LSU’s roasting of No.8 Miami, Auburn’s victory in a war against Washington, and Alabama’s brutal dismantling of Louisville (not to mention their coach’s brutal dismantling of an ESPN reporter) were all the most impressive things of Week 1. Tennessee was the only team in the SEC that lost – although that was helped by some ‘superb’ scheduling by ADs everywhere (yeah, the South Carolina vs Coastal Carolina game was always going to be a barnburner).

I’d like to note that for games 9-14 I was scrambling for reasons why I would be impressed. Hence why Tennessee’s so high. 

Anyway, which SEC team impressed the most on Week 1 of the CFB season?

1. LSU (1-0): The 33-17 dismantling of Miami was very impressive indeed. LSU fans saw their first competent QB in some years. The team has a RB in Nick Brossette who could reap the rewards of bench-sitting for 3 years. And the defense – which caused 2 turnovers and scored a TD – is pretty damned lively, too. Sure, it was helped by a Miami side who couldn’t stop getting penalties (11 of them for 85 yards), but this was a very good performance. Is Coach O off the hotseat now? No, but his Cajun butt just cooled a lot.
2. Auburn (1-0): The 21-16 Battle Royale at Atlanta broke Auburn’s ‘curse’ in the ATL, but this was a back-and-forth war that didn’t let up on the excitement from start to finish. Both sides got to the quarterbacks, but it was Auburn’s red-zone offense that came out victorious when it mattered. But for Tigers fans, this schedule barely lets up: The Tigers still have 4 monster game left in the next 11.
3. Ole Miss (1-o): They say that the most dangerous teams are those playing for nothing, and Ole Miss – thanks to its self-imposed bowl ban – is one of those teams. But if you’re a DC, good luck in trying to work out how to stop the best receiving corps in the nation that is as deep as it is good (DaMarkus Lodge, AJ Brown and DK Metcalf, Braylon Sanders). Jordan Ta’amu’s not a bad QB either. And although people might bitch and moan about Texas Tech’s defense, you gotta give this offense some credit. And the ‘D’ showed up, giving up just 10 second-half points.
4. Alabama (1-0): Alabama’s destruction of Louisville was what everyone expected. Alabama looks quicker than every team in college football. The receivers aren’t missing a beat since Calvin Ridley left. The defense is dominating and fast. Oh, and Tua’s one hell of a quarterback (see you later, Jalen!). As much as people might hate Nick Saban, he’s one hell of a coach. This team is formidable, folks.
5. Vanderbilt (1-0): This was always going to be a difficult game against MTSU with Vandy just 4.5 point favourites at gametime, but the Commodores came through to rout their opponents 35-7. Kyle Shurmur’s a good QB, but we’ll have to see how they stack up against the SEC opponents before taking Derek Mason off our hot seat just yet.
6. Arkansas (1-0): It was interesting to see how Arkansas might click after Bret Bielema’s firing, but they did just fine, beating Eastern Illinois 55-20 (they were up 38-6 at the half). On the evidence of Saturday, Ty Storey (who threw for 3 TDs) isn’t going to be a bad QB either.
7. Kentucky (1-0): After a poor first half, Benny Snell and the Wildcats came through to beat Central Michigan 35-20, with Benny Snell running for 125 yards and 2 TDs. But the killer for the Wildcats could have been turnovers- they committed four of them against a not-meant-to-be-great Central Michigan team. If they do that against Florida in The Swamp, Mark Stoops is going to continue that great Kentucky tradition of getting beaten by the Gators. So why are they this far up the list? Because at least UK played someone relatively OK.
8. Tennessee (0-1): The Volunteers shouldn’t be this high on the list by a lot of people’s standards, but I come with this: The game was 13-7 at half-time. Things unravelled after the long time-delay after that, but Tennessee at least showed some gumption.
9. South Carolina (1-0): Deebo Samuel’s highlight reel catch is the only reason why the Gamecocks are even this far up the list.
10. Texas A&M (1-0): I predicted A&M would beat Northwestern State by 52. I was right. I’m going to mention this a lot this year.
11. Florida (1-0): We haven’t really heard of Charleston Southern, but at least the Gators’ offense looked OK. You know, against Charleston Southern.
12. Georgia (1-0): Hammered Austin Peay and kept the shut-out. Yawn.
13. Missouri (1-0): Hammered UT-Martin, and Drew Lock looked good. Yawn.
14. Mississippi State (1-0): Great for a team missing its starting QB by tuning up against Stephen F. Austin. And boy, did they tune up Stephen F. Austin.
15. Nick Saban: Being straight-up rude to a reporter after your team has dismantled their opponent isn’t a good look. Bullies don’t like being questioned about things, and so when Maria Taylor asked him about the QB farce that he’d helped cause (and keep Jalen Hurts from transferring which in turn will probably ruin the rest of Hurts’ college career), he exploded.

