Will Georgia raise a cocktail? Week 9 SEC Preview

It’s Cocktail Party week, when the Georgia and Florida fans descend on Jacksonville and get blind drunk before the 3.30 pm kick-off, and provide an atmosphere that’s OK. During the week before, Florida’s been talking a lot of crap, while the head coach has been telling stories (which might be true) about death threats.

If we’re honest, that’s going to be the most interesting game of the week. The ones are a little bit of a struggle.

  1. No.3 Georgia (-14) vs Florida: Georgia fans are going to run, run, run the ball down Florida’s throat, and hope that Jake Fromm’s not forced into passing. Despite what people say, UF has a good secondary, and every game that they’ve lost have been a lot closer than 14 points. The problem for Florida is that they are facing a great defense, and their offense absolutely sucks. PREDICTION: Georgia by 17.
  2. Tennessee vs Kentucky (-4): The Butch Jones death train spirals downwards to Lexington, KY, where eyes are going to be on whether the Vols survive after last week’s brutal beating by Alabama. The news that the Volunteers’ top running back got himself suspended can’t have helped the humor around the program either. Kentucky last week wasn’t too great itself, getting its hind pots booted by Mississippi State. This could be awful to watch. PREDICTION: Kentucky by 7.
  3. Mississippi State (-1.5) vs Texas A&M: After beating the crap out of Kentucky, people are talking again about whether Mississippi State’s losing streak was an aberration, while Texas A&M isn’t as bad as people think. We love Christian Kirk, a lot. But then again, we love Nick Fitzgerald a lot, too. This is going to the wire. PREDICTION: Texas A&M in the mild ‘upset’, winning by 3. 
  4. Arkansas at Ole Miss (-3.5): This is how bad Arkansas is, people. Ole Miss, which is rumored to be mailing it in, has no defense to speak of and now doesn’t have a quarterback that’s any good after Shea Patterson’s season-ending injury. Arkansas is still an underdog to Ole Miss this week. The pressure on Bret Bielema’s hotting up – and is possibly hotting up on AD Jeff Long, who despite talking a good game at College Football Play-Off time, should really look after the games the Razorbacks are playing. PREDICTION: Ole Miss by 10. 
  5. Vanderbilt at South Carolina (-7): Jake Bentley is a solid quarterback and South Carolina really isn’t a bad team, and they are coming across a Vanderbilt side that’s aching to turn things around after being run on by everybody since they were crushed by Alabama (and that includes a poor Ole Miss side). We fancy the Gamecocks to roll. PREDICTION: South Carolina by 14. 
  6. Missouri (-13) vs UConn: UConn’s secondary is despicable, giving up 373 passing yards per game. Missouri’s found a bit of faith in its offense, and there are prayers that the defense can actually hold the UConn offense, which is mediocre if not terrible. We think Drew Lock throws a bundle, and Missouri wins handily. PREDICTION: Missouri by 30.

It Just Means More: A Guide to Hating Every SEC Fanbase

The most important thing about the SEC is our passion. In other words: “We love our program, and therefore hate yours.” The hatred between teams is probably encapsulated best either in the Alabama – Auburn rivalry or the four days of carnage known as the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party featuring Florida and Georgia, in which there will no doubt be a lot of trash talk and fighting between fans.

So in this, we thought we’d give you a guide about what to hate about EVERY team’s fanbase in the SEC. Oh, and we hate CBS’ music, Brad Nessler (he’s from Minnesota) and Gary Danielson (I don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to throw a chair through the TV when he’s commentating), and every other conference in college football (and Notre Dame, the pious Catholic mother****ers). And don’t start us on Paul Finebaum…

JUST REMEMBER: IT JUST MEANS MORE. 

So here we go, in alphabetical order:

  1. Alabama: The fact that the houndstooth wearing, three-brained Bama brethren take everything as a ‘slight’ or ‘bulletin board material for the team’, when it’s probable that the team don’t read the media as much as they do. They don’t like sarcasm and they hate losing. So much so that they’ll poison your shrubbery, or scream that Saban should leave. They can’t work out what the best mascot is for a ‘Crimson Tide’, so they bring in a weird elephant with a terrible trunk,. They insist that their fans are really nice, but really they are super arrogant. Oh, and Finebaum’s an ostrich, with the only difference being that the ostrich buries his head in the sand, while Finebaum buries his head up Nick Saban’s ass. Oh, and the ‘Rammer Jammer’ thing is bad when they give your teams a beatdown. Which happens, often. How many Alabama fans actually went to Alabama, anyway?
  2. Arkansas: Southeastern Conference my ass. It’s a pain in the butt to get too (I really hate I-20 and I-22), and the fanbase can’t stop moaning about how much they hate Texas and or/Oklahoma. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED, people. The ‘Pig Sooiee’ chant is weird.
  3. Auburn: Is it ‘War Eagle’ or ‘War Tiger’? We never know. Like Alabama, they love their live mascot (the eagle) but they’ve got a furry mascot too (a person in a Tiger’s suit). Auburn fans think that their job is the best in the SEC (it’s really not). Oh, and then there’s the $Cam Newton thing, that we all felt in the SEC (it wasn’t just Alabama). If they beat you, they’ll throw toilet paper on the trees, which are coming back after the Harvey Updyke disgrace (sometimes the trees are more revered than the football team).
  4. Florida: Florida might be in the South, but they ain’t Southern. The whole ‘Gator Chomp’ thing is one of the most annoying things in college football, and they all wear jorts (jean shorts to the uneducated) to football games instead of dressing properly. Oh, and Steve Spurrier and Tim Tebow can screw off, too.
  5. Georgia: We hate guys woofing. It’s weird, and that’s what Georgia fans do all the time (calling it “Calling the Dawgs, while some might call it “Acting like an idiot”). They also piss and moan if they lose, and they are arrogant as hell if they win. UGA fans haven’t learned about the art of sportsmanship yet. Georgia’s arrogance is actually hilarious if you think that Missouri’s won more division titles than they have in recent years.
  6. Kentucky: Hey, just give them a horse race and be done with it. We know the real fact: Kentucky is a basketball school and in Lexington, all the fanbase talks about is ‘basketball season’. Which makes it all the funnier when they don’t make it to the Final Four. Look, we GET that Kentucky’s got a good history of the round ball, but they’ve also got a history of sucking in the SEC, which makes them embarrassing for us to watch.
  7. LSU: WE GET THE SUN’S GONE DOWN ON TIGER STADIUM. EVEN WHEN IT HASN’T. IT DOESN’T MAKE THE FANBASE SMELL LESS OF CORNDOGS. We’ve heard enough about night games at Death Valley (CBS usually steals the big ones for the 3.30 slot, so really they’re screwed there) to last a lifetime. Oh, and shut up about how great you are at tailgating. We’re all amazing at tailgating here in the SEC. That’s what we live for. And you ain’t French, either.
  8. Ole Miss: Blah blah blah, Oxford tailgate blah blah blah. It’s a cliche now, isn’t it? Oh, and Eli Manning went there? No s***. You’ve never mentioned it, Ole Miss fans. Or that his Dad went there. Or that Peyton should have gone there. And how the NCAA have it out for you. Listen, you knew Hugh Freeze was/is a pious dirtbag when you hired him (he had a reputation coming from high school, we hear), and he finally got what was coming to him. Oh, and the continued linking to a – shall we say – checkered – past is also weird and quite scary, too.
  9. Mississippi State: The Cowbells. Oh my God. The Cowbells. The loudest, most irritating sound in the SEC. You get headaches for weeks and months afterwards. The fans can’t stop talking about who’s the bigger cheater – them or Ole Miss. We don’t know, and we’re past caring. All we do know is: Shut the **** Up with those Cowbells.
  10. Missouri: In the same way as Florida really ain’t Southern, Missouri isn’t either. It’s Mid-West and should have stayed there. And those Missouri fans aren’t sarcastic, they are plain rude. Also, how dare they come into the East and win division titles.
  11. South Carolina: Please stop saying “Go Cocks”. It’s weird and embarrassing. And ‘Sandstorm’ is also one of the most terrible tracks ever known to man. It wasn’t written by an American either, but by a Finnish dude. Whereever the hell that Finland place is.
  12. Tennessee: Gaudy? Tasteless? We’re not describing the butt-chugging (they all deny it but we KNOW it’s true) that they are into in Knoxville. No, it’s the Orange. How does anyone want to wear that? Oh, and shut up about Peyton ****ing Manning, you three-toothed Hillbillies. Oh, and Philip Fulmer’s fat and he’s a snitch. And when UT ran him out of town, his replacements have been a horror show (The only time Lane Kiffin has ever shut up is when Nick Saban told him to). Which is funny, because Vols fans are now as mad as hell. As those weird hippie Pac-12 people say out West, when they aren’t taking LSD and talking about the damned Sixties? Karma.
  13. Texas A&M: HAVE  YOU MENTIONED THE 12TH MAN LATELY? PLEASE TELL US AGAIN. We are reminded that David Koresh went to Waco and not College Station. Had he wanted to get away with it all, all he would have had to do is don a Texas A&M shirt and chat to a dog and he would have been a welcomed part of the fanbase. Oh, and you’ve gotta start playing Texas again – mainly because you can’t stop singing about them, talking about them, and giving the ‘horns down’ at every opportunity. And yes, we get that Johnny Football was pretty good, too. Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?
  14. Vanderbilt: As this is the only private school on the list, Vandy people will talk to you but only with their nose in the air. Commodore fans simply don’t show up for football games, despite being in the heart of Nashville, one of the South’s greatest towns.

