This Monday is the College Football finale between two teams that EVERYBODY thought would get there: Alabama and Clemson.

It’s no secret that both teams are amazing. Both teams are stacked with first round draft picks. Both teams have five-star quarterbacks who been revelations. Both teams have insanely good wide receivers and running backs. And their defenses? Whoa.

The only bad thing about the National Championship is that it’s going to be played in Santa Clara, California. My brother – who lives there – said to me: “Why in the hell are they having a massive college football game during rush-hour on a weekday? The place is hard to get to and isn’t a great stadium experience? The 49ers can’t even fill the place.”

But onto the game itself….Even if it’s played in front of a few thousand people. 

Thinking about the game in the shower today, all I could think about it the reasons why both teams will win. Alabama will win if their offensive line can stop Christian Wilkins and his gang from getting to Tua – something they weren’t amazing at against Georgia and only a little better for three quarters against Oklahoma (although they smashed it in the first quarter!). Give Tua the time, and Tua will rip apart a Clemson secondary that gave up 510 yards (FIVE HUNDRED AND TEN) passing to South Carolina, who then was shut out by mighty Virginia. True, they were excellent against Notre Dame….but Notre Dame’s passing offense was 37th during the season. Ian Book was a manageable QB, but he’s no Tua – and the weapons he has with Isaiah Buggs III and the freakshow known as Jerry Jeudy.

On the other side, Alabama’s passing defense has just given up  300 yards to Georgia, and 308 to Kyler Murray and the Oklahoma Sooners. If Trevor Lawrence – who’s a great quarterback in himself despite looking like a giraffe throwing a javelin – can get the ball out quickly and to his wide receivers Tee Higgins and Hunter Renfrow without getting murdered by Quinnen Williams, Alabama might have problems. We don’t think Travis Etienne’s going to have a big game on the ground because running through that Alabama defensive corps will be murder for him.

But let’s be honest. Both sides are incredibly equal to each other. Both sides give up around 530 yards a game. Both sides have scored around 45 points per game – helped by the amount of crappy teams on their schedule and their up-tempo offenses. Clemson is better against the rush (predictably), helped by the sort of wall that Donald Trump’s pleading to be put up against Mexico. And coaching-wise, both Nick Saban and Dabo Swinney are doing incredible jobs.

This is going to the wire.

PREDICTION: Alabama 30, Clemson 27.

If you believe in such thing as social media noise, then Twitter shouted the loudest.

And in particular, the insufferable yelling came from the SEC – and most particularly Georgia and Alabama fans.

RANT NO.1: WHY WASN’T GEORGIA IN THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP PLAY-OFF AHEAD OF NOTRE DAME?

Georgia fans were screaming their nuts off about the fact that Notre Dame’s blow-out by Clemson meant that they should have been in the blow-out instead of the Irish.

“They don’t even have their own conference” said some. “How could the Committee talk about the best four teams? Sure Georgia, in their loss to Alabama, showed that they are one of the best teams in the country?”, groused another. “Notre Dame didn’t play anyone this year”, grumbled some more. And when we say “another” and “some more”, we meant Georgia fans in their hundreds – and that – of course – including, Georgia players, Georgia legend and ESPN analyst David Pollock, as well as SEC Network anchor Peter Burns.

And if you wrote something positive about Notre Dame or Oklahoma getting in the play-off, the rage coming out of people’s mouths – particularly from ‘SEC fans’ – was enough to make Donald Trump’s haters blush.

Georgia’s basic premise was this: The Bulldogs took Alabama really close, and therefore we were one of the best teams in the country.

Never mind the fact that they got the doors blown off them at LSU. Never mind the fact that they blew a big lead to Alabama in the SEC Championship Game. Never mind that Notre Dame finished with nine wins over bowl-eligible teams. Never mind that Oklahoma won its conference and avenged the loss against the team that it was beaten by earlier in the season (Wait: Did Georgia do the same last year??). Logic got a combative growl from doggies everywhere.

Of course, if the Committee and ESPN had sorted out an 8-team playoff, we never would have had the arguments in the first place, but that’s simple semantics.

BTW, one of the better lines from Twitter was: “If the Georgia players had expended as much energy on beating LSU as they did on Twitter tonight, maybe they would have won”. 