Right, it’s our annual hot seat conversation, in which we rank which SEC coach is on the hot seat at the start of the year.

1. Ed Orgeron (LSU): ‘Coach O’ is beloved by his players, but his 15-6 record in Baton Rouge isn’t great, the Tigers have finished 2nd and then 3rd in the conference. If LSU fails to beat Alabama again (they haven’t beaten the Tide since 2011) there’s another major loss like they did to Troy, and seriously underperform with the talent that they have, then the tongues will be wagging. Having said that, if the Tigers fail to beat Miami on Monday night, then the knives could start getting pulled.
2. Barry Odom (Missouri): Missouri’s defense was so awful in the first half of the year that Odom needed to pull out a sermon in an effort to stand up for his team. And then good things happened. His SEC opponents fell to pieces, and Odom got his team to a bowl game. But if Missouri struggles this year, Odom might be out.
3. Derek Mason (Vanderbilt): There is no question Mason is likeable and a motivator. The problem Mason has is that he’s following on from an excellent coach in James Franklin, and he’s not getting the talent that his predecessor brought in. His 6-26 SEC record (and 18-31 overall record) hasn’t helped, either. Vanderbilt’s not exactly a prized job, but with the ESPN money, it’s certainly got cash.
4. Matt Luke (Ole Miss): We get that Luke was thrown into the fire after the different actions of Hugh Freeze, but if Ole Miss has a bad year, then he’ll be looking over his shoulder for a replacement. You know, because someone might actually want the job in 2019. 
5. Will Muschamp (South Carolina): Expectancy is high this year for Carolina to ‘do something’ in the SEC East. If they were to falter (ie lose to ‘lower grade’ SEC opponents like Missouri, Tennessee, Kentucky or – shock horror – Vanderbilt), then the hatred that Muschamp faced at Florida will resurface. You know, because SEC.
6. Mark Stoops (Kentucky): Kentucky football fans are beginning to expect more and Stoops is underdelivering most of the time….including a horror-show loss to Florida. Anyway, Stoops talks a good game, but if he doesn’t deliver, then again, he could be seeing his ass get slightly warmer.
7. Gus Malzahn (Auburn): Yes, he signed a seven-year contract, but Auburn fans are crazy and they thirst for the success that their cross-state neighbors have. If Auburn falters (despite losing a lot of talent) and gets swept by Alabama, Georgia, LSU, Washington and even Mississippi State, then the seat WILL get hotter.
8. Jeremy Pruitt (Tennessee): Tennessee fans are crazy in the fact that every time someone comes after Philip Fulmer (who they ran out of town), they expect a return to the days of Peyton Manning and National Championships. So if Pruitt looks clueless (regardless of whether it’s his first job in charge), there will be questions asked. A lot of them.
9. Dan Mullen (Florida): For a very long time, Florida has had a lot of talent but hasn’t had the level of coaching since Urban Meyer left. Unfortunately, Florida has also been a crapshow in terms of player discipline. If Mullen loses AND his players can’t keep out of jail (campus or otherwise), then he’s got a problem.
10. Chad Morris (Arkansas): Er, because Arkansas fans are fed up of losing to Texas A&M and Alabama, and crappy non-conference teams. Bret Bielema managed to do all three. And if Morris doesn’t do better, then…
11. Jimbo Fisher (Texas A&M): Money ain’t nuthin’ if you aren’t winnin’ that SEC West, boss.
12. Nick Saban (Alabama): IF Y’ALL DON’T WIN A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP AND YOU LOSE TO THOSE PEOPLE AT AUBURN AGAIN, YOU’RE A CRAPPY COACH. GET OUT!  – Unreasonable Alabama fan with short memory.
13. Kirby Smart (Georgia): BECAUSE WE HIRED YOU TO WIN A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, MAN! IF YOU DON’T DO THAT WE’RE GOING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR SEASON TICKET TO THE CHEETAH! – Unreasonable Georgia megabooster.
14. Joe Moorhead (Mississippi State): Despite people saying that Mississippi State is one of the most dangerous teams in the SEC, we don’t believe that Cowbell Nation has that level of expectation. There’s also added bonus points for the fact that he suspended QB Nick Fitzgerald for violating team rules. It’s not every day that a first-year coach suspends his star quarterback.

