Archive for September, 2015

Missouri suspends QB Mauk

Missouri has suspended its starting quarterback Maty Mauk for the South Carolina game for disciplinary reasons, the school has said.

No-one quite knows what the disciplinary reasons were, but Missouri fans DO know that Mauk has struggled throughout this season, constantly making bad throws, completing just 51% of his throws for 654 yards, 6 TDs and 4 INTs. It was said during a Missouri podcast that Mauk could have thrown three interceptions in one drive had Kentucky’s secondary been able to catch the ball.

The pressure is now going to be on freshman QB Drew Lock to perform against the Gamecocks. The fans seem to like Lock more than Mauk at the moment….and now’s the time to prove it.

Live! The Quarterly SEC Awards (Or SECs)

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Is that Derrick Henry? Is that Nick Saban? Is that Lane Kiffin with Nick Saban’s daughter? Is that Leonard Fournette, brushing off all the reporters as he goes? Is that Les Miles, who’s stopped to say something that no-one understands?

Yes folks, it’s your quarterly SEC Football Blog Awards, given out to the players, teams and coaches who have made a difference – good or bad – in the first quarter of the season. And afterwards, we can all go to Chilli’s with players from the University of Georgia and threaten people.




Leonard Fournette (LSU)


Leonard Fournette, in his performance against Auburn.


Greyson Lambert (Georgia)’s performance against South Carolina was something special, when he went 24-25 for 330 yards and 3 TDs.


Chad Kelly (Ole Miss) against Alabama, where he avoided the sack – and getting himself killed- by the throwing the ball up to ANYONE and it was deflected off an Alabama player and into the arms of Quincy Adeboyejo, who took it to the house.


Myles Garrett (Texas A&M)


That’ll be your Texas A&M Aggies. New DC John Chavis has done wonders. Might need to sort the “stop the running back down the middle” game.


Christian Kirk (Texas A&M) is – as mentioned on the Solid Verbal – already one of the most exciting players in college football.


Dak Prescott (Mississippi State) – Has been pretty great this year for Mississippi State, who ran LSU close and beat Auburn on the road in the last four weeks. Prescott’s been the key. He might not be the Heisman contender…but he should be.


Mississippi State. This is a pretty solid team Dan Mullen’s put together after so much talent left in 2014. Thanks for staying, Dak Prescott.


Vanderbilt. Terrific defensive performance against Ole Miss indicates things might be turned around a little in Nashville. Anchor…up?


Florida. Jim McElwain’s turning this boat around, folks!!



Kentucky. Apparently the “BB” in “BBN” doesn’t stand for basketball, but stands for “Big Blue”. Nice, Mark Stoops.



Jeremy Johnson (Auburn). He is a human tire fire. Let’s hope that Johnson is studying hard, because he might need that degree when all is said and done.


South Carolina. Steve Spurrier’s on No.3 right now. Auburn’s on No.2, for those of you counting.


Missouri, Missouri, Missouri. No quarterback, no running game, and the receivers can’t catch.


LSU’s 28 penaties for 258 yards (9.2 yards/penalty) IN THREE GAMES takes some beating. Arkansas leads the SEC with 31, by the way.


Alabama in the Tide’s loss to Ole Miss included two fumbles on kick returns early, which included TWO kick-off return fumbles. Alabama went 10-0 as a result, and never recovered.


Tennessee. That’s to you for the Oklahoma and Florida games.


Auburn…..Tennessee….Arkansas….. Take your pick.


“Ohio State’s ranked No. 1 and they have one game remaining on their schedule that has anybody ranked right now — Michigan State. We’re going to play eight straight opponents that are ranked.” – Arkansas coach Bret Bielema. His team then lose to Toledo the next week. And Texas Tech the week after. And Texas A&M in overtime the week after. And…

(Quiet Clap, clap, clap)

And your bonus category:


Lane Kiffin’s getting fired from Alabama!!Apparently, Lane Kiffin was getting fired at Alabama the Thursday before Saturday’s game with ULM for sleeping with Nick Saban’s daughter. The rumor mill went through the roof….and it didn’t happen. We don’t know if he DID sleep with Saban’s daughter, but he wasn’t fired.


How good is Ole Miss? Week 4 SEC rankings

Ole Miss was expected to smash Vanderbilt at home and didn’t, instead grinding out an 11-point win over the Commodores and never totally looking in control. Yes, we know that they were coming off a monster win at Alabama, but that’s hardly College Football Play-Off form. Ohio State, by the way, has been ‘grinding’ since it won at Virginia Tech – although it found some signs of life on Saturday.

