On the back of LSU fansite ‘And The Valley Shook’ ‘s excellent article with Mike The Tiger’s keepers, we decided to go for a 1-14 of the SEC mascots you’d LEAST like to come face-to-face with.
1) Mike The Tiger (LSU)
Mike may have a friendly, family name, but in reality, Mike is a grumpy, 400-pound bengal tiger. No, don’t pet him. No, don’t try and be his best friend. BECAUSE HE WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES. And if you’re wearing Georgia red or Alabama crimson, then it looks like blood – so you’re going to be lunch first. That’s our bet, anyway.
2) Tusk (Arkansas)
Here is the description for Wikipedia. “Russian boars are extremely strong and surprisingly quick and fast for their size. Tusk II repeatedly jumped over a four foot gate, at a weight of almost 500 pounds.”
By the way, Tusk at Arkansas is actually a Russian boar, not a wild razorback hog. Still, he’s quick, strong, and will bulldoze you. And provide lunch to Mike The Tiger.
3) =UGA (Georgia)
One of the grumpiest animals of the dog world is the bulldog. UGA has, through the years, been known to bite opponents. Especially Auburn players.
4) Spirit, The War Eagle (Auburn)
Nova made me laugh hysterically a few years ago when it flew straight into a luxury box at Jordan-Hare. Don’t get me wrong, the War Eagle entrance is one of the coolest things in college sports, and we think he takes Smokey or Reveille. But we don’t think it takes UGA, Tusk and Mike The Tiger.
5) Bully (Mississippi State)
Yes, we know that UGA’s a Bulldog, too. But UGA seems more ferocious than Bully, who’s very excited until about half the way through a season. And then cowers as his team falls apart, led by their once-feared owner, Dan Mullen. Harsh?
6) Smokey The Dog (Tennessee)
Er, I’m sure Smokey the Tennessee Volunteers’ mascot has learned to drink well. It certainly hasn’t learned to cheer a lot – the Volts haven’t had a winning season in 3 years.
7) Reveille (Texas A&M)
No disrespect to Lassie, but I’m taking all three over Texas A&M’s very pretty mascot. Reveille should also bark out orders to get Texas A&M some female cheerleaders.
8) Sir Big Spur (South Carolina)
There is no question that a Gamecock would beat the crap out of other Gamecocks, and probably get some good pecks in a fight with most of these other mascots. But as a non-flying bird, it loses and becomes dinner.
Tagged with: Alabama • Arkansas • Auburn • Dan Mullen • Florida • Georgia • Kentucky • LSU • mascots • Mike • Mississippi State • Missouri • Ole Miss • scary • SEC • South Carolina • Tennessee • Texas A&M • Vanderbilt
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