Archive for October, 2015

EVERY TEAM’s 2016 SEC Schedule…

Team-by-team schedules for you for 2016. The opening games look particularly great….


Sept. 3 Southern Cal (Arlington)


Sept. 17 at Ole Miss



Oct. 8 at Arkansas

Oct. 15 at Tennessee

Oct. 22 TEXAS A&M

Oct. 29 Open date

Nov. 5 at LSU



Nov. 26 AUBURN



Sept. 10 at TCU


Sept. 24 Texas A&M (Arlington)

Oct. 1 ALCORN STATE (Little Rock)


Oct. 15 OLE MISS

Oct. 22 at Auburn

Oct. 29 Open date


Nov. 12 LSU

Nov. 19 at Mississippi State

Nov. 26 at Missouri




Sept. 17 TEXAS A&M

Sept. 24 LSU


Oct. 8 at Mississippi State

Oct. 15 Open date


Oct. 29 at Ole Miss


Nov. 12 at Georgia


Nov. 26 at Alabama


Sept. 3 UMASS



Sept. 24 at Tennessee

Oct. 1 at Vanderbilt

Oct. 8 LSU


Oct. 22 Open date

Oct. 29 Georgia (Jacksonville)

Nov. 5 at Arkansas



Nov. 26 at Florida State


Sept. 3 North Carolina (Atlanta)


Sept. 17 at Missouri

Sept. 24 at Ole Miss


Oct. 8 at South Carolina


Oct. 22 Open date

Oct. 29 Florida (Jacksonville)

Nov. 5 at Kentucky

Nov. 12 AUBURN





Sept. 10 at Florida



Oct. 1 at Alabama


Oct. 15 Open date


Oct. 29 at Missouri


Nov. 12 at Tennessee


Nov. 26 at Louisville


Sept. 3 Wisconsin (Green Bay)



Sept. 24 at Auburn


Oct. 8 at Florida


Oct. 22 OLE MISS

Oct. 29 Open date


Nov. 12 at Arkansas


Nov. 24 (Thu.) at Texas A&M


Sept. 5 (Mon.) Florida State (Orlando)

Sept. 10 WOFFORD

Sept. 17 ALABAMA

Sept. 24 GEORGIA


Oct. 8 Open date

Oct. 15 at Arkansas

Oct. 22 at LSU

Oct. 29 AUBURN


Nov. 12 at Texas A&M

Nov. 19 at Vanderbilt





Sept. 17 at LSU

Sept. 24 at UMass

Oct. 1 Open date


Oct. 15 at BYU

Oct. 22 at Kentucky


Nov. 5 TEXAS A&M

Nov. 12 at Alabama


Nov. 26 at Ole Miss


Sept. 3 at West Virginia


Sept. 17 GEORGIA


Oct. 1 at LSU

Oct. 8 Open date

Oct. 15 at Florida



Nov. 5 at South Carolina


Nov. 19 at Tennessee



Sept. 1 (Thu.) at Vanderbilt

Sept. 10 at Mississippi State


Sept. 24 at Kentucky

Oct. 1 TEXAS A&M


Oct. 15 Open date

Oct. 22 UMASS



Nov. 12 at Florida


Nov. 26 at Clemson



Sept. 10 Virginia Tech (Bristol)

Sept. 17 OHIO

Sept. 24 FLORIDA

Oct. 1 at Georgia

Oct. 8 at Texas A&M


Oct. 22 Open date

Oct. 29 at South Carolina




Nov. 26 at Vanderbilt


Sept. 3 UCLA


Sept. 17 at Auburn

Sept. 24 Arkansas (Arlington)

Oct. 1 at South Carolina


Oct. 15 Open date

Oct. 22 at Alabama


Nov. 5 at Mississippi State

Nov. 12 OLE MISS


Nov. 24 (Thu.) LSU




Sept. 17 at Georgia Tech

Sept. 24 at Western Kentucky


Oct. 8 at Kentucky

Oct. 15 at Georgia


Oct. 29 Open date

Nov. 5 at Auburn

Nov. 12 at Missouri

Nov. 19 OLE MISS


Who wins the Cocktail Party? Week 9 SEC Preview

After last week, Alabama (the best of the SEC) and Missouri (the worst) are both off, making our weekend decidedly less interesting. The weekend would have been pretty incredible, what with the drinking and carrying on that goes on all the way from Athens and Gainseville to Jacksonville this weekend as the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party rolls into town, but Georgia’s nothing without Nick Chubb and Florida’s not unbeaten anymore. Seriously, does this showdown – which virtually ensures the bragging rights and the SEC East title – mean that much, bearing in mind how goddawful the East really is?

