Even more annoying than Gary Danielson’s voice, the CBS break-f0r-advert music, and SEC’s non-understanding of the holding law on Saturday was trying to work out – some hours after the dust had settled – who in the hell was the best team in the SEC.

LSU’s offense had been stymied by Auburn, but still did enough to win (if Auburn had had any offense, this article might be different). Alabama destroyed Arkansas…….but it was Arkansas.

At the bottom, it’s easier. Arkansas is the bum of the division, and might well be one of the worst Power-5 teams in the country (CONFIDENT BET: They would beat Rutgers).

I also went 4-1 straight-up this week, only missing out on Missouri’s abysmal performance against Kentucky.

Anyway, so here we go.

1. LSU (8-0): The Tigers struggled, held, bashed, and got it done against Auburn. LSU wasn’t brilliant, but they weren’t terrible. The offensive line gave Joe Burrow enough time to throw for 32 completions in 42 attempts, and for 376 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT.
2. Alabama (8-0): No Tua, no problem. The Tide whacked a horrible Arkansas team. The lightshow beforehand spurred Nick Saban’s passionate comments beforehand, although there was some annoyance that the lightshow was still going when Arkansas was trying to get a snap put together.
3. Florida (6-1): The Gators chomped through bye-week. If they can keep Jonathan Grennard and Jabari Zuniga healthy for the Cocktail Party, Dan Mullen might have a Bulldog as a scalp.
4. Georgia (6-1): The Bulldogs will hopefully have spent bye week working out a better scheme than three yards and a cloud of dust. It might work for a bit against Kentucky, but it ain’t gonna work against Florida.
5. Auburn (5-2): If only the Tigers had an offensive plan. If only. If Gus Malzahn gets fired, it will be because of his offensive plan. We also know this: Bo Nix is a freshman quarterback, and is now playing like one.
6. Texas A&M (5-3): All gamblers who took Texas A&M -10 over Mississippi State should be thanking the bookmakers for making it the easiest bet of the day.
7. Kentucky (4-4): Lynn Bowden, the converted WR-now-QB, caused Missouri a ton of problems in the Wildcats’ runaway victory in the rainstorm on Saturday. The Wildcats are a good side, and we underestimated them.
8. Tennessee (3-5): Tennessee has won two out of the last three SEC games, and dropped 41 on South Carolina in the process. The cylinders at Neyland are beginning to fire, and there’s a smile on Pruitt’s face.
9. Missouri (5-3): The Tigers’ hangover after the loss to Vanderbilt was evident, and the team is falling fast after their second straight incompetent loss. The fire under Barry Odom’s ass is warming up, too.
10. South Carolina (3-5): South Carolina WR Bryan Edwards made an unwordly catch against Tennesee, but where was the defense? After giving up 41 points, we’d say non-existent.
11. Ole Miss (3-5): Win over Bye Week. We are still unsure about Matt Luke.
12. Vanderbilt (2-5): Vandy has some momentum here. And the fact that it can’t be in worse shape than the two teams below it.
13. Mississippi State (3-5): The Bulldogs are an utter trainwreck. They didn’t put up a lot of fight against Texas A&M, and lost their fourth straight. The knives are sharpening for Joe Moorhead – despite the fact that a lot of people forget that three of his defensive players went pro last year. The offense isn’t particularly mobile, and it can’t rely simply on Kylin Hill – who actually had his best day of the season against A&M.
14. Arkansas (2-6): Chad Morris has called the Hogs in his press conference, telling the media that the Razorbacks ‘were going to win’ against Mississippi State. Right now, it’s Arkansas’ best bet to bring home, er, any sort of bacon with their 89th-ranked defense and 98th-ranked offense.

It’s Week 9 of the college football. Sadly. We don’t have a lot of this beautiful season left, but let’s enjoy this year, shall we? After all, there’s still some games to go to.

This week’s the one that a lot of people look forward to: LSU and Auburn. It’s not necessarily for the rivalry itself (both teams hate Alabama with vehemence), but for the fact that for some reason there seems to be weird things happening every time the teams play. It’s been a game where we’ve seen incredible ineptitude at field goals (Auburn’s John Vaughn – five of them – in 2005), that saw the firing of a once-beloved coach (Les Miles, 2016), cigar smoking (Auburn players in 1999), death threats (LSU’s QB Jamie Howard got a lot of them after throwing 5 fourth-quarter INTs in 1996) last second jaw-dropping catches (LSU’s Demetrius Byrd, 2007), and games where both sides have shot themselves in the foot (Auburn 2017 and 2018). Oh, and literal burning of a barn (1996).

