It’s Week 7 in the SEC, and things are suddenly getting interesting.

On Saturday night we’ve got the battle of the unbeatens as Florida travels to LSU. College Gameday will be there. It’s a night game in Death Valley, and thank God, Gary Danielson will not be there. Earlier, Alabama will go to Kyle Field to play Texas A&M on the CBS 3.30 game, and Georgia hosts South Carolina to start the day. Otherwise, it’s Mississippi State going to Tennessee (12pm), the battle of the NCAA-sanctioned as Ole Miss travels to Missouri, and a game that no-one should subject anyone to watch as Arkansas travels to Kentucky. Oh, and UNLV travels to Vanderbilt.

To say the least, it’s cardiac Saturday in the SEC. On both ends of the spectrum.

Anyway, once again we’re going with the order of interesting. And good. But mostly interesting.

1. No.7 Florida at No.5 LSU (-13.5): Death Valley is going be LOUD. Give Cajuns 12 hours to consume grain alcohol, and it’s going to create quite the atmosphere. Throw in a rivalry game where both sides don’t like each other (they’ve played each other every year since 1971) in the least, and the fact that the last seven games have been decided by 8 points or less. Oh, and Florida fans are still mad at LSU’s band playing during Tom Petty’s ‘I won’t back down’. No doubt that the LSU fanbase will be asking Florida’s fanbase to do something bestial to Mike The Tiger which is both dangerous and weird. There’s also the fact that both teams are unbeaten, with Florida’s defense actually playing better than LSU’s, but LSU’s offense is apparently the 5th wonder of the world (according to the press), with everyone getting orgasmic over Joe Burrow. LSU will be spreading Florida out all day, but Florida have great defensive playmakers to combat LSU. We can’t believe the spread’s as high as 13-1/2 in the favour of LSU. Prediction: LSU squeaks by 6 in a classic. 
2. No.2 Alabama (-17) at No.24 Texas A&M: No. 3 on Texas A&M’s horror show of a schedule will be at Kyle Field, as Nick Saban trots into town to face off against Jimbo Fisher, who’s having a distinctly ordinary year. The chaps at Solid Verbal pointed out that Alabama’s rush defense isn’t special, but then again, nor’s Texas A&M’s rush attack. The secondary will find Kellen Mond easy to deal with. This could get ugly early — and we’re not just talking about the poor audience who have to listen to Gary Danielson. Prediction: Alabama by 31.
3. Mississippi State (-7) at Tennessee: If you like pure, unbridled trainwreckery on both sides of the ball (if you like good offense watch Texas vs Oklahoma or if you like a good slaughter watch Georgia vs South Carolina), then THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU. I can’t think of where both teams have been good this year, but that’s what might make it interesting. For a half against Georgia, Tennessee believed in itself when QB Brian Maurer came out. He’ll face a somewhat easier defense in Mississippi State, who are struggling with so much loss on the defensive side of the ball, and aren’t great offensively either. This could be fun mayhem. Prediction: Oh screw it. Tennessee by 3. Maybe 13-10.
4. Ole Miss vs Missouri (-12): There’s a lighter air in Columbia right now, as the NCAA have told Missouri that the result of their appeal against sanctions will come to light in the next two weeks. Since their awful showing against Wyoming, Missouri has done exactly what’s been required of them. Eyes will be on Kelly Bryant and whether he’s going to be massively affected by his knee brace, but LB Cale Garrett is done for the season after getting injured against Nevada. Ole Miss showed some teeth against Alabama in the first and final quarters of that game, but we honestly don’t know what to think about the Rebels. Prediction: Missouri wins by 10.
5. South Carolina at No.3 Georgia (-23 1/2): This is going to be easy going for the Bulldogs against a very, very ordinary South Carolina team. Even if they aren’t having the best of it in the first half, Georgia can adjust so well that they can blow sides away. This will be one of the sides they blow away. Prediction: Georgia by 31
6. Arkansas vs Kentucky (-6 1/2): This is going to be one of the most odious games of the season. Prediction: Arkansas by 7 in an utter trainwreck of a game.
7. UNLV vs Vanderbilt (-15): Here’s why this is more interesting that Arkansas vs Kentucky. UNLV is 1-4 and hasn’t scored more than 23 all season, and the LOWEST the defense has given up is 30. On Vanderbilt’s side, they are 1-4 and their only victory has been against Northern Illinois. The reason why we like it is simple gambling. UNLV gives up 5.28 rush yards per game, and Vanderbilt’s not exactly awful. So here’s our prediction: Ke’Shawn Vaughn puts up 150, and Vanderbilt wins by 21. 

OTHER GAMES PREDICTIONS:

Oklahoma by 18 over Texas

Notre Dame by 21 over USC.

Right, so we’ve been plunged into the deep end by Week 6 of the college football season.

In the AP’s rankings, Alabama is No.1, followed by Clemson, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU and Oklahoma. Florida, Wisconsin, Notre Dame and Penn State fill out your Top 10. Auburn (12th) and Texas A&M (24th) are the other SEC teams on the list.