Anyway, enough of my grumpiness. Here are your SEC predictions, and rankings, in order of importance…

  1. Florida vs Georgia (Jacksonville)

Everything to me points to Georgia losing by a double-digit margin, bearing in mind that Nick Chubb’s done for the year, and Grayson Lambert’s really not a good quarterback. Everyone thought Florida wouldn’t be the same after Will Grier got banned for a year for drugs, but Treon Harris was perfectly serviceable against LSU. And Florida’s defense – despite their showing in Baton Rouge – is going to do a lot better against a far lesser offensive juggernaut.

PREDICTION: Florida’s only a 2-point favorite with Vegas. We’ll take Florida by 10.

2. Ole Miss at Auburn

This was one of the games of the SEC West before the season started….and then Auburn imploded. Anyway, Auburn’s looking better offensively, but defensively, it’s a horror show. Which should be exploited by Chad Kelly and Laquon Treadwell. Defensively, Ole Miss is still missing Tony Connor, but the return of Robert Nkemdiche should continue to revitalize this D, which only gave up 3 points to Texas A&M in a game which involved SEVEN turnovers.

PREDICTION: Ole Miss is a 7.5 point favourite. Let’s take Ole Miss to win by 7 in a shoot-out.

3. Vanderbilt at Houston

It’s strange to have Vandy up on this list for interesting games, but actually, it’s interesting because Houston’s is a real challenger to make a BCS Bowl (or whatever it’s called now), and Vandy’s defense is playing very stoutly. We’re not sure that the offense have got the cajones to keep up with Houston’s, but we know the ‘D’ can certainly slow Tom Herman’s freight train down.

PREDICTION: Houston’s a 12-point favorite. We’ll take Houston by 14, but only after a battle.  

4. Tennessee at Kentucky 

After the Vols’ heartbreaker against Alabama last week, it’ll be interesting to see how they rebound at home to a Kentucky team coming off losing by 32 on the road at Mississippi State. The great thing about this game might be the atmosphere at Commonwealth Stadium, which is going to be off-the-hook.

PREDICTION: Tennessee a 9-point favorite? Really? I’m taking Kentucky to at least cover that. 

5. South Carolina at Texas A&M

Texas A&M’s calling a ‘black out’ for the game, which should means that this game – which will be awful one the eye and very one-sided – should at least be fun for five minutes. We haven’t a clue who the quarterback will be (Kyle Allen, Kyler Murray or A.N. Other) , although the tip is that it’s going to be Murray, now Allen’s got the Everett-Golson-at-Notre-Dame-2014 disease. As for South Carolina? They are just trying to find life after Spurrier.

PREDICTION: Texas A&M’s a 16-1/2 point favorite. We’ll take the Aggies by 21. 

6. Tennessee-Martin vs Arkansas 



Missouri’s the worst team in the SEC: Week 8 rankings

OK, so I’m still trying to work out who the worst team in the conference (Missouri, South Carolina or Vanderbilt). I know one thing for certain: Missouri’s got the worst offense (and one of the best defenses). South Carolina got a win after Spurrier left, but they are still awful. And Vanderbilt is still….Vanderbilt. And that’s despite beating Missouri. Jeez, it’s difficult. Anyway, I took some smelling salts (sold to me by Maty Mauk) and came up with the answers….

After a lay-off of rankings last week, here’s our rankings after Week 8:

  1. Alabama (1): Derrick Henry will be a Heisman candidate. If it wasn’t for him – and some horrific Tennessee field goal kicking – this game against Tennessee could have quite easily been lost. Cigars for the team, but no cigars for the performance.
  2. LSU (2): We still love Leonard Fournette, and this offense is improving. We will see what happens against Alabama, but it’s looking like Cam Cameron actually has an offensive idea that’s not “Give the ball to The Destructor”.
  3. Florida (3): Goes to three after beating bye week.
  4. Ole Miss (5): The defense was great against Ole Miss, only conceding three points and harrying Kyle Allen all night long. A good win for the Rebels, who keep the SEC West in their own hands.
  5. Texas A&M (3): Kyle Allen is looking like 2014 Everett Golsons. That’s not a compliment. A lot of people are crying out for Mr Spavital’s job. Weird, because two weeks ago, we could have sworn that the Aggies looked great.
  6. Mississippi State (6): Dak Prescott and the Mississippi State offense is starting to tick – see as they dropped 42 points on Kentucky on the weekend..
  7. Arkansas (7): Won a huge fourth quarter game against Auburn. Why huge? The Hogs should make a bowl game from here.
  8. Tennessee (8): SHOULD have beaten Alabama. If the secondary wasn’t so poor in the fourth quarter and the kicking game wasn’t so poor all game long, they would be the ones celebrating the biggest upset of Week 8.
  9. Georgia (9): How does it feel when good miracles happen to a hated rival, Georgia? See Georgia Tech for details.
  10. Auburn (10): Win over Kentucky made this team close-ish to being bowl eligible…the four-overtime loss to Arkansas means that they probably won’t make it.
  11. Kentucky (10): Yeah, so getting blown out at Mississippi State isn’t a good look.
  12. South Carolina (14): South Carolina might have lost to Missouri, but they are a better team now the Head Ball Coach is playing 400 rounds of golf a day. 
  13. Vanderbilt (13): HUGE win over Missouri ensures that the Commodores won’t get the 0-fer in conference play. Defense is looking better and better, too.
  14. Missouri (13): As was well said on the “Mizzodcast”, the Tigers could well be unbeaten if the team could find an offense. But the offensive line could rival Penn State for its awfulness. Everything’s going wrong in Columbia. And it went further wrong losing to Vanderbilt, too.


Can Ole Miss turn things around? Week 7 SEC Preview

I’d like to point out that this week the college football schedule is about as much fun as the time when you got ball-tapped by your “humorous” frat boy buddy for the 19th time. Or when Grandpa from Kansas City invited you over to watch the Missouri vs Georgia game because it would be a ‘fun guy thing’, and  you couldn’t say: “I really want to ****ing leave” at half-time, because it would rude and disrespectful (little did you know that he was actually wishing you would go home, so he change the channel, but he felt guilty for doing that, since he invited you over. The Scenario Ending? You both felt like pieces of crap. Well, at least Grandpa had beer. It made things just a little more bearable…

Anyway, here’s our game previews for Week 7’s SEC slate, ranked in importance.

  1. Texas A&M at Ole Miss: We’re all waiting to see if Kyle Allen ups his performance last week and throws 4 pick-6s. And if the clash between Myles Garrett and Laremy Tunsil actually sparks off fires in Vaught-Hemmingway Stadium. And if Ole Miss actually has a defense this week. And if Hugh Freeze realises Laquon Treadwell’s a really good wide receiver.
  2. Auburn at Arkansas: Trainwreck!!!
  3. Tennessee at Alabama: Because this time, Tennessee won’t get killed by Alabama. Says the CBS previewer, begging people to tune into the game.
  4. Western Kentucky at LSU: Ranked this high because Leonard Fournette.
  5. Kentucky at Mississippi State: Kentucky could win two SEC road games this year. Mississippi State could actually find a rushing attack. This could actually be a better game that people expect.
  6. Missouri at Vanderbilt: Missouri’s offensive line and offense in general is offensive. This game is going to be rougher than the hangover you had after the first time you went shot-for-shot with ‘Fun’ Uncle Joe at Thanksgiving.

Week 7 Rankings: LSU, Bama roll while Georgia plunges

The SEC was dealt another blow by minor league opposition when Memphis beat Ole Miss, but otherwise things stayed with the favorites. Alabama went to Texas A&M and romped home thanks to the help of A&M QB Kyle Allen gifting them THREE pick-6s, LSU beat Florida on a fake field goal (we love you, Les Miles!), and Georgia and Missouri played a baseball game in which Georgia won 9-6. Oh, and South Carolina, free from visors and Spurriers, beat Vanderbilt.