RANT NO.2: TUA SHOULD HAVE GOT THE HEISMAN

Anyone who’s anyone knows that Alabama fans are basically bad losers. If they win, they think they should have won better, and if they lose, it’s the end of the world. When Alabama beat Oklahoma comfortably in the second play-off game, Alabama fans turned their rage to the fact that Kyler Murray had beaten out Baby Tua to the Heisman Trophy.

Don’t get us wrong: They were more pissed off and jealous than Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction before the play-off game. But now that Alabama had beaten Oklahoma, they were even more pissed off.

The problem with the rage is that logic – again – seemed to have defeated them.

Here are both of their arguments….

• ‘Kyler Murray didn’t play any good defenses this year because the Big XII sucked” – That one was true. Then again, the one big-time defense that Tua played this year (Georgia), beat him so badly he had to be replaced by Jalen Hurts. Kyler Murray had an exceptional season. Even if the Big XII had terrible numbers, Murray was making plays with his legs and his arms. 
• ‘When will Kyler ever play a good defense? Tua faced one in practice every day of the week’ – Actually, Kyler Murray did face a good defense this year, and he proved he was a Heisman quarterback. After a poor start when his offensive line was obliterated, Murray threw for 308 yards and 2 TDs and ran for 109 yards and 1 TD on 17 carries on this defense. That defense was Alabama’s. And Murray didn’t do that because Alabama. After a poor first quarter, Murray stepped it up a notch, and the game finished with Bama winning by 11.

But again – where Alabama fans are concerned – logic took a beating.

I love the bowl time of year. I get to ignore politics for a few hours and sit and balance a beer on my belly and watch college football.

This is a beautiful time to be a SEC fan. We get to generally see a National Champion, and we get to celebrate by haunting others with our war cry: “SEC! SEC! SEC!”.

I was going to go for a long, weaving preview of every bowl, but I realised that this (might) suffice.

So here we go – Why EVERY SEC will win its bowl game.

1. Why Vanderbilt (-4)will beat Baylor: Vanderbilt can stop someone, Baylor can’t. Vanderbilt’s got one of the most underrated running backs in college football in Ke’Shawn Vaughn, who ran for over 1,000 yards in the regular season. Vandy QB Kyle Shurmur’s better than what Baylor will offer, too.
2. Why Auburn (-3.5) will beat Purdue: Because Jarrett Stidham NEEDS a good bowl game to lift his NFL Draft status, and Gus Malzahn needs a good bowl game to get some ju-ju off his back. And also, Purdue really isn’t that good.
3.  Why Florida will beat Michigan (-6): Florida will bring back all of its talent from 2018 for this one, while Michigan is going to have some heavy losses. Michigan winning by almost a touchdown? Are you kidding me? Chomp, Chomp, Harbaugh.
4. Why South Carolina (-5.5) will beat Virginia: Virginia isn’t very good. Despite Deebo Samuel electing to forgo this game so that he can concentrate on the draft, South Carolina will be just fine without him. Jake Bentley will pick apart Virgnia’s secondary with his bevvy of tight ends (Kiel Pollard, Jacob August, Kyle Markway and KC Crosby).
5. Why Missouri (-9) will beat Oklahoma State: Missouri’s en fuego after getting Kelly Bryant to sign for next year, and Drew Lock’s coming back for his swansong. Oklahoma State’s going to miss its best RB (Justice Hill) because he’s declared early. This will be fun, but Missouri will win. Double digits. Mark it down.
6. Why Texas A&M (-7) will beat NC State: Because Texas A&M’s a good team, and NC State’s ‘D’ is porous at best. Kellen Mond will have a field day.
7. Why Mississippi State (-7) will beat Iowa: Iowa’s offensive line won’t be able to stop Mississippi State. 96-tackle anchor Jeffrey Simmons has said he is GOING to play before he leaves for a bright future in the NFL. Good luck, Hawkeyes.
8. Why LSU (-7.5) will beat UCF: Because UCF’s QB Mackenzie Milton isn’t playing. LSU will grind UCF into the ground using their bevvy of running backs. This will get ugly.
9. Why Kentucky will beat Penn State (6.5): Because even if Penn State stops Benny Snell, Josh Allen’s going to kill Trace McSorley on the other side of the ball.
10. Why Georgia (-13) will beat Texas: Texas hasn’t got a great defense, and Georgia will run straight through them. It might be exciting early with Texas’ big wide receivers, but Sam Ehrlinger’s moxiness will get crushed by UGA’s defense.
11. Why Alabama (-14) will beat Oklahoma: Because Oklahoma couldn’t stop a damned thing all season, and it ain’t about to start now.