So here are our power rankings for the SEC. This is less about ‘how they look’ and more about ‘who they’ve beaten’.

1. Florida (6-0): Beat Auburn in a monstrously noisy atmosphere in The Swamp. It was like being back in Spurrier’s time again. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty (they turned the ball over 4 times), but the Gators’ defense is amazing. The LSU game in Baton Rouge – with College Gameday there – will be fascinating.
2. Georgia (5-0): The Bulldogs weren’t great against Tennessee in the first half, but then they steamrolled the Volunteers.
3. LSU (5-0): Cruised against Utah State and the defense turned up for the first time this season. Joe Burrow continues to fascinate. Their win against Texas puts them above Alabama, but Georgia’s win over Notre Dame looks better.
4. Alabama (5-o): Alabama being idle vaulted them above Auburn for one reason: The Crimson Tide would have done a lot better after grabbing FOUR turnovers against Florida than Auburn did.
5. Auburn (5-1): Bo Nix isn’t brilliant. Auburn’s defense is. Auburn actually needs to beat one of LSU, Georgia or Alabama to ensure Gus Malzahn’s in a job come next season. After an inept offensive performance in The Swamp, the daggers are already unsheathed again.
6. Missouri (4-1): The Tigers dispatched Troy, but the defense – after the dreadful Wyoming loss – actually looks great, and the offense looks better with Kelly Bryant. We’ll see if Bryant’s knee is better this week, and LB Cale Garrett’s pectoral injury will hurt, but the Tigers are still deep at linebacker.
7. Texas A&M (3-2): The Aggies’ two losses have been to Clemson and Auburn and they’ve looked poor. And they looked low on confidence against Arkansas. The Aggie tribe are getting restless. But they have to calm down: They’ve got one of nastiest schedules in the country. And they aren’t terrible.
8. Ole Miss (3-3): The offense is fun, and the defense isn’t completely horrible.
9. Mississippi State (3-2): Garrett Schrader or Tommy Stevens aren’t looking great options for Joe Moorhead. I’m not loving either one. This could well be the second-worst team in the SEC West.
10. South Carolina (2-3): I’m not wildly convinced about the Gamecocks, but they’ve suffered from the season-ending injury to Jake Bentley. Their 24-7 win over Kentucky showed that they are a middling SEC team who’s probably going to a bad, boring New Year’s Day Florida Bowl.
11. Arkansas (2-3): We know that the ‘Backs haven’t gotten a win in the SEC in 13 games, but the performance against Texas A&M could be a real boost for the program. They go on the road to Kentucky on Saturday, where it will be a true trainscrash of SEC mediocrity.
12. Tennessee (1-4): The Volunteers blew two games against Georgia State and BYU that would have made things seem a little nicer for Jeremy Pruitt. The first half against Georgia was actually pretty good, but then Georgia made the adjustments and laid waste to the Vols. On the bright side, true freshman QB Brian Maurer gave the offense a bit of oomph. There is some hope for the Vols (they still have to play Kentucky and Vanderbilt) to get a win or two in the SEC East.
13. Kentucky (2-3): The offense is awful (41 points in-conference this year), and the defense is worse. And still, they should have beaten Florida. The marginal Gators loss is suddenly looking their best SEC result so far after bludgeonings by Mississippi State and a not-very-good South Carolina side.
14. Vanderbilt (1-4): Fire. Derek. Mason. Now.

It’s nighttime in Death Valley. The War Eagle Flies. We’re running through the T. We’re chomping. We’re asking how ‘bout them Dawgs. We’re clanging, pig sooein’, rammer jammerin’, Ole miss by damn’. We’re a 12^th Man, the ZOU in MIZ, a Commodore, and a Wildcat. There’s even 2001 or maybe a Sandstorm.

Our churches aren’t small. They are megachurches, holding a screaming congregation that will bury you with noise. They’ve even been allowed some in-game communion wine to add to their palates during services now. It should make Saturday church a little louder. When they win with a God-given upset, they jump over railings, get stuck in hedges, surf goalposts through crowded streets and toilet paper trees. When they lose, they look like their world has been torn apart. The pretty sorority girls and young frats with their bow ties look miserable. The painted clowns look clownish and stunned. All of them use words to the heavens that they wouldn’t take with grandma to church.

But in our churches, it’s important to know our pastors. There are 14 of them. If they bring home The Ultimate Prize, then the size of the statue won’t do the achievement justice. Of course, the pastor must obey the main commandment of SEC football: Thou Shalt Not Lose. Particularly if it’s the cardinal sin of losing Eggs, third Saturdays, big games or Cocktail Parties – or losing too many SEC games. If they do, hotter seats than hell will appear and behinds will sit on them. Pastor Gus of Auburn has sought redemption a couple of time from being excommunicated. But this year’s another year. It doesn’t matter if you’re likeable. If you don’t help the congregation reach the higher plain, you’re out. Some elders will give a new pastor two or three years to work their magic, but after that, notice will be hammered on the door like Martin Luther did with his articles.