After a lay-off of rankings last week, here’s our rankings after Week 7:

  1. Alabama (1): Texas A&M couldn’t stop Alabama’s rush, and Texas A&M couldn’t stop Alabama’s secondary (you remember: The guys we all thought would be ‘soft’?) snaring THREE interceptions and taking them back to the house. Oh, and try and run at this defensive front. Please. Try.
  2. LSU (6): Beat Florida by a field goal, and is looking better and better as the weeks go on. OK, that’s not actually true. Brandon Harris is looking better and better. Leonard Fournette’s just looking like Leonard Fournette.
  3. Texas A&M (3): Kyle Allen was awful. The defense couldn’t stop Derrick Henry. But strangely, this team is defensively better.
  4. Florida (4): Despite the fake field goal loss in Death Valley, this Florida team is still good, and still on the rise. Now imagine what they would have been able to do with Will Grier.
  5. Ole Miss (5): Laremy Tunsil’s coming back so that’ll make the offensive line so much better. And we all hope Robert Nkemdiche can get back to us after sustaining a concussion early on in the Memphis loss. The team looks bad without him.
  6. Mississippi State (7): Dak Prescott and the Mississippi State offense is starting to tick, which needed to happen against a lively Louisiana Tech team last week. This team is going to be a tough out in the SEC West this year.
  7. Arkansas (10): Didn’t choke it all away to bye week this week, but gave Alabama everything they could handle in Week 6. This team needs to learn not to give away penalties though.
  8. Tennessee (12): Grew some balls against Georgia after being down 24-3 early, and profited from Georgia’s lack of catching them. Josh Dobbs should get quite the treatment against Alabama.
  9. Georgia (4): The Nick Chubb injury at Tennessee has KILLED this team. The Florida game could be uncomfortable.
  10. Auburn (13): Win over Kentucky makes this team close (ish) to being bowl eligible, but it’s still not a very good side.
  11. Kentucky (10):  Kentucky probably feel they should have beaten Auburn on Thursday night. At the start of the season, who would have thought we’d be saying that?
  12. Missouri (11): Mizzou’s got a quarterback in Drew Lock, who went 21/28 for 136 yards and 2 TDs against South Carolina. The defense had 3 picks. They were a lot better against this crappy opponent than they were, say, against UConn. Mind you, that’s hardly a high standard.
  13. South Carolina (14): South. Carolina. Is. Awful. But weirdly enough, less awful now Steve Spurrier’s gone.
  14. Vanderbilt (14): Welcome back to the bottom of the list, Vandy. We missed you.



Can Texas A&M upset Alabama? SEC game previews

It’s been a helluva week in college football. Spurrier’s out, Sark’s out, Grier’s out (for a year) and Tunsil’s out (until next week). Oh, and it’s one of the biggest weeks for games, too.

In the SEC we’ve got our fair share of ’em. Some of them look less than they might have (Georgia vs Missouri), and some of them look far bigger than Preseasoners like us would have predicted (LSU vs Florida). And some games are and were always going to be pretty monstrous (Alabama vs Texas A&M). And some are pretty big now, because the HBC is gone golfing (South Carolina vs Vanderbilt).

So here are our game predictions (and rankings) for the games out there this weekend

  1. Alabama at Texas A&M

Alabama looked like a machine on the road at Georgia. There’s no two ways about it. And then the Tide looked a lot poorer against Arkansas. And yes, we watched the game. It wasn’t a problem with stopping Alex Collins. The Tide managed that. It was just – you know – poor. This week Nick Saban & Co are walking into what will be a very, very noisy Kyle Field, with a Texas A&M side on fire at the moment. Christian Kirk is a livewire, and good luck to the Alabama offensive line stopping Myles Garrett AND Daylon Mack. And good luck to A&M’s defense stopping Derrick Henry. We expect a shoot-out.

PREDICTION: Alabama is a four-point favorite. We’re calling Alabama by 7 in a great game.

2. Florida at LSU

It’s one of the SEC’s biggest – if not oldest (they’ve “only” been playing annually since 1971) – rivalries, and Saturday night in Death Valley between two ranked, very-hyped teams should be a lot of fun. Leonard Fournette is going to be the name on everyone’s mouths, but if Florida watches the South Carolina tape, they’ll work out how to stop him: The old-fashioned gang tackle. We see Fournette getting suffocated by Florida’s defensive line, forcing Brandon Harris to throw. That could be ugly, if you consider UF’s secondary, led by Vernon Hargreaves. Florida, on the other hand, just saw QB Will Grier get suspended for taking over-the-counter medicine, and so suddenly a settled QB position is looking a lot worse with Treon Harris under center.

PREDICTION: LSU a 7-1/2 point favorite with Vegas? A joke. We’ll take Florida to win a pretty ugly game. 

