Here’s a statement about each SEC team after their Week 2 performances, and we think you’ll find it undeniable.

If you think we’re talking B.S., tweet us on @SECblog.

1. Alabama: It wasn’t exactly a surprise that Nick Saban lit Lane Kiffin’s ass on fire at the end of the Western Kentucky game. The team looked sleepy. They beat the spread, but only just! Also, Nick Saban’s strategy of saying unkind things about the team to fire them up for big games wasn’t lost on the Alabama media. It becomes a bit of a charade. Especially when the guy doing it could star in ‘Willow’.
2. Tennessee: Caused five fumbles, and recovered them. And took advantage of Virginia Tech’s fumblefingers. This team may not be as bad as we thought they were against Appalachian State.
3. Arkansas: When you make throat-slash gestures and your team loses to Bret Bielema, that’s karma, Kenny Hill.
4. Georgia: The Bulldogs have no offensive line, according to a friend who was at the debacle against Nicholls State. “This will be a ****ing long season,” he added.
5. LSU: Danny Etlng is maybe the new king of LSU. Mainly because Brandon Harris is a crapshow. We don’t know why Leonard Fournette didn’t play, but we presume he wasn’t injured.
6. Ole Miss: If this game was preparation for Alabama, then this was, er, fine.
7.  Kentucky: The Wildcats aren’t very good.
8. Florida: Can’t wait for the Tennessee game. That’ll decide the East.
9. Mississippi State: Great rebound against South Alabama. The lightning break was cool too. They are still the weakest team in the West. By a mile.
10. Texas A&M: We thought they’d pitch a shut-out against mighty Prairie View A&M. We were right.
11. Missouri: Hell froze over. Missouri scored 61 and won by 40. And Drew Locke looked good doing it, too.
12. Auburn: They papered the new oaks after the win over Arkansas State. Sean White actually looked serviceable (he threw 3 TDs), folks.
13. South Carolina: Kept on battling.
14. Vanderbilt: Middle Tennessee State’s ‘D’ makes Vanderbilt’s offense look good.

Right, we here at the SEC would like to have Week 1 back.

Sure, some of the schools are 1-0 and some are not, but none of our teams were particularly great, and some of them – even in victory – couldn’t seem to get their collective asses off the ground.

Anyway, here’s ranking how every team in the conference did this week, in order of performance:

1. Alabama (win vs USC)- The Alabama fans were ready to lynch Lane Kiffin, right until the USC QB threw a pick-6 and the Crimson Tide to shreds. It wasn’t a complete performance, but if this was considered as a bad performance after Week One, then the rest of college football is in trouble. Oh, and this Hurts kid looks good, people….
2. Texas A&M (win vs UCLA) – The wide receivers are good, and the defense – especially that Myles Garrett kid – are great. But they HAVE to play for four quarters. Listen, they were lucky – UCLA had so many chances to win this game even before free football – but wins are wins.
3. Georgia (win vs North Carolina)- Nick Chubb’s pretty damned good, y’all. Which is good, because the defense isn’t that great. And Kirby Smart hasn’t worked out who’s the good quarterback – the veteran with a pea-arm, or the kid with the cannon. We’ll go with the cannon, but maybe that’s just us.
4. Auburn (loss vs Clemson) – Look, I thought the Tigers would get shellacked at home to Clemson, but boy, was I wrong. The Tigers SHOULD have done more offensively, but Gus Malzahn doesn’t seem to have a clue as to who his starting quarterback should be. In our view, it definitely shouldn’t be Sean White. He sucks. But the defensive line? Wow.
5. South Carolina (win vs Vanderbilt) – HEY. WE DIDN’T EXPECT MUSCHAMP TO GET A WIN HERE.
6. Ole Miss (loss vs Florida State) – Well, the first half looked great, didn’t it? The rest of it – not so pretty. Chad Kelly went from Heisman to Fliesman in the space of a half. Or Florida State simply made the sort of adjustments that should make everyone else very, very afraid.
7. Florida (win vs UMass) – When the best moment of the game was Steve Spurrier doing the Usain Bolt before the game and Steve Spurrier’s interview with the SEC Network during the game, you know what’s happening on the game stank like a swamp
8. Missouri (loss vs West Virginia)  – This team isn’t going to be very good this year, but the offense actually looked like it could move a little. That’s why the Tigers tripled their entire 2015 scoring total in one game this year.
9. Arkansas (ONE-POINT win vs Louisiana Tech) – Should have lost this game, but didn’t. What will happen against a TCU game that should have lost to South Dakota State this week? Probably the shoot-out of the century.
10. Vanderbilt (loss vs South Carolina) – The reason why it’s not higher? Vandy’s best chance to win a SEC game this season was in Week One against an ordinary South Carolina team. And they blew it.
11. Kentucky (loss vs Southern Miss) – Dazzling in first half, played like they were blind in the second half. Only had under 15 plays in the second half as Southern Miss destroyed them on both sides of the ball. And you know what? What we say is true. We watched it. It wasn’t even funny.
12. Tennessee (win vs Appalachian State) – The Volunteers got very, very lucky. They should have ‘done a Michigan’ and lost on Thursday night. But they didn’t, and they are 1-0. It’ll be interesting to see if Butch Jones can turn it around against Florida. He’ll need to.
13. LSU (loss vs Wisconsin) – We loved Les Miles so much that we hoped and prayed he’d stay in Baton Rouge for another season. We hated Cam Cameron last year and the year before. Miles should have fired Cameron, and didn’t. In fact, this Spring he actually RE-UPPED Cameron’s contract for another three years where he’ll get paid around $1.2 million per year. He took a pay-cut of $300,000, but he shouldn’t have had it renewed in the first place. And the result? Brandon Harris is STILL the starting quarterback at LSU, despite sucking ass yet again.
14. Mississippi State (loss vs South Alabama) – This isn’t about a 5-star player getting banned for beating the crap out of a woman during the off-season. This is about a coach who has made it clear he doesn’t care about life in Starkville….so much so that he interviewed for other jobs. Recruits aren’t going to care as this happens, are they? Oh, and Dak Prescott’s left.

