The Story of Courtney and Jenna-Sue

This the story of Courtney and Jenna-Sue,

Who saw Auburn win and didn’t know what to do

Jumping around look like a hassle

So they leapt over a hedge and didn’t look like an a**hole.

But like any good photography, there’s an awesome story. And it’s not just Nick Saban and getting tricked by Gus Malzahn, either…

COURTNEY

Courtney walked into Phi Mu as a girl from the A-T-L (or at least that’s what she told everybody), but really, she’s actually from Marietta. She’s gone to Auburn because it’s more a fun time that it would be at Georgia. She’s might not look like it, but she’s the party animal-brain bucket that everyone craves, and so she’s actually pretty bright. We’re not talking Stanford bright, but we’re talking bright enough to hold a scholarship at Auburn, which she’s done despite giving her liver the toxic treatment. Today was Auburn’s last home game of the season, and it was the last hurrah. After this is a future in marketing (via rehab, as people at the house tell her) beckons, so she donned the skirt and the tiger jacket on Friday morning and hasn’t gone to bed yet. No, she hasn’t found a War Eagle Husband, but that KA dude Brad isn’t looking bad. He’s the only one in that frat not into buttchugging, anyway.

Because the game’s been fun and she’s been cheering a lot, she’s managed to half-chat to Jenna about life and whether little Crick’s going to propose (“I wish he’d just hurry up and do it, she says to herself under her breath”), but she’s actually really focussed on the game, which is unusual because she could probably blow a .358 right like that girl from Iowa.

HOLY SHIT! They missed that kick? Again? WOW! And then Bama gets penalised? The game’s over! Holy shit! We’ve won!

I’ve got to jump. It would be such a rad thing to do! Everyone back home would be so jealous! Hey, maybe I get Jenna to follow me and she gets into the bush like that woman did ahead of me. Wow. It’ll be so great. I’ll get on the field. And then we’ll party. Where’s the party going to be? Who cares?

LET’S GOOOOOO……….

Jenna-Sue

Jenna (Her real name is Jennifer-Susan, but she goes by Jenna-Sue) is from Mountain Brook, Alabama, and although she’s not going to let everyone know that, she’s wearing. She didn’t go to Phi Mu, Phi Mu went to her, because she’s a legacy. And she knows people. She’s had fun in her four years in college, but she hasn’t arrested. Daddy’s going to give her a job at the company in the future, but really she’s looking for ‘Crick’ (His real name’s Blake, but he got given that name because he told a joke four years ago and there were crickets, so everyone called him ‘crick’ lol lol lol)  to propose to her. She’s been telling Courtney about this, and Courtney’s been half-listening.

OMG! The kick! It hit the upright! Wow! OMG! Nick Saban got out-thought by Gus! How? Who cares? Auburn wins!

OMG! Courtney’s jumping! I’ll have to jump! Will I make the TV? Will this ruin the $500 boots? What will Daddy think?

Will Crick jump on the field and propose to me?

 

COOPER

Cooper’s tentative about going over. All game long he’s been trying to impress the hot blondies in front of him with his knowledge of Auburn football (they don’t care). Didn’t they know that Bo Nix’s dad was QB of Auburn? Didn’t they know that the team should have used Anthony Schwartz more. They didn’t like the fact that whenever Alabama lined up, all he did was say: “Oh crap”, like the world was going to end. Were they ignoring him?

Well, the two are leaping away and he’s still undecided. Like his life. But he really likes Auburn.

AND THEN THERE’S SERENA

This is Serena. She’s staring at the woman already stuck in the bush, and thinking: “There’s no ****ing way I’m getting over that”. Courtney and Jenna-Sue are already leaping for their lives, and she’s got eyes the size of a Toomer’s tree. She’s scared. Scared of what? Embarrassment?

OR ENDING UP LIKE THE WOMAN IN THE BUSH?

She makes it. There’s a celebration.  She’s not the butt of everyone’s joke unlike…

This lady. And she’s still lost.