After Les Miles: Week 4 SEC Rankings

So, Les Miles is gone after one of the worst games on earth, Tennessee’s final over its Florida hoodoo, and Ole Miss beat the living crap out of Georgia.

So here’s our rankings from 1-14 of your SEC teams. If you don’t like it, let us know at @SECblog.

  1. Alabama (4-0): The SEC thanks God for Alabama, because otherwise the conference probably wouldn’t have a team in the play-off. The Crimson Tide is the most complete team in the conference, and maybe the country.
  2. Texas A&M (4-0): A win over Arkansas in JerryWorld wasn’t so much as impressive as the huge goal-line stands. This defense is for real, folks. They could be the SEC’s surprise package this year.
  3. Tennessee (4-0): This team could be scary good…if they could actually play four straight quarters of great football. So far, we’ve seen great halves of football against Virginia Tech and Florida. That’s about it.
  4. Ole Miss (3-1): Beat the living crap out of Georgia, and is so dangerous offensively. All they need is for Chad Kelly not to shoot himself in the foot.
  5. Arkansas (3-1): Got beaten because A&M’s defense was borderline erotic. They need to do better up front, though.
  6. LSU (3-1): Les Miles is gone, and hopefully that will mean that the offense does something actually interesting. The best news of the Les Miles firing, Cam Cameron is gone too.
  7. Florida (3-1): I haven’t seen a Florida team give up like they did in the second half against Tennessee in years. That’s why they are below LSU in the pecking order.
  8. Auburn (3-1): The offense is a disaster. The defense is great.
  9. Georgia (3-1): After the Ole Miss crushing, this Georgia team really will struggle this year. The Bulldogs are lucky that the SEC East is Dawg-doo-doo.
  10. Missouri (3-1): Josh Heupel’s offense may have destroyed two very bad teams, but we think Missouri might also scare the living hell out of LSU on Saturday.
  11. Mississippi State (3-1): Yeah…..This team only beat UMass by 12. Yeah…so…..Mississippi State is weak.
  12. Kentucky (2-2): This is a bad Kentucky team, but it beat South Carolina.
  13. South Carolina (2-2): This is a bad South Carolina team, but it beat Vanderbilt. And lost to Kentucky.
  14. Vanderbilt (2-2): This is a bad Vanderbilt team. A very bad Vanderbilt team.

Top 10 unforgettable Les Miles moments

The most unforgettable moments of Les Miles’ tenure as head coach of LSU:

  1. The crazy win over Auburn in 2007 . One of the finest endings to a football game you’ll ever see. Mike Patrick’s commentary adds to the lunacy, too.
  2. The National Championship Victory in 2007. They beat the snot out of Ohio State that day. A lot of NCAA coaches haven’t won titles, but college football  – especially in Baton Rouge – would like to know what you’ve done for them lately.
  3. The ‘I’m not going to Michigan’ speech. He didn’t seem to want to go to Michigan. Especially before the SEC Championship Game in 2007. And we mean RIGHT BEFORE. LSU went onto win the game, but on the last day of the regular season, LSU lost to Arkansas in bizarre fashion. Talk about a bizarre coach, eh?
  4. LSU vs Florida in 2010. LSU trick play gives them extra life, a Terrence Tolliver TD with 11 second left gives the Bayou Bengals the win over Urban Meyer and the Gators in The Swamp. The best thing about the video is the tension on the LSU fans’ faces. Go on – try telling is us this ‘only a football game’.
  5. The ‘kiss on the mouth’ speech after the win against Ole Miss in 2012. It was awesome.
  6. The way that Les Miles held back his team before their entrance. It was one of the most underrated entrances in college football. Seriously.
  7. Carried off the field after the win over Texas A&M in 2015, showing Joe Alleva how much the players loved him. Now it would all change in 2016 when nothing changed offensively, but for that fleeting moment, there was hope….
  8. The 13-men-on-the-field miracle against Tennessee in 2010. Tennessee won the game on a botched snap, until it was ruled that there was 13 men on the field, giving a free snap to the Tigers. Guess who won……
  9. Magnolia Bowl craziness: Jeremy Hill – who shouldn’t have even been playing for LSU – scores the winning touchdown over Ole Miss with 15 seconds left to win 41-35 in one of the craziest games you’ll ever see. Hilariously, the 10-7 loss led to an Ole Miss girl getting very, very angry….
  10. His awesome clap. So good someone made a song about it.