Week 3 SEC Preview: Vols-Gators, MSU-LSU

With the destruction of Hurricane Irma still lingering over the State of Florida, there will be a lot of positive sentiment flowing towards the Florida Gators in Week 3. Can they back it up with a good offensive performance against Tennessee?

The SEC Football Blog previews that game and all the others involving SEC teams in our Week 3 preview….

  1. No.23 Tennessee vs No.24 Florida (-5.5): From 2005 to 2016, Tennessee-Florida was hardly a rivalry. Florida won 11 in a row. Sure, 2014 and 2015 had been squeakers, but it just didn’t look as though UT would beat the Gators. Then 2016 happened, and Tennessee romped to a 10-point victory. Suddenly, after Florida fell apart against Michigan on Week 1 (sadly, it’s the last we saw of them because of Hurricane Irma), and Tennessee started the season 2-0, the questions are less about Butch Jones’ coaching ability and more about Jim McElwain’s. Yes, we know that Florida has an incredible defense, and – as Michigan found out – anything disastrous from Tennessee QB Quinten Dormady could result in a Pick-6. Tennessee showed that they can score AND come back from big deficits against Georgia Tech, and the Indiana State game was a predicted slaughter. WR Antonio Callaway and RB Jordan Scarlett will miss the game through suspension (as well as seven other depth players), which has been seen as a bonus. What we think gives Florida an edge is the fact that Florida has The Swamp behind it. With Florida mourning from Irma after the awful hit, the Gators will see it as a moment to fight for the State. And the Vols had better watch out. PREDICTION: Florida by 7.
  2. No. 12 LSU (-7) vs Mississippi State: There haven’t been a lot of teams who have made more impressive starts than LSU, who showed both youth and skill in a lot of places. But as they showed for the last 3 years (including a win with Dak Prescott in Tiger Stadium), this team under Dan Mullen isn’t going to lie down and let LSU give them a geaux-ing over. Last week Nick Fitzgerald and Mississippi State was very impressive in smashing La. Tech on a road 57-21 in a game many thought could cause the Bulldogs a lot more headaches than actually happened. Fitzgerald could cause this Tiger secondary – who calls itself ‘DBU’ – a lot of problems, and so could Aeris Williams, who’s averaging 7.6 yards per carry this season. So could running backs Jefferey Simmons and Montez Sweat on the other side of the ball. For LSU, Arden Key, LSU’s best pass rusher and future NFL first round pick, is back after injury but Coach O has said that he’s not confident he’ll play the whole game. One of the most interesting factors will be how LSU Derrius Guice deals with a firmer defense than he’s played for the last two games. Guice hasn’t exactly exploded out of the gates so far this year, averaging just 5.3 yards per play on 45 carries. This game could be one of the best SEC games of the year. And one thing’s for certain, we’ll hear a few bells ringing. PREDICTION: LSU by 10 in a game a hell of a lot closer than that until the final few minutes. 
  3. Kentucky at South Carolina (-6.5): Of all the SEC teams, we’ll throw it out there and say South Carolina’s had the most testing of schedules. The NC State game wasn’t easy, going into Missouri wasn’t (meant to be) easy, and now Kentucky, who some people talking about as a vastly improving team, come into Columbia for the Gamecocks’ first game of the season. That ain’t easy. But South Carolina’s 2-0, they dismantled a very good offense in Missouri spectacularly easily, and Jake Bentley’s looking like one of the SEC’s top quarterbacks. As for Kentucky, they are 2-0 but haven’t convinced anybody. I like Carolina, and I like Carolina a lot. PREDICTION: South Carolina by 14, smashing the spread.
  4. Ole Miss (-3.5 to 4) vs Cal: If any of these two teams’ defenses have been anything to go by in the last two weeks, then this game should be awesome. Cal gives up 505.5 pts per game, while Ole Miss gives up around 354. Both sides have given up 6 touchdowns this year to pretty terrible opponents. And it’s a 10.30 ET game, and it could be the most spectacularly high-scoring of the night, with the good money on the over/under of 72.5 getting blown out like the marijuana smoke from them Hippies’ lungs up there.  Even Ole Miss’ fan website haven’t a clue about what will happen. That’s what will make it so damned fun. PREDICTION: Ole Miss in a high-scoring crazy one, winning by 10 in a late-night classic (for the record, I think Ole Miss by 10 might be conservative).  
  5. No.18 Kansas State (-4) vs Vanderbilt: Bill Snyder’s team of veterans come into Nashville as a 4-point favorite, and we’re pretty excited about this one, as it could be under-the-radar. Derek Mason’s given this team a lot of hope this year, despite not playing anybody and going 2-0. Kansas State hasn’t played either, so it’ll be interesting. PREDICTION: Vanderbilt wins in the upset. 
  6. Purdue vs Missouri (-7): Things have gotten so bad at Missouri that the Tigers fired their defensive coordinator after just two games into 2017 (If we’re honest, he should have gone after the 2016 debacle, but that’s another story). After their horrific all-around performance against South Carolina (and Purdue’s ‘lucky getaway’ loss against Missouri (it could have been a lot more), there are thoughts that Missouri could be better. Vegas doesn’t seem to think so, making the Tigers only 7 point favorites. If Barry Odom loses this one, prepare for the seat to be set to boiling. PREDICTION: Missouri wins by 14, but no-one’s satisfied.
  7. ULL vs Texas A&M (-24): The world is expecting Texas A&M to rout ULL after they were dropped 66-42 by Tulsa last Saturday, and we’re expecting it too. But to do this, A&M desperately needs an offense. Kevin Sumlin’s still struggling about who will be the QB – Jake Hubenak or Kellen Mond, and the defense is simply struggling. Traeyvon Williams and Keith Ford should keep running the ball down the Ragin Cajuns’ throat all night long, as the Aggies seek a big blow-out victory. PREDICTION: Aggies by 30.
  8. Colorado State vs Alabama (-28.5): Nick Saban seems to believe in the Rams, called Mike Bobo’s team a “really good football team”. Vegas doesn’t seem to, believing the Crimson Tide will win by over four touchdowns. To be fair on Colorado State, a lot of Rams fans believe that they should have had the upset over Colorado in the ‘Weed Bowl’ after blowing out Oregon State in Week 1. The name Crimson Tide fans have got to look for is WR Michael Gallup, who’s a big NFL prospect. We look forward to the Gallup vs Fitzpatrick battle in the secondary…..if QB Nick Stevens is given any time to throw! PREDICTION: Alabama rolls by 31, but it’s a lot easier than that.
  9. Mercer vs No.15 Auburn: After not getting into the end-zone against a beastly Clemson defense, the fanbase will be looking for the Tigers to run up the score against Mercer’s defense who is yet to play a quality opponent. This is their time. PREDICTION: Auburn by 45, leaving Auburn fans a little happier. 
  10. Samford vs Georgia: There’s a lot of excitement about Georgia QB Jake Fromm after the Bulldogs came out of Notre Dame with a 20-19 victory, and Bulldogs fans will look for the $1m game (well, Samford’s getting paid $1m to get the butts in Athens in front of next-to-nobody) to show that the offense can really, really click. Look for less about Fromm and more about Nick Chubb and Sony Michel running riot. PREDICTION: Georgia by 50. At least.