There are going to be fantastic games this SEC season. Here are the top games to watch between SEC teams or involving SEC teams. Sorry, but Alabama vs USC or LSU vs Wisconsin aren’t going to be up there….

TOP NON-CONFERENCE GAMES

1. Ole Miss vs Florida State — September 5th – Yep. That’s Monday Night Football. It’s going to be hot, humid, and the chance to see if Ole Miss can spring a surprise. There’s also a bingo to see how much ABC/ESPN say the words: “Sanctions”.
2. Virginia Tech vs Tennessee — September 10th — Because college football in one of the best NASCAR tracks in front of 160,000 drunk people on the border of Tennessee and Virginia Tech (where Bristol, TN is situated) means just one word: FUN.
3. Florida vs Florida State — November 26th – Because Florida could trainwreck Florida State’s chances of going to the College Football Play-Off. And maybe – just maybe – stamp their own credentials, too (if they beat Tennessee, Georgia and LSU in SEC play).
4. Arkansas vs TCU — September 10th – Can Arkansas spring a surprise on a team that’ll be missing Treyvon Boykin?
5. Clemson at Auburn – September 3rd – Two lightning-quick offenses with Clemson recovering from the loss of a lot of talent to the NFL in what will be an amped-up environment? Yes, we’ll take a bit of that.
6. UCLA at Texas A&M – September 3rd – Josh Rosen (future NFL first rounder) vs Myles Garrett (Definite future NFL first rounder). We can’t wait. College Station will be noisy.
7. LSU vs Wisconsin – September 3rd – Because both sides make liver damage seem cool.
8. Alabama vs USC – September 3rd – It’s low on our list because we don’t think it’ll be an exciting game (Alabama will run riot, probably), but as a match-up of two college football bluebloods….YES! We hate the fact it’s in JerryWorld, though.
9. UNC vs Georgia – September 3rd – A chance to see Jacob Eason and Kirby Smart’s first game. Don’t screw this one up, Kirby.
10. Arkansas State vs Auburn – September 10th – Jacksonville State should have beaten Auburn last season. So why not Arkansas State this year?

TOP SEC GAMES

1. Alabama at LSU — November 5th — This basically decides the SEC West and maybe a spot in the College Football Play-Off. Both seasons are probably going to go into this one unbeaten, which could make it a phenomenal game to watch. Gary Danielson will be at this game, so he’s sure to be annoying.
2. Alabama at Tennessee – October 15th – Everyone feels that this is Tennessee’s best chance of turning over the Crimson Tide. Especially at Neyland Stadium, where the atmosphere will be cooking and most probably College Gameday will be on campus.
3. Georgia at Ole Miss – September 24th – You don’t get to see these two play that often (the last time was in 2012), and the scene in Oxford will be awesome. Especially if both teams are unbeaten.
4. LSU at Florida – October 8th – The biggest test for LSU’s play-off credentials will come in the evil known as The Swamp. It should be fun.
5. Florida at Tennessee – September 24th – The Gators OWN the Vols, who haven’t beaten them since Philip Fulmer was in charge. This is the chance for UT to break the curse.
6. Texas A&M vs Arkansas – September 24th – EVERY GAME BETWEEN THESE TWO ARE NUTS.
7. Alabama vs Ole Miss – September 17th – It couldn’t happen again, could it?
8. Tennessee vs Georgia – October 1st – UGA will be looking for revenge after last year, and this could be THE SEC East showdown.
9. Florida vs Georgia – October 29th – This could be the case that the winner goes to Atlanta.
10. LSU at Texas A&M  – November 24th – We can see the scenario: Les Miles is unbeaten, going into 5-6 Texas A&M and a tidy 14 point favourite. The win? LSU goes to Atlanta, and probably the Play-Off. He loses? The season ends. And….

Happy Christmas and Happy New Year! We know that bowl season is in full swing, but we’ll be honest…..none of the bowls matter until SEC teams play in them. Here’s why: When the SEC does well everyone talks about SEC bias, SEC strength, and SEC godliness, and when SEC teams do badly, people are quick to jump down our butts and tell us how bad we are (and we’re honest — we were poor as hell as last year).

LSU’s going to kick off the SEC bowl season against Texas Tech, and Alabama – we hope  – will end it in the National Championship Game. Simple.