Stop if you’ve heard this before about recruiting: It’s an Alabama and Georgia world, and everyone else just lives in it.

Every time there was a tweet from the two schools’ Twitter during the National Signing Day flurry, there was another four or five-star recruit that wanted to play for Nick Saban or Kirby Smart.

Everywhere you looked, the Crimson Tide and the Bulldogs were in everyone’s thoughts, and it seemed a rarity when a player decided to go elsewhere.

Alabama pulled in five-star RB Trey Sanders, OT Evan Neal, and DE Antonio Alfano, while Georgia celebrated the signings of five stars OC Clay Webb, DE Jermaine Johnson, CB DJ Daniel, while DE Nolan Smith, LB Nakobe Dean, DT Travon Walker, and WR Dominik Blaylock also either signed letters of intent or enrolled early.

Georgia only signed 3 players below a four-star 24-7 ranking, while Alabama just one.

Alabama pulled in 26 commits, while Georgia had 23. Nick Saban’s number was higher due to the attrition of juniors going to the NFL.

THE SEC RULED RECRUITING

Behind them, Jimbo Fisher was doing great things in Texas, vaulting Texas A&M to 3rd overall headed up by five-stars OT Kenyan Green and DT DeMarvin Neal, while LSU was fourth. They added Baton Rouge local CB Derek Stingley, RB John Emery Jr, OC Kardell Thomas, and LB Marcel Brooks.

Whether this will lead to a deeper SEC West in 2019 with everybody beating everybody is anybody’s guess, but Georgia will probably dominate the East. 

Auburn was 11th, Florida 16th, Tennessee 17th, Mississippi State 19th, Arkansas 20th, South Carolina 22nd, and Ole Miss 23rd. Kentucky and Missouri were 32nd and 33rd respectively – although Missouri’s biggest recruit may have been the signings of the ‘silly season’ when former Clemson QB Kelly Bryant elected to play in Columbia. Vanderbilt was 51st.

Football loves winners. Sure, there are the celebrated losers (Charlie Weis in his time in Kansas), but we care more about the trophies, the Heismans, and the winners.

After all, schools build their cathedrals because they like winning and let rich people know that they like winning, and will do anything for that. The rich people then put in their money for winning, and coaches are hired. Hopefully, the coaches win, and statues are created in their image, and the congregations bow down.

Urban Meyer was a skilled high priest. He won three of them.

The first two were at Florida, a program that was still recovering a little from Steve Spurrier’s departure. He took home two National Championships, three SEC Championships, and more important for Gators fans, beat Georgia 5 out of 6 times.

After he returned after a year of stress relief, he went to Ohio State. Ohio State doesn’t lose much and doesn’t like losing much, and in Columbus he didn’t do that, winning another National Championship (1) and beating Michigan (7-0).

His brilliant recruiting at Ohio State and Florida made sure that his guys earned some money in the pros, too. Maurkice Pouncey and Mike Pouncey are still stalwarts on the offensive lines. Joe Haden is still playing. Percy Harvin had 8,000 receiving and kick returning yards before retiring. Brandon Spikes had a mixed career, but still ended up with 349 tackles. And although you wanted to punch him for his outrageous remarks in 2013, Riley Cooper was a great target (2,400 yards, 18 TDs). And Ohio State, Meyer saw – amongst others – draftings for Joey Bosa, Ryan Shazier, Michael Thomas, Marshon Lattimore and one Ezekiel Elliott. Even 2018 first rounder Denzel Ward has shone, grabbing 3 INTs and 48 tackles. And even though Aaron Hernandez could be defined as an awful human being, he was a  stud tight end for the New England Patriots.

The Flaws

The mistakes I make,

That’s the real me

Nas

But while the football was going well, the man management went to hell.