Oh, and we’re not usually the kind to give some out-of-conference betting tips, but we would urge you to stay the heck away from Clemson (-3)-Louisville, but WOULD encourage you to take USC as a 16.5 point favorite against Texas. We saw Texas in Austin on Saturday, and we can safely say that Texas is horrible. 

(A Very Fast) Week 10 SEC Preview

After the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, this blogger feels like he’s been writing, drinking and tweeting all week long, so apologies if this SEC Week 10 preview is shorter than usual.

So in order for you to read this (quickly), here’s a line on what we think will happen in each of the SEC games this week, which is – as usual – in order of importance.

  1. No.1 Alabama at No. 13 LSU — Alabama will do the same as they did last year and block off Leonard Fournette and Derrius Guise, and force LSU to throw. LSU’s QB Danny Etling really isn’t very good. Sure, LSU’s ‘D’ athletic enough to keep this close, but we still think Alabama wins this by 10. It’ll definitely be fun in Baton Rouge though!
  2. No.4 Texas A&M at Mississippi State – This is only this high because Texas A&M’s in the College Football Play-Off, and suddenly everyone will be watching for this game to be a potential pigskin. Don’t worry Aggies fans….it won’t. Texas A&M by 28, and Dan Mullen’s seat gets hotter.
  3. No.11 Florida at Arkansas  – This is the first part of the CBS doubleheader, so if you hate Verne and Gary, the 3.30’s the one to watch. But if you don’t want to watch an ugly game, we’d advise staying away. Florida will probably win by 6 in a lackluster game, and edge ever closer to another visit to Atlanta.
  4. Georgia at Kentucky – Kentucky’s still in with a shout of the SEC East. Georgia is not. If Georgia loses to UK for the first time since 2009, the cries of Dawgs yelling: “Did we pick the right coach?” will get ever louder. We think Georgia will win this won by 7 in probably the second-most entertaining game of the week. Pity it’s on the same time as LSU vs Alabama. Not even the Kentucky and Georgia fans wanted that to be the case…
  5. Missouri vs South Carolina – Two weeks’ ago, this would have been a battle for the SEC’s worst teams, but Misssissippi State and Missouri are claiming the spots for their very own- particularly after USC upset Tennessee last week. This game is going to be incredibly poor in standard. South Carolina to win by 10. Maybe 13-3. 
  6. Vanderbilt at No.9 Auburn – We’ve got this lower than a number of other games because we think a born-again Auburn’s going to win this in a hurry. Tigers by 28. 
  7. Georgia Southern vs Ole Miss – Ole Miss destroys their second Georgia-based team of the season by 40.
  8. Tennessee Tech vs Tennessee – Tennessee hosts their 2-5 rivals. I didn’t know they were called the Golden Eagles, or were called Cookeville, TN home. I do know that Neyland Stadium’s probably going to be 2/3 full – if that – for this one, and the Vols should win by 48.