To make a pastor successful to his congregations, he must be able to bring in the moving parts from smaller, younger churches every season. Churches aren’t expected to fizzle out. We at the SEC don’t mind paying for talent, as long as we don’t get caught. Much. And after their success in college, they go to Big Church Sundays. We implore Mr Goodell, high elder of the professional league, to skip the preliminaries and just call your professional conference the SEC-FL? After all, our boosters probably pay more than some of your teams do. This year, Tua will again make the tongues waggle, although we’re also excited by Bryant, Swift, Fromm, Delphit, Jeudy, Mond, Williams, Stingley and a guy based in the Mid-West known only as ‘Albert O’. But there will be many more names by season-end. Because this is the SEC.

The pastors and the congregrations know who the biggest church in our movement are. At the moment, they are in Tuscaloosa and Athens. They are going to be pretty good in the Year of Our Lord 2019, we hear. They’ve got the West and East divisions running scared and their schedules measure up sweetly. It’s hard to see who is going to beat them. Hell, it’s hard to see who’s going to give them a good fight. We expect more drama at the SEC Championship Game. And no trick plays please, Kirby. The likes of LSU, Auburn and Florida will feel like ‘also-rans’, even if that’s not the case. There’s always room for the upset. See the last time Georgia rolled into Death Valley. Take a moment in thinking about the orders of service for 14 teams for the Pastor Jimbo’s congregation in College Station. It’s downright evil.

But there will be competition for the Ultimate Prize this year from other denominations. The congregation in Clemson in the Atlantic Denomination is pretty good. As are Sooners from Oklahoma in the Southwest. There are the people of ‘The’ and ‘Big Blue’ in icier Big 11, and we’re heard that there might even be a good team in the NorthWest who are known as Huskies or Ducks in the driven down out West. But against us, can they really hold their own? If there’s two teams that will compete with us for the Ultimate Prize, we’ll go for the ‘Eyes and the Tigers. The rest will falter and fall.

Beyond the transfers, the head coaches, the stadium reductions and the backhanders to recruits, the NCAA can change something else that would really take the sport a step forward: The schedules.

The ACC and SEC play 8 in-conference games and 4 non-conference games, while the Big Ten, Pac-12 and Big XII all play nine.

Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban both expressed a preference for nine games. In fact, Nick Saban has been lobbying for it since 2012, while Gus Malzahn last year admitted he’s had a Damascus experience on scheduling (probably because Auburn’s is so arduous year after year): “Nine I think is best for us moving forward to make the schedules more equal across the conference.”

Kirby Smart of Georgia – also one of the SEC’s most powerful coaches – joined the ‘pro’ shout. He said: “I think it [would be] a good thing, but I think you will have teams with more losses. Does it affect a team getting in the playoff? I don’t know, but I know you have a lot more games to get up for, a lot more good rivalry games. It’s not just about travelling, it’s just as much about the atmosphere of playing an SEC opponent, I think you are playing more comparable teams to your talent level, I think it’s important for college football.”

Other coaches haven’t expressed an opinion – possibly because half of them lost their jobs after the 2017 season, and the new ones have yet to have a voice. The only time that voters voted to keep the schedule as-is was 2013. Will Muschamp, while he was at Florida, said that it was likely to move to nine games in 2013, but never happened.

The ACC has done the same. While this isn’t a huge surprise bearing in mind the ACC and SEC are two of the biggest superpower conferences in college football right now (although the ACC Network is still going to be minor compared to the SEC Network and the Big Ten Network (that may well turn around during basketball season), it has to change.

For the fans! 

Why? Because not only are Big Ten, Big XII and Pac-12 looking at tougher, in-conference schedules which have in the end worked out nicely for the ACC and SEC, which have captured the last four National Championships. Both Clemson and Alabama in the last four days have lost less than five games. Combined.

Also in the SEC, the way that the rivalries work is rather stupid. What could be more dislikeable than putting together one permanent rival and one division rival?

It means that the likes of Alabama and Georgia hardly play each other in the regular season, and teams like Auburn get royally screwed because they have to play Georgia – and Alabama – every season.

We get that SEC fans like their rivalries. We love them too. If it was a nine-game format, the Iron Bowl will still exist. So will the Egg Bowl, the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and LSU vs Alabama. We can still have the major cross-divisional rivalries like the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry (Auburn vs Georgia) and the Third Saturday in October, but we can also have one more cross-divisional games, which means the fans (probably quite important) get to see more East vs West games (which may reverse the trend of declining attendances, too), which will also be good for the ones that pay the bills – the SEC Network, CBS or ESPN.

Why should the SEC and ACC changing their schedules change college football in general? Easy. It shuts up the argument altogether. It makes for equality between FBS Conferences, shutting up the whole “we play more in-conference games than you”, because the other one (“We play in a more difficult conference than you”) becomes null and void. Not only that, it’s an easier job for the College Football Play-Off Committee to work out who’s should be ‘in’ with a flat schedule, and also, it pretty much shuts-up massive controversy.

