starkville. You own this state (for now), Bulldogs!

9. OLE MISS: Lost laughably to Mississippi State. The bit where we laughed was Bo Wallace tripping over THE GHOST OF ARCHIE MANNING and fumbling the ball in the end-zone while on route to the game-tying overtime touchdown. The funny news? Wallace’s fumble in the scheme of the nuttiness we saw in college football all weekend long seemed actually quite sane. This team’s going to be good in 2014 or 2015, yo.

10. VANDERBILT: Jordan Matthews is one of the best receivers the SEC has ever seen. There is no doubt about that. However, we DO doubt about struggling with Wake Forest. At home.

11. FLORIDA: Fired OC Brent Pease today after the Gators joke of an offense was throttled by the Seminoles on Saturday afternoon. The offense had been horrible all season long, too. Pease was deservedly fired. Would have been interesting to see what Florida was like IF THEY HAD STAYED HEALTHY ALL YEAR LONG (a few injuries we get, but what happened to the Gators was beyond a joke, God).

12. TENNESSEE: Beat Kentucky to confirm that…..er…..they can beat Kentucky. Still, the Vols are (still) riding high on their upset of South Carolina and (near) upset of Georgia. Butch Jones has some green shoots.

13. ARKANSAS: Bret Bielema looked wiped out after the loss to LSU. And it’s not surprising. Arkansas, for almost the first time in the SEC since their first half of their loss to Florida, out-played and out-passioned a lifeless LSU in Tiger Stadium on Friday, but then their safety went to sleep, and the Razorbacks lost. You could say: “Well, that summed up a season”, but the offense was actually better than it had been all season.

14. KENTUCKY: We feel sorry for the Kentucky fan who hates basketball. There is one, right?

Right, it’s been a mad week in College Football – so much so that we’re going to rank our Top 14 straight away.

Without further ado, here’s where we are:

1) Alabama – Rolled to a 28-point lead over Missouri until the rains came. Then looked really scrappy, but the Tide dealt with the tests. And news just in: Eddie Lacy’s a beast. And so is that defensive line.

2) Florida – It wasn’t pretty against Vanderbilt, but it was effective. Jeff Driskell’s beginning to (whisper) remind people of (whisper) Tim Tebow. Oh, and that defense is as good as we thought they were. We’ll see how good the offensive line is against South Carolina. That game’s going to be a war in Gainseville.

3) LSU – That atmosphere in Tiger Stadium on Saturday night. My God. That atmosphere. Oh, and the offensive line and running game was HUGE, even if Zach Mettenberger really wasn’t. He made some nice throws though. And some awful ones.

4) South Carolina – Came to play in Tiger Stadium, but they couldn’t deal with the Bayou Bengals. Were they intimidated? Can you possibly say: Maybe??

5) Georgia – There is a half of a tree in the SEC, and the Bulldogs are on the bottom rung of the top half.

6) Mississippi State – A bit of drama in their win over Tennessee in Cowbell Central, but this is the first victory for Dan Mullen over team which isn’t that awful this season. Tyler Russell’s a solid QB, people. We can’t wait for the showdown with Alabama.

7) Texas A&M – We love Johnny Manziel. We’re not so convinced by the Aggies defense. Especially after last night, when they gave up 57 to Louisiana Tech. But they scored 59 – and that’s what matters.

8) Ole Miss – Great win by Ole Miss to get the monkey off their back and break a 16-game losing streak. And yes, we know it was Auburn, but did the Grove get rolled?

9) Vanderbilt – Played well against Florida – especially during the first quarter – but James Franklin’s side still lacked the edge to take Vandy to where they’ll be relevant this year. Still, Tennessee had better not sleep on the Commodores (if that’s a compliment).

10) Tennessee – We love the offense (they have a lot of it), but we loathe the defense (they have none). Which is why they couldn’t cause the upset in Starkville on Saturday night – even though they had the Bulldogs close.

11) Arkansas – We’ll go as far as saying we think a Razorbacks- Tennessee match-up would be like watching a Big XII game. Little defense, plenty of octane. The Hogs humiliated Kentucky for three quarters, before God intervened and got the game called off.

12) Missouri – Horrific weather conditions made you sorry for the student support which stuck around to watch the Tigers get put into their cage by the Crimson Tide. Still, they helped Verne & Gary be their sarcastic best.

13) Auburn – This team is awful.

14) Kentucky – This team is even worse than Auburn. And that’s saying something.