Ole Miss, Oh Damn…..Week 3 ratings

Did Hugh Freeze’s prayers to The Man Upstairs make any difference against Alabama? Well, at the start he must have thought that the Big H was going to deliver him and the Ole Miss faithful their third straight victory against Satan’s Tide when the Rebs took a 24-3 lead…..and then they choked. Choked. Choked all the way to a 48-43 lead.

Elsewhere, Leonard Fournette didn’t look like a Heisman contender, Missouri broke its fans’ hearts by losing 28-27 at home to Georgia, the knives are coming out for Gus Malzahn, and Kentucky were taken to task by New Mexico State until the end. Oh, and Florida, Tennessee and Arkansas did what they had to do against poor opposition, although Tennessee’s victory was certainly the least impressive. And to the Commodores: That was quite a beating by Georgia Tech, wasn’t it?

So here are your rankings from 1-14 of SEC Teams after Week 3:

  1. Alabama (3-0): Everyone scored touchdowns. Fat guys, thin guys, special teams guys……The Crimson Tide weren’t great, but they are the pick of the SEC.
  2. Arkansas (3-0): Bret Bielema’s got the Razorbacks playing. They did what they should have done against a poor team.
  3. Texas A&M (3-0): I’m getting increasingly excited by this Aggies team. The defense is good, and the wide receivers are baddass…as proved in the win over Auburn.
  4. Florida (3-0): Not saying a lot after playing three pretty poor teams, but the Gators are the pick for SEC East (in that we think they are better than Tennessee and far, far better than Georgia).
  5. Tennessee (3-0): At some point either the Vols will get better or they’ll play a team who’s on their talent level…and get crucified. I’m sorry, the whole “This Tennessee team’s really goin’ slow” B.S. getting trotted out at the moment isn’t for me. Tennessee have so far underwhelmed. And I include the win at Bristol.
  6. Ole Miss (1-2): If they played crappy opposition, Ole Miss would be 3-0. FSU and Alabama was always going to be tough, but the Rebs seem to be great at delivering their fans heartbreak week after week. And Chad Kelly’s the Second Coming of Bo Wallace, in the way that he happy dovetails dumb throw and good throw in equal measure. This is a pretty good team though – as Georgia will find out next week.
  7. LSU (2-1): How could such a talented team underperform so badly? When it’s LSU, of course! Leonard Fournette coughed up two fumbles (one recovered), and really didn’t look great in the second half. Danny Etling has good moments but wasn’t great, and LSU let Mississippi State come back to a point they nearly won. Unbelievable. I’m beginning to understand why the fans want Les Miles out….
  8. Georgia (3-0): This is the worst 3-0 in the SEC, and maybe the country. Should have lost to Nicholls last week and mildly avoided the loss against Missouri, who controlled the game. Nick Chubb will not win the Heisman, and that’s less about Louisville Superman Lamar Jackson and more about the Dawgs offensive line.
  9. Auburn (1-2): Great defensive line, no offense. And when the offense stalls, the defense gets tired, and the rest is the ‘L’, which Texas A&M gave them in Jordan-Hare. The LSU/Auburn game will not be for the neutrals (unless they have to go as part of a rehab stint).
  10. Missouri (1-2): Actually, should be 2-1 after today’s game. Crushing loss but some points coming out of it.
  11. Mississippi State (1-2): This isn’t a good side, and should have been shelled by LSU. But they hung on there, and had the chance to tie, if not win.
  12. South Carolina (2-1): Beat those people predicting the upset for East Carolina, something that must have Will Muschamp smiling, but the Gamecocks still aren’t a great team.
  13. Kentucky (1-2): Scored 62 on………………….New Mexico State. Conceded 42 against………….New Mexico State. Well, at least non-SEC UK games are entertaining. Or at least will be until the Louisville game, where they’ll get killed.
  14. Vanderbilt (1-2): Sorry, Vandy’s not going to win a SEC game this year.

The SEC would love to have Week 1 back

Right, we here at the SEC would like to have Week 1 back.

Sure, some of the schools are 1-0 and some are not, but none of our teams were particularly great, and some of them – even in victory – couldn’t seem to get their collective asses off the ground.