What about the NCAA?

The NCAA will argue that ‘scheduling is not our business’, but that’s absolute crap. If the NCAA is happy to govern everything else, then why not govern one of the key aspects of the game? Not only that, but why are the conferences letting coaches or Athletic Directors – who all have biases on this subject but may well be fired before the next vote comes out (the SEC last voted on it in 2013 and ACC ADs voted on it in 2016) – vote on this altogether. The NCAA should mandate this and that would be that.

The ones that will suffer, inevitably, will be the smaller non-FBS schools, which rely on coming to a stadium and getting the living crap beaten out of them for $1 million (there are quite a few exceptions.

But unfortunately, college football is not a charity. Smaller FCS schools will still make their money. But unless there will be less of them. Will this lead to a shutdown of smaller programs? Sadly, probably. But will it be better for college football as a whole we see more and more in-conference rivalries? Definitely.

I read a riveting tweet to Sports Illustrated’s Andy Staples which read: “What would be the most Twitter-melting CFB moments before Twitter was around?’

In other words, moments in college football history prior to March 2007, when Twitter exploded on the scene at South by Southwest (March 2007)

I added a few things, which included the B.S. call against Miami in the National Championship Game of 2003 (NCBS), any of the FSU-Miami ‘Wide Rights’ (#WDR) and ‘Wide Lefts’ (#WDL), the Convicts vs Catholics (#ConvictCath), and – of course – Vince Young (#VY) running the ball in against USC in the 2006 National Championship Game (#VYvsUSC). I also wanted ALL of Barry Sanders’ highlights from the 1988 season (#Barry) because he was the best running back whoever lived (sorry Herschel and Bo).

Of course, there were SEC calls (Auburn vs Georgia OTs) and #RunLindseyRun (Georgia vs Florida 1980), but it got me thinking.

What moments from the SEC would have made Twitter melt if it had existed back in the day? Sorry Texas A&M and Missouri fans, you don’t get in – although Missouri’s #FifthDown game would have melted Twitter.

We could go for Spurrier snark – and those remarks continue to live in history (#FreeShoesUniversity) – although my favorite that still stands was about Auburn and a fire that destroyed 20 books: “The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet,” so here we go.

1. Nate Northington steps on the field against Ole Miss

Nate Northington stepped on the field against Ole Miss as the first African-American to play in the SEC in 1967. That was one of the biggest landmarks in college sports, and would have melted Twitter. For good reasons. There are no clips of this happening, so we went with something a little salient.

2. Bear Bryant dies and days later, his funeral. Alabama fans mourns. College football mourns. Sports mourn. He was the greatest football coach (prior to Nick Saban and Bill Belichick’s reigns in latter years), and his hat and chainsmoking habit made him a king forever. Why it’s No.1? Because whether you are a Rockne, Hayes, Paterno or a Saban fan, it’s hard to imagine a coach that was more revered in college football. Fun fact: He tried to integrate African-American players at Kentucky and Texas A&M but was turned down. After pressure from Alabama’s governing bodies, he was not allowed to recruit African Americans. When he did, his first

3.  “Goodbye. In Your Face”

Bo Jackson’s run in the 1983 Iron Bowl. The line: “In your face” would have elicited more tweets and comebacks than Jen Bielema’s #Karma tweet did.

4. “Run Lindsey Run”

Larry Munson’s scream down the microphone in the 1980 would have been on repeat (#RunLindsayRun), as well as live videos later on of drunk Georgia fans burning down **** in St Simon’s. And then Larry Munson would have to issue an apology for ‘encouraging violence’ and the World Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party would be renamed “The Family Fun in Jacksonville” due to alcohol-related worries.

5. Billy Cannon

The Billy Cannon run-back against Ole Miss in 1959 in one of the biggest games in college football (#Cannon). Added in would be .gifs showing cannons, as well as shots of your usual horrified Ole Miss fan.

6. ARE YOU HERSCHEL WALKER?

HE RAN OVER TWO MEN….There would be memes of Larry Munson having a heart attack. Plus there would be numerous tweets of people saying #ImNotHerschelWalker. Georgia would make a ‘thing’ about it and sell loads of merchandise….and Walker would not see a thing.

7. Bluegrass Miracle

Kentucky beating LSU. Kentucky’s head coach Guy Morriss got the Gatorade bath before the final whistle. And then Marcus Randall hit Devery Henderson. There would be a lot of #TooSoon shots and people making (a lot) of fun of Kentucky fans.

8. The Loudest The Swamp Has Ever Been

Florida State walk into Florida as the No.1 team in the country facing off. A fight before the game (#GatorFight). A great account is that someone was celebrating so hard that they fell off the ‘Gators’ wall and fell on top of the writer. I can’t believe Sean McDonough was doing the call back in the day.

9. Bats**t crazy Arkansas Games

Twice in three seasons, Arkansas played in a SEVEN-OVERTIME game. There was one in 2001 , which would have sparked enough chatter, but then there was the equally-crazy 2003 game against Kentucky in 2003. There would be sly commentary from Twitter about finishing the game because church was starting soon, methinks.