The fact is this: Ole Miss is still the toast of the SEC West, but we don’t have a clue how good the SEC West actually is. Last year, it was so much easier….

Elsewhere, Arkansas choked against Texas A&M at Jerryworld and lost in overtime, Tennessee choked away the first win in a decade against Florida, and Kentucky got its first win against a ranked side- Missouri – in a 21-13 victory. Leonard Fournette continued to be “Mr Unstoppable” at Syracuse – although LSU was awful up there, Auburn remained a trainwreck in losing at home to Mississippi State, while the SEC East’s favorite trainwreck – South Carolina – beat all-FBS trainwreck UCF (and was actually losing at halftime). And Georgia got outplayed by Southern’s band at half-time (#FIREMARKRICHT), but won the four quarters. Oh, and that little-known or cared about SEC team Alabama? They m’ehed their way to smashing ULM and taking a 2-1 series lead in that mighty rivalry.

So here are our rankings after Week 4:

  1. Ole Miss (Last week: 1) : The fact that Robert Nkemdiche scored his third touchdown of the season was the highlight – not the exclamation point – on a poor night offensively for Chad Kelly, who was picked off twice. Look, we know that Ole Miss was against defensive co-ordinators in the SEC in Derek Mason (he is, folks), but getting rescued by your special teams and an inability of a Vandy kicker to nail a fourth-straight field goal hardly has you saying: “This is the best team in college football”. But they still are the best team in the SEC. Maybe.
  2. Alabama (1) : This is not so much about Alabama’s defense turning it on against ULM (they only gave up 92 yards all day), but about the Crimson Tide’s offense. This offense isn’t great, but it pretty darned good. And all-round, I believe the Tide is better than Texas A&M.
  3. Texas A&M (3) : Why is Alabama a better team than Texas A&M? Because at JerryWorld, Texas A&M couldn’t stop Arkansas running backs Alex Collins and Damian Williams down the middle all day long. Alabama’s got a better offensive line and a better running back duo and will run the ball down their throat. Mind you, Alabama’s O-Line had better be ready for Mr Everything Myles Garrett, Alabama’s secondary better be ready for Christian Kirk, though. He’s something else, people!
  4. Georgia (4) : They got their ass whipped by Southern’s band at half-time, but won the actually football comfortably. Our prayers are with Southern WR Devon Gales, who suffered a spinal injury in the third quarter. These sort of injuries make you nauseous.
  5. LSU (5) : Every time you think the Tigers on a roll, Les Miles provides a piss-poor, sleepwalking, crappy effort against a far-inferior opponent. It happened against Saturday. LSU may have won 34-24, and Leonard Fournette got over 200 yards and 2 TDs, but my God, the penalties. The Tigers gave up ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY YARDS IN PENALTIES (14 of them). That’s terrible. The Fournette factor keeps them this high, though.
  6. Florida (6): The Gators got through this win by the skin of their teeth, and that’s OK. At least for Gators fans. Jim McElwain was an inches-wide field goal from losing being the first Florida coach since Ron Zook to lose to Tennessee. The Gators struggled to deal with the run, and at times the INCREDIBLE SECONDARY didn’t look so incredible. I’m still on-the-fence about the Gators. Sorry.
  7. Mississippi State (8): Heartily took advantage of the wreckery in Auburn to take home a 17-9 victory. Manny Diaz’ defense ensured Auburn’s offense went without a touchdown since 2011. Dak Prescott’s probably the best QB in the SEC right now. If there’s a side trending upwards in this league, it’s the Bulldogs.
  8. Tennessee (7): I saw this over Twitter yesterday: Three teams have given up double-digit leads in the fourth quarter this season. Two of them are Tennessee. The game’s match-up with Arkansas may get called off because Neyland’s flooded with both fanbases’ tears.
  9. Kentucky (9): I’m becoming a genuine believer in Mark Stoops, and the trouble he might cause Georgia and other teams when they come against the Wildcats in future games. Well, Mark Stoops’ defense. And Patrick Towles. Kentucky beat Missouri and had its first victory over a ranked opponent in 19 attempts.
  10. Arkansas (12) : Arkansas should have beaten Texas A&M in JerryWorld. They played really, really well. You know, until Bret Bielema decided to go conservative on the final drive, and the team murdered themselves with penalty flags. The referees didn’t exactly help them either, too. But this Arkansas team – if it gets some fire in its belly – might not be the tire fire we all thought it was post-Texas Tech.
  11. Missouri (11) : The Tigers have no offense. Simple.
  12. South Carolina (13): Before the game, a Gamecocks fans tweeted me a badge that said: “For the love of God, please beat UCF”. They did – 31-10 – and Lorenzo Nunez has a bit of confidence in him. Pharoh Cooper doesn’t need any confidence, thanks.
  13. Auburn (9) : Formally an offensive juggernaut, the Tigers simply don’t look that dangerous when they get the ball. And considering that defense is a major issue for them…..Safe to say Tammy from Auburn is not going to be very happy on Monday.
  14. Vanderbilt (14) : A great defensive performance against one of the best offensive teams in college football. Derek Mason is a defensive genius. Our problem? There’s no offense (at least against the ‘bigger’ teams). But a hell of an effort in Oxford, folks.