Three stats why LSU fired Les Miles

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After LSU’s loss to Auburn in one of the most awful offensive games anyone will ever see,  I came away from the game thinking: “Les Miles will either go during this season, or at the end of it.”

Why? He simply had to. He had to because the team wasn’t pulling its weight on the offensive side of the ball, neither he nor offensive co-ordinator seemed to be able to coach a quarterback, and the team was playing like a team that could fall apart at any second. The more and more LSU failed to score a touchdown and the camera panned onto him, the more and more he looked like a forlorn figure.

You almost knew that if LSU didn’t get it together in Jordan-Hare, he’d be out of a job.

Well, on Sunday the news came through: Les Miles was gone as the head coach of LSU. And with him – and gladly for not only Tigers fans but also anyone who likes seeing a vaguely accomplished offense – is Cam Cameron, his offensive co-ordinator.

And as much as people will blame the comical loss at home to Auburn for Miles’ firing, there are three stats that I would put forward for the reason Joe Alleva had to say: “Au revoir” to the guy they probably wanted out around this time last year. 

STAT 1: LSU IS 111TH (THAT’S ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVENTH) in total offense. They are a poor rushing team (53rd) and sure as hell are a poor passing team (119th).

STAT 2: LSU is 35th in total defense. LSU has been really good at missing tackles. 

THE MOST IMPORTANT: LSU IS 2-2. In a season where many believed that they were too talented NOT to challenge for a play-off. 

 

CAM CAMERON IS AN IDIOT

One of the stupidest moves of Les Miles’ career – and this disregards his bad clock management and the stubbornness that has cost the team a number of leads of the years – was re-hiring offensive co-ordinator Cameron in the off-season.

With Cameron once again at the helm of the offense, the team:

  1. Couldn’t get it together against Wisconsin (Brandon Harris looked awful)
  2. Weren’t great against Jacksonville State
  3. Were way too conservative against Mississippi State (and nearly fumbled away a comfortable position but escaped with a victory).
  4. Scored a TD early against Auburn and did nothing apart from kick field goals from then on. Yes, they were playing a loud road atmosphere, but they were also playing a team that had a fanbase that was running out of faith in their own team’s coaches, too.

Also, LSU has two quarterbacks they don’t trust, and their attempts at giving the ball to Leonard Fournette when the rest of the SEC is determined to stop him have yielded one of the most underwhelming ‘Heisman’ seasons in recent memory.

 

Of course, the last-second win against Auburn that would have put the Bayou Bengals at 3-1 and rescued Miles’ job would have been very lucky, but thankfully the fact that LSU didn’t get the play off on time (I mean: DO THEY NOT COACH THESE THINGS?) meant that 2-2 ended Miles and Cameron’s careers.

WELL-REWARDED

However, let’s not feel too sorry for Les Miles. Not only does he not have to deal with the pressure cooker of Baton Rouge or the SEC (although he did some great works there – particularly during the time of natural disasters), but he also will walk home

  • Miles was paid $4 million by LSU, and there is talk of a buy-out being as much as $13 million – although The Advocate believes that that has been reduced by the fact that Miles has worked for the first 10 months of 2016.
  • Cameron was paid $1.2 million per  year for a three-year contract that ran until 2018. 

But the main reason I believe that Les Miles was fired is Nick Saban. LSU hasn’t beaten Alabama in its last five attempts, was embarrassed in the National Championship Game against the Crimson Tide, and Alleva didn’t see any hope of beating Saban in Baton Rouge on November 5th. So he fired him.

Who’ll win Florida vs Tennessee? SEC Week 4 Preview

Right, College Gameday’s going to Tennessee (again) to show ‘dem Volunteers (again) play the University of Florida (for the first time) at Neyland Stadium (for the first time this year).

Everyone’s going to be amped….apart from those who have to watch it on TV, who are going to have to watch an ad break masking as a SEC 3.30pm College Football Game.

Seriously though, here are your biggest games of the Week in order of appeal/importance. And yes, we know that Alabama fans are going to care more about eating Kent State alive than they are about Florida vs Tennessee, but it’s interesting for the rest of us. So there you go….

  1. Florida at Tennessee (3.30pm)

Florida’s got enough defensive weapons to close down Tennessee, but will they have the quarterback to punish the Vols? Austin Appleby’s not making us wildly excited. Then again, Tennessee hasn’t pretty much sleepwalked through 3-0. This game will be loud, will be orange, and will be very, very ugly. The winner probably punches their ticket to the Atlanta. That’s because Georgia ain’t good.