Anyway, here’s ranking how every team in the conference did this week, in order of performance:

  1. Alabama (win vs USC)- The Alabama fans were ready to lynch Lane Kiffin, right until the USC QB threw a pick-6 and the Crimson Tide to shreds. It wasn’t a complete performance, but if this was considered as a bad performance after Week One, then the rest of college football is in trouble. Oh, and this Hurts kid looks good, people….
  2. Texas A&M (win vs UCLA) – The wide receivers are good, and the defense – especially that Myles Garrett kid – are great. But they HAVE to play for four quarters. Listen, they were lucky – UCLA had so many chances to win this game even before free football – but wins are wins.
  3. Georgia (win vs North Carolina)- Nick Chubb’s pretty damned good, y’all. Which is good, because the defense isn’t that great. And Kirby Smart hasn’t worked out who’s the good quarterback – the veteran with a pea-arm, or the kid with the cannon. We’ll go with the cannon, but maybe that’s just us.
  4. Auburn (loss vs Clemson) – Look, I thought the Tigers would get shellacked at home to Clemson, but boy, was I wrong. The Tigers SHOULD have done more offensively, but Gus Malzahn doesn’t seem to have a clue as to who his starting quarterback should be. In our view, it definitely shouldn’t be Sean White. He sucks. But the defensive line? Wow.
  5. South Carolina (win vs Vanderbilt) – HEY. WE DIDN’T EXPECT MUSCHAMP TO GET A WIN HERE.
  6. Ole Miss (loss vs Florida State) – Well, the first half looked great, didn’t it? The rest of it – not so pretty. Chad Kelly went from Heisman to Fliesman in the space of a half. Or Florida State simply made the sort of adjustments that should make everyone else very, very afraid.
  7. Florida (win vs UMass) – When the best moment of the game was Steve Spurrier doing the Usain Bolt before the game and Steve Spurrier’s interview with the SEC Network during the game, you know what’s happening on the game stank like a swamp
  8. Missouri (loss vs West Virginia)  – This team isn’t going to be very good this year, but the offense actually looked like it could move a little. That’s why the Tigers tripled their entire 2015 scoring total in one game this year.
  9. Arkansas (ONE-POINT win vs Louisiana Tech) – Should have lost this game, but didn’t. What will happen against a TCU game that should have lost to South Dakota State this week? Probably the shoot-out of the century.
  10. Vanderbilt (loss vs South Carolina) – The reason why it’s not higher? Vandy’s best chance to win a SEC game this season was in Week One against an ordinary South Carolina team. And they blew it.
  11. Kentucky (loss vs Southern Miss) – Dazzling in first half, played like they were blind in the second half. Only had under 15 plays in the second half as Southern Miss destroyed them on both sides of the ball. And you know what? What we say is true. We watched it. It wasn’t even funny.
  12. Tennessee (win vs Appalachian State) – The Volunteers got very, very lucky. They should have ‘done a Michigan’ and lost on Thursday night. But they didn’t, and they are 1-0. It’ll be interesting to see if Butch Jones can turn it around against Florida. He’ll need to.
  13. LSU (loss vs Wisconsin) – We loved Les Miles so much that we hoped and prayed he’d stay in Baton Rouge for another season. We hated Cam Cameron last year and the year before. Miles should have fired Cameron, and didn’t. In fact, this Spring he actually RE-UPPED Cameron’s contract for another three years where he’ll get paid around $1.2 million per year. He took a pay-cut of $300,000, but he shouldn’t have had it renewed in the first place. And the result? Brandon Harris is STILL the starting quarterback at LSU, despite sucking ass yet again.
  14. Mississippi State (loss vs South Alabama) – This isn’t about a 5-star player getting banned for beating the crap out of a woman during the off-season. This is about a coach who has made it clear he doesn’t care about life in Starkville….so much so that he interviewed for other jobs. Recruits aren’t going to care as this happens, are they? Oh, and Dak Prescott’s left.

Quick SEC Preview: The Players To Watch

The quick SEC Preview with the SEC Players to Watch (and we’re also going for the Top 10 outside the conference too).

SEC PLAYERS

  1. Leonard Fournette (LSU) – The best running back in college football? Stopped against Alabama last season, but put a struggling offence on his back and was phenomenal all season long. Can’t wait for how things will be this year.
  2. Nick Chubb (Georgia) – IF Chubb’s not injured, this is one of the most dangerous running backs in the SEC. Apparently he’s ready for the opener against North Carolina. We just heard a big gulp from UNC fans. 
  3. Myles Garrett (Texas A&M) – Unblockable. 11-1/2 sacks last year and 59 tackles.
  4. Josh Dobbs (Tennessee) – He’s a frightening dual-threat quarterback who progressed in leaps and bounds last season. He scared the hell out of Alabama, and if Tennessee succeeds this year, then Dobbs will be the King of Neyland.
  5. Calvin Ridley (Alabama) – The best wide receiver in the SEC. Period.
  6. Josh Reynolds (Texas A&M) – The second best wide receiver in the SEC, despite not getting the noise that Ridley got.
  7. Chad Kelly (Ole Miss) – Flourished under Hugh Freeze’s gameplans. Can’t wait for him to do the same this year.
  8. Christian Kirk (Texas A&M) – Game-changing punt returner, and if he’s given a chance to be open at receiver, he’ll punish teams.
  9. OJ Howard (Alabama) – Because he’s the best tight end in college football and he’s going to be big-time in the NFL, too.
  10. Jalen Tabor (Florida) – A really, really good cornerback. I kinda love the fact he got suspended for getting in a fight with his own teammate.