During his reign in Gainseville, forty-one players were arrested. That’s half a football team. Of these, one was Cam Newton (laptop stealing), and the other was Hernandez (felony battery). We all know what happened to both of them. Newton was kicked off the side, and Meyer kept Hernandez on after appeals from St. Tim Tebow. As it goes, even Tebow couldn’t save Hernandez in the same way as Gus Malzahn did for Cam Newton.

At Ohio State, 8 Ohio State players were handcuffed under Meyer’s supervision, and then there was the bit this summer where Meyer lied about knowing about domsetic abuse allegations made against his wide receivers coach, Zach Smith. Because of football’s eagerness not to keep its bosses on the sidelines, Meyer was only given a three-game suspension.

And yet through all of this, it’s difficult not to feel sorry for Urban Meyer. We should be grateful that it was just stress that gave Meyer chest pains during his Florida reign, and thank God that Meyer didn’t have an aneurysm on the field. You know, because sometimes the Devil deserves some sympathy.

The mathematics of a monster contract like Gus Malzahn’s might not show it, but the Auburn head coach’s job status is fragile. The offense is sputtering (76th in the country), and because of that, the defense – although it’s one of the best in the country – can’t get a break.

This week the offense wil hope to rebound against an Ole Miss team that hasn’t really heard of defense. But the Tigers are on the road in Oxford, and everybody’s scenting blood.

Elsewhere, the Ed Orgeron train will keep on truckin’ against Mississippi State in the only ranked match-up in the SEC this week, while embattled Missouri coach Barry Odom will try and pick up his team against high-scoring but D-lite Memphis. Vanderbilt and Kentucky also get together, and Arkansas plays Tulsa. Oh, and go and do some gardening at 3.30pm so you’ll avoid Tennessee’s home shellacking by Alabama. It will be ugly.

Anyway, onto Week 8. As usual, we’re ranking these games by how interested we are in them….

1. Auburn (-3.5) at Ole Miss: Auburn is a train-wreck at the moment. Nothing is going right for Gus Malzahn’s team, and the blue and orange rumour mill – already fearing what might happen when the Tigers have to Georgia and Alabama – are sharpening knives. After all $32m is nothing in SEC terms, is it? The Tigers ‘roll’ into Ole Miss to face one of the worst defenses in the SEC, but can anyone trust the Tigers to get the ship righted? I don’t. PREDICTION: The way War Eagle is getting defeathered at the moment, this is hardly an upset. Ole Miss by 7.

2. No.22 Mississippi State at No.5 LSU (-6.5): LSU had one of those monster weeks where they upset No.2 Georgia, saw a mass field invasion, and suddenly everybody is saying: “LSU is BACK”. If Mississippi State manages to run the ball effectively through Nick Fitzgerald, this one could be tight. PREDICTION: LSU by 10.

 3. Memphis at Missouri (-9.5): Hire Derek Dooley, get him to train up some wide receivers that can’t catch, and Drew Lock’s Heisman season has gone south in a hurry. Lock has thrown for ONE touchdown in three games. He’s also thrown 5 INTs. Although the lack of TDs can hardly all be attributed to Lock (his receivers have dropped open TDs), it’s still a wonder if it’s a matter of quarterback or system that he’s been so poor. Also not helped Lock’s cause is a defense that’s horrible, and it’s facing the 9^th best offense in the country, averaging a feisty 43 points per game. The problem for Memphis is the team is the 66^th-best in defense, giving up 25-a-game, and that’s why Mike Norvell’s team’s 4-3 and 1-3 in conference. This one should be fun. PREDICTION: Missouri squeaks by, winning by 3.

 4. Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-11): Kentucky is back after a week off, and they’ll face a Vanderbilt that was feisty with Georgia and Florida, but is 0-2. Kentucky has the defense to deal with Kyle Shurmur and Vandy’s ‘offense’, and you can expect Benny Snell to ram the ball right down the Commodores’ throat. PREDICTION: Kentucky by 17.