BOLD PREDICTION: Tennessee’s a 6-1/2 point favorite. We like Tennessee to FINALLY chomp the Gators. By a field goal. 

2. Texas A&M vs Arkansas (9pm ET)

The great thing about the last two times these two teams have got together in JerryWorld is that they’ve gone to overtime. Arkansas has lost both times, which hasn’t done them favors in the SEC West race. Texas A&M has been more impressive this season on defense, while Arkansas got it together slightly on the other side of the ball last week. But then for the Aggies,  Trevor Knight might not be that great, but his wide receivers really, really are. And that guy Myles Garrett on the defense isn’t too bad either. SEE WHY THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY? This is a head-scratcher, and karma-borderline-erotic. If Arkansas loses their third game in a row at JerryWorld, Jerry Jones’ face might melt off.

BOLD PREDICTION: Texas A&M’s a 5-1/2 point favorite. We’ll take A&M by a touchdown. Probably in overtime. 

3. Georgia at Ole Miss (12pm ET)

It’s sad to see two programs who played two of the funnest games in Week 3 get sent to The Grove for a 12pm kick-off. The good news for my buddies is that the tailgate will have to go on AFTER the game (or start really, really, really, really, really, really, really, early), but the bad news is is that they might have to be relatively sober to watch Ole Miss destroy Georgia’s line. It should be interesting to see if Ole Miss stops Isaiah McKenzie, though….no-one else has.

BOLD PREDICTION: Ole Miss is a 7-point favorite. I’m taking Ole Miss by 10. 

4. LSU at Auburn (6pm ET)

If any of you think that this game’s going to be fun, think again. Make sure you drink a hell of a lot before watching this one. I wouldn’t recommend the kind of moonshine that makes you blind before watching, but it might help.

BOLD PREDICTION: LSU’s a 10-point favorite. LSU will win by 6. And it could be 9-3. 

5. Vanderbilt at Western Kentucky (4.30 pm)

We don’t normally see a SEC team as an underdog in a non-Power 5 match-up, but the Commodores are today. Nicholas Norris and Taywan Taylor could cause Vanderbilt’s secondary fits, yo. If WKU can stop running back Ralph Webb, they’ll be laughing.

BOLD PREDICTION: Western Kentucky’s an 8-point favorite. OK, we’ll go WKU by 10.  

6. South Carolina at Kentucky (7.30pm ET)

This isn’t going to be pleasant to watch on a defensive point of view, but Kentucky’s offense could be secretly decent. It’ll have to be, because the defense let New Mexico State score 40 on them. South Carolina? Every game Will Muschamp’s team has played as made you want to poke your eyes out.

BOLD PREDICTION: Kentucky to win by 7 in a close, relatively-entertaining game. If you love second-tier SEC football players.

7. Mississippi State at UMass (3.30pm)

Mississippi State could have won at LSU, but then again, they could – and maybe should – have been destroyed. Still, the defense created some turnovers. UMass battled Florida for a half before the Gators made some adjustments. But with the crowd behind them – and bearing in mind what happened with South Alabama – this could be interesting.

BOLD PREDICTION: Mississippi State’s a 22-point favorite. We’re going to take MSU, but only by 17. 

8. Kent State at Alabama (12pm)

Why do you need a preview?

BOLD PREDICTION: Alabama wins this one, and they win by 50. They win by that amount because Lane Kiffin’s fed up with Nick Saban’s ****.

9. Delaware State at Missouri

Missouri had a heartbreaker last week, but we predict the offense gets going and crushed the Dellies. Or whatever their name is.

BOLD PREDICTION: Missouri by 50. 

 

Ole Miss, Oh Damn…..Week 3 ratings

Did Hugh Freeze’s prayers to The Man Upstairs make any difference against Alabama? Well, at the start he must have thought that the Big H was going to deliver him and the Ole Miss faithful their third straight victory against Satan’s Tide when the Rebs took a 24-3 lead…..and then they choked. Choked. Choked all the way to a 48-43 lead.

Elsewhere, Leonard Fournette didn’t look like a Heisman contender, Missouri broke its fans’ hearts by losing 28-27 at home to Georgia, the knives are coming out for Gus Malzahn, and Kentucky were taken to task by New Mexico State until the end. Oh, and Florida, Tennessee and Arkansas did what they had to do against poor opposition, although Tennessee’s victory was certainly the least impressive. And to the Commodores: That was quite a beating by Georgia Tech, wasn’t it?