So here are our previews….

THE BIG ONE (College Football Play-Off Semi-Final @ Cotton Bowl, Dec 31): ALABAMA vs MICHIGAN STATE 

It’s interesting. The 2015 incarnation of the college football play-off has three teams who lost against teams they shouldn’t have done. Alabama lost to Ole Miss at home (special teams killed ’em), Michigan State lost to Nebraska (who won because the refs screwed ’em), and Oklahoma lost to Texas (they were awful). Ohio State will argue that they deserved a spot ahead of any of three teams, but Urban Meyer proved to be utterly indecisive both as a coach trying to work out who the best quarterback was (Nick Saban would have encouraged one of the three quarterbacks to transfer), and as a motivator (Ohio State thought they walked on water all season long, and suffered the consequence against Michigan State, only to rebound by actually playing like everyone thought they might by savaging Michigan at The Big House). So anyway, Michigan State and Alabama are in the game, and it looks like a defensive brawl. Both defenses have been rough to run on all season long. Both offenses have good-if-n0t-great quarterbacks in Jake Coker and Connor Cook, and we don’t know about Cook’s shoulder. It’s in rehab. It could ripped off by A*Shawn Robinson & Co if the MSU offensive line doesn’t do its job….and it didn’t exactly look like Mark Dantonio intended against Iowa. Offensively, Alabama’s got the upper hand because they’ve got a running back in Derrick Henry who could start in the NFL tomorrow (Cleveland could do with a good RB, by the way). He’s averaging a gadzillion yards a game and the only way you can put him down in the latter stages of a game is with an elephant gun. If Michigan State bottles up Henry (or downs him with an elephant gun early), then everything’s going to be on Coker to succeed. Which we would consider a better bet than an injured Cook against that Alabama defense. Alabama’s playing in its second home of the AT&T Stadium in Dallas, by the way.

PREDICTION: Alabama 28, Michigan State 14

And the other games (by game order):

TEXAS BOWL (Dec 29) – LSU vs TEXAS TECH

It’s pretty simple: Expect LSU to use Leonard Fournette a lot against Texas Tech’s almost historically-awful run defense, which was third-worst in the whole of college football. If he doesn’t get 400 yards, Les Miles should be fired on the spot and Cam Cameron won’t get back to Baton Rouge. If LSU’s defense plays well against Kliff Kingsbury’s high-powered offense, the seven-point line – LSU is favored – will be one of the best bets of bowl season.

PREDICTION: LSU 41, Texas Tech 30

BIRMINGHAM BOWL (Dec 30) – AUBURN vs MEMPHIS

One of our favorite songs of all time is Marc Cohn’s “Walking in Memphis”. Auburn fans would love to see their team walk over Paxton Lynch and the Memphis Tigers – and it’s easy to see why they might now that Memphis’ coach Justin Fuente has taken his blue suede shoes up to Blacksburg to be Virginia Tech’s coach. However much Fuente will talk about being focussed on this game, his mind will be on Hokieland. But can Auburn stop him? We think it’s still unlikely – although Auburn’s a three-point favorite – unless Gus Malzahn has suddenly found a defense in the close season.

PREDICTION: Memphis 28, Auburn 23

BELK BOWL (Dec 30) – MISSISSIPPI STATE vs NC STATE

NC State really isn’t that good, and we love Dak Prescott. We anticipate Prescott giving a hell of a swansong to the Mississippi State faithful – after the not-so-good swansong against Ole Miss.

PREDICTION: MSU 31, NC State 14

MUSIC CITY BOWL (Dec 30) – TEXAS A&M vs LOUISVILLE

Bobby Petrino’s team had one vaguely good win this season, and that was the comeback-from-the-dead win against Kentucky. Otherwise, it was like watching a drunk frat boy try and convince everybody at the party he was sober, and then falling on his face. Repeatedly. Texas A&M could be accused of being the drunk frat boy too – especially as both their starting quarterbacks have decided to leave the frat house for “other options”, which Aggies fans must be pretty pissed about. The Aggies are going to have changes on their offensive line and at starting quarterback. They’ve also got Christian Kirk, who’s a livewire. On the other end, Louisville’s going to struggle to stop Myles Garrett. Louisville’s favored by 4.5 because of A&M’s QB problem, but we think that’s tough on the Aggies, who we still believe has a very good defense.

PREDICTION: Texas A&M 38, Louisville 20

OUTBACK BOWL (Jan 1) – TENNESSEE vs NORTHWESTERN

Northwestern may have had a great 10-2 year, but the highlight was really made at the start when they stopped Christian McCaffery and Stanford on Game 1. They were considered lucky to have beaten Penn State’s crapshow of an offense, and were beaten soundly by Michigan in what most considered their biggest match-up. Now, they come against a Tennessee side who’s got a ton of momentum after shooting itself in the foot against Florida, Oklahoma and Arkansas. Tennessee’s an eight-point favorite against a stout defense, but can Northwestern really score to keep up with the Vols? We think not.