 5. No.1 Alabama (-29) at Tennessee: Alabama will come into a noisy Neyland Stadium at 3.30pm on CBS. The stadium will be rocking – thanks to Tennessee’s upset of Auburn the previous week. And then Alabama will score. And score. And score. And score. And after they finish with their 60 by the fourth quarter, they will run the ball and Tennessee fans will be relieved that Nick Saban didn’t put the foot on the gas anymore. PREDICTION: Tennessee gets a few stops and maybe a couple of touchdowns on the board, but Alabama rolls by 38.

6. Tulsa at Arkansas (-5.5): Arkansas has been getting better and better, and they – as they welcome QB Ty Storey back – shouldn’t have a problem getting Chad Morris his second win of his Razorbacks career. PREDICTION: We don’t understand why the Razorbacks are only 5.5- point favorites against a 1-6 Tulsa team. Anyway, we’ll take it. Arkansas by 14.

January 9th, 2018. Tua Tagovailoa replaces Jalen Hurts as Alabama’s quarterback mid-game after Hurts fails to show up, and wins the game for the Crimson Tide in overtime. Tuscaloosa celebrates (again). Athens mourns (again). Nick Saban breathes a sigh of relief. After all, he’d lobbied the program ever since the Tide lost to Auburn and didn’t get into the SEC Championship Game and might not have gotten into the danged play-off. Rammer Jammer was played, sung, and chanted. A lot. Someone swore that they saw Bear Bryant in heaven, crying.

Roll onto August 2018 and a controversy still reigns around Tuscaloosa. Who’s going to be the starting quarterback when the team kicks off against Louisville? Will it be ‘Tua’ or will it be Jalen? Tua’s had a few drives in a huge game, where he went 14-24 for 166 yards, 3 TDs and 1 INT. That wasn’t a great performance, but it was a hell of a lot better than Hurts’ on the night. And if Crimson Tide fans had been honest with themselves, Hurts wasn’t great last season, saved only by his excellent legs and a throwing arm that’s at best OK.

Jalen’s Dad is threatening with transfer if his little son isn’t given the starting job. Tua seems to be happy as-is. Saban’s getting asked the questions every 90 mins about the job, and it must be driving him mad.

Anyway, that’s the 2018 off-season. What’s going to happen to the Crimson Tide DURING the season?

OFFENSE

Regardless of who will be the QB in town, the great news for him is that he’s got two wonderful running backs to plough the road in Damien Harris, who ran for 1,000 yards and 12 TDs and Najee Harris, who rushed for over 10 yards per carry in the National Championship Game. Brian Robinson and Joshua Jacobs will prove to be good back-ups – particularly as Saban likes to platoon his running backs. And if Hurts doesn’t start, then the Tide loses some speed on the outside.

Oh, and the New Tide Quarterback may be stinging from the loss of Calvin Ridley, but Jerry Jeudy, Henry Ruggs and DeVonta Smith are all fine. Also, Xavian Marks can absolutely fly, and the unfortunately-named frosh (and the fifth-best overall player in Texas) Jaylen Waddle can absolutely fly too.

Offensive-line wise, three veteran players will fill in the line, with future NLF first rounder Jonah Williams the standout.

DEFENSE

The losses are going to be huge to this team. Gone to the NFL are leaders Minkah Kirkpatrick, Rashaan Evans, Ronnie Harrison, Da’Shawn Hand and Daron Payne.

Everyone’s expecting the Tide to reload, because that’s what they are used to. I’m sorry, but the secondary’s probably going to be a little rougher, although Deionte Thompson is expected to shine at safety. One of Trevon Diggs, Patrick Surtain and Savion Smith will play in the corners. It’s been noted that all but 1 of the INTs from the corner spot has gone professional, which means that offenses will try and go downtown. The first game against Louisville – a team not noted for its quiet defense – should be interesting from that point-of-view.

Otherwise, Anfernee Jennings, Mack Wilson and Dylan Moses lead a LOADED linebacking corps, and we’re excited about the damage Raekwon Davis (8 sacks last year), Isaiah Buggs and Quinnen Williams will cause.