So here are your rankings from 1-14 of SEC Teams after Week 3:

  1. Alabama (3-0): Everyone scored touchdowns. Fat guys, thin guys, special teams guys……The Crimson Tide weren’t great, but they are the pick of the SEC.
  2. Arkansas (3-0): Bret Bielema’s got the Razorbacks playing. They did what they should have done against a poor team.
  3. Texas A&M (3-0): I’m getting increasingly excited by this Aggies team. The defense is good, and the wide receivers are baddass…as proved in the win over Auburn.
  4. Florida (3-0): Not saying a lot after playing three pretty poor teams, but the Gators are the pick for SEC East (in that we think they are better than Tennessee and far, far better than Georgia).
  5. Tennessee (3-0): At some point either the Vols will get better or they’ll play a team who’s on their talent level…and get crucified. I’m sorry, the whole “This Tennessee team’s really goin’ slow” B.S. getting trotted out at the moment isn’t for me. Tennessee have so far underwhelmed. And I include the win at Bristol.
  6. Ole Miss (1-2): If they played crappy opposition, Ole Miss would be 3-0. FSU and Alabama was always going to be tough, but the Rebs seem to be great at delivering their fans heartbreak week after week. And Chad Kelly’s the Second Coming of Bo Wallace, in the way that he happy dovetails dumb throw and good throw in equal measure. This is a pretty good team though – as Georgia will find out next week.
  7. LSU (2-1): How could such a talented team underperform so badly? When it’s LSU, of course! Leonard Fournette coughed up two fumbles (one recovered), and really didn’t look great in the second half. Danny Etling has good moments but wasn’t great, and LSU let Mississippi State come back to a point they nearly won. Unbelievable. I’m beginning to understand why the fans want Les Miles out….
  8. Georgia (3-0): This is the worst 3-0 in the SEC, and maybe the country. Should have lost to Nicholls last week and mildly avoided the loss against Missouri, who controlled the game. Nick Chubb will not win the Heisman, and that’s less about Louisville Superman Lamar Jackson and more about the Dawgs offensive line.
  9. Auburn (1-2): Great defensive line, no offense. And when the offense stalls, the defense gets tired, and the rest is the ‘L’, which Texas A&M gave them in Jordan-Hare. The LSU/Auburn game will not be for the neutrals (unless they have to go as part of a rehab stint).
  10. Missouri (1-2): Actually, should be 2-1 after today’s game. Crushing loss but some points coming out of it.
  11. Mississippi State (1-2): This isn’t a good side, and should have been shelled by LSU. But they hung on there, and had the chance to tie, if not win.
  12. South Carolina (2-1): Beat those people predicting the upset for East Carolina, something that must have Will Muschamp smiling, but the Gamecocks still aren’t a great team.
  13. Kentucky (1-2): Scored 62 on………………….New Mexico State. Conceded 42 against………….New Mexico State. Well, at least non-SEC UK games are entertaining. Or at least will be until the Louisville game, where they’ll get killed.
  14. Vanderbilt (1-2): Sorry, Vandy’s not going to win a SEC game this year.

Week 3 SEC Predictions

cIt’s Week 3, which means we’ve got a beautiful mix of in-conference SEC match-ups and non-conference ones.

In-conference, we’ve got some games. Alabama is rolling into Ole Miss, thirsting for revenge after the last two losses to the Rebels, No.17 Texas A&M’s trip to Auburn could be a war, and Georgia’s trip to Missouri has upset written all over it. Oh, and then there’s always LSHambles playing Mississippi State. What could possibly go wrong for Les Miles?

The biggest non-conference battle a SEC team is involved in in Week 3 is Vanderbilt’s trip to Georgia Tech, while East Carolina’s trip to South Carolina could be interesting. Otherwise, expect SEC teams to roll.

Anyway, without further ado, here are your previews, in order of what’s really interesting.

  1. No.1 Alabama at No.19 Ole Miss

Nick Saban blew up like Grumpy in the Snow White movie at Lane Kiffin during the final throes ‘Bama’s dominant, but poor performance against Western Kentucky. Alabama’s players are PSYCHED for the trip to Oxford, particularly bearing in mind the pain that they went through the last time they were there – and the farce that was the home loss to the Rebels in 2015. On Ole Miss’ side, I’m still wondering which Hugh Freeze will come out. This will be fun.