NON-SEC PLAYERS

  1. Christian McCaffery (Stanford) – Hey, we love the SEC and we still think McCaffery was screwed out of a Heisman last year. He’s incredible.
  2. DeShaun Watson (Clemson) – Took on Alabama on his own in the National Championship Game and nearly won. He’s the best quarterback in college football.
  3. Jabrill Peppers (Michigan) – We don’t like Michigan, but Peppers is incredible. He can do anything on that defensive line, and do it really, really well. A sneaky Heisman contender (if they ever give it to defensive people).
  4. J.T. Barrett (Ohio State) – Barrett’s now got the team to himself, and should thrive. The problem for him? Most of the Buckeyes he inherits were tackling bags for the really, really good dudes recruited by Urban Meyer who went to the NFL.
  5. Josh Rosen (UCLA) – Because anyone who lives in a frat house and puts a pool in his apartment deserves a heck of a lot of credit. This guy should not remain single in college.
  6. Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma) – He’s like a dwarf with an unstoppable battery. He just never gives up. Which makes him (secretly) awesome.
  7. Saquon Barkley (Penn State) – You’re probably thinking: “Who in the hell is this and why are you talking about him?” But we think he’s the most under-the-radar talent in college football to date. He’s an ace running back with the speed of a cheetah. His only problem? A piss-poor offensive line.
  8. KD Cannon (Baylor) – The kid can absolutely fly, people. A really exciting talent.
  9. Adoree Jackson (USC) – A really, really good defensive back. Can’t wait to see him go head-to-head with Ridley in JerryWorld in the first game of the season.

The quick SEC preview: How they’ll finish

We have a job outside of the SEC Blog now, so we haven’t been able to write up a preview for each team. And going by how many of you read our previews, it’s probably a good idea we’re going to discontinue the practice.

HOWEVER, we’re going with a quick SEC preview. We’ll order the teams in the conference and tell you why they are in that order. Some might surprise you, while others you might agree with. Maybe.

SEC WEST

1. Alabama – Going to beat LSU in a super-close game, smash Ole Miss this time, and squeak by Tennessee. Go to the College Football Play-Off

2. LSU – Actually could go to the CFB Play-Off too, even without winning the division. The only loss? Alabama. Again. Which means Les Miles is back on the hot seat.

3. Texas A&M – Trevor Knight’s a steady quarterback, the defense – led by Myles Garrett – could be ‘under-the-radar’ good, and the wide receivers…oh, the wide receivers….

4. Ole Miss – Going to feel the losses of Laquon, Laremy and Robert. The off-the-field stuff doesn’t help morale either – despite the amount Hugh Freeze will rabbit on about controlling what you can control.

5. Arkansas – I’m not hugely in love with a team that’s having to replace its starting QB AND its best running back.

6. Auburn – News that Sean White taking the job as starting quarterback doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. There will be flying tomatoes if he sucks, folks.

7. Mississippi State – Dan Mullen wants to be somewhere else, and the team knows it. That won’t play through nicely, and this might be the year it shows. Plus, Dak Prescott’s not with the team anymore, which is going to hurt.

SEC EAST

  1. Tennessee – This was a toss-up between the Vols and Georgia, but I’m going UT because of the talent at wide receiver, and the fact that UGA has a first-time coach. Battles with Tennessee, Florida and Alabama don’t make the schedule pretty.
  2. Georgia – If Nick Chubb and Sony Michel can start and stay healthy, this could be a dangerous team. And if Jacob Eason’s good, a VERY dangerous team. The revenge game against Tennessee will be a blast.
  3. Florida – The SEC (on the top of it) is interchangeable, it seems, so we’ll see how it works out. Spurrier coming is a guru could make things exciting in The Swamp. The team just has to stay out of jail.
  4. Missouri – The defence is gonna be good, folks, and the offence can’t get any worse, can it?
  5. Kentucky – Because Mark Stoops is doing some good things with the Wildcats. This won’t be a great team, though.
  6. Vanderbilt – I really, really like this defence. The offense? Notsomuch.
  7. South Carolina – This team will be a trainwreck for at least a year. Look for the scorching by Clemson to get tongues wagging in the Palmetto State over whether Will Muschamp was the right man for the damned job in the first place.

SEC Championship Game

Alabama drills Tennessee because Nick Saban didn’t like the fact that the game was so close at Neyland Stadiun and Lane Kiffin’s tired of UT fans giving him shit, so he runs up the score a little. Bo Scarborough runs wild, and books himself into the Heisman conversation.