SCHEDULE

Sept. 1 vs. Louisville (in Orlando)
Sept. 8 Arkansas State
Sept. 15 at Ole Miss
Sept. 22 Texas A&M
Sept. 29 Louisiana-Lafayette
Oct. 6 at Arkansas
Oct. 13 Missouri
Oct. 20 at Tennessee
Oct. 27 OPEN DATE
Nov. 3 at LSU
Nov. 10 Mississippi State
Nov. 17 Citadel
Nov. 24 Auburn

Alabama should roll (tide) in its first three games against Louisville, Arkansas State and at Ole Miss before having a bit of a battle with Texas A&M. After surviving that, they’ll smash Louisiana-Lafayette, Arkansas, Missouri and Tennessee. The dates at LSU and at home to Mississippi State could be toughies, while the home game to $1 million-receiving Citadel won’t. The best game on Bama’s schedule could be the home game to Auburn, which could see two unbeatens going for the SEC West title, if the Tigers do their bit. 

PREDICTION: 12-0. SEC WEST CHAMPIONS

So much for the #winning. Bret Bielema is now out after never finishing higher than 3rd in the SEC West, and finishing 7th in three out of seven years in his reign. Oh, and he went 11-29, which probably didn’t help him.

Anyway, Chad Morris has been ‘prized’ away from SMU, and he’s an exciting prospect for an offensethat depended on a heavy line but really went nowhere (94th in the country) and a defense that went nowhere too (102nd last year).

So what do we think will happen in 2018?

OFFENSE

Giant QB Cole Kelley (he’s 6-7) is loved by just about everybody, and we really like him, too. He threw for 1,038 yards and 8 TDs, and if Morris uses him better than Bielema did, he could be one of those Nick Fitzgerald types that could rock defenses in close yardage situations.

What’s exciting for the Razorbacks is that they bring back a lot of receiving talent with WRs Jonathan Nance (539 yards, 5 TDs), Deon Stewart (404 yards, 3 TDs), Jordan Jones (401 yards, 3 TDs) and TEs Cheyenne O’Grady (132 yards, 2 TDs) and Jeremy Patton (189 yards). There is also talent in reserve too, which means that things should be really damned interesting.

Rushing-wise, David Williams, who formed a 1,000-yard partnership with Javwah Whaley went to the NFL. Whaley is still around, and he will be the lead RB after a 559 yard, 7 TD season. Backing him up will be Chase Hayden, and both will be running behind a line which has two great players (Frank Ragnow and Hjalte Froholdt) but otherwise wasn’t that great. That’ll be the key to whether the ‘Backs can improve in a stacked West.

DEFENSE

Top tacklers D’John Harris and Dre Greenlaw are back, bringing with them 218 tackles combined from last year and 4.5 sacks, but this is a team that ranked 104th in the country in sacks and 115th out of 130 in points per game with 36.2. It wasn’t pretty.

New DC John Chavis, who’s been doing the rounds more than a drunk, morally ambiguous frat boy, is in another SEC job, and Razorbacks fans hoping that this time he’ll stick (then again, so does he!). McTelvin Agim and Randy Ramsey should be fun to watch, too.

In the secondary, Ryan Pulley will be the leader alongside safety Santos Ramirez, but will it improve from a team who seemed to let anyone through all the time?

Personally-speaking, we think Arkansas fans will think they are in a Pac-12 game with the amount of shoot-outs on the horizon.

PREDICTION

Sept. 1 Eastern Illinois
Sept. 8 at Colorado State
Sept. 15 North Texas
Sept. 22 at Auburn
Sept. 29 vs. Texas A&M (in Arlington)
Oct. 6 Alabama
Oct. 13 Ole Miss
Oct. 20 Tulsa
Oct. 27 Vanderbilt
Nov. 3 OPEN DATE
Nov. 10 LSU
Nov. 17 at Mississippi State
Nov. 24 at Missouri

The Hogs will go 3-0 in their first 3 games before losing at Auburn and the annual shoot-out against Texas A&M. Things won’t go well against Alabama, but Chad Morris’ team will win a high-scoring affair against Ole Miss, which could be the first to 70. They’ll beat Tulsa and Vanderbilt (both at home) before losing tight ones to LSU, Mississippi State and Missouri, although Missouri is more 50/50 than the other two in game-winning potential.

2018 PREDICTION

6-6. The Hogs will be back in a bowl, and the fanbase will be a little excited. The defense will need some work, though.