PREDICTION: Tennessee 28, Northwestern 17

CITRUS BOWL (Jan 1)  – FLORIDA vs MICHIGAN

A lot of Florida fans still have the vomit in their mouths after watching Treon Harris play in the SEC Championship Game. A lot of Michigan fans are still wondering what in the hell happened to them after their team was eviscerated at home to Ohio State. The guy with the weird expression must still be standing in Ann Arbor, crying over the fumbled punt against Michigan State. Or he’s at home, getting prepped for his trip to Florida for the Citrus Bowl, where his team’s a four-point favorite. The reason why it’s four points rather than 10 points is that Vegas loves Florida’s defense, which was exceptional for most of the Alabama game until tiredness took over. Can they get up for Michigan game? We just don’t know. My firm prediction: This will be ugly.

PREDICTION: Michigan 17, Florida 10

SUGAR BOWL (Jan 1) – OLE MISS vs OKLAHOMA STATE

Ole Miss was just a 4th-and-25 from going to the SEC Championship Game, while Oklahoma State was just two good performances from going to the College Football Play-Off (they got spanked in both games). Oh, and Ole Miss has been pretty distracted this week with the news that heralded defensive tackle decided to go professional in weed smoking and skydiving before he decided to professional as a football player. In other words, this sugar ain’t tasting nice for either side. Ole Miss is a seven-point favorite in what should be a very entertaining game.

PREDICTION: Ole Miss 48, Oklahoma State 45

TAXSLAYER BOWL (Jan 2) – GEORGIA vs PENN STATE

If you speak to Georgia and Penn State fans, both fans would have opted for their teams NOT to play in a bowl game at all, put the season to sleep, and start again with new offensive co-ordinators. And for Georgia, a new head coach. There are rumblings amongst the Penn State faithful that James Franklin has been clueless at the helm this season. Both sides came out of 2015 with no banner wins despite having banner match-ups, with Georgia losing decidedly to Florida and Alabama while Penn State played Michigan close but was then thumped by Ohio State and Michigan State. We expect the stadium in Jacksonville to be 3/4 full for this one, that feels more New Year’s hangover than anything else. Georgia’s a 6.5-point favorite.

PREDICTION: Georgia 17, Penn State 10

LIBERTY BOWL (Jan 2) – ARKANSAS vs KANSAS STATE 

I looked at Vegas’ prediction that Arkansas will win by just 13 points, and laughed. Either they haven’t seen Kansas State at all this season, or they think that Bret Bielema will have too much respect for Bill Snyder to put the kind of beating on him that he did to Charlie Strong the year before. The big question: Who does Bret Bielema HAVE any respect for? That’s a slightly more ethereal question than I want to answer at this time of writing, because my biggest question right now is: “Why in the hell has my game prediction for this one gone on for so long?”

PREDICTION: Arkansas 48, Kansas State 13

“I don’t know what the world is coming to in our profession. I think when you win nine games, that’s a pretty good season, and especially with the body of work that he’s been able to put together there for however years he’s been there. …I hate to see people that have the character and quality and ability to affect young people in a positive way like Mark Richt not be a part of our profession.” – Nick Saban.

Last Sunday, Georgia released a statement that they had decided to end the career of Mark Richt “by mutual consent”. Richt was gone, and the atmosphere around Athens has been like a funeral. There were some fans who went straight outside the Georgia offices to show their support at the firing of Mark Richt. After all, it’s a shame to get rid of one of the SEC’s most decent coaches, isn’t it? Mark Richt wasn’t a crap-talker (like Steve Spurrier), an idiot talking about his marital exploits (Bret Bielema), or a loveable idiot (Les Miles) or a Napoleon-like control freak (Nick Saban). Richt was about making his players winners on an off the field. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t.

Sometimes Richt had to boot players who decided that The Good Life wasn’t for them, and preferred to steal, to beat their girlfriends, and to smoke pot even after they had been arrested. Les Miles didn’t fire one of his players, Jeremy Hill, after he threw a punch at someone. He left it to a player vote as to whether the team would like to keep him. Richt gave players two or four-game suspensions, while other coaches in the same position in the SEC gave them one or two, coining Spurrier’s fantastic quote: “I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.” This year was a banner year for Georgia’s athletic behaviour, because no-one was suspended during the regular or off-season.

Would Georgia fans have swapped a few arrests for a trip to the SEC Championship Game this week? Absolutely.

           LUCK AND LOYALTY

And despite winning two SEC Championships and six SEC Eastern Division titles in his 14 years and amassing a 145-51 record, Mark Richt didn’t have a lot of luck.

In recent years, season-ending injuries to Keith Marshall, Todd Gurley, Malcolm Mitchell and Nick Chubb as well as members of his defense all but eradicated Georgia hopes of reaching the promised land. It seemed like no team in the SEC could injure themselves like Georgia did, and the team wasn’t as deep as some would have liked. And why not so deep? Recruitment loyalty. If every player who committed to Georgia early-on had actually stayed a Bulldog, Georgia would have had a Top.5 recruiting class for year in, year out. A couple of years ago it was Derrick Henry. He’s doing OK at Alabama. Now it’s top running back B.J. Emmons. Now, top UGA recruit Jacob Eason, who is meant to be the saviour of the UGA passing game, is now visiting Florida. If he decides to go to Gainseville, you can be assured that the Dawg fans might be burning down McGarity Island, to misquote Larry Munson. My take on recruitment loyalty is that Mark Richt didn’t text the kids 400 times a day like certain SEC head coaches did, and in a world where high school kids want to “feel the love” all the time, a coach who actually had other priorities in life didn’t make them feel ‘loved’, so they went elsewhere to get their ego stroked.