It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and it’s a game that’s always in the Top Five of games that this writer looks forward to in the SEC every year.

1. No.9 Auburn at No.2 LSU (-10 1/2): This year, there’s no question that LSU is rolling. Joe Burrow looks like a Heisman contender, and the team is undefeated. On the other hand, Auburn fans are weirdly miserable, despite the team being 6-1 , ranked ninth in the nation, and actually looking pretty good. The bookies have Auburn as 10 1/2 point underdogs, seemingly forgetting that the Tigers have the best defense in the country. This will be closer than most people think, although LSU pulls it out at the end. PREDICTION: Bet on this at your peril. LSU by 10 after a fourth quarter touchdown. Auburn fans restart the hot seat for Gus Malzahn.
2. Arkansas at No.1 Alabama (-31): Tua isn’t playing, which ups this game in the neutral viewer’s mind from ‘This is going to be a terrible game, so I’m not going to watch it’ to a ‘I wonder how they’ll do with Mac Jones, and I might watch two quarters of it until Alabama’s up 20 at half time’. This is what makes it interesting. Arkansas is so bad though, it’s not even getting funny anymore. PREDICTION: Alabama by 42, proving the point that Mac Jones is fine, and Alabama have got more weapons than the local gun range.
3. South Carolina (-4 1/2) vs Tennessee: South Carolina didn’t get the calls to pull off the upset against Florida, but they hardly helped themselves in the rain either, giving up four leads, and Ryan Hilinski going 17-for-35. Now, they are favored when they walk into what should be an obnoxiously loud Neyland Stadium, where where we’re expecting more orange than grey in the seats, now that Big Orange is feeling hopeful again. The thoughts about Jeremy Pruitt’s tangle with his quarterback seems to be quietened after a glut of good recruiting news and keeping it close against Alabama. This might be funner than most think. PREDICTION: Tennessee wins by 7.
4. Missouri (-10) at Kentucky: Two years ago this game featured brainless plays from Missouri, as well as controversial call by the referees not to stop play during the Tigers’ final drive. It still sticks in the craw of Missouri fans. This year, there’s anotehr thing that sticks in their craw: The sheer capacity for the team to blow their feet off with awful losses. At the start of the year it was Wyoming, and then the inexcusable one against Vanderbilt last week. Kelly Bryant is meant to be a runner but doesn’t seem to want to, preferring the league to see him a touch pocket passer that he thinks is, but blatantly is not. In Kentucky, the weather is predicted to be TERRIBLE at Commonwealth Stadium. Last week Kentucky played in a game – in what seemed like monsoon conditions – and lost 21-0 to Georgia. PREDICTION: In a sloppy, ugly and weirdly fun game, Missouri wins by 7.
5. Mississippi State at Texas A&M (-10 1/2): A&M have been so darned unimpressive this year that they are less than two touchdown favorites against a team that’s falling at breakneck speed. Kellen Mond doesn’t seem to be liked by anybody, but as we’ve said repeatedly, if Jimbo Fisher allows OC Darrell Dickey to open up the playbook a bit and let him run, then people would have more confidence in him. As for Mississippi State, they don’t seem to believe in Joe Moorhead. This team lost THREE NFL first-rounders in Jeffrey Simmons, Montez Sweat and Johnathan Abram, so we weren’t going to expect a whole lot defensively from the Cowbellers, but the offense has been horrific. PREDICTION: A&M wins by 21.

LSU and Alabama once are battling it out for the best team in the SEC, and possibly in all of football.

The problems for the SEC is that they are both in the SEC West, which means that only one of them will go to Atlanta.

And at the moment, it’s hard to work out who’s better. So we went with schedule, rather than beauty. Because if it went with beauty, they would both be at No.1.

