SEC Predictions: Week 4

Last Saturday saw College Gameday once again decide to visit SEC Country, where the gang hit up Knoxville, TN for the Tennessee-Florida Game. Tons more exicitement than there had been in years for fans of Big Orange….same old result against those Gators.

Anyway, this week, Gameday’s off to travel to the University of Florida’s little brother in Tallahassee, where the mighty ‘Noles will stick their flaming spear in the University of South Carolina’s little brother and make them enjoy it. Anyway, this one should be exciting.

While in the SEC, we’ve got the ‘Tiger War’ between LSU and Auburn at Jordan-Hare which should have an atmosphere which is off the hook, an East game between Georgia and Vanderbilt that ended up like this last season (and secretly, we’re hoping for the 2012 edition to end similarly), and the battle of the Columbias when Missouri and South Carolina get together (Columbian Marching Powder not invited).

Anyway, let’s get on with it.

THE TIGER WAR (LSU at Auburn)

Auburn managed to avoid going 0-3 by beating the mighty ULM in overtime on a field goal, while LSU only got out of second gear when they realised that Idaho was giving them a game (they ended up vandalizing the Vandals). When the powers-that-be learn that LSU isn’t good playing in purple?? Anyway, this battle at night at Jordan-Hare should ben an incredible atmosphere…. but will the scoreline match? Well, if the Tigers can get Kiehl Frazier into some kind of form and the offensive line can keep him from getting killed, and the ‘D’ disrupts Zach Mettenberger from getting into rhythm – especially as RB/FB Alfred Blue is done for a few games – then possibly.

BOTTOM LINE: The Tigers from Looisiana roll. By 18.

THE COLUMBIAN CUP (Missouri at South Carolina)

Missouri managed to hold of Arizona State to go 2-1 this year, but they’ll be trying to keep themselves from going 0-2 in the SEC East when they visit an oiled-up Williams-Brice Stadium to play the Gamecocks. The Gamecocks fanbase, enjoying themselves by drinking in a parking lot for the last few hours, can’t wait to see Marcus Lattimore against a soft Missouri running defense, while if Jarvis Jones is anything to go by, Jadeveon Clowney and South Carolina’s defensive front is going to cause awesomely-named Tigers QB Corbin Berkstresser hellish problems.

BOTTOM LINE: South Carolina wins!!! South Carolina wins!!! By 21!! Back to the parking lot to celebrate!!!

THE TODD GRANTHAM CUP (Vanderbilt at Georgia)

We learned one thing in 2011: Don’t screw with Todd Grantham. He’ll just plain spew bullets at you. And when he’s finished with you, he’ll go after your boss, and possibly your first born. And if we’ve learned one thing about the Bulldogs in 2012, is that they really, really miss Jarvis Jones when he’s not playing. The Dawgs were just terrible against Florida Atlantic in an atmosphere that was more St John Passion than Sanford Passion in the first half of the game against the Owls, but Aaron Murray settled any Georgia worries and put the game away. This week, they’ll be dependent on Murray – and RB sensation Todd Gurley – to do the job against Vandy, for whom Jordan Rodgers is playing inconsistently.

BOTTOM LINE: If they can play for 60 minutes, Georgia wins by 21. If they don’t, Dawgs by 10. The game’s in a better atmosphere, though. Thankfully.

THE ‘IT COULD ONLY GET WORSE BY LOSING TO A BIG EAST TEAM’ CUP (Rutgers at Arkansas)

If you’d watched the truly awful game between Rutgers and South Florida and Alabama’s destruction of Arkansas, we don’t want to say it but we will: It’s going to be a damned close game in Fayetteville this weekend. Tyler Wilson STILL isn’t cleared to play (this is a good thing, folks), and there’s been nothing good to say about The Biggest Letdown Of The Season so far, apart from that John L. Smith is a good guy and we wish him all the best as an assistant somewhere outside of the SEC in 2012. For this one, we advise bringing the smelling salts. Having said that, if Wilson does play – as John L. Smith said in Thursday’s press conference – then Arkansas will win.

