SEC! SEC! SEC! Week 5 Predictions

Now that Arkansas has dived so downwards, there is no argument about what is the biggest game in the SEC this week: Tennessee’s trip to Georgia.

The last time people were this psyched up for a Tennessee game was a couple of weeks ago. The fans were wearing orange. They weren’t too happy about the Florida result (but then again, they haven’t been happy about that for years!!). But Mark Richt’s appealing to Sanford to ‘be loud’ and wear red. Without being rude, Mark, but isn’t that what Georgia fans tend to wear for games anyway? Our sympathies of the week go to the Georgia student who bought more black bodypaint that red bodypaint for this game.

Anyway, we’ve just got a hold of Dave Matthews Band’s new album, so we’re going through his library…

“Steady As We Go” (Tennessee at Georgia)

Georgia has to be very steady on Saturday night with its running game that features superb running backs Todd Gurley and Keith Marshall. They’ll need to control the ball, get some good yards from Aaron Murray and his band of wide receivers, which may or may not feature Malcolm Mitchell. If they are not steady – and their secondary continues to play as poorly as it has done thus far this year (43rd in the country), then Tyler Bray and his wideouts may rip Georgia apart. Frankly, we still can’t understand why the Dawgs are a 14-point favorite with Vegas in this one.

BOTTOM LINE: Georgia wins, but by a touchdown in a game less ‘steady’ than ‘fun’.

“Mercy” (Ole Miss at Alabama)

Ole Miss isn’t playing bad offense at the moment, but their defense was absolutely shredded by the Texas Longhorns a couple of weeks ago, and we dread to think what’s going to happen to Hugh Freeze’s charges in Tuscaloosa this weekend. Alabama is playing perfectly at the moment (apart from the end of the FAU game, when they – gosh – CONCEDED A TOUCHDOWN) on both sides of the ball, and will exploit an Ole Miss team destroyed by Texas on both sides of the ball. Having said that, we fancy the Rebs for a touchdown or two. The Rebs might start requesting for the Mercy Rule in the fourth quarter.

BOTTOM LINE: Ole Miss scores 14! But Bama hammers them, winning by 31.

“Recently” (Arkansas at Texas A&M)

To quote Mr Matthews, “Recently I’ve been thinking….” That Arkansas’ season is an absolutely disaster. The Razorbacks (with or without Tyler Wilson it seems) have been absolutely terrible, with once-vaunted running back Knile Davis only managing 208 yards on 64 carries this year. Oh, and the defense has given up a laughable 36.3 points a game – that’s good for 110th in the country, folks! And “Recently I’ve Been Thinking” that 14-point favorites Texas A&M do really good ‘We’re In the SEC’ videos. Not only that, but they’ve got a solid offense this year, and the defense hasn’t given up every lead they’ve gotten in the second half…just the big one against Florida. We love the 12th Man already.

BOTTOM LINE: Aggies get their first SEC win, winning by 14.

“Rhyme And Reason” (Missouri at UCF)

There’s a lot of fear that this one may go ‘oh dear’ for the Tigers. First of all, Gary Pinkel hasn’t got a great quarterback situation. Will it be James Franklin or will it be Corbin Berkstresser? Either way, the QBs had better be on their game for a visit to UCF side that gave Ohio State a game for three quarters of their visit to The Horseshoe – thanks to a fierce and fast defensive front that gave Braxton Miller problems all game long. Can Mizzou’s O-Line, not exactly on form after the beatings it took from both UGA and USC, give their QB some time this time? The excellently-named Blake Bortles has thrown for over 660 yards and 7 TDs this season for UCF, and Missouri had better watch out. Maybe that’s why UCF is a three point favorite in this one…

BOTTOM LINE: Thanks to Berkstresser, Missouri ekes out the win, winning by 7 in a game that goes to the wire.

 “Stay” (Wasting Time) (South Carolina at Kentucky)

‘Stay’ is just the sort of song from the University of Kentucky, since a couple of the lines go: “Let the hours roll by/ Doing nothing for the fun”. And let’s be honest, watching Kentucky football this season hasn’t been fun at all for Wildcats fans. After a procession of horrible defeats, Joker Phillips is looking like Dead Man Walking, and now – with a defense missing heroes from last season that can’t stop anybody and an offense that can’t get anything going – they have to face a nasty South Carolina team that’s firing on all cylinders, and is a 21-point favorite. We feel sorry for them, frankly.

BOTTOM LINE: South Carolina stops Kentucky by 30 in a game over by half-time. How long can this last, Kentucky fans?

“Crush” (Towson at LSU)

What LSU will be doing to Towson for this game. We were going to call it “41”, but we think LSU will score more than that on a team that got slapped by Kent State. Hence the word “Crush”. Dave Matthews never did a song called: “It’s Not Going To Be Close”. Oh, and regardless of their winning score on Saturday, LSU isn’t going to get moved up in the rankings unless Oregon loses a laugher at Mad Mike Leach’s Washington State.

BOTTOM LINE: Tigers roar, but the pollsters won’t care. LSU by 45. And if they win by less than that, then Florida State may move above them in the polls. And if they lose, then….Appalachian State anyone?