1. LSU (7-0): LSU’s offense looked human for a couple of stops against Mississippi State, and got its butt together and put up 36 in an easy victory. Joe Burrow is looking like a bona fide Heisman candidate, and the rush is also looking excellent.
2. Alabama (7-0): Alabama wasn’t very good against Tennessee, and Alabama knows it. Sure, Tua’s high ankle sprain may have hurt team confidence, but teams who have quarterbacks worse than Alabama’s backup, Mac Jones, have beaten them. The defense pulled out the stops to stop it being an embarrassment, but still.
3. Florida (6-1): The Gators may have had the benefit of the refs at stages during their hard-fought victory at rain-drenched South Carolina, but that doesn’t stop the fact that Dan Mullen’s team can beat Georgia in the Cocktail Party in a couple of weeks’ time.
4. Auburn (5-1): We thought that Auburn’s game against Arkansas would be closer than we thought. We were wrong. Auburn thrashed the putrid Razorbacks 51-0, thanks in no small part to Bo Nix’s three TD performance. We will see how they measure up in Death Valley, which could well be crazy.
5. Georgia (6-1): It was vomitously ugly for the most part against Kentucky, but the Bulldogs – after getting booed off the park in the first half, came through with a 21-0 victory. The rain didn’t help Jake Fromm & Co, but they had better be a lot better against Florida, or this will be their second ‘L’ of the season and put them out of Play-Off contention – something we thought would be impossible by early November.
6. Texas A&M (4-3): AND STILL…..THE BEST THREE-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY….
7. Missouri (5-2): Missouri was inept at Vanderbilt. Absolutely inept. Suddenly the locals are grumpy about the state of the program (again) and asking themselves if Barry Odom was the right choice. Weird, because last week they were cheering his name. Anyway, Derek Dooley didn’t get it right, but Missouri still should be the 3rd-best team in the SEC East.
8. South Carolina (3-4): The Gamecocks could have claimed their second straight upset of the day if they had had the rolls against Florida, but it wasn’t to be. USC aren’t great, but they are better than the record suggests.
9. Ole Miss (3-5): The Rebs aren’t great, but they sure put in a fight against A&M before succumbing.
10. Tennessee (2-5): UT is showing so much fight right now that the fans are starting to believe again. Will they win out? Probably not. But the fans should come back to Neyland again.
11. Kentucky (3-4): The offense showed it was inept against Georgia after getting shut-out in a biblical flood in Athens. We’re not confident going forward, either.
12. Mississippi State (3-4): The Cowbellers battled with LSU for large parts of the game, but in the end it was all about talent. And LSU had an abundance of it – and confidence. People should give Joe Moorehead more leeway after the defensive talent he lost to the NFL, though.
13. Vanderbilt (2-5): Derek Mason’s speech after the win against Missouri had all of of us fired up. The Commodores might get rid of him at the end of the season, and if that happens, he should get another job with the big boys pretty quickly as a one of the best defensive minds out there.
14. Arkansas (2-5): At what point are the big guns at the DW going to say: “This was a crappy idea of us to hire Chad Morris, we should boot his ass”. Because right now, the Razorbacks are awful and getting worse.

On paper, this is the hangover to last week’s drunken hijinks in the SEC. We saw a big party at LSU, with the booze flowing early doors, College Gameday excitement, and parachutes before the Tigers played the Florida Gators in a bruising evening game match-up. LSU won, and everyone it seems celebrated.

In Georgia, the hangovers were quite different, as hundreds of thousands of fans went from outlandish bark to tiny whine as their beloved team lost to the crowing Gamecocks of South Carolina, who left armed with some hedge branches and the biggest upset of the year so far.

On the other end of the spectrum, the smell of a steaming turd of a season festers in the nostrils of Vanderbilt fans, with those from Arkansas and Mississippi State not far behind.

Anyway, it’s Week 8 of the season. We’re going to be inspired, because, you know, it’s the SEC. So here’s our games in order of what’s going to be interesting.