PREDICTION: Alabama’s an 8-1/2 point favorite. We like Alabama to win by 10 in a game that’s close until mid-4th quarter.

2. No.16 Georgia at Missouri

Penn State fans would have found Georgia’s line work against might Nicholls State a freaking horror show. That’s how bad it was last week. Missouri finally managed to get it together offensively – albeit a Directionless Michigan team (we think it was Eastern) – and suddenly the ‘Zou has confidence – especially with a crowd who will be PUMPED after spending all day drinking. Listen, if these Tigers should be smelling blood. I would be.

PREDICTION: Upset alert! Missouri’s a 6-1/2 point home underdog against a poor Georgia team. Missouri to pull off the upset, and win by a touchdown.

3. No.17 Texas A&M at Auburn

I’m more convinced by Texas A&M than I am by Auburn, and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Texas A&M’s wide receiving corps. Jordan-Hare will be rocking for this one. I can’t quite work out why they are the favourite. Was it their soul-building victory over no-one in particular last week or the fact they SHOULD have beaten Clemson?

PREDICTION: Auburn’s a 3-1/2 favorite, which I find a little curious. I’m taking the AGGIES in an ‘bookies upset’. 

4. Mississippi State at No.20 LSU

LSU’s a 14-point favourite, and it’s only because Mississippi State’s really that bad that we think that the Tigers might cover. Danny Etling is suddenly the King of Baton Rouge, although on various podcasts we’ve been reminded that he only threw for a smidgeon over 50% against poor opposition. Leonard Fournette’s gonna be back for this one, which will be huge for the Tigers.

PREDICTION: LSU gets it together, gets its first SEC West win, and more than covers the spread.

5. Vanderbilt at Georgia Tech 

Georgia Tech’s win over Boston College in Ireland wasn’t one for the neutrals. It really wasn’t. Then again, nor was Vanderbilt’s shambolic loss against South Carolina a couple of days’ earlier, either. Vandy rebounded to a win last week, and Georgia Tech went to 2-0, but these are two pretty bad football teams. If Georgia Tech can get it together with their triple option offense, then Vanderbilt really should be no match for ’em. Vanderbilt’s gotta be feeling a little happier about point-scoring after dropping 47 on Middle Tennessee State, but MTSU are hardly Alabama, yo.

PREDICTION: Georgia Tech’s a 6-1/2 point favorite and we love it. Take the YELLOW JACKETS all day (and night).

6. East Carolina at South Carolina

South Carolina were poor against Mississippi State. They made a nice comeback to at least keep your attention in the fourth quarter, but really, Will Muschamp’s team might be the second or third worst team in the SEC this year (as we say this, we realise how terrible the SEC East is this year). East Carolina’s victory over NC State showed that they aren’t to be messed with, either.

PREDICTION: South Carolina’s a 7-point favorite. We’re taking East Carolina to at least cover, if not cause the UPSET.

7. Ohio at No.15 Tennessee

Tennessee hasn’t performed anywhere near it’s best all season long, but the Vols are still 2-0. Ohio, which is 1-1 after losing to Texas State and beating Kansas (Tennessee’s wins over Appalachian State and Virginia stand out suddenly as ‘better competition’), have shown one thing: They have no defense. Expect Josh Dobbs and friends to run wild.

PREDICTION: Tennessee’s a 27-1/2 point favorite. If Butch Jones wants to pour it on, we figure Tennessee could comfortably cover, and win by 40. 

The ‘Best’ of the Rest

8. Texas State at Arkansas

After two seat-of-your-pants wins by the Hogs, this game against Texas State won’t be ‘borderline erotic’ for Bielema & Co, who should be really upset with themselves if they haven’t taken out their starters by mid-3rd quarter….if not earlier.

PREDICTION: Arkansas’ a 31-1/2 point favorite, and we think they will COVER.

And otherwise, we think:

  • Florida will COVER against North Texas as 36-point favorites.
  • Kentucky will COVER against New Mexico State, winning by 28 and making Mark Stoops happy. Kinda.

Undeniable SEC statements from Week 2

Here’s a statement about each SEC team after their Week 2 performances, and we think you’ll find it undeniable.

If you think we’re talking B.S., tweet us on @SECblog.