Right, Week 11 is done and dusted in College Football Lore, and all you’ll hear for the next two weeks is: “Miami is back” and “I can’t ****ing wait for the Iron Bowl”. While we know about the media excitement about Miami being back, the thought that Alabama visiting its two-loss rival before the Georgia game wouldn’t have given the insides a lot to stir about – especially from a College Play-Off perspective.

And then Georgia came to visit, and was slaughtered – so much so that Auburn’s QB Jarrett Stidham didn’t stay in the whole game. The Dawgs couldn’t stop Kerryon Johnson, who savaged Georgia’s front four in a way very similar to the way their own Bulldog pairing of Chubb and Michel had done the same.

Alabama, on the hand, went to Mississippi State and survived a Hail Mary to come away with a thrilling 31-24 victory, won in the last half-minute. We didn’t watch the game because we were too busy laughing about Miami and keeping our eyes in awe of Baker Mayfield, a Southern treasure who doesn’t reside in this conference.

Oh, and LSU played well for about three-ish quarters, the South Carolina-Florida game was an embarrassment to humanity, Missouri took the Champions of Life trophy away from Tennessee, Kentucky smoked Vanderbilt, and Ole Miss and Texas A&M wiped the floor with their joke opponents.

Anyway, here is our SEC rankings after Week 11:

1. Alabama: They struggled at Mississippi State, but Jalen Hurts showed why they love him in Tuscaloosa, and Alabama proved why they keep on winning – even with their injuries. Can’t wait for the Iron Bowl, by the way.
2. Auburn: I guess they can shut up about getting rid of Gus Malzahn now, huh? Can’t wait for the Iron Bowl, by the way.
3. Georgia: Georgia had good opportunities to take the crowd out of the game but blew them through dropped passes and stupid penalties. We are normally super-critical of Gary Danielson, but he was right when he said Georgia was “too amped”. This young team is going to have a learn some maturity in the next couple of weeks if it is to beat Alabama or Auburn in the SEC Championship Game.
4. Mississippi State: Gave everything against Alabama, and lost. Todd Grantham’s poor defensive playcalling at the end of the game didn’t help matters. All the same, Dan Mullen’s put together a hell of a team in Starkville. For the sake of SEC smaller schools, I hope he stays.
5. LSU: The Tigers still didn’t manage a complete four quarters against Arkansas, but it was comfortable enough. The Tigers have been on one hell of a rebound since the Troy loss, people.
6. Texas A&M: The Aggies beat the living crap out of a team that they were meant to beat the living crap out of. I still don’t get why they were only a 17-point favourite going into this one. Is Nick Starkel the future for A&M after throwing for 416 yards and four TDs (in one half)? We will see.
7. Missouri: As we’ve said before, Missouri is one of the in-form SEC teams at the moment. The offense dropped 50 on Tennessee, and everything seems to be ticking. Even the defense played its part in the second half of the game, after looking pretty shambolic at half-time.
8. Ole Miss: Eviscerated their opposition. No surprise there.
9. Kentucky: Vanderbilt’s an easy place to play when the majority of the crowd’s your fans, and Vanderbilt is awful. But Kentucky – who has played down to the level of the opposition nearly all season long – got its butt in gear and won Mark Stoops the lottery.
10. South Carolina: The win against Florida was an awful, awful, awful game to watch. The Gamecocks were lucky that Florida was worse than they were.
11. Arkansas: Battled LSU for one half, but looked out of sorts when LSU started to roll. Bret Bielema looks like a lost soul out there.
12. Florida: The defense actually played very well against South Carolina. The offense, as usual, didn’t show up.
13. Tennessee: Butch Jones is going to get fired.
14. Vanderbilt: The Tennessee vs Vanderbilt game on Thanksgiving will be one for the ages. Both teams will go into that game 0-7 in SEC play. YOU MUST WATCH IT OR DVR IT SO YOU CAN TELL YOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS ABOUT IT. Or not.

It’s not every day that after a team loses in the SEC that you say that you believe that a head coach has made his job safer, but the performance of Texas A&M in their loss to Alabama certainly earned a ton of plaudits for head coach Kevin Sumlin in a wild day for college football. The Aggies never stopped battling the No.1 Crimson Tide – which is more than you can say for Arkansas, who dropped nearly 50 points on the road at South Carolina (21 of those in defensive touchdowns), as the words “buyout” and “Bret Bielema” became more and more entwined. Elsewhere, LSU and Florida battled it out in an ugly slugfest, won 17-16 by the Tigers on a missed extra point by Florida’s meant-to-be infallible kicker Eddie Pineiro, Georgia whooped sliding Vanderbilt, Auburn trashed Ole Miss, and Kentucky beat Missouri in a tight one.