1. No.9 Florida (-5) at South Carolina: With South Carolina’s victory at Georgia, suddenly Will Muschamp is loved. Dan Mullen’s loss at LSU was one of far more respectable than that of their hated rivals in red, and they seem to be in much better shape. Especially as they have a quarterback who’s not injured. We think that Tyler Hillinski’s going to be in worse shape than Will Muschamp’s letting on. Even if Florida’s without future NFLers Jonathan Greenard and Jabari Zuniga, they don’t have to really worry about a poorly Gamecock offense. PREDICTION: This will be tight until the fourth quarter, but Gators win out by 10.
2. Kentucky at No.10 Georgia (-25): Georgia’s going to come out of this one angry. Very angry. Jake Fromm will throw it less than the 51 times that he did against South Carolina, and Kentucky will be find it hard to stop D’Andre Swift, who’s been UGA’s best player this year. Mark Stoops isn’t going to comment on who will be the starter, but personally I’d give it to Lynn Bowden, who had a great game on Saturday, albeit against the off-color bacon that is Arkansas. He could challenge Georgia with his feet. PREDICTION: Georgia will be out to impress. And impress bad. Georgia by 31.
3. Texas A&M (-6) at Ole Miss: Our piece a few days ago said that is Ole Miss could find a QB who matched John Rhys Plumlee’s legs and Matt Corral’s arm, they would be golden. Texas A&M fans are fed up with being told that they are the best three-loss team in the nation, and are sick of the excuses that stem from the fact that they are an extremely ordinary side, which has finally been booted out of the Top 25 and now stands below Texas, Baylor and SMU in the Texan Pride Polls (which mean absolutely nothing but will be sure to irritate the Yellers). Fisher seems to be unsure of what to do with Kellen Mond, and the Aggies can’t produce on the ground. Crazily, this could be the game of the week. PREDICTION: Ole Miss with the upset, winning by 3. 
4. No.2 LSU (-18) at Mississippi State: While Joe Brady is college football’s flavor of the month for all his offensive work with the Tigers, Joe Moorhead’s flavor is stagnating at a speedy rate, and the locals are getting grumpy. His quarterback experiments have been disastrous, and there is absolutely no confidence in the team….as seen by the 20-10 loss to Tennessee. CBS has got it as the 3.30pm game…..probably because they like watching car crashes as the eighteen-wheeler known as Coach O’s offense crumples the Cowbells, and the defense showing that it’s OK rather than terrible for one outing (at least). We can’t believe the spread’s only 18 points, frankly. PREDICTION: LSU by 28.
5. Missouri (-21) at Vanderbilt: It takes quite a lot to annoy Vanderbilt fans, but Derek Mason has managed to do just that. This team has looked terrible all season long, and it was capped by a disastrous home swing against UNLV, where the Running Rebels ran away with a double-digit victory that didn’t look close. We thought K’Shawn Vaughn would run all over UNLV. He actually had 140 yards and a TD, but that was all Vanderbilt’s offense could muster against one of the worst defenses in the country. We aren’t kidding. So now, Missouri comes to town, and the Tigers are on fire. Weirdly enough, they are winning the SEC East, and division victory is actually Kelly Bryant & Co’s hands. PREDICTION: Fire. Derek. Mason. Now. Missouri by 24.
6. No.11 Auburn (-19) at Arkansas: We actually saw some fight from the Razorbacks for the second straight game (they could and should have beaten Texas A&M), and if Auburn aren’t careful, this one’s going to be close. We think that the Bo Nix experiment has lost its gold tinge suddenly, and the loss of Boobee Whitlow is going to make the Tigers struggle. The defense is amazing, though. PREDICTION: Closer than you might think. Auburn by 10.
7. Tennessee at No.1 Alabama (-35): Like the sun, hope seems to spring eternally for the mad men of Neyland, and they were finally rewarded by a couple of trips to the Neyland Stadium en route to a cathartic victory over Mississippi State last week. The win snapped a SEC-losing streak, and now they play Alabama in an attempt to snap a 12-game losing streak against the Tide. Well, it’s not happening today. PREDICTION: Is the third Saturday in October anything but a date anymore? Alabama by 42. 

Right, so we’ve been plunged into the deep end by Week 6 of the college football season.

In the AP’s rankings, Alabama is No.1, followed by Clemson, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU and Oklahoma. Florida, Wisconsin, Notre Dame and Penn State fill out your Top 10. Auburn (12th) and Texas A&M (24th) are the other SEC teams on the list.

So here are our power rankings for the SEC. This is less about ‘how they look’ and more about ‘who they’ve beaten’.