It’s the fun bit of our job when we get to predict the Week 1 games of the college football season for SEC teams. We think we know everything after Week 1, only to see that our ‘knowledge’ is blown away by Thanksgiving that we feel miserable and inclined to douse ourselves in whiskey while we wait around for bowl season.

Anyway, here are your predictions for Week 1 of the SEC season. As usual, we’re going in the order of games we’re interested in. Sorry Texas A&M vs Northwestern State, you’re not very high.

The first five games on this list are being played on neutral fields. Which means that if you’re a season ticket holder of a SEC team, you’re being screwed out of seeing a big-time match-up at your own stadium.

1. Auburn (-2.5) vs Washington (Atlanta): Auburn’s got the pick of the QBs in Jarrett Stidham, but they are still missing a hell of a lot of talent at RB, and that should be interesting against a Washington team who should be hella strong defensively. Then again, we don’t see Washington going anywhere fast against Auburn’s defensive front, either. This will be a low-scorer. PREDICTION: Auburn by 7 in an absolute war.
2. LSU vs Miami (-2.5) (Dallas): We’ve talked repeatedly say how much we hate JerryWorld as a venue (or any other neutral site venues) for regular season college football games, and things haven’t changed. Having said that, Jerry Jones’ money have put up some great match-ups. We only wish they were home-and-homes. The crowd at the LSU vs Miami game will probably be 70:30 in favour of the Tigers, bearing in mind geography and Miami’s poor fanbase, but what will that mean? Eyes will be on LSU’s starter (will it be Myles Brennan or Joe Burrow), as well as how the Tigers compensate for being ripped apart by the NFL, while Miami will try and find a way without Braxon Berrios, their best WR. This should be fun. PREDICTION: Miami by 3 in a classic.
3. Tennessee vs West Virginia (-9.5) (Charlotte): As we said in the LSU vs Miami game, we’re expecting Vols fans to dominate the crowd against the Mountaineers, but that’s all we expect them to dominate. Tennessee will still be discovering themselves under Jeremy Pruitt, while WVU brings back a hell of a lot of talent – including QB and possible Heisman candidate Will Grier. PREDICTION: West Virginia by 17 in a game not even as close as that.
4. Texas Tech (-2) vs Ole Miss (Houston): We love Ole Miss WR AJ Brown, and he and QB Jordan Ta’amu will be clicking nicely. In other words, they will be difficult to stop. Then again, Texas Tech is vastly improved on defense…although Texas Tech insiders don’t exactly love the team’s offensive game at the moment. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 10. 
5. Alabama (-25.5) vs Louisville (Orlando): We think that Louisville’s athletic department is a Heisman Trophy candidate in the battle for the Worst Calender Year Award For A NCAA School, bearing in mind that they’ve had to fire their Hall of Fame basketball coach and their biggest booster has racially slurred his way out of his own business. This ain’t a good look. We only find is strange that Bobby Petrino’s kept himself out of trouble. While in Tuscaloosa, Nick Saban’s spitting bullets about the depth of his team – and there’s a QB fight between two good quarterbacks – but the Crimson Tide will be fine. PREDICTION: Saban goes 1-0, predictably. Alabama by 28
6. Central Michigan vs Kentucky (-17): Benny Snell’s expected to run for well over 100 in this one – and that’s probably a good thing bearing in mind the ballhawks in Central Michigan’s secondary. Expect a brawl for four quarters in the best of all of the games getting played by SEC teams on their home fields. PREDICTION: Schnell, Snell! Kentucky by 14.
7. MTSU vs Vanderbilt (-4.5): A potentially tricky battle for Derek Mason this one. Kyle Shurmur’s an assured QB, but the ‘Dores are missing their best RB, and MTSU will have an improved passing game. PREDICTION: Vanderbilt by 10 that’s closer than the scoreline suggests.
8. Coastal Carolina (-29) vs South Carolina: Hell, it’ll be nice to see Deebo Samuel back. PREDICTION: South Carolina by 41.
9. UT Martin vs Missouri: The eyes will be QB Drew Lock, WR Emmanuel Hall, and Missouri’s new OC, Derek Dooley. I’d also like to see how the Tigers’ ‘D’ is. If they don’t show up against UT Martin, the Tigers have problems. PREDICTION: LOCK AND LOAD!! Missouri by 45.
10. Eastern Illinois vs Arkansas: Chad Morris’ first game will see a new offense, which should be fun against a EIU team that’s not expected to prove problematic. PREDICTION: Arkansas by 38. 
11. Northwestern State vs Texas A&M: Jimbo Fisher’s first game in Aggieland is only remotely interesting because it’s Jimbo Fisher’s first game in Aggieland. The game itself will be over by mid-way through the second quarter. PREDICTION: Texas A&M by 52.
12. SF Austin vs Mississippi State: Joe Moorhead’s first game will also mark the return of Nick Fitzgerald, who was injured during the Egg Bowl loss against Ole Miss last year. It’ll be interesting to see how that offense blends. You know, until half-tiime when MSU will be 28 points up and we can switch over. PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 42.
13. Austin Peay vs Georgia: Some Dawgs fan will say before the game that Austin Peay is potentailly a tough opponent, because he’s trying not to say: “We’ll kick the living **** out of them”. And because UGA fans can’t manage their emotions, this victory will be seen as a sure sign that they are winning the SEC and National titles, and that they should celebrate accordingly. PREDICTION: Georgia by 50.
14. Charleston Southern vs Florida: Dan Mullen’s the new HC in FLA. Again, we’ll see who gets the starting job, and whether the Gators’ offense can actually click. You might have heard it had problems doing that last seeason. PREDICTION: Florida by 45.