10. The LSU ‘Earthquake Game’

The noise in Tiger Stadium when LSU beat Auburn was so loud that it made it onto the Richter Scale (#LSUEarthquake). It helped when the fans had been drinking Jack Daniel’s for 12 hours straight, too.

Stop if you’ve heard this before about recruiting: It’s an Alabama and Georgia world, and everyone else just lives in it.

Every time there was a tweet from the two schools’ Twitter during the National Signing Day flurry, there was another four or five-star recruit that wanted to play for Nick Saban or Kirby Smart.

Everywhere you looked, the Crimson Tide and the Bulldogs were in everyone’s thoughts, and it seemed a rarity when a player decided to go elsewhere.

Alabama pulled in five-star RB Trey Sanders, OT Evan Neal, and DE Antonio Alfano, while Georgia celebrated the signings of five stars OC Clay Webb, DE Jermaine Johnson, CB DJ Daniel, while DE Nolan Smith, LB Nakobe Dean, DT Travon Walker, and WR Dominik Blaylock also either signed letters of intent or enrolled early.

Georgia only signed 3 players below a four-star 24-7 ranking, while Alabama just one.

Alabama pulled in 26 commits, while Georgia had 23. Nick Saban’s number was higher due to the attrition of juniors going to the NFL.

THE SEC RULED RECRUITING

Behind them, Jimbo Fisher was doing great things in Texas, vaulting Texas A&M to 3rd overall headed up by five-stars OT Kenyan Green and DT DeMarvin Neal, while LSU was fourth. They added Baton Rouge local CB Derek Stingley, RB John Emery Jr, OC Kardell Thomas, and LB Marcel Brooks.

Whether this will lead to a deeper SEC West in 2019 with everybody beating everybody is anybody’s guess, but Georgia will probably dominate the East. 

Auburn was 11th, Florida 16th, Tennessee 17th, Mississippi State 19th, Arkansas 20th, South Carolina 22nd, and Ole Miss 23rd. Kentucky and Missouri were 32nd and 33rd respectively – although Missouri’s biggest recruit may have been the signings of the ‘silly season’ when former Clemson QB Kelly Bryant elected to play in Columbia. Vanderbilt was 51st.

Right, this time of the year is a sad one, because we say goodbye to our greatest SEC playmakers, wishing that they would have one more year in college to make us smile.

Some are seniors, but what the SEC Blog is focussing on is the juniors, who have decided to forgo their senior year, in an effort to make cash instead of being exploited for it (!).

We don’t expect Alabama to have any declarations because they’ve got two big play-off games coming up (potentially), but otherwise…

Alabama:

Arkansas:

Auburn: Jarrett Stidham (QB)

Florida: Chauncey Gardner-Johnson (DB)

Georgia:

Kentucky:

LSU: Greedy Williams (CB)

Mississippi State:

Missouri:

Ole Miss: AJ Brown (WR), DK Metcalf (WR)

South Carolina: Deebo Samuel (WR)

Tennessee:

Texas A&M:

Vanderbilt: 

Of all the rivalries in the SEC, the best name for a rivalry is the Georgia – Georgia Tech game: “Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate”. Nothing comes close.

However, there are some badass hatred flowing through the SEC.

Alabama and Auburn despise each other. Ole Miss and Mississippi State may be on a par with that….maybe worse. There’s no love lost between Clemson and South Carolina or Florida and Florida State. Tennessee – Vanderbilt always seems to pit the ‘Public School Hillbillies’ and the ‘Private School snobs’, and Louisville and Kentucky certainly aren’t fond of each other, even though the ‘Governor’s Cup’ makes it sound like a place where the fans drink sweet tea before the game, not ludicrous amounts of bourbon.

That’s where we feel a little sorry for Arkansas, LSU, Texas A&M and Missouri. There are no natural in-state rivals for these. Texas A&M vs Texas simply doesn’t exist anymore, and both sides can’t grow up enough to make this happen (ironically it could happen in the Cotton Bowl this year, but we’ll have to see about that!), so Texas A&M plays LSU, because LSU has no interesting in-state college football powers (and unless ULL, Tulane or Louisiana Tech grow rapidly, this won’t change for decades to come), and Missouri’s a new arrival, because Missouri and Kansas can’t grow up enough to continue playing the ‘Border War’ either. So Missouri plays Arkansas, because Arkansas and Arkansas State don’t want to schedule each other (it’s never happened!).

Anyway, there are also some cool rivalries happening outside the conference. There’s Ohio State vs Michigan, Notre Dame vs USC and, er, Virginia vs Virginia Tech (just kidding). There is a potentially awesome game from Morgantown (Oklahoma going to West Virginia) and a great fun game way out West (Washington vs Washington State). And there will be no love lost in the State of Arizona (Arizona vs Arizona State), Oregon (Oregon vs Oregon State (The ‘Civil War’), Utah (BYU vs Utah (The ‘Holy War’), Virginia (Virginia vs Virginia Tech), Another Florida game (USF vs UCF), Indiana (Purdue vs Indiana), North Carolina (NC State vs North Carolina), Private School North Carolina (Wake Forest vs Duke), OTHER Georgia (Georgia State vs Georgia Southern). Oh, and the game where an AXE is the winning trophy (Minnesota vs Wisconsin).