1. Florida (6-0): Beat Auburn in a monstrously noisy atmosphere in The Swamp. It was like being back in Spurrier’s time again. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty (they turned the ball over 4 times), but the Gators’ defense is amazing. The LSU game in Baton Rouge – with College Gameday there – will be fascinating.
2. Georgia (5-0): The Bulldogs weren’t great against Tennessee in the first half, but then they steamrolled the Volunteers.
3. LSU (5-0): Cruised against Utah State and the defense turned up for the first time this season. Joe Burrow continues to fascinate. Their win against Texas puts them above Alabama, but Georgia’s win over Notre Dame looks better.
4. Alabama (5-o): Alabama being idle vaulted them above Auburn for one reason: The Crimson Tide would have done a lot better after grabbing FOUR turnovers against Florida than Auburn did.
5. Auburn (5-1): Bo Nix isn’t brilliant. Auburn’s defense is. Auburn actually needs to beat one of LSU, Georgia or Alabama to ensure Gus Malzahn’s in a job come next season. After an inept offensive performance in The Swamp, the daggers are already unsheathed again.
6. Missouri (4-1): The Tigers dispatched Troy, but the defense – after the dreadful Wyoming loss – actually looks great, and the offense looks better with Kelly Bryant. We’ll see if Bryant’s knee is better this week, and LB Cale Garrett’s pectoral injury will hurt, but the Tigers are still deep at linebacker.
7. Texas A&M (3-2): The Aggies’ two losses have been to Clemson and Auburn and they’ve looked poor. And they looked low on confidence against Arkansas. The Aggie tribe are getting restless. But they have to calm down: They’ve got one of nastiest schedules in the country. And they aren’t terrible.
8. Ole Miss (3-3): The offense is fun, and the defense isn’t completely horrible.
9. Mississippi State (3-2): Garrett Schrader or Tommy Stevens aren’t looking great options for Joe Moorhead. I’m not loving either one. This could well be the second-worst team in the SEC West.
10. South Carolina (2-3): I’m not wildly convinced about the Gamecocks, but they’ve suffered from the season-ending injury to Jake Bentley. Their 24-7 win over Kentucky showed that they are a middling SEC team who’s probably going to a bad, boring New Year’s Day Florida Bowl.
11. Arkansas (2-3): We know that the ‘Backs haven’t gotten a win in the SEC in 13 games, but the performance against Texas A&M could be a real boost for the program. They go on the road to Kentucky on Saturday, where it will be a true trainscrash of SEC mediocrity.
12. Tennessee (1-4): The Volunteers blew two games against Georgia State and BYU that would have made things seem a little nicer for Jeremy Pruitt. The first half against Georgia was actually pretty good, but then Georgia made the adjustments and laid waste to the Vols. On the bright side, true freshman QB Brian Maurer gave the offense a bit of oomph. There is some hope for the Vols (they still have to play Kentucky and Vanderbilt) to get a win or two in the SEC East.
13. Kentucky (2-3): The offense is awful (41 points in-conference this year), and the defense is worse. And still, they should have beaten Florida. The marginal Gators loss is suddenly looking their best SEC result so far after bludgeonings by Mississippi State and a not-very-good South Carolina side.
14. Vanderbilt (1-4): Fire. Derek. Mason. Now.

Sorry for the radio silence.

We weren’t renaming ourselves.

Or firing people – because there’s one of us, and that’s me.

It’s because I requested a transfer.

Put myself in the transfer portal.

And the wife and I have moved to the hot cooker of football – Texas.

We’re in Houston, where the oil money flows like the water in the Bayou and the mosquitos are manic.

It’s great because I can watch SEC games in the same time-zone, not sit there watching until 5am every morning like I have one in the UK.

Our only problem has been the internet. AT&T sucks.

But thanks to the next-door neighbors, we’re back.

For half a season.

But half a season’s better than no season at all.

And let’s be honest: Apart from LSU’s trip to Texas, Auburn vs Florida and (maybe) Auburn vs Texas A&M, we haven’t had the big-time SEC games yet.

Of course there have been evolutions. LSU’s suddenly playing a spread offense. Gus Malzahn’s job security actually looked OK for a week, while Derek Mason looks like he’s got one foot out of the door. And people are starting to talk about ‘that’ Missouri’s defense.

The same things remain. Alabama and Georgia remain the teams to beat. Nick Saban is still yelling at the press. Players are still getting booted off teams. No-one likes the NCAA.

So we’re back, SEC. And we’re happy.

It’s nighttime in Death Valley. The War Eagle Flies. We’re running through the T. We’re chomping. We’re asking how ‘bout them Dawgs. We’re clanging, pig sooein’, rammer jammerin’, Ole miss by damn’. We’re a 12^th Man, the ZOU in MIZ, a Commodore, and a Wildcat. There’s even 2001 or maybe a Sandstorm.

Our churches aren’t small. They are megachurches, holding a screaming congregation that will bury you with noise. They’ve even been allowed some in-game communion wine to add to their palates during services now. It should make Saturday church a little louder. When they win with a God-given upset, they jump over railings, get stuck in hedges, surf goalposts through crowded streets and toilet paper trees. When they lose, they look like their world has been torn apart. The pretty sorority girls and young frats with their bow ties look miserable. The painted clowns look clownish and stunned. All of them use words to the heavens that they wouldn’t take with grandma to church.