Can Tennessee end the Florida Drought? Week 4 Predictions

WE’RE IN WEEK 4? ALREADY?! In eight more weeks and a lot of bluster’s time, this regular season will be over. God, I’m depressed already. Anyway, let’s change that with memories of an awesome Week 3.

We saw some amazing sights. This included Leonard Fournette throwing off Auburn defenders with the ease of an elephant discarding a human (And by the Heisman hype he’s getting now, he might well be a god amongst men). We also balls bounce off Alabama special teams players, defenders, and wide receivers, and the bad bounces outnumbered the good ones. The Crimson Tide was upset in Tuscaloosa by Ole Miss in a game for the ages. And Arkansas? They lost at home to Texas Tech, and Kliff Kingsbury threw some shade at Bret Bielema.

We went 7-3 straight up in our predictions (we screwed up on ‘Bama, Auburn and Arkansas), and stank out the room on straight-up scores, so less to say about that the better.

Anyway, onto Week 4 with our SEC rankings:


We’d like to rub this in for Tennessee fans: Y’all couldn’t beat Will Muschamp in 2014. This year’s Butch Jones team has been talked up a hell of a lot, but we’re very, very worried about the defense. They are dreadful. This year’s Florida team hasn’t been talked up a whole hell of lot, apart from the secondary…which has. Yes, the secondary which gave up 300 yards to ECU without Vernon Hargreaves. Well, with Hargreaves back they looked a lot sturdier against Kentucky – as did the defense – and they’ll come up against a high-octane offense in Tennessee and Joshua Dobbs, which rebounded from a heartbreaker against Oklahoma to beat Western Carolina with some ease. Oh, and they’ve lost CB Jalen Tabor, who got suspended for allegedly refusing a drug test. Here’s what Florida fan Cody Steeves has to say about THAT defense: “Tabor is a big loss, no doubt. I think Towles is a better downfield passer than Dobbs, but Dobbs and Hurd are gonna command a ton more respect on the run than anything UK had to offer. And we’re not gonna sack Dobbs 6 times. Quincy Wilson and the safeties wil really have to step up but I’d be much more worried if we took a big hit to our run defense in the UT game.” So there. And Florida’s offense is going to miss back-up QB Treon Harris, who’s also been suspended – allegedly for testing positive for drugs. Us? We just hope and pray 2014’s goddawful 10-9 game will not be repeated.

PREDICTION: Florida’s actually a 1-point underdog after the Tabor news. We’re taking Florida – for the 11th time – by 3.


We don’t normally say this in Week 4 of any sports season, but Auburn NEEDS to win this game. After they were destroyed by Leonard Fournette at LSU, they NEED to win this game to keep in the SEC West. Carl Lawson being out for the game ain’t gonna help the ‘D’ against MSU and Dak Prescott. On the other side of the ball, Gus Malzahn thought Jeremy Johnson was so horrible that’s he’s dropped him for The Human Tomato, Sean White (no, he’s not a snowboarder!!). White’s a pocket passer, who hopefully won’t make the stupid decisions that Johnson did….Auburn fans hope.

PREDICTION: Auburn’s a 2 point favorite. We’ll take them to win by a close 7. 


I hate this game being in JerryWorld, and always will….even if the game’s as exciting as it was in 2014. For 2015, Texas A&M’s a freight train, Arkansas is a freight train….wreck. Texas A&M’s high-octane offense is still putting up the points for fun, while Arkansas can’t score in the red-zone. Against Texas Tech, it was almost comical. Almost as comical is fans are being asked to pay $250 for the privilege of going to this slaughter on Stubhub.