BOTTOM LINE: It gets worse. So much worse for Arkansas. Rutgers wins. By 3. /// If Wilson plays, Arkansas by 14. The boy’s a game changer. The defense still sucks though.

THE ‘BAD GAME, HUGE PRE-LUNCH PARTY’ CUP (Ole Miss at Tulane)

God’s honest truth – the party at Ole Miss for the Texas game was absolutely immense. Having said that, the game wasn’t, as the Longhorns bent Ole Reb over their knee and gave him a 30-point spanking. But if you want good parties for two games in a row, Ole Miss’ visit to Tulane should be a good one. Our cousin was a frat boy at Tulane, and the boys knew how to party. Get prepared for some well-dressed guys, some bourbon, and some genteel behavior. And all before 11am. Oh? And what’s Tulane like? They are 0-2, and bad.

BOTTOM LINE: Ole Miss becomes ROLL MISS, and goes 3-1, winning by 21.

THE ‘HOSSES VS TEETH’ CUP (Kentucky at Florida)

To mis-quote the great Drive By Truckers song “3 Alabama Icons”, if there’s two things that are loved in Kentucky, it’s horses and basketball. And maybe bourbon. Anyway, the Kentucky football hasn’t been one of them in years, and won’t be after their disastrous loss to Western Kentucky last week. As we said in an earlier article, we’ll be shocked if Joker Phillips isn’t booted out of town by season-end. Anyway, Will Muschamp is back to being God again in the view of the lovably loyal Florida faithful, and the Gators are playing with confidence. Big Blue, this is going to be BLU-TAL.

BOTTOM LINE: Florida chomps all over UK, winning by 28. And the offense clicks too, with Jeff Driskel throwing for 1,000 yards…. (well, that might be overestimating things a tad….)

THE ‘WE PLAYED WELL IN GEORGIA UNTL HALF-TIME, BUT WE’LL GET WIPED OUT IN TUSCALOOSA BY HALF-TIME’ CUP (Florida Atlantic at Alabama)

See the name of the Cup. Quite honestly not worth writing these words because this game’s going to be soooooooo done with by half-time.

BOTTOM LINE: Hey Owls! The Tide are going to beat the hell out of you! Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer, 50 points for Alabama. And none for Florida Atlantic.

 THE ‘WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED AGAINST FLORIDA BETTER NOT HAPPEN TWO WEEKS IN A ROW’ (Akron at Tennessee)

Tennessee was great for the first half of its game against Florida, completely outplaying the Gators en route to a 10-point lead. But in the second half, they completely wilted, hurt by stunning drops by excellent wide receivers, poor line play, and poor defense (TWO big plays? Isn’t that OLD Tennessee). Tennessee won’t need to bring its running game against the Mighty Zips, but it had better show it had one, or the Vols are going to suffer further losses this season and finish fourth (or worse) in the East. Which won’t make any fans in Knoxville happy – or people called Dooley.

BOTTOM LINE: Tennessee rebounds, winning by 35.

THE ‘IF THIS WAS ALABAMA VS MISSISSIPPI STATE, THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD GAME’ CUP (SOUTH Alabama at Mississippi State)

But this isn’t. Safe to say that Mississippi State successfully negotiated an away trip to Troy (winning by six), and South Alabama should provide some relief before what will be a nasty SEC West schedule.

BOTTOM LINE: Dan Mullen rules. Again. The kings of the Cowbell ring to 4-0.

THE ‘WE WISH THIS WAS SOUTH CAROLINA VS TEXAS A&M’ CUP (South Carolina STATE vs Texas A&M)

The atmosphere at Kyle Field is normally off-the-hook, and we were glad to see that that hasn’t changed now the Aggies are the SEC. Having said that, only the most psycho Aggies fan (or is that all of ’em?) will be jumping out of their skin or  for SCSU, who are 1-2 after getting shut up by South Carolina last week.

BOTTOM LINE: Aggies win! Aggies win! Aggies win! Texas A&M by 40.