THE END HAD TO COME

But although it’s sad to see one of the SEC’s great coaches get booted, it’s hardly surprising.

His record against Florida was 5-9, and 2-4  against South Carolina since 2010. He’s also 2-3 against Alabama since Nick Saban was in charge (3-3 overall). And losing a 21-point lead to Tennessee, breaking a long winning streak didn’t make the locals happy, either. And during the final years of his tenure, Georgia’s ability to fall to pieces while the game was won was quite incredible. That probably didn’t help him, either.

A blog noted that since 2007 , Georgia’s record was 1-10 against teams who ended the year in the Top 10, and 2-10 against teams who were Top 10 at the time. Georgia has not been a top 25 team half the time since 2007 (2009, 2010, 2013, 2015). To say that the firing had been coming would be an understatement.

And the blog noted that the future’s bleak in 2016, after the graduation of 20 seniors and the departure of others to the NFL. To

Add to that this season, where offensively Georgia went from great to clueless (we’d blame a lot of that not necessarily on Richt so much as Brian Schottenheimer, who many will be hoping gets his marching orders in the next week), and struggled with a crappy Auburn, a mighty Georgia Southern and an even-mightier Georgia Tech. For $3.31m, that’s not what Georgia boosters and administrators expect – especially for a team that some felt would challenge for a National Title in 2015.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Was it sad to see Mark Richt go at Georgia? Sure. Was it surprising? No. People had been asking for his head every time Georgia had one of those comical/heartbreaking losses people talked about. Will he land on his feet somewhere else? Yes. And that’s what happens to good guys.

It was quite a week in the SEC. And while it was about the football, it kinda was and it kinda wasn’t. We had Cam Newton threatening to slap the s_(& out of a heckler before the Iron Bowl, Les Miles getting chaired off against Texas A&M after he kept his job despite everyone saying that he was out of one, and Mark Richt getting booted from Georgia despite a 9-3 season. Down South, the Florida Gators were wonderfully inept in a 27-2 home loss to Florida State, and Ole Miss won the BATTLE OF THE EGG in CowbellLand. Elsewhere, Kentucky lost to Louisville after being 21-0 up (and their QB Patrick Towles has said he’s transferring) and Missouri didn’t show up against Arkansas.

So here’s our final regular season standings:

1. Alabama (1): Because no-one’s rolling like the Tide right now in college football. The defense is scary. Listen, Auburn kept it close until the final quarter, but then Derrick Henry and the rest of the team put on the after burners, and there was nothing that Gus Malzahn’s team could do catch up.
2. Ole Miss (3): Yes, we know they got the crap slapped out of them by Florida, but right now if the two sides had a re-match in The Swamp, I’d take Ole Miss. Florida’s offense is horrific right now. Ole Miss is not. And Ole Miss beat Alabama. Which Florida is not going to.
3. Florida (2): Because they are going to the SEC Championship Game, and we have to be nice.
4. Arkansas (6): Yes, we know they lost 51-50 last week and are on a one game winning streak after slamming Missouri, but the Razorbacks are a team not many want to face in a bowl game right now. Hogs fans would love to play Texas Tech. If they, it’ll be first to 900. And we’ll love it!
5. LSU (8): The way LSU played on Saturday night was inspired, and gave a lot of people hope in the program that didn’t have it a week ago. Funny what will happen when your boosters try and fire one of the most successful coaches LSU has ever had. Joe Alleva’s ashen face at the press conference was a joy to watch. Seriously, he looked like the husband who came home and found someone ****ing his wife. Les Miles now needs to fire Cam Cameron. Quickly.
6. Texas A&M (4): Aggies fans absolutely loathe offensive co-ordinator Jake Spavital. Funny, not many choice words for John Chavis’ lack of run defense coaching, though.
7. Tennessee (7): Smashing Vanderbilt gets you up a notch, but this offense could be quite something next year if everyone’s not hurt. The Vols are certainly playing like they are on a high.
8. Mississippi State (5): Massive disappointment on their goodbye to Dak Prescott- and Prescott himself was the biggest one.
9. Auburn (10): Played with a lot of moxie, but were ultimately overmatched against Alabama.
10. Georgia (9): Goodbye, Mark Richt. You will be missed. Georgia fans are praying you take Brian Schottenheimer with you.
11. Kentucky (11): Blowing a 21-0 lead and then getting the news your starting quarterback’s leaving? That’s Kentuckeeeee.
12. South Carolina (14): Played their collective asses off against Clemson and came up just short. There is hope.
13. Vanderbilt (12): Getting blown out by your rival is not a good look, especially for a defense that was meant to be hugely improved.
14. Missouri (14): Ugh.

It’s that time in college football where everyone’s getting hired and everyone’s getting fired, but the big news might well be at the University of Alabama, where the Crimson Tide may well be looking an offensive and defensive co-ordinator when all is said and done.