PREDICTION: Texas A&M’s a 7-point favorite. And they’ll win by more. 


VANDY WON A GAME LAST WEEK! YOU READ IT RIGHT! VANDY WON A GAME LAST WEEK! This time they go to Oxford against an amped Rebels team that beat Alabama in Tuscaloosa, and who’s fanbase are going to ALL swear they were there, when the ticket availability would indicate otherwise. Anyway, we don’t see Vanderbilt doing much against Ole Miss’ defensive line….or much against Ole Miss’ offense, either.

PREDICTION: Ole Miss is favored by 24. We like Ole Miss by 28. 


Combined, both offenses scored 18 points on Saturday. EIGHTEEN (9 each, and Missouri won 9-6, and Kentucky 14-9). This game could be absolutely awful. Could? Or probably will be? We’ll go for the latter.

PREDICTION: Kentucky’s a 2.5 point favorite. We think they win by 3 in a putrid game. Maybe 3-0.


We all know what Leonard Fournette did to Arkansas, so it’s going to be a foregone conclusion that he’ll put up 800 yards and 90 TDs against Syracuse, right? Well, first of all, we think Les Miles is going to “do a Matt Harvey” on Fournette, and not give him the carries. And with his back-ups – Derrius Guice and Darrel Williams – as well as a running Brandon Harris, Miles might not need to. You can also expect Harris to throw a lot more for Travin Dural and Malachi Dupre, who were both somewhat underused against Auburn. Syracuse gives up around 128 yards per game passing, but was pretty stout against the run, giving up 140 total. Mind you, the competition wasn’t that great, either.

PREDICTION: LSU’s a 24 point favorite. LSU wins by 18 in a game that they cruise, but somehow looks closer in the fourth quarter…mostly due to Les Miles. 


Did you know that this series is tied at 1-1? Did you know that Alabama lost at home last week? Did  you know that Alabama fans are pissed at Lane Kiffin and want his head? Did you know that there were some amusing rumors running around Tuscaloosa about Lane Kiffin and what he did or didn’t do with a certain member of the Saban family? Did you know that people are calling the end of an era? Anyway, prepare for the critics to talk more about Ole Miss than they do about the game in front of them on Saturday. And prepare for the critics to get bigger if they play badly, too.

PREDICTION: Alabama’s a 38-point favorite. We think they’ll win by 41, with Derrick Henry scoring 3 touchdowns.


South Carolina’s Lorenzo Nunez is going to be Steve Spurrier’s new quarterback project after not looking too awful against Georgia, and his running of a triple-option offense could be some fun to watch. The deal with Nunez should be to throw the ball to Pharoh Cooper – the only crowd-pleasing this of this Carolina thus far this season. Then South Carolina’s fans might not tear the roof off Williams-Brice. UCF’s started the season 0-3, by the way.

PREDICTION: South Carolina’s a 15-point favorite. We predict they win by 21 to take the pressure off Spurrier, a little.



PREDICTION: Georgia’s a 54.5 point favorite, with the over/under 74.5. We’ll take Georgia to win, but by 45. The Southern band will win half-time. Easily.




Florida suspends key players

Florida has suspended quarterback Treon Harris and cornerback Jalen Tabor for the Tennessee game.

Gators head coach Jim McElwain refused to go into details of the suspension. However, ESPN’s Brett McMurphy said that they came about because Harris had failed a drug test and Tabor had refused to take a drug test, resulting in an automatic suspension.

Harris had been battling QB Will Grier for the starting job in The Swamp. He’s passed for 269 yards and 2 TDs in two games for Florida, and run for 55 yards. Grier played well in the 14-9 at Kentucky on Saturday night, and would probably have started the game against Tennessee.

Tabor will be a monster loss for Florida in the secondary. Florida fans are pretty worried about their secondary this season, and Tabor’s been one of the strengths, with 10 tackles, four pa one interception to his name in three games.

A Kentucky fan described Tabor as a “beast on defense” during the game last week.

This isn’t Harris’ first run-in in the State of Florida. In mid-December he was suspended after being booked by driving without a license for it. Marijuana was found in the car, but Harris was not arrested for the material since the car didn’t belong to him or the two people in the car with him – one Jalen Tabor and J.C. Jackson.



South Carolina gives Nunez starting QB job

Things are bad at South Carolina – and Steve Spurrier’s had it with his starting quarterback, Perry Orth.

