Geaux-ing, Geaux-ing, Gone: Why Saturday’s game for LSU is make or break

There is a smell around Tiger Stadium, and despite what Katy Perry says, it’s not corndogs and it’s certainly not bourbon. It feels – and smells – like a funeral.

That shouldn’t be surprising, because Death Valley has prided itself on being the place where opposition teams’ – and their fans’ hopes go to die. Now, the fanbase- complete with a multi-million dollar new addition the stadium – are feeling the stench of the death upon them as a program, punch-drunk by successive monster losses, falls to its knees like a heavyweight boxer lit up by consecutive Mike Tyson punches.

At the start of the season, people weren’t as angry at Les Miles, because they came back from the dead to beat Wisconsin. Since then, they’ve won the games they should do against minor opposition, and in the big unveiling of the new south end zone expansion, they were blown out by Mississippi State (the end scoreline doesn’t really lend weight to how far apart Cowbell and Tiger really were), and then at Auburn, it was a Titanic that was smashed by a double iceberg of Gus Malzahn offense and its own horrors on both sides of the ball. Now they are really angry. After all, LSU hadn’t lost to Mississippi State and pretty consistently owned Auburn, but they were owned.

To put this in perspective: LSU last had a winless record in a conference in 1924. That was in the Southern Conference days, before they decided they were going to be a founder member of the SEC. Heck, the last time they only lost one game in the Southeastern Conference was in 1999. They are in great danger of posting the egg this season.

And last season LSU wasn’t great.

Sure, they went 10-3 for the second year in a row, but LSU really wasn’t great. Before the season began the team became a laughing stock when it was allowed to vote on the future of Jeremy Hill, who had been arrested for giving one of the worst blindsides-by-a-football-player in the annals of bad blindsides outside Tigerland. His previous history from his pre-college years should have seen an ‘au revoir’ from Team Geaux, but then again, what’s a moral when you’ve got wins to be had? Oh, and the 2013 LSU Tigers were awful tacklers, too. And they really didn’t seem to care all season long, either. Sure, the Tigers could throw and catch the ball, but the defense was horrible? Hell, but it was exciting!!

Despite all that, NINE LSU players went to the NFL Draft, including Mettenberger, top talents on wide receiver in Odell Beckham and Jarvis Landry, and both Hill and Alfred Blue. And DT Ego Ferguson and OLB Lamin Barrow went too. All in all, the team returned 5 offensive starters and 7 defensive starters. But if we’re honest, the talent all went pro in something that was football. Listen, we know LSU went into 2014 with a bit of love. “Les Miles is still one of the best recruiters in the country”, drooled the writers, telling us all that the Cat In The Hat had managed to pull off a 2nd-ranked 2014 recruiting class and a year before that, a 6th-ranked recruiting class. The 2014 recruiting class included the ‘new Bo Jackson’ Leonard Fournette, and a bag of other talent, too.

Well, even Fournette – who only arrived on campus in the spring – couldn’t do miracles. LSU- which needs a good running back duo bearing in mind its horrible problems at quarterback – ranks 32nd in the country in rushing offense. The quarterback and offensive line combo (Anthony Jennings is awful and Brandon Harris is young and overthrows the ball too much) has ensured LSU is 72nd in passing offense. And the offensive line itself has allowed 11 sacks for 70 yards (61st in the country) already. Defensively, the team can’t stop the rush. LSU is 89th in the nation defending the rush. Weirdly, the secondary has been excellent against the pass – No. 10, and 2nd in the SEC. But it doesn’t matter about passing when you can rush the ball on the Paper Tigers, does it? Against Auburn, it was big play after big play after big play they managed to give up, and we could swear that the only reason LSU wasn’t beaten by 60 is that Gus Malzahn realized he had a pretty big game at Mississippi State the following week and wanted to keep the score down.

So what’s going to happen against Florida, a team with its own problems? We don’t know. But if the Tigers don’t win this one, LSU fans are going to get someone’s head. Because one thing’s for certain: They won’t get geaux-ing to a bowl game in a hurry.