It’s obvious to me and any writer out there that offensive co-ordinator Lane Kiffin won’t want to stay long-time in Tuscaloosa. He’s got a 35-21 head coaching record from his days at Tennessee and Southern California (we can’t call ’em USC on a SEC website), has a great offensive mind and is a fantastic recruiter. He’s also as loyal as an arms dealer.

His agent, Jimmy Sexton, is very good at finding spots for his clients, and with recruiting hotspots like Miami and Georgia up for grabs (as well as South Carolina, Missouri and Virginia (amongst others) for the record), it won’t be a surprise if Kiffin walks after the National Championship Game.

Then there’s Kirby Smart. If you’ve spent any time in Athens, Georgia, you’ll know that Kirby Smart is LOVED by Georgia fans. He started his coaching career at Georgia as an administrative assistant, returned there in 2005 as a running backs coach, and then went to work for Nick Saban. He also played as a defensive back for Georgia for four years, where he ended up as an all-SEC player in 1998. For us, there’s one major issue with Georgia signing Smart: He’s got absolutely ZERO head coaching experience. So why give a person their first career start at one of the biggest schools in the land?

But for Smart – who has been with Saban as his defensive co-ordinator for the last nine years – there are other interesting job opportunities. Matt Campbell has left Toledo (who Arkansas fans may remember) to be the head coach of Iowa State. Justin Fuente won’t be coaching at Memphis anymore, because he’s going to replace Frank Beamer at Virginia Tech. And Bowling Green is expected to lose its head coach Dino Babers to UCF in a move that we can only see as a ‘move-across’ rather than a ‘move up’ (but that’s just us).  All three schools would be happy to get hold of a coach with Smart’s caliber. Otherwise, if Missouri’s looking for a defensive coach and decide not to keep current DC Barry Odom, why wouldn’t they move for Smart? I just think that Smart going to Georgia would be a bad move, but Smart going somewhere else right now would be a smart one. Excuse the pun.

Nick Saban seems to be supporting schools hiring Smart. He said on the SEC Championship teleconference: “I’ve said many times before in years past that Kirby has done a fantastic job for us and I think he’ll be an outstanding head coach,” he said. “I don’t think everything you do as an assistant necessarily prepares you as a head coach, but I also think by the same token that Kirby is very capable of doing all the things necessary to be a head coach. He’s a good teacher, players respond to him well. He’s outgoing. He’s got a good personality. I think he’ll do a good job in all the other areas that you’re talking about. I don’t have any question about that at all.”

He added that he hasn’t had any contacts from schools about Smart. Or Kiffin, for that matter. “I would expect those things to happen when we get finished playing.”

So what would happen to Alabama if Kiffin and Smart both left? Probably nothing. This is the biggest team in the land. They could go out and get two great ones. And if Kirby Smart did in fact go to Athens, there’s a pretty useful defensive co-ordinator in (current Georgia DC Jeremy Pruitt (who the players absolutely love) who we’re pretty sure Saban would like on his staff in Tuscaloosa.

And in answer to the question: Will Lane Kiffin and Kirby Smart leave Alabama in 2015? Yes. Where? We haven’t a clue.

GeIt’s strange to say this, but Ole Miss vs LSU could have been the play-in game for the SEC Championship. Had Ole Miss actually played  in The Swamp (they were destroyed instead) or played Arkansas with any respect in the least (they didn’t), and had LSU had an offensive co-ordinator that wasn’t Cam Cameron, this would have a match-up for the SEC West and a possible spot in the play-off. Unfortunately, it didn’t, and LSU’s trip to The Grove is suddenly higher on the “Who Gives A Crap?” scale than we thought would be possible before LSU’s trip to Tuscaloosa, where they were promptly disassembled.

So here are the non-conference games in order of crappiness. Many thanks to thesaurus.com for the synonyms….

1.  Charlotte at Kentucky (HORSE MANURE) — The FAU/Florida clash should be No.1, but Charlotte lost to FAU, which makes the 49ers eerily similar to their NFL counterpart. They are in ESPN’s Bottom 10 after losing to equally-crappy UTSA.
2. Florida Atlantic at Florida (GATOR FECES) — The mighty FAU are a fantastic 2-8, with wins over Charlotte and FIU. They are also considered for Bottom 10-ness. They’ll really threaten Vernon Hargreaves and that Gators secondary with that incredible vertical passing game (or whatever).
3. Charleston Southern at Alabama (ELEPHANT DUNG) — This Charleston Southern team’s so great that it’s 9-1. In the Big South. The Big South is a FCS Division. And although there are still over 1,000 tickets left, we doubt that there will even be 60,000 in the Stadium (although no doubt the Crimson Tide will be claiming another sell-out to go with a 57th National Championship on Saturday).
4. The Citadel at South Carolina (BIRD CRAP) — Can’t find out what The Citadel does, because – yes – it’s a 1-AA school. I still think that The Citadel and Charleston Southern could probably beat Charlotte and FAU, so that’s why these games aren’t higher on the list.
5. Idaho at Auburn (EAGLE EXCRETA) —  Idaho’s passing offense is ranked 31st in the country. Auburn’s passing offense is ranked 108th. Unfortunately for the 3-7 Vandals, they give up 488.9 yards/game, good for 116th (Auburn’s 79th, giving up 411.8). Idaho scores 29.2 points per game, and Auburn scores 25.7. Some dude called Buck Cowan is a Top 10 tight end in college football, according to Idaho’s Twitter (“The 8th Best!”). The Vandals have beaten Ohio, ULM and Troy. They’ve also lost three in a row. Is that enough of a rundown?
6. Georgia Southern at Georgia (DAWG TURD) — Georgia Southern’s 7-3 and if  you believe some of my buddies who actually went to the school, it’s a hell of a lot of fun to go to school there. Southern likes to score points (they average over 37 a game), but their schedule’s so crappy we hardly expect a monster performance. The last time GSU played a Power 5 team (West Virginia) they lost 44-0. While we don’t think they are going to get shut out in Sanford, we DO think the game will be over by halftime.