Cool, eh?

Anyway, after getting your lecture about games, it’s important we give you some tips. It’s Thanksgiving Weekend, so you’ll probably want to get your bets on beforehand.

So here are our SEC tips:

1. Iron: Auburn vs No.1 Alabama (-24): Alabama hasn’t been great the last couple of weeks – certainly not in the Citadel game, but it’s still 2-0. Auburn is simply weird. Crimson will trump weird in Tuscaloosa. Easily. PREDICTION: Alabama by 21.
2. Hate (Good Old Fashioned): Georgia Tech vs No.5 Georgia (-17): After starting the season badly (1-3), Georgia Tech has rebounded to win 6 out of the last 7. The triple-option is fun to watch, but if Georgia stop it, we don’t think they have the defense to deal with the Dawgs’ running attack. PREDICTION: Georgia by 20.
3. Hate (South Carolinian style with team fights): South Carolina vs No.2 Clemson (-27.5): South Carolina isn’t even in the same league as Clemson at the moment, so it would be shocking if this game’s close going into the third quarter. Clemson got a little bit of a wake-up call last week against Duke after sleepwalking through the first half before winning 45-6. We don’t think this’ll happen here in a hyped atmosphere. Albeit with Hunter Renfrow uncertain (he’s been listed as a starter, but we’re unsure if that’s going to be true). No fighting please, teams. PREDICTION: Clemson runs riot, winning by 30.
4. Egg: No.21 Mississippi State (-10.5) vs Ole Miss: Last week Ole Miss was jobbed out of taking the Vanderbilt to two overtimes by a terrible SEC refs call. Ole Miss has the firepower but not the defense. We’ll take defense in a fun, fun one. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 5 in a high-scoring game.
5. Oxygen mask (thanks, @Mizzodcast): No.13 Florida (-5) vs Florida State: Florida State has been awful to point of memes, while Florida has been inconsistent-to-good this year. We can’t see Florida State do anything apart from getting their quarterback killed. PREDICTION: Florida by 14.
6. Saluting Corndog: No.7 LSU at Texas A&M (-2): LSU lost its mega-test on the road this year (Florida), but it’s also been battle-tested. And if you want the definition of battle-tested, it’s Texas A&M, who played the SEC West schedule as well as Clemson and a ranked Kentucky team. Why A&M is a two-point favorite I’ll never know (it should be a pick ’em), but this one will come down to the wire. PREDICTION: LSU by 3.
7. Governor drinking a Bourbon Bottle: No.17 Kentucky at Louisville: Kentucky has been poor recently and Louisville has been more than poor all season long. There’s a reason nearly 2,000 tickets are going for as little as $32, because it’s not going to be pretty. Especially for the Cardinals, who fired Bobby Petrino mid-season because they have really, really sucked. PREDICTION: Kentucky by 25. The Wildcats may not have any offense, but then again, Louisville doesn’t have of both.
8. Orange and Gold Guitar: Tennessee vs Vanderbilt (-3.5): This game features the two worst teams in the SEC, and two of the worst four in the conference overall. It will not be pretty. We still like Ke’Shawn Vaughn from Vanderbilt, but we don’t know who UT will start behind centre with Jarrett Guarantano’s injury. PREDICTION: Vanderbilt to win pretty comfortably. By 10.
9. Musket: Arkansas vs Missouri (-22.5): Arkansas has gotten worse recently while Missouri have won three on the bounce including two meant-to-be-tough road trips at Florida and Tennessee. Missouri’s secondary actually played OK last Saturday, while Arkansas’ secondary seemed to want to play with Mississippi State cheerleaders (and have been suspended). Drew Lock should have even more fun. PREDICTION: Missouri by 30.

Meanwhile in other places:

1. THE GAME (Gotta be capital letters): No.4 Michigan (-4) vs No.10 Ohio State: Ohio State couldn’t stop the run against Maryland, and barely survived a monstrous upset. Michigan played badly against Indiana by survived by 11. It wasn’t pretty last week. Ohio State can get it going on offense, and Michigan has been renewed with Shea Patterson. With all the defense coming back last year, we knew Michigan would be pretty good this season. But not this good. PREDICTION: Michigan breaks the streak, winning by 10.
2. Apple: No.18 Washington vs No.8 Washington State (-2.5): We all want Mike Leach to get into the play-off. Washington has not been terribly interesting on its path to 8-3. PREDICTION: GO LEACH! Washington State by 7.
3. Musket: No.6 Oklahoma (-1.5) vs No.9 West Virginia: IF ANY OF YOU HAVE A ****ING CLUE WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE BIG 12 THIS YEAR PLEASE LET ME KNOW. APART FROM A TON OF POINTS AND ZERO DEFENSE. Prediction: West Virginia in 4 OTS. 
4. Oxygen Mask with Mickey Mouse Ears: No.11 UCF (-14) vs USF: By the end of this run, UCF will have more National Championships declared for it than Alabama with the Tuscaloosa News. PREDICTION: UCF by 17.
5. DESERT: Arizona State (-2) vs Arizona: If you’re a betting deviant, you’ll be tuning in late for this one. We still love Khalil Tate, but we also love Herm Edwards, who has gone from The Most Stupid Appointment In College Football to Bowl Game in one season. However, how will it go against Kevin Sumlin? PREDICTION: Arizona by 5. 
6. JOSEPH SMITH’S TABLETS: BYU vs No.19 Utah (-13.5): Did you know that the winner of this gets to take home the original Joseph Smith Tablets? Seriously. It’s true. I saw it on Bleacher Report once. PREDICTION: Utah by 21.
7. CLAY HELTON’S LAST GAME: No.3 Notre Dame (-10-5) vs USC: So bad are USC is that I don’t understand why the Irish are only 10-1/2 point favorites. The Trojans are terrible, and so is Clay Helton. PREDICTION: Notre Dame by 21.

Breaking News: Alabama did not impress us on Week 12. At half-time of the game against Citadel in Tuscaloosa, with the much-less-than-the-reported-101,000 inside Bryant-Denny Stadium still sleepy, the game was tied 10-10. The Tide couldn’t deal with the triple-option, and the offense was poor to say the least. In the second half, Alabama adjusted themselves, scoring 40 to Citadel’s 7, and everything seemed good.

I even posted on my Twitter that after Alabama’s putrid performance Clemson should be made No.1 if they comfortably beat Duke. And Clemson was awful in its first half against Duke before exploding for 45. Obviously, Clemson’s victory over an above-average Duke said counts for more than Alabama’s victory against a Citadel team, but the Play-Off Committee won’t care, bearing in mind that they haven’t decided that Washington State or UCF are worthy of a Play-Off fight.

That said, if we go on good performances from the Top 4 in the play-off this week, then we’d have to give it to Notre Dame, because they hammered Syracuse in a game that was meant to be close. Michigan was NOT impressive at home against Indiana.

On the other side of the coin, the Big-12 shot itself in the foot for a play-off place as Oklahoma didn’t play well against Kansas and West Virginia was beaten by Oklahoma State.

Anyway, we digress. The rankings for our SEC table pretty much is the same….. maybe.

1. Alabama: The Tide showed chinks in their armour against Citadel. Not a great performance by any stretch of the imagination, but this team’s still the best in the SEC.
2. Georgia: Rolled past UMass.
3. LSU: I saw Rice a few weeks ago in Houston and said back then that they were absolutely terrible. The game was over by 1 1/2 quarters in Tiger Stadium. We’ll move on now.
4. Missouri: As has been mentioned, the Tigers should be 9-2. The wasting of Tennessee in Neyland showed what they can do.
5. Mississippi State: Dropped 52 on Arkansas. It’s Arkansas, but then again, Mississippi State’s offense was doomed about a month ago, wasn’t it (Bama excluded!).
6. Texas A&M: A better than win than most people will give them credit for against UAB.
7. Florida: The Gators are on a good trajectory at the moment. If they are this inconsistent now, imagine what things might be like next season.
8. Auburn: Whipped Liberty quickly on the last game of the season in Jordan-Hare. A small game in Tuscaloosa will close out the season next week.
9. Kentucky: The Wildcats are creaking. It wasn’t comfortable against Middle Tennessee, but Josh Allen and the defensive guys got it done in the end (after conceding 23 points).
10. South Carolina: I can’t even remember who they beat soundly this week. Let me look it up…Oh yeah, Chattanooga.
11. Vanderbilt: The ‘Dores got lucky in their overtime win over Ole Miss with a disputed/B.S. call. But then again, #SECRefs.
12. Ole Miss: Got diddled out of a second OT by the SEC refs. The defense is as porous as ever.
13. Tennessee: WELCOME BACK to the Bottom 2 Tennesssee. The injury to Jarrett Guarantano didn’t help, but the offensive line? Dear Lord.
14. Arkansas: Razorbacks = Terrible.

IMPRESSED

1. Citadel: Played their behinds off against Alabama. Their triple-option worked in the first half. They were even leading. Alabama didn’t know how to cope. Even after their eventual loss, this team was getting all the plaudits. And good on ’em.
2. Missouri’s win at Tennessee: After their pretty-much-terrible performance against Vanderbilt and the Vols’ stunning win against Kentucky, we thought that Tigers were ripe for the upset at Neyland. Instead, they dropped 50 in Neyland, and looked really good.

