While we were watching the Brits celebrate their first-ever (male) Wimbledon crown since God was a boy (77 years, as it goes), this popped up on our Twitter Feed from Reddit:

“If you could erect a statue of one person in front of your biggest rival’s stadium, who would it be and what would they be doing?”

To say that we nearly urinated our underwear laughing would be an understatement. And then the imagination kicked in.

So here are our ones for all SEC schools.

SEC EAST

FOR FLORIDA: We’re going with a big, long spear, which will be flamed up every time Florida and Florida State play each other. That’s because Bobby Bowden had a 7-4 record against Spurrier during the 1990s, when the UF vs FSU rivalry was not only an in-state spitting match, but a war for National supremacy. For the record, Florida State would get a set of goalposts, sent by the University of Miami, in memory of missed field goals.

FOR GEORGIA: Ask Georgia fans who they hate, and “Florida” and “Steve Spurrier“. Both are prevalent. There are Georgia fans who absolutely loathe Georgia Tech – but that’s mainly because they are from the Atlanta area. It’s difficult to make up our mind. So we’re going with a pair of Florida jorts, signed by Steve Spurrier on their butt, with an 11-1 coaching record for Cocktail Party games. Oh, and he’s 4-4 right now at South Carolina, but he’s won 3 straight against the ‘Dawgs. What is about this guy? But special note goes to Georgia Tech and Georgia who have the best name for a rivalry:  ‘Good Ole’ Fashioned Hate’.

Note: A Georgia fan gave his list as the things he hated the most from rivals: “1. Georgia Tech 2. Georgia Tech 3. Steve Spurrier
4. Georgia Tech 5. Steve Spurrier 6. Florida 7. Georgia Tech 8. Jan Kemp 9. Penn Wagers 10. Georgia Tech”

There were other nominations for the Athens Police Department, University presidents and athletic directors, Mike Bobo, Mark Richt (when he’s not doing well), and one UGA fans added: “Also receiving votes: Quincy Carter, Auburn, firehoses, James Franklin, Peyton Manning, Phillip Fulmer, all South Carolina fans, mopeds, Jimmy Williamson” . There’s a lot of hate in Georgia, folks.

— Georgia fans would put up a statue of Reggie Ball outside Georgia Tech’s stadium – not because he was one of their greatest QBs – it would be him fumbling the ball against the Dawgs in 2006.

FOR MISSOURI: This one’s pretty easy. A statue that annoys Missouri fans, regardless of whether they are playing the ‘Border War’ or not: The KU logo: Complete with flashing lights. If he doesn’t improve, opposition fans will put a statue of Dorial Green-Beckham, to remind Missouri of the much-hyped recruit who came to Columbia and left a failure.

FOR SOUTH CAROLINA: The numbers ’63’ referring to the 63 points Clemson put up on the Gamecocks in 2003 – the most in their 110-year rivalry. You can watch the entirety of the game here. For SEC rivalries, Georgia fans would put up a ‘SEC’ sign up in Columbia, reminding South Carolina fans of the fact that although Gamecocks smacked the Dawgs in 2012, Georgia still went to the SEC Championship Game. Something that Steve Spurrier will probably never, ever forget.

NOTE: South Carolina fans would put a broken Howard’s Rock to mimick the one currently broken. Which was done – wait for it – by one of their own fans. How dumb can Clemson fans be?

FOR TENNESSEE: There’s a lot of ammunition in the SEC for the Vols. Especially recently. But we’re going with Florida fans putting up a statue of  Steve Spurrier, standing on the figure of a football player wearing No.18. That’s because Peyton Manning – Tennessee’s pride and joy – couldn’t beat the Ole Ball Coach (who ironically was born and brought up in the State of Tennessee) in his 3 years as a starter.

FOR KENTUCKY: LSU fans would send a statue of Devery Henderson, who caught the ball for the famed 2002 Bluegrass Miracle, a 74-yard Hail Mary that broke UK fans’ hearts. Kentucky fans themselves would send Louisville a statue of Tim Couch, who almost single-handedly beat the crap out of the Cardinals in 1997 and 1998. Now THOSE were good memories for Wildcats fans, who didn’t have many.

FOR VANDERBILT: A big foot, to remind Vanderbilt fans that they were regularly stomped by SEC schools. No one school owns Vanderbilt….they all owned Vanderbilt.