THE BIG PREDICTION: SEC SCHOOLS WILL GO 6-0

AND NOW…..THE BRUISING, BLEEDING, BIIIIIIG IN-CONFERENCE SEC MATCH-UPS (In order of “greatness”)

1. LSU at Ole Miss — Ole Miss really, really hates LSU. This girl Ashley made national headlines by drunkenly attacking her friends after the Rebs lost in 2014. If you haven’t seen the video, watch it. It’s hilarious. And Ashley didn’t actually go to Ole Miss, either. Oh, and going into the game, both are struggling. Ole Miss is actually playing better than LSU, while the word on the street – and the media – is that if LSU loses its third straight game (Alabama and Arkansas were the last two), Les Miles is once again fighting for his life. Bearing in mind the school’s state of finances, I don’t believe that they want to pay out $15m to buy him out. Ole Miss is a four-point favorite, and we’re taking the REBELS by 10.
2. Mississippi State at Arkansas — Mississippi State was destroyed by Alabama at home. Arkansas is rolling suddenly after back-to-back shock wins over Ole Miss and LSU respectively. This game could be pretty interesting, folks. The bookies reckon it will be, because Arkansas is only a three-point favorite. We think ARKANSAS wins by 7. 
3. Tennessee at Missouri — While many people believe that getting continually punched in the face would be more fun than watching this game, it’s an opportunity for many to say goodbye to Gary Pinkel, who’s going to need your prayers in the coming months. Tennessee’s a nine-point favorite. We’ll take VOLS by 10.
4. Texas A&M at Vanderbilt – Someone on our Twitter feed said that this game might be a doozy if Vanderbilt start well. More like snoozy. Vanderbilt is only a 7-point underdog. WE’LL TAKE THE AGGIES BY MORE THAN 14.

We thought Dak Prescott would give Alabama a run for their money in Starkville on Saturday. We even (deep breath) thought they might score the upset. God, were we wrong. Alabama went in absolutely beat the “cow” out of the “cowbell”, and boy, it was frightening to watch. Elsewhere, Georgia beat Auburn won The Battle Of The Trainwrecks, and Arkansas showed some more guts in a late season run by going to Baton Rouge and toppling LSU. Oh, and Florida beat South Carolina by 10, in a brutally uninteresting game, and Kentucky’s season-ending implosion continued with a loss at Vanderbilt. Missouri found a win in their locker against BYU in an emotional game after head coach Gary Pinkel announced his resignation, and Tennessee and Texas A&M rolled.

Oh, and sorry about not firing out the predictions for the game. We were busy looking at news about the Paris attacks, and communicating them via our Twitter feed. That seemed to be more important.

Anyway, without further ado…

1. Alabama (1): Unless the opposition’s Ole Miss, this team is unstoppable. Seriously. We fear for any team that’s going to get in Derrick Henry and the Crimson Tide’s way during the play-off. That’s you, Auburn and Florida. We can’t wait to see you and your receding hairline in New York, Mr Henry.
2. Florida (2): The offense is suddenly absolutely horrible, and seemingly getting worse since they smashed Ole Miss in The Swamp. The Gators went up 17-0 and were strolling….before South Carolina came back strong. Now, imagine if they go up 17 against Alabama and relax. They’ll get nuked.
3. Ole Miss (4): They are up here NOT by the virtue of having lost to Arkansas, but by the virtue that the Rebels beat Alabama and Mississippi State really didn’t. We still can’t wait for The Egg Bowl. But before that, Ole Miss have a nasty game against LSU.
4. Texas A&M (6): Didn’t really rise up because they savaged Western Carolina 41-17, or because we’re giving a huge amount of credence to the overtime win over Arkansas, but because we reckon they’ll be better than LSU come Thanksgiving.
5. Arkansas (7): We laughed at the thought of Bret Bielema’s team finding any form this season, but back-to-back huge wins at Ole Miss and LSU proves that he might not be such a bad coach after all….
6. Mississippi State (3): Wow. That was a home letdown, wasn’t it?
7. LSU (5):  Talk about the wheels coming off the wagon after a big loss. Leonard Fournette’s 127 yards and 1 TD looked like nothing as Alex Collins ran for 141 and 2, and the Razorbacks housed Les Miles & Co 31-14. And we think if the two played again, Mississippi State would win.
8. Tennessee (8): No heart attacks for the Vols, who won 24-0 against mighty, mighty North Texas.
9. Georgia (9): Awful offensive performance, but Georgia fans! Just think of it like this: If Georgia HADN’T have won against awful Auburn, it could have been Mark Richt’s head.
10. Auburn (10):  Awful offensive performance. Just think of it like this: If Auburn had one, you might not have a lot to complain about, Auburn fans!
11. South Carolina (12): Great comeback against Florida couldn’t become perfection. The story of the Gamecocks’ season.
12. Vanderbilt (13): The highest the Commodores have been this year! Derek Mason’s got this defense improving!!
13. Missouri (14): Great win over BYU after Gary Pinkel’s shock resignation.
14. Kentucky (12): Wow. The wheels are falling off the Mark Stoops wagon fast, aren’t they?