  1. Alabama: It wasn’t exactly a surprise that Nick Saban lit Lane Kiffin’s ass on fire at the end of the Western Kentucky game. The team looked sleepy. They beat the spread, but only just! Also, Nick Saban’s strategy of saying unkind things about the team to fire them up for big games wasn’t lost on the Alabama media. It becomes a bit of a charade. Especially when the guy doing it could star in ‘Willow’.
  2. Tennessee: Caused five fumbles, and recovered them. And took advantage of Virginia Tech’s fumblefingers. This team may not be as bad as we thought they were against Appalachian State.
  3. Arkansas: When you make throat-slash gestures and your team loses to Bret Bielema, that’s karma, Kenny Hill.
  4. Georgia: The Bulldogs have no offensive line, according to a friend who was at the debacle against Nicholls State. “This will be a ****ing long season,” he added.
  5. LSU: Danny Etlng is maybe the new king of LSU. Mainly because Brandon Harris is a crapshow. We don’t know why Leonard Fournette didn’t play, but we presume he wasn’t injured.
  6. Ole Miss: If this game was preparation for Alabama, then this was, er, fine.
  7.  Kentucky: The Wildcats aren’t very good.
  8. Florida: Can’t wait for the Tennessee game. That’ll decide the East.
  9. Mississippi State: Great rebound against South Alabama. The lightning break was cool too. They are still the weakest team in the West. By a mile.
  10. Texas A&M: We thought they’d pitch a shut-out against mighty Prairie View A&M. We were right.
  11. Missouri: Hell froze over. Missouri scored 61 and won by 40. And Drew Locke looked good doing it, too.
  12. Auburn: They papered the new oaks after the win over Arkansas State. Sean White actually looked serviceable (he threw 3 TDs), folks.
  13. South Carolina: Kept on battling.
  14. Vanderbilt: Middle Tennessee State’s ‘D’ makes Vanderbilt’s offense look good.

Right, there isn’t a lot in Week 2 for SEC team, unless you’re a rabid fan and you get overly-excited about Georgia dropping a ton on Nicholls State or Myles Garrett eating Prairie View A&M’s offensive line alive in College Station. We will see SEC schools run up the scores on their diminutive opponents. Sorry for not writing up a bigger preview of Alabama vs Western Kentucky, but Alabama should win by 40.

It’s not going to be pretty for a lot of visiting schools.

But there are a few games that might be interesting….

  1. Arkansas vs No. 15 TCU

Arkansas survived Louisiana Tech by a single point and TCU survived South Dakota State in 59-41 shoot-out. This game could depend on Arkansas RB Rawleigh Williams – who had nearly 100 yards against Louisana Tech – to get some good numbers, and Austin Allen will simply have to be better than he was. On TCU side, they probably don’t know what in the hell Kenny Hill’s going to be thinking – because no-one does. Any victory for a SEC school vs a  Big XII ‘powerhouse’ will be seen as a victory….particularly when the Razorbacks are 8 point underdogs.

TIP: TCU by 3. 

2. Tennessee vs Virginia Tech

I’ve actually been to Bristol Motor Speedway, and it’s one of the coolest places to watch a NASCAR race. So it shouldn’t be a lot different when Tech and Tennessee play there. The reason why it’s there is fairly simple: Virginia and Tennessee are bordered in Bristol. There’s even a shitty bar called ‘State Line’, which is going to be rammed tonight and tomorrow. Anyway, as for the game, Tennessee was awful and should have lost against Appalachian State, while Virginia Tech was poor against Liberty but  – as is the case with the Bud Foster defense – they took over and won pretty easily. This could be a bad game for the neutrals, but a wonderful spectacle.

TIP: Tennessee by 7.

3. Kentucky vs Florida

We don’t know what to quite say about Florida, because the offense showed us so little against U-Mass in the 24-7 win that it feels as though the Kentucky game is the first game of the year. Kentucky would love a Week 1 re-do too after a terrible home loss to Southern Miss when they had all the momentum and then fell to pieces. If Florida slices Kentucky like it happened in the second half, then the Gators are going to win comfortably.

TIP: Florida by 21

4. South Carolina vs Mississippi State

I wish I’d been on drugs on Thursday – it might have made the South Carolina vs Vanderbilt game all the more palatable. As for Mississippi State, I didn’t get to watch the torturous, awful loss against South Alabama. Safe to say they miss Dak Prescott, huh? Anyway, we don’t like Dan Mullen, MSU’s head coach (simply because of the fact that Mullen doesn’t like being in Starkville). This game will be uglier than sin.