SEC WEST

FOR ALABAMA: It’s easy to think about Auburn putting up a Cam Newton statue, because Newton led a comeback from 24-0 down to win the 2011 game and help keep the Tigers en route to the National Championship Game. But is that more painful than putting up a photo of a guy punting, to remind the older fans of ‘Punt Bama Punt?’, in memory of the 1972 Iron Bowl in which Bama’s special teams, ahem, weren’t up to scratch? WARNING: THE VIDEO EVIDENCE IS PAINFUL, BAMA FANS

FOR ARKANSAS: A motorbike, burning, given to Hogs fans by SEC rivals really enjoying the fall of Bobby Petrino. Texas fans have begged us to put the Longhorns symbol up in Fayetteville – Arkansas absolutely hates Texas – but to no avail. Petrino’s actions and firing ended one of the most hopeful times in recent Arkansas football history.

FOR AUBURN: This is extremely recent, but we’re actually going for a statue of Harvey Updyke, with a can of poison killing Toomer’s Oaks. Yeah, it didn’t happen in a game, but it ruined Auburners hearts and killed tradition.

FOR LSU: That’s easy. Alabama fans would send over a statue of Nick Saban. There is no-one (it seems) that is more hated that Nick Saban in Baton Rouge. That’ll happen when the head coach who led you to your first National Championship since Billy Cannon in 2000-2004. Then, he ups and leaves for the NFL. And then goes to Alabama. Tigers fans don’t take betrayal (as they saw it)  too kindly.

FOR MISSISSIPPI STATE: How about a statue of Hugh Freeze, the current Ole Miss coach? He’s whipping ’em in recruiting right now….and he hammered Dan Mullen in the Egg Bowl in 2012, beating the ‘Dogs 41-24.

FOR OLE MISS: Ole Miss fans would wake up to see the statue of Ed Orgeron, given to them generously by Mississippi State, in memory of the 2008 Egg Bowl loss they suffered when 14-0 up against the Bulldogs in 2008 in the fourth quarter. Oregeron’s decision to go for a fourth down haunted him, as it failed and MSU went on to win 17-14.

FOR TEXAS A&M: The Aggies don’t have SEC rivals – although we can see the Alabama and LSU rivalries getting very angry, very quickly. But Texas A&M fans would receive a massive, polished set of fingers doing the ‘Texas Longhorn’ sign from their long-hated rival, Texas – who they absolutely loathe. Funnily enough, Texas’ decision to start their own channel helped to send Texas A&M to the SEC. One fan on Twitter, Trevor Magers, went for Florida coach Will Muschamp – who was the Texas defensive co-ordinator, before going to Florida. “Easily Will Muschamp“, he said, adding: “I dislike him strongly from his days as Mac Brown’s lapdog at TU.” And Trent Padgett? “Muschamp. He may be at Florida now but he still has the stench of hippie on him from Austin.” Also receiving votes? Art Briles, coach of Baylor. We’re not saying why. You can find out from this tweet. Also receiving votes? Bo Pellini, the loveable ex-LSU assistant coach and current coach of Nebraska.

LSU starting running back Jeremy Hill has admitted to simple battering – along with a friend – for sucker-punching a 20-year old man outside Reggie’s bar in Tigerland, after video evidence emerged of his attack. He was sentenced to two years’ probation – although may still face jail time for a violation of probation for an earlier offence (details below), when he discusses his parole in late August.

The video of the attack is here. It’s not pretty viewing. 

Hill must attend anger management classes, has to stay away from social media, pay $375 in medical expenses to Connor Baldridge, and will be under a curfew – although will be ‘suspended’ for football-related activities.  He also must write a letter of apology and do 50 hours of community service.

Before he was sentenced, Judge Mike Erwin asked Hill if he read the newspaper. Hill said he didn’t.

“Maybe you should,” Erwin said, according a report from TheTowntalk. You can find out that you’re about this far away from ruining your life.I watched Cecil Collins play football at LSU, and he was one of the best running backs in the history of LSU football. He ended up spending 13 years in jail.” Collins is in jail for burglary.

Hill – who’s lightning speed would have made him one of the top ten running backs in the country to watch next season – was suspended by Les Miles for his role, and the charge by Baton Rouge police won’t make life any easier for the sophomore player.

Miles was suspended indefinitely by Les Miles after this arrest.

One has to remember – and ESPN.com has pointed this out – that he’s already in the doghouse (is it Tiger Cage?) with Les Miles and the LSU police after he was put on probation in 2012 for having misdemeanor carnal knowledge of a juvenile  – which he pleaded guilty for – despite initially beng charged with something much worse. “According to the Baton Rouge Police Department, Hill and another student, Avery Tate II, pressured a 14-year-old girl to perform oral sex“, said Channel 9 WAFB of Baton Rouge.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The question with us is is: Should Jeremy Hill continue at LSU at all? There’s no question that Hill’s an excellent running back. He run for 755 yards on 142 carries in just 10 games, scoring 12 touchdowns in the process. He shone out during LSU’s hardest stretch – at Texas A&M, at the two home games against South Carolina and Alabama, and there’s no disguising the fact that as much as LSU fans would want you to believe that they wouldn’t miss his lightning speed, they actually would.