3. Vanderbilt at South Carolina

Now that Steve Spurrier’s gone, taking his Heisman Trophy, his visor and his golf clubs with him, what would be a pretty ignored South Carolina – Vanderbilt game will now have a lot more national attention. Which is weird, because it’s still two teams fighting NOT to be at the basement of the SEC East. Vanderbilt’s playing with more vigour, but Spurrier’s resignation might actually give the Gamecocks mojo.

PREDICTION: Vegas is making South Carolina a 2.5 point favorite. We’ll take South Carolina by 7 in an awful game.

4. Ole Miss at Memphis

A lot of people are talking up Memphis being a potential upsetter on Saturday night, but we saw the Cincinnati game, and the Tigers’ defense is pretty terrible. And although the offense can put up a ton of points against lower teams, Cincinnati’s defense isn’t exactly, er, Ole Miss. And while everyone’s talking about Memphis’ home field advantage, we expect a ton of Ole Miss support at the stadium.

PREDICTION: Ole Miss is favored by 10-1/2. We think they beat the spread, winning by 17.

5. Missouri at Georgia

Georgia was hit by the horrific news that Nick Chubb was done for the year with a knee injury (we never want to see the video of that again) on Saturday, and then after that, the defense couldn’t stop anybody, as the Bulldogs chocked a 24-3 lead against Tennessee to a loss. And as awful as Grayson Lambert was, he shouldn’t be the only person getting training. His wide receivers need to be brought in for catching practice too. They were as guilty as anybody of offense-killing drops. And for Missouri, awful offense is the story of the season. So this game is going to be pretty horrible, people.

PREDICTION: Georgia’s a 17-point favorite. I’ll take the Bulldogs by 14, keeping them in the SEC East race, and booting Mizzou out of it. 

6. Auburn at Kentucky (Thursday)

It’s an indictment of the Auburn programme at the moment that Kentucky is looking far more competitive than Auburn at the moment, isn’t it? Auburn’s going to walk into a rammed, loud Commonwealth Stadium, with the locals smelling blood. Kentucky should have beaten Florida a few weeks ago, and Mark Stoops’ program is growing better by the season. Auburn was recently hit with the news that star receiver Duke Williams will not be returning to the team after he was involved in a fracas outside a bar, which doesn’t help Sean White. At all.

PREDICTION: Auburn at 1 point favorite? We’ll take Kentucky by 6 in what could be the most under-the-rader entertaining game of the week.

7. Louisiana Tech vs Mississippi State

Not so bold prediction: Mississippi State will win and the fans will ring their cowbells.

PREDICTION: MSU at 13-1/2 point favorite. Take the Bulldogs by 21!





Why did Steve Spurrier leave right now?

It’s really sad Steve Spurrier’s leaving college football.

It’s sad for the players, the fans, and the media, who miss one of the game’s best characters. Alabama fans, you can have Nick Saban. Ohio State fans, you can have Urban Meyer. But give me a Steve Spurrier – who won his fair share of things back in the day- anytime.

But while it’s sad that Steve Spurrier’s leaving South Carolina, South Carolina fans should also be pissed off.

The Head Ball Coach’s decision to leave this week was like a lot of the Gamecocks’ quarterback play this season: Utterly mistimed.

Steve Spurrier was a figurehead in Columbia. Steve Spurrier rescued a dead-and-buried college football team, resurrected it, beat Georgia and Tennessee consistently, scored a few monster upsets, and the fans loved him.

But during early October, while the rains were pouring and the floods were rising, leaving devastation to one of the prettier college towns in our fair country, Columbia needed Spurrier. They needed Spurrier to be a leader.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. A leader would have stuck around. Spurrier didn’t.

I still think back to the time when Spurrier was God down in those parts a couple of years ago. He couldn’t do any wrong. First it was Marcus Lattimore, and then it was Jadeveon Clowney. Heck, even Stephen Garcia made South Carolina fun. But then Clowney became the biggest thing on campus, and you could sense that there was an ego-battle between THE MAN WHO TOOK THAT MICHIGAN PLAYER’S HEAD OFF and THE HEAD BALL COACH. Clowney went, and the program never recovered. They were boatraced at home on Opening Day ’14 to Texas A&M while being pre-ranked in the top 6 (probably ‘cos of Clowney). They never really recovered.