Without further ado, here’s our rankings for Week 10 of the SEC Football Blog.

1. Alabama (1): It’s funny. Alabama does well against teams that have weak quarterbacks and not a great quarterback (Georgia, LSU). Alabama does well against terrible quarterbacks (Texas A&M). Alabama does less well against a mobile quarterback,with good receivers and a better running game (Tennessee, first half of Arkansas). Alabama loses against teams who have got a good defense, a good quarterback, and very good wide receivers (Ole Miss).
2. Florida (2): Er, the win against Vanderbilt was….er…..absolutely terrible. If they play like this offensively against Alabama the winner of the SEC West, then they’ll lose by 3 touchdowns. The defense is tight, though. Not many teams can run on these guys. Or pass, either.
3. Mississippi State (6): Is Dan Mullen the best coach in the SEC? Just maybe. Is Dak Prescott the best QB in the SEC? Definitely.
4. Ole Miss (4): [Wright Thompson voice] A student lies there in The Grove. Around him are deserted tents, half-full red solo cups, and the odd smashed chandelier. I walk slowly to go speak to him. I’ve been to The Grove a million times, so I make sure that he’s OK. Maybe he just wants some piece. It’s been a hell of a day. I look closer, and realise that he’s got no pants and no underwear on. He’s holding a bottle of Jim Beam in one hand. His bowtie is a mess, and his shirt is covered in beer, mess, tears and grass stains. “Arkansas did this to me!”, he says. “We lost in overtime to freaking Arkansas. Arkansas lost to Toledo. We. Beat. Alabama. And we lost to Arkansas. ” He can’t stop repeating himself. Maybe it’s the bourbon. Or maybe it’s the shock that once again the Rebels might not be taking the trip to Atlanta despite beating their hated rival. Or maybe he’s an Ole Miss fan. We’re used to shock, rage and upset living in Oxford. But Hugh Freeze was bring it all to us. And then it happened. Ole Miss Football happened.” Ole Miss is about 5-5 on batshit-crazy plays this season after THE lateral play, by the way.
5. LSU (3): The media should punch themselves in the face. They hyped up this LSU team so much that the Committee drank the same Kool-Aid and put the Tigers at No.2. ESPN gave them a College Gameday spot. This was a team who hasn’t played that well all season. And Brandon Harris was never a world-beater. And the defense was never that good. Yes, Leonard Fournette’s a great player, but when Alabama can be aggressive because when you stop him the pressure’s put hard on Brandon Harris, Les Miles is onto a loser. And that’s what happened.
6. Texas A&M (5): Team Trainwreck has just rolled into College Station. Kyler Murray goes from God to goat (not G.O.A.T.) almost at a flick of a stwitch, John Chavis’ big-time defense really isn’t looking that big-time at the moment, and to cap it all, A&M got slapped 26-10 at home to mighty Auburn. We know that there’s dissatisfaction amongst Aggies players about playing time. I get the feeling that we’ll be saying goodbye to OC Jake Spavital at the end of the season, and Kevin Sumlin’s seat it getting hotter.
7. Arkansas (7): Bret Bielema tells the media on Monday: “I made sweet, sweet love to my wife on the weekend. We did it while watching that crazy lateral play.“
8. Tennessee (8): If you’re a Tennessee fan, we’d suggest you go and see a doctor about your heart when the season is over.
9. Georgia (9): Our prediction that the Georgia vs Auburn game could be awful still stands up, despite the Dawgs scoring 27 this week. Sony Michel and Keith Marshall had good games, and Greyson Lambert was not terrible. But Georgia vs Auburn will be a terrible game.
10. Auburn (10): See above. Except we’d argue Auburn’s actually in a better direction right now. And they might get to bowl eligibility. Which is quite an effort bearing in mind how crappily they started the season.
11. South Carolina (12): Kentucky beat South Carolina so should be above them, but South Carolina’s playing the better ‘ball since Spurrier left. And the wheels seem to have come off Kentucky’s season at some speed.
12. Kentucky (12): See what we said about South Carolina. And add this: “You know you’re doing terrible when Georgia drops 27 on you and they don’t have a quarterback”.
13. Vanderbilt (13): Weird to think that Vandy will probably look at themselves and think: “We were unlucky to lose in The Swamp on Saturday.” Derek Mason is ensuring this team is no walkover.
14. Missouri (14): The team is refusing to practice until the Missouri President resigns. Some bright spark pointed out: “Since when did they show up to practice?”