He’s replaced him with true freshman Lorenzo Nunez, who actually looked like South Carolina’s most dangerous option – outside of Pharoh Cooper – in the Gamecocks’ 52-20 shellacking at Georgia on Saturday. Nunez will start against UCF.

Nunez went 4-5 for 18 yards and 76 yards rushing against Georgia, while Orth was 6-17 for 66 yards and 1 INT.

I think it’s the first true freshman quarterback as a coach I’ve ever started, but that’s just where we are right now,” head coach Steve Spurrier said in a press conference. “Lorenzo gives us maybe a little spark in there that we need offensively.

He added: “I don’t know that we’re a one-quarterback team completely, but if (Nunez) goes out there and plays very well and takes care of the ball we could be a one-quarterback team.

BOTTOM LINE: Spurrier needed to do something – and Nunez is probably the right decision. 

Auburn benches QB Johnson

Starting QB Jeremy Johnson has been benched by head coach Gus Malzahn after three awful performances for the Tigers, culminating in a humiliation in Death Valley by LSU.

Taking his place will be redshirt freshman Sean White, who came to The Plains as the eighth-best pro-style quarterback in the country, and 22nd overall player in Florida.

Johnson went 43-72 for 473 yards, 5 TDs and 6 INTs — and the interceptions number could have been double that. He’s also been sacked five times.

6-0 White was the Elite 11 MVP during his senior season at high school, according to, and apparently he’s not the running threat that Johnson is.

Auburn fans will be hoping that he holds onto the ball better.

BOTTOM LINE: The benching of Johnson smacks of desperation from Malzahn. White battled with Johnson for the starting QB in the Spring….and lost. Is this going to come out any better?



Fournette, Ole Miss rule: Week 4 SEC Rankings

We’ve got a couple of things to say about Week 4.

  1. Leonard Fournette, Leonard Fournette, Leonard Fournette. Gus Malzahn should have said in the press conference after Auburn was trainwrecked by the player: “He just ran us over”. But he didn’t. Fournette was so good, it became must-see TV.
  2. Unbelievable night in Bama. I am still quivering from thinking about that Ole Miss vs Alabama game in Tuscaloosa. This game was like being on the relationship rollercoaster, with more ins and outs than an episode of “Game Of Thrones” (speaking of acting: John Hamm, congrats on the Emmy for “Mad Men”).
  3. Georgia crushed Spurrier. Georgia’s a much better team than South Carolina this year. Who knew??
  4. Arkansas, Arkansas, Arkansas. Enough said.

Anyway, here are our SEC rankings after Week 4 of the College Football Season.