But in our churches, it’s important to know our pastors. There are 14 of them. If they bring home The Ultimate Prize, then the size of the statue won’t do the achievement justice. Of course, the pastor must obey the main commandment of SEC football: Thou Shalt Not Lose. Particularly if it’s the cardinal sin of losing Eggs, third Saturdays, big games or Cocktail Parties – or losing too many SEC games. If they do, hotter seats than hell will appear and behinds will sit on them. Pastor Gus of Auburn has sought redemption a couple of time from being excommunicated. But this year’s another year. It doesn’t matter if you’re likeable. If you don’t help the congregation reach the higher plain, you’re out. Some elders will give a new pastor two or three years to work their magic, but after that, notice will be hammered on the door like Martin Luther did with his articles.

To make a pastor successful to his congregations, he must be able to bring in the moving parts from smaller, younger churches every season. Churches aren’t expected to fizzle out. We at the SEC don’t mind paying for talent, as long as we don’t get caught. Much. And after their success in college, they go to Big Church Sundays. We implore Mr Goodell, high elder of the professional league, to skip the preliminaries and just call your professional conference the SEC-FL? After all, our boosters probably pay more than some of your teams do. This year, Tua will again make the tongues waggle, although we’re also excited by Bryant, Swift, Fromm, Delphit, Jeudy, Mond, Williams, Stingley and a guy based in the Mid-West known only as ‘Albert O’. But there will be many more names by season-end. Because this is the SEC.

The pastors and the congregrations know who the biggest church in our movement are. At the moment, they are in Tuscaloosa and Athens. They are going to be pretty good in the Year of Our Lord 2019, we hear. They’ve got the West and East divisions running scared and their schedules measure up sweetly. It’s hard to see who is going to beat them. Hell, it’s hard to see who’s going to give them a good fight. We expect more drama at the SEC Championship Game. And no trick plays please, Kirby. The likes of LSU, Auburn and Florida will feel like ‘also-rans’, even if that’s not the case. There’s always room for the upset. See the last time Georgia rolled into Death Valley. Take a moment in thinking about the orders of service for 14 teams for the Pastor Jimbo’s congregation in College Station. It’s downright evil.

But there will be competition for the Ultimate Prize this year from other denominations. The congregation in Clemson in the Atlantic Denomination is pretty good. As are Sooners from Oklahoma in the Southwest. There are the people of ‘The’ and ‘Big Blue’ in icier Big 11, and we’re heard that there might even be a good team in the NorthWest who are known as Huskies or Ducks in the driven down out West. But against us, can they really hold their own? If there’s two teams that will compete with us for the Ultimate Prize, we’ll go for the ‘Eyes and the Tigers. The rest will falter and fall.

I saw on a tweet today that a Georgia fan that Nick Saban’s effort to explain Alabama’s ‘weak’ 2019 schedule in a presser was showing a ‘chink in the armor’.

“Not very Saban of him to say “we tried”. He wouldn’t accept that from his players and coaches! He hides behind being for an expanded SEC schedule while criticizing people for not showing up for HIS pitiful schedule. This is THE crack in the Saban armor. #GoDawgs #wisewords” 

Mr Wisedawg’s comments come after Saban’s answer to Colin Cowherd’s rage at Bama’s poor scheduling this year. Saban said: “I think the culture of college football would benefit if we said Power 5 teams have to play all Power 5 teams. I’ve been an advocate of this for several years,” he said on ESPN “I’ve been an advocate of playing more SEC games. Well, I think you should do it like basketball, they have RPI, or whatever it’s called. And basketball says these are the teams that played the best schedule and won the biggest games. So that’s how you qualify for a bowl game, not how many games you win. So that it would be better for fans, it would be better for fan interest….. “So we’ve tried to schedule two opponents — Power Five opponents — every year. We have one time in the next 10 years, we’ve succeeded at doing that. So unless we change the culture of how we all agree to schedule, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

The fact is this for the 2019 schedule: Alabama’s 2019 schedule is far weaker than Georgia’s. The Crimson Tide’s biggest non-conference game is mighty Duke, while Georgia’s is a fascinating home game against Notre Dame. Non-conference wise, Alabama plays South Carolina and Tennessee, while Georgia gets the enviable task of playing Auburn and Texas A&M (Of course, both schedules pale into comparison with Texas A&M’s, who have to play a non-conference monster in Clemson, as well as Alabama and Georgia this year).

Saban has said on many-an-occasion to lobby the SEC to increase the schedule by 9 games. This notion isn’t actually advantageous to Alabama in the fact that Maths would dictate that it gets to play Georgia and Florida more often. Kirby Smart has jumped on Saban’s bandwagon now, saying that he too would favor 9 games.