So much for the #winning. Bret Bielema is now out after never finishing higher than 3rd in the SEC West, and finishing 7th in three out of seven years in his reign. Oh, and he went 11-29, which probably didn’t help him.

Anyway, Chad Morris has been ‘prized’ away from SMU, and he’s an exciting prospect for an offensethat depended on a heavy line but really went nowhere (94th in the country) and a defense that went nowhere too (102nd last year).

So what do we think will happen in 2018?

OFFENSE

Giant QB Cole Kelley (he’s 6-7) is loved by just about everybody, and we really like him, too. He threw for 1,038 yards and 8 TDs, and if Morris uses him better than Bielema did, he could be one of those Nick Fitzgerald types that could rock defenses in close yardage situations.

What’s exciting for the Razorbacks is that they bring back a lot of receiving talent with WRs Jonathan Nance (539 yards, 5 TDs), Deon Stewart (404 yards, 3 TDs), Jordan Jones (401 yards, 3 TDs) and TEs Cheyenne O’Grady (132 yards, 2 TDs) and Jeremy Patton (189 yards). There is also talent in reserve too, which means that things should be really damned interesting.

Rushing-wise, David Williams, who formed a 1,000-yard partnership with Javwah Whaley went to the NFL. Whaley is still around, and he will be the lead RB after a 559 yard, 7 TD season. Backing him up will be Chase Hayden, and both will be running behind a line which has two great players (Frank Ragnow and Hjalte Froholdt) but otherwise wasn’t that great. That’ll be the key to whether the ‘Backs can improve in a stacked West.

DEFENSE

Top tacklers D’John Harris and Dre Greenlaw are back, bringing with them 218 tackles combined from last year and 4.5 sacks, but this is a team that ranked 104th in the country in sacks and 115th out of 130 in points per game with 36.2. It wasn’t pretty.

New DC John Chavis, who’s been doing the rounds more than a drunk, morally ambiguous frat boy, is in another SEC job, and Razorbacks fans hoping that this time he’ll stick (then again, so does he!). McTelvin Agim and Randy Ramsey should be fun to watch, too.

In the secondary, Ryan Pulley will be the leader alongside safety Santos Ramirez, but will it improve from a team who seemed to let anyone through all the time?

Personally-speaking, we think Arkansas fans will think they are in a Pac-12 game with the amount of shoot-outs on the horizon.

PREDICTION

Sept. 1 Eastern Illinois
Sept. 8 at Colorado State
Sept. 15 North Texas
Sept. 22 at Auburn
Sept. 29 vs. Texas A&M (in Arlington)
Oct. 6 Alabama
Oct. 13 Ole Miss
Oct. 20 Tulsa
Oct. 27 Vanderbilt
Nov. 3 OPEN DATE
Nov. 10 LSU
Nov. 17 at Mississippi State
Nov. 24 at Missouri

The Hogs will go 3-0 in their first 3 games before losing at Auburn and the annual shoot-out against Texas A&M. Things won’t go well against Alabama, but Chad Morris’ team will win a high-scoring affair against Ole Miss, which could be the first to 70. They’ll beat Tulsa and Vanderbilt (both at home) before losing tight ones to LSU, Mississippi State and Missouri, although Missouri is more 50/50 than the other two in game-winning potential.

2018 PREDICTION

6-6. The Hogs will be back in a bowl, and the fanbase will be a little excited. The defense will need some work, though.