So here are your power rankings after Week 6:

1. Alabama: Got everything they could handle at Texas A&M. What makes Alabama great is that they win in a frenetic atmosphere like that, where others may have crumbled. Jalen Hurts proved that he’s once again not the finished article, but the running game is frighteningly good. We can’t wait for Nick Saban’s weekly sermon.
2. Georgia: Crushed Vanderbilt. Kirby Smart has insisted that there isn’t a quarterbacking controversy in Athens and has blamed the media for creating one, but if two people are already battling it out for the starting spot and then a recruit who just happens to be the No.1 QB in the nation pops up, 3-in-1 won’t work. You don’t have to be Einstein to work that out. Oh, and on yesterday’s game? The running game and defense are still excellent. We still don’t know a lot about the offensive line, though.
3. Auburn: Everything’s setting up for Nov.11 when they host Georgia. When at the start of the season the Tigers couldn’t get their asses into gear, now suddenly the rear of the TigerEagle is moving at full speed. Jarrett Stidham and Gus Malzahn seem to have worked out their offense, and everyone should now get out of the way. This is the (second) most dangerous team in the SEC.
4. Texas A&M: Kevin Sumlin deserves a hell of a lot of credit for keeping his team in the game for all four quarters. Of course, there are some fans who will want Sumlin out at the end of the season, but his teams are incredibly fun to watch. The crowd – which some describe as being Texas’ biggest cult since The Branch Davidians – is entertaining EVERY year.
5. LSU: The Tigers’ win at Florida was gutsy, ugly and brutal. The Tigers are still making stupid mistakes in terms of penalties, but on Saturday they buckled and refused to lose. Matt Canada’s patented jet sweep using Russell Gage which they played 11 million times at The Swamp is getting a little dull. If the defense can play like this every week, then the Tigers will be fine. If Danny Etling continues to play like this, LSU fans will be celebrating the day he leaves.
6. Florida: The good thing for Gators fans is that the SEC East will probably come down to the Cocktail Party in Jacksonville, but if they can beat Georgia and the Bulldogs lose to Auburn, they’ll once again go to Atlanta. Which would be a hell of an achievement for a team who has been more ugly than one of Cinderella’s sisters so far this season.
7. South Carolina: Comfortable in the win over Arkansas this week. Scored THREE defensive touchdowns, which was immense for the Gamecocks. Jake Bentley also contributed with throwing for 3 of his own. The Gamecocks could be a dangerous factor as the SEC East title races come to a head.
8. Mississippi State: Yes, we know that the Cowbellers handed the ass to LSU, but if you put these two together next week, would you really expect the same result? Probably not. I’m coming to two realisations: Mississippi State team ain’t that good, and the Egg Bowl will be THAT ugly.
9. Tennessee: The ‘Butch Jones Out’ campaign made it to Nebraska this week.
10. Kentucky: Were perhaps a little bit lucky with the officials in Lexington against Missouri, who denied the Tigers at least a play because of their slow ball placement towards the end of the game. The Wildcats continue to win ugly, and Mark Stoops couldn’t care less.
11. Arkansas: The voices manning the ‘Bret Bielema Out’ campaign are getting louder by the minute. Why hasn’t anyone gone to JerryWorld to plead for $12m from Jerry Jones?
12. Ole Miss: The defense is a disaster. Oh, and the new ‘Land Shark’ mascot might be even worse than the Bear.
13. Missouri: The battle they showed at Kentucky made me believe that things may not be as bad for Missouri as earlier expected. But they are still bad.
14. Vanderbilt: Losing to Alabama, Florida and Georgia is not a disgrace, but when you look clueless in two out of three of the games (and you’re  meant to be emphasising DEFENSE), then you’ve definitely got issues. The showdown between the Commodores and Missouri (a battle for 14th place on this list, we feel), is a car crash we’re all (not) willing to watch.