TIP: South Carolina by 3. Probably 3-0. After overtime.

For the other games? Here are our ‘bold’ predictions:

  • Georgia vs Nicholls State won’t be close, and Jacob Eason will assume the right hand of The Father (or is his name Vince Dooley?)
  • As mentioned, Alabama will beat Western Kentucky by 40. Maybe more.
  • Texas A&M will beat Prairie View A&M by 50. And may pitch a shut-out.
  • Ole Miss will smash Wofford by 60, and Chad Kelly will go back to being ‘good Chad Kelly’.
  • Auburn will shell Arkansas State.
  • Vanderbilt will beat Middle Tennessee State, but only by 21 in a game close until the 4th quarter.

Last week, my predictions were terrible. So let’s forget about Week 1, shall we?

The SEC would love to have Week 1 back

Right, we here at the SEC would like to have Week 1 back.

Sure, some of the schools are 1-0 and some are not, but none of our teams were particularly great, and some of them – even in victory – couldn’t seem to get their collective asses off the ground.

Anyway, here’s ranking how every team in the conference did this week, in order of performance:

  1. Alabama (win vs USC)- The Alabama fans were ready to lynch Lane Kiffin, right until the USC QB threw a pick-6 and the Crimson Tide to shreds. It wasn’t a complete performance, but if this was considered as a bad performance after Week One, then the rest of college football is in trouble. Oh, and this Hurts kid looks good, people….
  2. Texas A&M (win vs UCLA) – The wide receivers are good, and the defense – especially that Myles Garrett kid – are great. But they HAVE to play for four quarters. Listen, they were lucky – UCLA had so many chances to win this game even before free football – but wins are wins.
  3. Georgia (win vs North Carolina)- Nick Chubb’s pretty damned good, y’all. Which is good, because the defense isn’t that great. And Kirby Smart hasn’t worked out who’s the good quarterback – the veteran with a pea-arm, or the kid with the cannon. We’ll go with the cannon, but maybe that’s just us.
  4. Auburn (loss vs Clemson) – Look, I thought the Tigers would get shellacked at home to Clemson, but boy, was I wrong. The Tigers SHOULD have done more offensively, but Gus Malzahn doesn’t seem to have a clue as to who his starting quarterback should be. In our view, it definitely shouldn’t be Sean White. He sucks. But the defensive line? Wow.
  5. South Carolina (win vs Vanderbilt) – HEY. WE DIDN’T EXPECT MUSCHAMP TO GET A WIN HERE.
  6. Ole Miss (loss vs Florida State) – Well, the first half looked great, didn’t it? The rest of it – not so pretty. Chad Kelly went from Heisman to Fliesman in the space of a half. Or Florida State simply made the sort of adjustments that should make everyone else very, very afraid.
  7. Florida (win vs UMass) – When the best moment of the game was Steve Spurrier doing the Usain Bolt before the game and Steve Spurrier’s interview with the SEC Network during the game, you know what’s happening on the game stank like a swamp
  8. Missouri (loss vs West Virginia)  – This team isn’t going to be very good this year, but the offense actually looked like it could move a little. That’s why the Tigers tripled their entire 2015 scoring total in one game this year.
  9. Arkansas (ONE-POINT win vs Louisiana Tech) – Should have lost this game, but didn’t. What will happen against a TCU game that should have lost to South Dakota State this week? Probably the shoot-out of the century.
  10. Vanderbilt (loss vs South Carolina) – The reason why it’s not higher? Vandy’s best chance to win a SEC game this season was in Week One against an ordinary South Carolina team. And they blew it.
  11. Kentucky (loss vs Southern Miss) – Dazzling in first half, played like they were blind in the second half. Only had under 15 plays in the second half as Southern Miss destroyed them on both sides of the ball. And you know what? What we say is true. We watched it. It wasn’t even funny.
  12. Tennessee (win vs Appalachian State) – The Volunteers got very, very lucky. They should have ‘done a Michigan’ and lost on Thursday night. But they didn’t, and they are 1-0. It’ll be interesting to see if Butch Jones can turn it around against Florida. He’ll need to.
  13. LSU (loss vs Wisconsin) – We loved Les Miles so much that we hoped and prayed he’d stay in Baton Rouge for another season. We hated Cam Cameron last year and the year before. Miles should have fired Cameron, and didn’t. In fact, this Spring he actually RE-UPPED Cameron’s contract for another three years where he’ll get paid around $1.2 million per year. He took a pay-cut of $300,000, but he shouldn’t have had it renewed in the first place. And the result? Brandon Harris is STILL the starting quarterback at LSU, despite sucking ass yet again.
  14. Mississippi State (loss vs South Alabama) – This isn’t about a 5-star player getting banned for beating the crap out of a woman during the off-season. This is about a coach who has made it clear he doesn’t care about life in Starkville….so much so that he interviewed for other jobs. Recruits aren’t going to care as this happens, are they? Oh, and Dak Prescott’s left.