Spring Game Round-Up: Florida, Auburn, South Carolina

The round-up from the first two Spring Games in the SEC are this: Florida and South Carolina seem to have their starting quarterbacks in place, and Auburn doesn’t.

GATORS CHOMPING WITH DEL RIO

Florida fans are suddenly excited that in the post-Grier and (thankfully) post-Harris world, they suddenly looked as they have a starter for 2017: Luke Del Rio. And while Del Rio is hardly a new face in college football – he walked on at Alabama, transferred to Oregon State, then transferred to Florida in 2014, where he sat out a year. He’s now a graduate, and suddenly the face of Gators football. Del Rio went 10-11 for 176 yards and 2 TDs. Sure, the defense wasn’t exactly vintage Florida, but it still made the fans in The Swamp smile.

Also making fans smile is that the Gators seem to have a good ‘un in Kyle Trask, too. The three-star freshman threw for 74 yards and looked comfortable.

NOT making fans smile was Feliepe Franks, who was much-heralded after his decision to spurn LSU to come to Gainseville. Now, it’s a bit early to start discussing transfer papers with the kid, but the fanbase was hardly in adoration of his three interception effort. That puts him at the back of the line.

AUBURN NEEDS AN OFFENSE

Listen, we know that Auburn’s got talent….on the defensive side of the ball. Bruce Feldman on the Fox Sports College Football Podcast (which is awesome, by the way), said that Auburn’s defensive front three –  led by Carl Lawson – is among the best in the nation.

But offensively, they are a struggle.

At Auburn’s A-Day it was pointed out that neither Jeremy Johnson, Sean White or new arrival Jonathan Franklin separated themselves in the scrimmage. “I’m not concerned about nobody separating themselves on a day like this,” Malzahn said in a press conference. Which might be good for Gus, but not good for Tigers fans, who – the Montgomery Advertiser noted – saw the offense have NINE three-and-outs.

Some of that was blamed at the fact that quarterbacks couldn’t be tackled, meaning that Franklin couldn’t show his considerable speed outside of the pocket. The non-tackle rule on quarterbacks also annoyed many at Oklahoma, who watched former Texas A&M QB Kyler Murray drop jaws during the Spring Game. We also think that they were disgruntled because Murray’s not going to be eligible to play until 2017, either.

SOUTH CAROLINA’S EXCITED ABOUT THEIR FRESHMEN

South Carolina fans are pretty excited about their freshmen offensive players. Quarterback Brandon McIlwain lit up the Garnet and Black Game in Columbia, throwing for 169 yards and 2 TDs. What’s also got to excite new coach Will Muschamp and Carolina fans about McIlwain – who recruited as the second-best dual-threat quarterback, according to 24-7Sports, is the fact that there were no interceptions. Devin Dingle had over 70 yards receiving on just two receptions. Bryan Edwards had two touchdowns. Suddenly, Carolina’s looking good on that side of the ball, right?

Defensively, we don’t know much about this team. We know that they were awful in 2015 at stopping people – and was the offensive contribution due to that? The writers think not. David at Garnet & Black Attack said the Defensive Line actually gives him hope for the first time in years.

The one thing we missed was Steve Spurrier, who was probably watching golf at Augusta.

 

Atmosphere “horrible” in South Carolina coach chase

A South Carolina source close to the SEC Football Blog said that the atmosphere in Columbia has “been horrible” around the school’s coaching search. S

South Carolina’s top target was Houston head coach Tom Herman, but a big pay rise has meant he will stay in place. They also wanted Georgia defensive co-ordinator Jeremy Pruitt, although some boosters are unsure about him thanks to his adventures with the Bulldogs coaching staff, where he apparently caused a lot of disharmony.

The chase for the South Carolina head coach job hotted up on Friday as rumors began to swirl that Auburn defensive co-ordinator Will Muschamp was close to being appointed to the role.

Muschamp is reported to be supported by former head coach Steve Spurrier, who – according to the report from SB Nation – has “recommended Muschamp to South Carolina athletic director Ray Tanner and has assisted Muschamp’s efforts to contact coaches affiliated with the Gamecock program, as well as key boosters.

The source did not understand the school’s move.

SI.com has also reported USF head coach Willie Taggart has interviewed for the job. Taggart will be a great offensive selection – his Bulls side winning six out of the last seven games after starting the season 1-3, and have put up 44 and 65 points in the last two games – the former on Temple’s defense, which was meant to be pretty vaunted.

Also interviewed was Cal head coach Sonny Dykes, who led Cal to a bowl game this year. He’s also credited with the excellent quarterbacking of Jared Goff, who is thought by many to be the No.1 QB taken in the 2016 NFL Draft.

Mississippi State head coach Dan Mullen has interviewed for the job – as has interim head coach Shawn Elliott, who took over from Spurrier after the Head Ball Coach resigned mid-season. Fox Sports has said Arizona head coach Rich Rodriguez is expected to interview, as is Greg Schiano and Oklahoma head coach Lincoln Riley.

 

 

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