On reflection, Spurrier should have really walked after the end of last season. Anyone could see at the SEC Media Days that his heart really wasn’t it. He knew that the team on the rise in the state of South Carolina was Clemson. He knew Georgia was still Georgia – how much they screwed up – and his attempts to get great players from the surrounding states were staying at home or going to bigger programs. Unfortunately, Spurrier went further and further into his shell, and then he disappeared like a rat off the sinking ship. He resigned to play golf mid-season, but his players can’t do that. His players have to stick by a program as it sits in pain, a laughing stock of the rest of the conference, but Spurrier didn’t. He simply walked, to the adulation of people who talk about his past achievements.

So why didn’t he go at the end of the 2014 season?

It wasn’t because he thought he could turn the Gamecocks around. It was ego. Pure and simple.

And when the Head Ball Ego couldn’t handle the losses, the terrible play (even though at LSU the team showed a bit more grit than expected) and the continuous questions of “When will Steve Spurrier retire?”,  he walked.

He walked because his team wasn’t good enough, and he wasn’t good enough to turn them around. And now he can go back to his golf game. Which I’m sure will improve.

And now South Carolina, Columbia as a city, the Gamecocks players and going to have to pick up the pieces.





Ole Miss star Tunsil to return against Texas A&M

Ole Miss star offensive linesman Laremy Tunsil will return against Texas A&M, giving the Rebels a monster boost going into the final games of their SEC West run.

Tunsil was given a seven game suspension by the NCAA for receiving improper benefits, which meant the Memphis game will be his last game.

Ole Miss said: “During the course of the process, it was determined by the NCAA that Tunsil received impermissible extra benefits that included the use of three separate loaner vehicles over a sixth-month period without payment, a four-month interest-free promissory note on a $3,000 down payment for purchasing a used vehicle, two nights of lodging at a local home, an airline ticket purchased by a friend of a teammate, and one day use of a rental vehicle.  In addition, it was determined that Tunsil was not completely forthcoming when initially questioned by NCAA investigators regarding the loaner vehicles.  He later corrected his account and since apologized.

Tunsil will also have to make the vehicle payments, pay the value of the extra benefits to charity, and perform community service.

In the release, Tunsil said: “I take full responsibility for the mistakes I made and want to thank everyone for their continued support. I want to apologize to my teammates, coaches and the entire Ole Miss family for how my choices affected our program.  This was a learning experience, and I’m looking forward to being back on the field with my team and redeeming myself.  The last 10 months have been a physical and mental battle for me, but I love playing this game more than anything else.  I want to be here for my teammates who are depending on me to finish what we started together.

Hugh Freeze, Ole Miss’ coach said: “We have been supportive of Laremy throughout this process, and we are thankful he can return to competition starting with the Texas A&M game.  More important than his football ability is his character, and I am confident that Laremy will grow from this experience and continue to be a positive member of the University and our football team.


Tunsil is widely thought of being a first round NFL draft pick in the 2016 draft.


Florida suspends QB Grier for 1 year

The Florida Gators have suspended QB Will Grier for the rest of the season after the player failed a drugs test, head coach Jim McElwain announced.

Grier’s test – according to McElwain – was for taking an 0ver-the-counter supplement, and will find him out until the seventh game of the 2016 season.

Grier said in a press conference: “I took an over-the-counter supplement that had something in it…I did not check with the medical staff before taking it. I hope that people can learn from this, learn from my mistake. I’m really sorry to everyone, just really sorry.

McElwain added: “It’s something he feels horrible about….It’s an honest mistake, and yet can be prevented by checking with our medical staff. This is a mistake we’ll learn from. Everybody knows the policy, you police yourself. You’re no different. You either do or you don’t. … Before you even take cough medicine, you’ve got to check with the medical staff to allow you to be able to [take it].

The Gators play LSU on Friday in Tiger Stadium.



Alabama Rising, Florida flying – Week 5 SEC Rankings

Week 5 of the season came and went with these feelings about the SEC: The Swamp was titinus-causingly loud. And Florida is good. Or Ole Miss was overrated. Alabama playing at their best will be unbeatable. Or Georgia was overrated. Auburn fans toilet-papered Toomer’s Corner out of relief. Les Miles has got to get his team’s head together against lower opponents. Maty Mauk may have started his last game for Missouri. South Carolina is awful. Kentucky is overrated. Texas A&M is good. Mississippi State’s run game is bad. Kyle Field is loud.Vanderbilt scored a nice upset win. Over MTSU. The weather was horrible in most parts of the SEC this week. Prayers to Columbia, SEC, where it’s flooding at the time of writing. 