Quick SEC Preview: The Games To Watch

There are going to be fantastic games this SEC season. Here are the top games to watch between SEC teams or involving SEC teams. Sorry, but Alabama vs USC or LSU vs Wisconsin aren’t going to be up there….

TOP NON-CONFERENCE GAMES

  1. Ole Miss vs Florida State — September 5th – Yep. That’s Monday Night Football. It’s going to be hot, humid, and the chance to see if Ole Miss can spring a surprise. There’s also a bingo to see how much ABC/ESPN say the words: “Sanctions”.
  2. Virginia Tech vs Tennessee — September 10th — Because college football in one of the best NASCAR tracks in front of 160,000 drunk people on the border of Tennessee and Virginia Tech (where Bristol, TN is situated) means just one word: FUN.
  3. Florida vs Florida State — November 26th – Because Florida could trainwreck Florida State’s chances of going to the College Football Play-Off. And maybe – just maybe – stamp their own credentials, too (if they beat Tennessee, Georgia and LSU in SEC play).
  4. Arkansas vs TCU — September 10th – Can Arkansas spring a surprise on a team that’ll be missing Treyvon Boykin?
  5. Clemson at Auburn – September 3rd – Two lightning-quick offenses with Clemson recovering from the loss of a lot of talent to the NFL in what will be an amped-up environment? Yes, we’ll take a bit of that.
  6. UCLA at Texas A&M – September 3rd – Josh Rosen (future NFL first rounder) vs Myles Garrett (Definite future NFL first rounder). We can’t wait. College Station will be noisy.
  7. LSU vs Wisconsin – September 3rd – Because both sides make liver damage seem cool.
  8. Alabama vs USC – September 3rd – It’s low on our list because we don’t think it’ll be an exciting game (Alabama will run riot, probably), but as a match-up of two college football bluebloods….YES! We hate the fact it’s in JerryWorld, though.
  9. UNC vs Georgia – September 3rd – A chance to see Jacob Eason and Kirby Smart’s first game. Don’t screw this one up, Kirby.
  10. Arkansas State vs Auburn – September 10th – Jacksonville State should have beaten Auburn last season. So why not Arkansas State this year?

TOP SEC GAMES

  1. Alabama at LSU — November 5th — This basically decides the SEC West and maybe a spot in the College Football Play-Off. Both seasons are probably going to go into this one unbeaten, which could make it a phenomenal game to watch. Gary Danielson will be at this game, so he’s sure to be annoying.
  2. Alabama at Tennessee – October 15th – Everyone feels that this is Tennessee’s best chance of turning over the Crimson Tide. Especially at Neyland Stadium, where the atmosphere will be cooking and most probably College Gameday will be on campus.
  3. Georgia at Ole Miss – September 24th – You don’t get to see these two play that often (the last time was in 2012), and the scene in Oxford will be awesome. Especially if both teams are unbeaten.
  4. LSU at Florida – October 8th – The biggest test for LSU’s play-off credentials will come in the evil known as The Swamp. It should be fun.
  5. Florida at Tennessee – September 24th – The Gators OWN the Vols, who haven’t beaten them since Philip Fulmer was in charge. This is the chance for UT to break the curse.
  6. Texas A&M vs Arkansas – September 24th – EVERY GAME BETWEEN THESE TWO ARE NUTS.
  7. Alabama vs Ole Miss – September 17th – It couldn’t happen again, could it?
  8. Tennessee vs Georgia – October 1st – UGA will be looking for revenge after last year, and this could be THE SEC East showdown.
  9. Florida vs Georgia – October 29th – This could be the case that the winner goes to Atlanta.
  10. LSU at Texas A&M  – November 24th – We can see the scenario: Les Miles is unbeaten, going into 5-6 Texas A&M and a tidy 14 point favourite. The win? LSU goes to Atlanta, and probably the Play-Off. He loses? The season ends. And….
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