If someone told you at the start of the year that the Ole Miss versus Auburn game would be the biggest game of the football season to date, they’d send you back to the crackhouse with Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.

But it’s true: War Eagle’s visit to The Grove will represent the clash of two of the four teams in the College Football Play-Off Committee (Auburn was voted No.3 and Ole Miss No.4), with the loser seemingly going to get booted out of contention. College Gameday, after visiting SEC schools – including two Missisippi schools- three times in four weeks – has decided to go up to Morgantown for the TCU’s visit of West Virginia. We hope they’ve brought their kevlar.

Oh, and there’s a Cocktail Party (sorry, Todd Gurley will NOT be playing), No.1 Mississippi State (seriously, we STILL can’t believe we’re saying that!!) hosts an Arkansas side that’s seriously better than its 4-4, 0-for-SEC record indicates, and Tennessee goes to South Carolina. Mizzou hosts Kentucky, and Texas A&M plays mighty Louisana-Monroe. Oh, and Vanderbilt plays Old Dominion….and is only a 7-point favorite!! (Giggle!).

Anyway, here’s your preview…

No.3 Auburn (6-1, 3-1) at No. 4 Ole Miss (7-1, 4-1)

“Good Bo? Bad Bo? Bo Wallace! What the **** were you thinking throwing that in Death Valley on Saturday! What were you thinking? Are you ****ing insane? Were you drunk?” Ole Miss fans said – we think – after watching Ole Miss’ stunning 10-7 defeat to LSU at Tiger Stadium on Saturday night. They SHOULD have at least taken the game to overtime, but failed due to some terrible decision-making from their quarterback. Listen, we KNEW that the offense was awful, but we never knew how much. Ole Miss is now going to have to stand up against the buzzsaw that is the Auburn offense, which hasn’t really been slowed down this season (even by Mississippi State, who they put up 23 points against), and probably won’t be, unless Gus is taken to the great War Eagle in the sky. It’s going to be riveting, watching the battle between Gus Offense (15th in the nation at 39.3 points per game) and Hugh Freeze defense (1st in the nation at around 10 points per game). Robert Nkemdiche, Laremy Tunsil and Cody Prewitt were hurt against LSU, and they might be pretty gimpy for this one. And Ole Miss is going to need all the help it can get.

PREDICTION: Ole Miss is a 2-point favorite. We’re taking Auburn by 7 in The Game Of The Year So Far. Here’s why: We don’t believe Ole Miss can score enough points for its beaten-up defense to defend. 

No. 11 Georgia (6-1, 4-1) vs Florida (3-3, 2-3) (Jacksonville)

A Georgia buddy of mine said to me drunkenly at a wedding in July that the team he feared in the run for the SEC East in Florida. “I hate those bastards”, he said to me, while sipping on his bourbon outside a bar in Atlanta, “But those guys can play some defense. Stack the box against Gurley, Mason’s got problems.” Of course, this was before “GurleyGate”, which means that Florida’s ‘D’ is going to be facing Nick Chubb instead of Gurley, who got his ass suspended for four games for getting paid for $3,000 worth of autographs. And my buddy never thought that Florida’s offense would be that lousy…but it is. Jeff Driskel is having a tirefire, and it’s likely that Will Muschamp – who’s the most hated man in The Swamp since Ron Zook –  is going to be Brady Hoke’d at the end of the  year. If Muschamp’s NOT fired by Florida, we’d want Nick Foley to replace Jeremy Foley. Georgia’s on a high after beat Missouri and Arkansas comfortably, but they shouldn’t take Florida too lightly. The Gators’ defense is still really, really good – including the exceptional Vernon Hargreaves, who’s going to be everywhere in the secondary.

Added point: Both sides will be wearing home colors – which we hope is a trend that continues.

Another added point: We hope Verne and Gary are so pissed about having to come to this game instead of the mouthwatering game in The Grove that they complain. A lot.

PREDICTION: Georgia’s a 12-1/2 point favorite. That’s too high. Georgia to win by 10 in a game that’s close until mid-4th.

Arkansas (4-4, 0-4) at No.1 Mississippi State (7-0, 4-0)

Mississippi State didn’t impress us on their trip to Kentucky, but came away with the win, while Arkansas put smiles on Hogs’ fans faces with a victory – albeit over UAB instead of a SEC opponent. Bret Bielema’s team can’t seem to get over the line in the SEC (I feel we’ve said this before), and they struggle because they make too many mistakes and Brandon Allen’s not a good enough quarterback to get them out of the 3rd-and-longs. We love Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams though – and we still reckon they are one the best running back duos in the SEC (although we’ve got so much damned choice!). Anyway, Dak Prescott, wearing maroon, can certainly perform, and that – and a bowling ball runner in Josh Robinson – is the big reason why the Cowbellers are No.1 in the nation right now.

PREDICTION: Mississippi State’s a 10-1/2 point favorite. We think they’ll win by 17. This isn’t going to be that close, people.

Tennessee (3-5, 0-4) at South Carolina (4-4, 2-4) 

Before the Auburn game, it was thought that South Carolina would be hung at Toomer’s Corner after their trip to Jordan-Hare, but it wasn’t to be. South Carolina’s offense exploded….but Auburn’s exploded a little more (and got a ref’s decision – or was it no decision – at the end of the game), and came away with the 7 point victory. Anyway, Tennessee’s coming to Columbia this weekend, and they are just terrible. After getting ripped by Ole Miss and Tennessee (and they were poor for both of those games), Vols fans have got their heads in the hands. But South Carolina will looking for revenge: They lost at Neyland in 2013, a result which was maybe the funniest of the 2013 season.

PREDICTION: South Carolina gets its revenge over the Vols, beating the 7-point spread by 10.

Kentucky (5-3, 2-3) vs Missouri (6-2, 3-1)

The last time Kentucky went on the road to ‘prove’ itself, they were RUINED by LSU. Although they rebounded nicely to give Mississippi State the fright of its life last Saturday, the worry about the last game they played against Tigers must be a little fresh on their minds. They should be OK. Missouri’s offense is probably one of the biggest let-downs of the season so far (REMEMBER: THEY SCORED 42 POINTS AT FLORIDA BECAUSE OF THEIR DEFENSE). Missouri’s a 7-1/2 point favorite.

PREDICTION: Kentucky wins on the road. By 3. 

Louisiana-Monroe (3-4, 0-3) at Texas A&M (5-3, 2-1)

This could be fun, bearing in mind both teams’ shitty defenses. A&M’s a 33-point favorite. And please Texas A&M, fire Mark Snyder.

PREDICTION: Aggies by 41 and beat the spread. Everything’s a bit happier at Kyle Field. 

Old Dominion (3-5, 1-3) at Vanderbilt (2-6, 2-3)

There’s good reason why Vanderbilt has had horrible crowds: They are horrible. They’ve struggled in just about every game they’ve played, and the two wins were against weak non-conference competition. They actually gave the admittedly dreadful Missouri a pretty good battle last Saturday, losing by 10 in a game where QB Jonny McCrary seemed to have found his feet a bit, going 17-31 for 196 yards and 2 TDs . As for Old Dominion, they are on a four-game losing streak, and in their last game gave up 66 points (they only lost by 15). Listen, the OGs from O.D. can score points (they average 33rd), but they are 121st (40th) in points given up. If Vandy can’t score 30 against these guys, Derek Mason should be fired on the spot.

PREDICTION: Vandy – who is hilariously just a 7 point favorite – wins by 14. And it’s pretty comfortable. In the 4th quarter.

 

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