NOT IMPRESSED

1. SEC Refs: I spoke to a journalist friend of mine and he told me that he’d never criticise the refs because ‘they do the best job they can do’. After jobbing Ole Miss out of the chance to go to a second overtime with a terrible call, again you’d argue this: Is this actually the best job they can do?
2. Alabama: Unmotivated in the first half against Citadel. When the biggest highlight of the game was Jalen Hurts coming out in the fourth quarter, you know that this is a cr*p performance

We didn’t want to admit it, but 85% (12 out of 14) of SEC teams are really, really ordinary. Some might be even worse than that.

SEC fans will tell you that the ‘ordinariness’ isn’t in fact that, it’s the fact that ‘anyone can beat anyone on ANY GIVEN SATURDAY IN THE SEC’, and that’s what makes the SEC so great, and other conferences so suck-worthy.

Of course, it’s the notion of ‘Every Given Saturday’ that makes college football so awesome, and not just the SEC.

But in fact, the SEC, B1G and ACC have something in common: They all boast a team that hasn’t won an in-conference game all season (Arkansas, Louisville, Rutgers).

And apart from Georgia and Alabama, everyone else in the SEC has two or more in-conference losses, meaning that no-one particularly stands out, meaning that my listings of ‘Power Rankings’ in the SEC against the notion of Who Was Impressive from week-to-week in the SEC gets hurt.

Despite all my whining, here’s my rankings for the SEC. We’re going in terms of less power, more ordinary.

1. Alabama: EXTRA-ORDINARY TEAM. ESPECIALLY THE REFS AGAINST MISSISSIPPI STATE. IN NICK SABAN’S FAVOUR.
2. Georgia: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY HAD THEIR OFFENSIVE MISCUES AGAINST GEORGIA IN THE FIRST HALF. Y’ALL’S GOT TO BE PERFECT IF Y’ALL ARE GOING TO BEAT ALABAMA, Y’ALL.
3. LSU: ORDINARY BECAUSE NICK BROSSETTE TOOK TWO KNEES INSIDE THE 5 AGAINST ARKANSAS AND LSU DIDN’T COVER THE SPREAD (Just kidding!).
4. Mississippi State: ORDINARY BECAUSE THE SEC REFS MADE THEM ORDINARY (And Nick Fitzgerald slid for the first down but didn’t make it because he slid too early).
5. Auburn: ORDINARY BECAUSE DEAR LORD HAVE YOU SEEN THAT OFFENSE?
6. Texas A&M: ORDINARY BECAUSE THERE’S NO BETTER FOUR-LOSS TEAM IN THE COUNTRY WHO CAN BEAT OLE MISS.
7. Kentucky: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY LOSE TO 4-5 TENNESSEE EASILY (AND HAVE NO OFFENSE) AS A RANKED TEAM, AND THE BIGGEST LAUGH OF THE WEEKEND CAME FROM WHAT HAPPENED AT LOUISVILLE.
8. Missouri: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YET SOMEHOW BARRY ODOM KEEPS SAVING HIS BUTT
9. Florida: ORDINARY BECAUSE THE FANS DON’T FILL THE SWAMP FOR THE SPURRIER-MUSCHAMP BOWL.
10. South Carolina: ORDINARY BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO RUN DEFENSE.
11. Tennessee: ORDINARY BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED AT THE END OF FULMER’S REIGN TO THE END OF THE BUTCH JONES’ REIGN. LIKE A LOT OF LADIES IN THE SMOKIES, IT HAD ONE TOOTH AND A METH PROBLEM.
12. Vanderbilt: ORDINARY BECAUSE SOMETIMES RICH KIDS DON’T GET GREAT THINGS.
13. Ole Miss: THAT DEFENSE AIN’T ORDINARY, IT’S DOGS—-.
14. Arkansas: SOON THE ORDINARY-TO-BAD SEASON WILL BE OVER, AND TUSKY WILL REALISE THAT HE PICKED A NICE TEAM TO RETIRE. UNTIL HE’S MADE INTO BRISKET.

But there were things that impressed us this week:

1. Meredith and Luke were first in line waiting for the SEC Network to come along to Fayetteville, which got them a nice coach on set. The bad news for Meredith and Luke is that after the SEC Saturday Network crew had left, they had to sit and watch LSU handle their team. Not that they aren’t used to their team being handled, mind.
2. Nick Brosette: The LSU RBs may have broken Vegas hearts by not running in for the score, but taking two knees at the end was the height of sportsmanship.
3. Mississippi State’s defense: Were exceptional in the second half against the Tide. Completely and utterly suffocated Bama’s offensive line.

But some things really, really got under our skin:

1. SEC refs in the Alabama – Mississippi State game: HOW WAS THAT NOT A FUMBLE? HOW WAS THAT A BLOCK IN THE BACK? Hell, even Gary Danielson, who’s got his head so far up Nick Saban’s behind that when Saban opens his mouth they see two pairs of teeth said repeatedly: “That’s a fumble”. The SEC has to deal with its referees. Right now, the conference is looking worse and worse.
2. South Carolina: How did the offense go from 31 points to zero in The Swamp. Could there have been a worse half-time team talk than Will Muschamp’s at half-time.
3. Auburn: The offense is still clueless. Especially the offensive line, which is plain awful.