  1. Ole Miss (Previous Ranking: 3): After a stunning victory in Tuscaloosa, Ole Miss raced to the top of this chart. Robert Nkemdiche proved once again he’s THE (of not one of the THE) best defensive player in college football. He was everywhere against Alabama, who’s offensive line just couldn’t stop him. Chad Kelly made some plays, and got a little lucky with one of the touchdowns. Weird things happen in the State of Alabama with caroms and touchdowns, yo. The SEC West – yet again – runs through Oxford. Hopefully – for the Rebs – O-Lineman Laremy Tunsil will play some part in it. And Kirk Herbstreit may or may not be invited to the party if they win.
  2. Texas A&M (2): The two “Ms” – Daylon Mack and Myles Garrett – are awesome. The Aggies’ offense is ticking nicely. Some fans are worried by the Aggies’ size at secondary. But will it matter with the offense clicking so well?
  3. Alabama (1): Alabama’s special teams are still running around the practice field after Saturday’s defeat. It’s been 48 hours and Nick Saban’s too pissed to be even tired. Listen, Alabama’s still in the race for the SEC West, so please, let’s not have the whole: “This is it!!” from the upset Harvey Updyke-types, OK?
  4. Georgia (4): The October 3rd clash in Athens between the Bulldogs and Tide just got bigger with Alabama’s loss. Greyson Lambert actually looked pretty great against Carolina on Saturday, and Georgia’s defense is just nasty. So’s Nick Chubb, by the way.
  5. LSU (5): We don’t normally get overly orgasmic about college football, but Leonard Fournette’s highlight reel from Saturday nearly had us shrieking like Christian Slater’s character in “Pump Up The Volume” (TAKE COVER ARIZONAAAAAAA!). And we’d also like to mention QB Brandon Harris, who wasn’t at all bad in Saturday’s win. As he improves, we’ll see more of super-talented WRs Travin Dural and Malachi Dupre. LSU could be dangerous.
  6. Florida (6): Florida owns Kentucky (in football, anyway). That’s 29 straight victories against the Wildcats, folks. Great defense at the end of the game saved a lackluster offense. I’ve a feeling we’ll be saying that a lot this season.
  7. Tennessee (10): This team is young and very talented. They rebounded from a jaw-dropping loss to Oklahoma by routing Western Carolina, the weakest of the Directional Carolinas.
  8. Mississippi State (8): Let’s not take a huge about from MSU’s victory over Northwestern State, except to say that Dak Prescott & Co rebounded nicely from the heartbreaking LSU loss a week before.
  9. Auburn (7): Auburn was trainwrecked by Leonard Fournette & Co in a boiling hot Tiger Stadium from almost the very first play from the line of scrimmage. Jeremy Johnson isn’t a great QB, either.
  10. Kentucky (12): Losing while only giving up 14 points must be a heartbreaker for Mark Stoops & Co, but let’s be honest: This Florida defense is really, really good.
  11. Missouri (11): Well, the Tigers have the best defense in the SEC after holding off Southwest Missouri State, Arkansas State and…..UConn. The offense, however, is awful. This team really isn’t that good, folks.
  12. Arkansas (9): When I saw #piggate on Twitter, I naturally assumed that the world was talking about the Razorbacks losing at home to Texas Tech. Nope, it was the British Prime Minister doing unsavoury things to dead pigs in his student days. Allegedly.
  13. South Carolina (13): South Carolina has given up 52 to points on three occasions: 1970, 1974 and 2015. 2015’s effort was probably as bad as the two games in the early 70s were.
  14. Vanderbilt (14): Vandy gets the win! Vandy gets the win! Vandy gets the win! It’s nice to see all the pretty rich girls smile sometime.

Will Ole Miss Beat Bama? Week 3 SEC Predictions

We had to eat a little humble pie in the SEC this week. With Arkansas losing to Toledo, Auburn shoulda-losing to Jacksonville State, Tennessee coughing up a 17-point lead and Missouri and Florida struggling with mighty Arkansas State and ECU respectively, this was not a good week for our conference.

And it was a shitty week for the SEC Football Blog personally, going 10-1 in games straight up (thanks, Arkansas). We were right on the money in the Oklahoma vs Tennessee game (Sooners won by 7), one-point close in our Ole Miss (41 actual vs 42 prediction) and LSU calls (3 vs 2) and two out with Texas A&M (33 vs 35). The rest of them were absolute trainwrecks. Our biggest kick-in-the-footballs? “Auburn by 58”.

This week, things will get sporty with Ole Miss travelling to Alabama, Auburn going to LSU, South Carolina playing Georgia, Kentucky at Florida….and Austin Peay going to Vanderbilt (just kidding, Vandy fans!).

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So here we go….

  1. No.15 Ole Miss at No.2 Alabama

Here’s some fun facts. Ole Miss hasn’t won in Tuscaloosa since 1988, and has only beaten Alabama since 1989. But they’re unbeaten against the Crimson Tide since 2014!!! Anyway, the books don’t think Ole Miss- who boast an offense that’s had back-t0-back 70 point games so far this year – will make it two in a row, making Alabama six-point favorites. Ole Miss is going to have to be effective at running the ball against Alabama’s seriously good front, and are going to have to stop Derrick Henry, who has been the Tide’s own bull elephant so far this year, helping himself with 6 TDs so far. While we’re pretty confident that Robert Nkemdiche’s going to get to Jacob Coker/Cooper Bateman, the question is this: Can Chad Kelly avoid getting himself killed long enough to get the ball to Laquan Treadwell and hurt Alabama’s secondary, which we’re still not convinced about? And you’d be wise to remember this: The last time Hugh Freeze brought a highly-touted Ole Miss team to Tuscaloosa, they lost in a  33-14 rout. And it really wasn’t that close.

PREDICTION: On a day that College Gameday’s in town, Alabama wins, and wins by 10. 