But there’s also the scheduling factor for Saban and Alabama. People simply don’t want to play Alabama. The way the Crimson Tide are stacked, it’s an almost guaranteed loss for any Power-5 team. If that Power-5 team thinks it has a chance to get into the play-off, the risk of getting blown out of the water by a rampant Tide team severely damages those prospects (This goes the same for Texas A&M and Clemson. Why Texas A&M chose to boot Oregon and scheduled Clemson instead in 2014 is somewhat of a mystery, but it’s amazing for college football as a whole).

And while Georgia fans will tell you that it’s all Saban’s fault for scheduling bad teams, there aren’t exactly a lot of Power-5 teams looking to prove themselves (apart from Wisconsin, who were just announced as a future combatant in 2024/5). This goes the same for Georgia, who have mighty Virginia and Oregon in 2020 and 2022 in Atlanta, which might as well be a home game for the Bulldogs.

Look, Saban and Smart (as well as Auburn HC Gus Malzahn) are right. The SEC needs to go a nine-game in-conference schedule. As should the ACC. Otherwise, there will be non-stop bitching and complaining about ‘Alabama and Clemson bias’. Saban is also right when he talks about RPI. He seems to want to see Alabama – as much as anyone – play big-time match-ups.

But no-one has mentioned the elephant in the room – the regular season neutral site games. The reason why it’s not mentioned – by Saban or anyone else – is the fact that the poverty-stricken athletic departments have to play these games as money-spinners (they get in the region of $5 million). I mean, they all really need to get the same sort of beds that LSU has. The major programs are denying fanbases big-time games by these season-opening bowl games. After all, it costs a lot of money to go across the country to an alien dome to see your team play (plus the charges of match tickets, hotels and concessions). Their ticket isn’t guaranteed by the school because there is no home game, and also, they lose out on a ‘good’ game to go to. The same goes for students, who generally can’t afford long treks, and aren’t going to be fighting outside the stadium to see LSU vs Kent State anytime soon.

Beyond the transfers, the head coaches, the stadium reductions and the backhanders to recruits, the NCAA can change something else that would really take the sport a step forward: The schedules.

The ACC and SEC play 8 in-conference games and 4 non-conference games, while the Big Ten, Pac-12 and Big XII all play nine.

Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban both expressed a preference for nine games. In fact, Nick Saban has been lobbying for it since 2012, while Gus Malzahn last year admitted he’s had a Damascus experience on scheduling (probably because Auburn’s is so arduous year after year): “Nine I think is best for us moving forward to make the schedules more equal across the conference.”

Kirby Smart of Georgia – also one of the SEC’s most powerful coaches – joined the ‘pro’ shout. He said: “I think it [would be] a good thing, but I think you will have teams with more losses. Does it affect a team getting in the playoff? I don’t know, but I know you have a lot more games to get up for, a lot more good rivalry games. It’s not just about travelling, it’s just as much about the atmosphere of playing an SEC opponent, I think you are playing more comparable teams to your talent level, I think it’s important for college football.”

Other coaches haven’t expressed an opinion – possibly because half of them lost their jobs after the 2017 season, and the new ones have yet to have a voice. The only time that voters voted to keep the schedule as-is was 2013. Will Muschamp, while he was at Florida, said that it was likely to move to nine games in 2013, but never happened.

The ACC has done the same. While this isn’t a huge surprise bearing in mind the ACC and SEC are two of the biggest superpower conferences in college football right now (although the ACC Network is still going to be minor compared to the SEC Network and the Big Ten Network (that may well turn around during basketball season), it has to change.

For the fans! 

Why? Because not only are Big Ten, Big XII and Pac-12 looking at tougher, in-conference schedules which have in the end worked out nicely for the ACC and SEC, which have captured the last four National Championships. Both Clemson and Alabama in the last four days have lost less than five games. Combined.

Also in the SEC, the way that the rivalries work is rather stupid. What could be more dislikeable than putting together one permanent rival and one division rival?

It means that the likes of Alabama and Georgia hardly play each other in the regular season, and teams like Auburn get royally screwed because they have to play Georgia – and Alabama – every season.

We get that SEC fans like their rivalries. We love them too. If it was a nine-game format, the Iron Bowl will still exist. So will the Egg Bowl, the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and LSU vs Alabama. We can still have the major cross-divisional rivalries like the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry (Auburn vs Georgia) and the Third Saturday in October, but we can also have one more cross-divisional games, which means the fans (probably quite important) get to see more East vs West games (which may reverse the trend of declining attendances, too), which will also be good for the ones that pay the bills – the SEC Network, CBS or ESPN.