Anyway, here’s your rankings after Week 5.

  1. Alabama (2): They came, they saw, they conquered. Brutal weather conditions meant nothing to Saban, who’s defense took advantage of Georgia having no vertical passing threat whatsoever. The Tide played near-enough a perfect game. If they play like this, they will win the College Football Play-Off. With some ease. And Saban was actually happy. Beware, SEC folks, when Nick Saban is happy. 
  2. Texas A&M (3): Defense stood up nicely against Mississippi State, and the offense did what it needed to do against a better-than-advertised Cowbeller team. We still love Christian Kirk, and we’re already eyeballing the Alabama game.
  3. Florida (6): The Swamp and the Gators fans that lived in it were a loud, drunken, rageful-turned-delirious frenzy on Saturday night. The refs couldn’t hear themselves think. Even watching on TV, nor could we. From the first whistle, it was obvious that blood was sensed. By the end, Ole Miss and Hugh Freeze were crucified at the altar of The Gator. Florida was great in almost all passages of play, and unlike the orange unis, were great to watch. This Gators team is good, folks.
  4. Ole Miss (1): The Rebels’ destruction at Ole Miss proved that if you’re not playing Fresno State, then maybe your offense isn’t that good after all. And it shouldn’t have been too much surprise that the defense was at times shredded in the second half….that’ll happen with a bunch of 3 or 6-and-outs.
  5. LSU (5): “LSU’s great because it has Leonard Fournette” seems to be the line that ESPN and all the other guys trot out. Yes, Fournette may have had a 200-yard game, but the defense and a lot of the quarterback play is pretty ugly. The worst part? Les Miles cannot seem to get his team psyched up for crappy teams. This has now happened for two weeks’ straight. Against the likes of Alabama, Texas A&M, Ole Miss and Florida, can LSU get psyched up for the good ones? I just don’t know.
  6. Georgia (4): After their shellacking in the rain, Georgia fans can lie there with their hangovers, comforted that at least the Alabama loss wasn’t a divisional loss. They can also worry that in-division Florida’s suddenly looking a lot better than they are. Another thing that Georgia fans are annoyed about: Abandoning the running game too early. In Brian Schottenheimer/Mark Richt’s defense, every 3-and-out seemed to be leading to points for Alabama. They had to do something.
  7. Mississippi State (7): Losing at Kyle Field isn’t something to hate your team about, but going 14-0 down quickly and having an offense that’s not good trying to dig yourself out of that hole probably is. If Manny Diaz’ defense can play two halves and Mississippi State can get something going on offense, this will be one of the SEC’s toughest outs this year.
  8. Arkansas (10): Alex Collins is a beast, and again proved that against Tennessee. The 24-20 win – especially the final drive – was an exhibition of run-down-your-throat offense, with no stupid penalties given away. Brandon Allen looked serviceable.
  9. Kentucky (10): Kentucky’s risin’ and Tennessee’s fallin’. Kentucky was lucky to win on Saturday. Against Eastern Kentucky.
  10. Missouri (11): Mizzou’s got a quarterback in Drew Lock, who went 21/28 for 136 yards and 2 TDs against South Carolina. The defense had 3 picks. They were a lot better against this crappy opponent than they were, say, against UConn. Mind you, that’s hardly a high standard.
  11. Tennessee (8): On the surface of it losing 24-20 at home to Arkansas is simply another heartbreaking loss. But when the offensive co-ordinators seem to have no clue as to what they are doing, and the wide receivers don’t seem to be allowed to catch – or even try – for a deep ball (and the Razorbacks’ secondary was hardly special going in), all you can think is: “This team’s got problems.”
  12. Auburn (13): Peyton Barber might have gotten five touchdowns, and the defense might have gotten four turnovers, but ‘D’ still gave up 406 yards. I’m sorry, but I don’t think future SEC opponents give the ball up four times to Auburn this season. And I don’t think Peyton Barber scores 5 TDs against future SEC opponents either.
  13. Vanderbilt (14): THE COMMODORES ARE OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST!! An ‘upset’ win over MTSU will do that for  you. And the defense is looking much improved, even if the offfense is, er, poor.
  14. South Carolina (12): South. Carolina. Is. Awful. And the cry for Steve Spurrier to retire are getting even louder.


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