2. No. 18 Auburn at No. 13 LSU 


As this is your CBS 3.30pm game, we expect Verne and idiot Gary to talk non-stop about these things. We expect Death Valley to be rocking, even at 3.30pm on a Saturday (a 3.30pm game just means LSU fans drink earlier), and thirsting for revenge after they were shellacked at Auburn last year. Of course, there will be pressure on Auburn’s Jeremy Johnson, who’s been pretty lousy for the last two games. There will be pressure on LSU’s Brandon Harris to play more actual quarterback – and that’ll mean throwing the ball – if Auburn can actually stop Leonard Fournette. You can expect Will Muschamp to load the box. And maybe this comes to down to clock management, and LSU missing more tackles than Auburn. And Les ****ing Miles.

PREDICTION: LSU’s a seven-point favorite, which would seem right. I actually have to call a winner for this, so I’m going for Auburn by 4 in the “upset”. 

3. South Carolina at No.7 Georgia

South Carolina’s a trainwreck at the moment, and at the position of quarterback it’s so bad that the guys at “Sold Verbal” said that Connor Mitch going out with a hip injury “might improve the quarterback play”. If we’re honest, Mitch’s hip injury isn’t one we’d wish on anyone (We’d like to note that we don’t wish injury or death on players or TV broadcasters). Pharoh Cooper – who has had just 12 receptions, 145 yards and 1 TDs – is expected to be a gamechanger (expect draft people to say: “It wasn’t his fault his quarterback was so crappy”), but how can he be a gamechanger in THAT offense? But this could be the battle of the goddawful quarterbacks. We trust Georgia’s Greyson Lambert as much as we trust Perry Orth to lead USC’s offense. Georgia has the better running backs and defense, and this might make the difference for a Sanford crowd screaming: “PLEASE DON’T **** IT UP AGAINST SOUTH CAROLINA AGAIN, DAWGS!!”. Maybe.

PREDICTION: Georgia’s a 17-point favorite. We think they win by….21. 

4. Florida at Kentucky

Kentucky’s impressive road win at South Carolina proved that they’ve got solid RBs in “Boom” Williams, JoJo Kemp and Mikkel Horton, and a pretty good QB in Patrick Towles. Florida goes into Kentucky having held off the Wildcats 36-30 in 3 OTs. I think UK’s fans are STILL grumbling about the delay of game penalty that wasn’t. Anyway, we don’t know what quite to expect of both teams. Florida struggled against East Carolina, which Kentucky ran out to big lead at South Carolina and was one near-turnover from losing. Again, we’re not sure. We ARE sure that Commonwealth Stadium will be rocking, though.

PREDICTION: Florida is a 3-point favorite. They’ll win by 7. 

5. Arkansas vs Texas Tech

Last season Arkansas ran all over Texas Tech – and in particular Jonathan Wiliams, who did most of the damage. Well, this season Williams is injured, and Arkansas stunned the college football world by losing at home to Toledo. Arkansas still has an excellent running back in Alex Collins, and as much as we’ve teased Brandon Allen about nailing the crossbar with a throw (he managed that against Toledo)/overthrowing his wide receivers inside the 20 (he managed that three times)/his early Heisman shot (Yeah, about that….), Texas Tech still has a very poor defense. Tech’s offense, however, is still no problem (128 points in 2 games).

PREDICTION: Arkansas is a 11.5-point favorite. We’re taking the Razorbacks by 14. 

6. Nevada vs No. 17 Texas A&M 

Texas A&M is expected to win this one. And win this by a mile. Hence the reason why they are 35-point favorites. Nevada played Arizona close and then dissolved to a 44-20 loss, and don’t expect them to be able to fire that quickly in Kyle Field.

PREDICTION: Texas A&M continues to cruise, winning by 35.

7. Connecticut at Missouri

Missouri fans were furious about the poverty that was Missouri offense in the win against Arkansas State. They don’t like Maty Mauk, or the options at running back. Or anything. The defense is OK, though. UConn will come into a maybe-75%- full Faurot Field with two wins under their belt (five point wins vs Villanova and Army both) and after the hideousness of last Saturday, Missouri fans will be nervous.

PREDICTION: Missouri’s a 21-point favorite. They’ll win by 25. And not look very good doing it. 

8. Western Carolina at Tennessee

We can guarantee that the atmosphere against Western Carolina’s not going to be like the one against Tennessee. UT’s going to have to get back off its knees are giving up a 17-0 lead to lose in double-overtime. UT’s going to have listen to the critics against use words like “young”, “unready”, “unworthy”, and Butch Jones is going to have to listen to comments about the imbalance between his recruiting and his coaching. Western Carolina’s not even considered by the bookies in this one.

PREDICTION: Tennessee by 42. 