Why should the SEC and ACC changing their schedules change college football in general? Easy. It shuts up the argument altogether. It makes for equality between FBS Conferences, shutting up the whole “we play more in-conference games than you”, because the other one (“We play in a more difficult conference than you”) becomes null and void. Not only that, it’s an easier job for the College Football Play-Off Committee to work out who’s should be ‘in’ with a flat schedule, and also, it pretty much shuts-up massive controversy.

What about the NCAA?

The NCAA will argue that ‘scheduling is not our business’, but that’s absolute crap. If the NCAA is happy to govern everything else, then why not govern one of the key aspects of the game? Not only that, but why are the conferences letting coaches or Athletic Directors – who all have biases on this subject but may well be fired before the next vote comes out (the SEC last voted on it in 2013 and ACC ADs voted on it in 2016) – vote on this altogether. The NCAA should mandate this and that would be that.

The ones that will suffer, inevitably, will be the smaller non-FBS schools, which rely on coming to a stadium and getting the living crap beaten out of them for $1 million (there are quite a few exceptions.

But unfortunately, college football is not a charity. Smaller FCS schools will still make their money. But unless there will be less of them. Will this lead to a shutdown of smaller programs? Sadly, probably. But will it be better for college football as a whole we see more and more in-conference rivalries? Definitely.

I love the bowl time of year. I get to ignore politics for a few hours and sit and balance a beer on my belly and watch college football.

This is a beautiful time to be a SEC fan. We get to generally see a National Champion, and we get to celebrate by haunting others with our war cry: “SEC! SEC! SEC!”.

I was going to go for a long, weaving preview of every bowl, but I realised that this (might) suffice.

So here we go – Why EVERY SEC will win its bowl game.

1. Why Vanderbilt (-4)will beat Baylor: Vanderbilt can stop someone, Baylor can’t. Vanderbilt’s got one of the most underrated running backs in college football in Ke’Shawn Vaughn, who ran for over 1,000 yards in the regular season. Vandy QB Kyle Shurmur’s better than what Baylor will offer, too.
2. Why Auburn (-3.5) will beat Purdue: Because Jarrett Stidham NEEDS a good bowl game to lift his NFL Draft status, and Gus Malzahn needs a good bowl game to get some ju-ju off his back. And also, Purdue really isn’t that good.
3.  Why Florida will beat Michigan (-6): Florida will bring back all of its talent from 2018 for this one, while Michigan is going to have some heavy losses. Michigan winning by almost a touchdown? Are you kidding me? Chomp, Chomp, Harbaugh.
4. Why South Carolina (-5.5) will beat Virginia: Virginia isn’t very good. Despite Deebo Samuel electing to forgo this game so that he can concentrate on the draft, South Carolina will be just fine without him. Jake Bentley will pick apart Virgnia’s secondary with his bevvy of tight ends (Kiel Pollard, Jacob August, Kyle Markway and KC Crosby).
5. Why Missouri (-9) will beat Oklahoma State: Missouri’s en fuego after getting Kelly Bryant to sign for next year, and Drew Lock’s coming back for his swansong. Oklahoma State’s going to miss its best RB (Justice Hill) because he’s declared early. This will be fun, but Missouri will win. Double digits. Mark it down.
6. Why Texas A&M (-7) will beat NC State: Because Texas A&M’s a good team, and NC State’s ‘D’ is porous at best. Kellen Mond will have a field day.
7. Why Mississippi State (-7) will beat Iowa: Iowa’s offensive line won’t be able to stop Mississippi State. 96-tackle anchor Jeffrey Simmons has said he is GOING to play before he leaves for a bright future in the NFL. Good luck, Hawkeyes.
8. Why LSU (-7.5) will beat UCF: Because UCF’s QB Mackenzie Milton isn’t playing. LSU will grind UCF into the ground using their bevvy of running backs. This will get ugly.
9. Why Kentucky will beat Penn State (6.5): Because even if Penn State stops Benny Snell, Josh Allen’s going to kill Trace McSorley on the other side of the ball.
10. Why Georgia (-13) will beat Texas: Texas hasn’t got a great defense, and Georgia will run straight through them. It might be exciting early with Texas’ big wide receivers, but Sam Ehrlinger’s moxiness will get crushed by UGA’s defense.
11. Why Alabama (-14) will beat Oklahoma: Because Oklahoma couldn’t stop a damned thing all season, and it ain’t about to start now.