But his behaviour has been horrific to say the least. The fight in the bar we can understand – and it’s a pretty minor charge (although we’d like to see the circumstances of the fight) – but the fact that he was already on probation when he did it? If he’s lucky Hill will get off lightly and find a sympathetic, LSU-supporting judge. If he’s not, Les Miles could be without a player all season while he’s doing time in jail. Remember, Les Miles was pretty lenient with Tyrann Mathieu until the straw broke the camel’s back. Will one sex charge and a fight while on parole be the straw this time, or will Les give Hill a third time?

The Independence Day weekend was meant to be a day of celebration. For Park Stevens’ family, it’ll be a day of tears.

According to multiple Twitter reports, the walk-on offensive linesman was killed in a car crash today. According to the Clarion-Ledger, Stevens was killed when his pick-up truck collided with rear of an 18-wheeler at the intersection of Egypt Road and Highway 45A at around 3 p.m.

Here’s a photo of the player.

Ole Miss coach Hugh Freeze tweeted this statement: “Our Rebel family and team are so saddened at the loss of one of our teammates, Park Stevens. May God be with his family and our team”.

By all the tweets coming out, he was a bright light in the Ole Miss dressing room, and was known as ‘Big Dog’.

Also on Twitter:

Ole Miss QB Bo Wallace: “Times like these Rebel Nation comes together!! Prayers to Park’s family and my teammates!!”

Ole Miss defensive line coach Chris Kiffin: “Very saddened by the news about Park Stevens. He was a great young man! Praying for his family and friends at this difficult time.”

Starting left tackle Emmanuel McCray: “The news I just got about Park Stevens has me kinda stuck right now. That kid had the most upbeat personality and enjoyed life. RIP big dog.”

Defensive back Chief Brown: “My prayers are sent to Stevens family!! Gone but never forgotten, RIP Park Stevens.”

2012 Ole Miss kicker Andy Pappanastos: “Everyone please pray for the family of Park Stevens. Terrible tragedy to an awesome teammate & even better friend. We love you big dog.” Ole Miss defensive back Justin Anderson tweeted: “RIP Park Stevens. You will be missed brother #rebelfamily“.

The recruiting sites were the first with the sad news….

Ben Garrett of ‘The Ole Miss Spirit’: “Walk-on offensive lineman Park Stevens of Columbus, Miss., was killed in a car wreck today. Tragic. Prayers to his family.“

Webb Lewis of competing site Rebels 24-7: “Recruiting battles, wins and losses seem so small on a day like today. Heart goes out to the family, friends and teammates of Park Stevens.“

The notes have been coming thick and fast.

Herb Hand, O-Line coach at Vanderbilt: “Prayers to the family of Park Stevens as well as the Ole Miss football program. May God bless you with His peace in your time of loss. Amen.”, while his colleague Ricky Rahne, the Vandy quarterbacks coach tweeted: “Just heard the heart breaking news of Park Stevens. My condolences to his family & Ole Miss football. Every father & coach’s worst nightmare.“

And the rival schools have added their prayers:

Ben Beckwith, an O-Lineman at Mississippi State, who lost Nick Bell in 2010: “I know we’re rivals on the field but my prayers go out to Ole Miss and Park Stevens family I know the feeling of losing a teammate it’s rough.” Insider linebacker Ryne Rankin at Georgia said: “My condolences go to the family of Ole Miss Park Stevens, who was killed in a car wreck. #RIP“. Former Georgia linebacker Christian Robinson said: “Praying for the family of Park Stevens and the Ole Miss Team“. Christian Morris, an offensive linesman at UCLA tweeted: “Prayers go out to Park Stevens family of Ole Miss.”

There have been no details of the accident thus far.

Texas A&M players Dante Everett and Floyd Thomas Raven have been arrested for their part in a bar fight in College Station in April.

Everett, a starting cornerback, and Raven, a starting safety, were both handcuffed on Monday, according to the Bryant-College Station Eagle.

They will face charges of assault (2) and criminal mischief (1).

Both players were expected to start for the Aggies in the fall. Now, it is not known whether they will even start for the Aggies in the biggest game of the Aggies season- and possibly the school’s history – against Alabama at Kyle Field on September 14th.

The Eagle details the police report, which says: “The arrest report states that Everett admitted to police that he and Raven were involved in the altercation at Hookah Station and that when they later saw the men from the bar in the parking lot, they decided they were going to “finish what they started at the bar.”

Everett told police he didn’t hit either victim. Instead, he said, he was about to fight one of the men and came face to face with him, but someone else punched him in the face and he fell to the ground, according to the court documents. The report states that Everett told police he and Raven then ran back to his apartment.”

The school has not said whether the pair will be suspended for the start of the season.