9. Austin Peay vs Vanderbilt

Vanderbilt actually hasn’t been as horrible as people who haven’t seen any of their games would love to point out. Against Georgia they could have lost by 40, but they just didn’t give up — like the lady fan (WHO ARE YOU??) who sat in an abandoned student section watching the game while the rest of the Vanderbilt student fanbase walked off. Anyway, Austin Peay rolls in after losing two straight games and scoring only 13 points. Vandy’s a 40.5-point favorite, by the way.

PREDICTION: Vanderbilt wins by 42!!


10. Northwestern State vs Mississippi State

They’ll be some cowbells a-clanging. Dak Prescott and the guys are a 39.5 point favorite, and we expect damage to be done to a Northwestern State ‘D’ that’s given up 78 points so far this year after the latest in the list of heartbreaking losses meted out to that tremendous fanbase.

PREDICTION: Mississippi State by 42.





After Week 2: Auburn and Arkansas fall in SEC rankings

If you are an Auburn and Arkansas fan, you had an intensely forgettable Saturday. Of course, Auburn survived mighty Jacksonville State — in overtime — with the rest of the SEC cheering on the Tigers to fall, while Arkansas comedically fell at ‘home’ to Toledo (2014 record: 9-4, 7-1 MAC). Elsewhere, Missouri and Florida struggled with Arkansas State and East Carolina respectively, Tennessee gave up a 17-0 lead to Oklahoma in the best atmosphere of the day in Neyland, and Les Miles was Les Miles (and LSU won despite it). Otherwise, Alabama, Georgia and Texas A&M pretty much cruised.

Anyway, here’s your SEC rankings after Week 2.

  1. Alabama (Previous Ranking: 1) — Resounding win over Middle Tennessee State despite starting slowly. Derrick Henry had another triple-touchdown day.
  2. Texas A&M (2) — Crushed Ball State with no issues whatsoever. We didn’t watch the game for fear that the commentators would use the words: “Revamped Kyle Field” 4,000,0000,0000,000,000,000 times. They (probably) did.
  3. Ole Miss (4) — “Jumped” one in the rankings. Simply because the offense looks awesome. And Robert Nkemdiche scored another TD. Something tells me that their two-game run of scoring 70 points ends in Tuscaloosa.
  4. Georgia (3) – There are worries at quarterback. Greyson Lambert didn’t have ‘it’ against a poor Vanderbilt side, and nor did Brice Ramsey. But even if Nick Chubb HAS hurt his ankle more than Mark Richt’s letting on, Georgia’s going to have a filthy RB set, offensive line and defense. They’re just fine.
  5. LSU (7) – Les Miles’ clock management is shocking. Leonard Fournette is awesome (3 TDs). Brandon Harris was a hell of lot better than we expected. Need to lessen the penalties, which could have killed them.
  6. Florida (8) – Struggled with dumb penalties and had some poor moments in the secondary, but Florida fans must be psyched to see the offense score more than 21 points in two-straight games.
  7. Auburn (4) – If Jeremy Johnson wins the Heisman this year, I’m going to be an exotic dancer. And they SHOULD have lost to Jacksonville State. Blame JSU for not going for it on 4th down.
  8. Mississippi State (10) – Great comeback (albeit too little, too late) and the Dak Prescott – De’Runnya Wilson connection could be fun to watch. But the defense was poor against the run. Could suffer in the long run.
  9. Arkansas (6) – The “Brandon Allen For Heisman” campaign stopped here when he airmailed it over yet another wide receiver and hit someone in the crowd.
  10. Tennessee (11) – This is a young team, and it’s going to be very good. But maybe not great in 2015. But as a buddy of mine pointed out: “If you give up a 17-point lead in that atmosphere, you’ve got problems”.
  11. Missouri (9) – Maty Mauk was pretty dreadful, but they had enough to beat Arkansas State. Yes, mighty Arkansas State. Auburn probably would have lost to them.
  12. Kentucky (12) – Kentucky’s got a good RB trio in JoJo Kemp and “Boom Williams” and Mikel Horton, who put up over 200 yards on South Carolina. Why so low? They could have easily lost it had it not been for a controversial INT/fumble call in the final minutes.
  13. South Carolina (13) – This team isn’t very good. Sorry, South Carolina.
  14. Vanderbilt (14) – We know there’s a land called hope, but it’s not going to come in Johnny McCrary, who’s not going to win games when throwing 500,000 times.
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