Alabama rolls, LSU and Missouri toil – Week 4 SEC Review

This college football season’s been nuts so far. But there’s nuts, and then there’s SEC nuts. There’s a shifting of power in the SEC. Teams that spent time in the shadows are back up, and punching giants in the mouth. It’s fun. It’s really fun. Unless you’re from Baton Rouge. Or Columbia, Missouri.

Anyway, here’s our SEC rankings (more important than the overall college football rankings). Here we reward strength-of-schedule over record, so if your team has moved down a bit, then that’s why.

Oh, and while we’re here we’d like to note that we watched a crapload of football yesterday. It wasn’t all SEC football. But it was all fun.

1. Alabama (4-0)

Suddenly the win against West Virginia – who gave Oklahoma a hell of a fright in Morgantown on Saturday until the Sooners found their feet – is looking more impressive. What ‘Bama did against Florida – putting up 645 yards against a proud defense – was even more impressive. Blake Sims is definitely looking like the Crimson Tide’s starting quarterback. Sorry about that, Jacob Coker. We will say this, though: If Alabama was playing Texas A&M and they overturned the ball 4 times, they would have been punished worse than the Gators managed.

2. Texas A&M (4-0)

Texas A&M went to No. 2 and Bama went to No. 1 because A&M really hasn’t played anybody apart from South Carolina (which looked horrible at Vanderbilt). But you can’t stop that goddamn offense, which put up 58 in a romp against SMU. We can’t wait for the Alabama game. We really can’t.

3. Auburn (3-0)

War Eagle was really lucky not to get defeathered at Kansas State on Thursday night. Still, the Gus-train is still rolling, although we’re not as convinced as before that this is a play-off team. Still gonna be fun to watch, though.

4. South Carolina (3-1)

Really managed to piss off Steve Spurrier by giving up a junk-time TD….and 379 yards. “It’s embarrassing sometimes the way we play”, he said. HBC added that the win was one of the worst of his career. Well, a win’s a win. And while the team couldn’t tackle, QB Dylan Thompson still threw for 279 yards and 4 TDs (including 1 TD he ran in himself). Listen, we don’t think South Carolina’s that good, but it’ll get better.

5. Georgia (2-1)

Sony Michel played Troy for 3 TDs and 155 yards on just 10 carries. Todd Gurley didn’t play after the first drive because he really didn’t need to. Still, the Dawgs managed to lose two safeties during the game – one for targetting and one with an injury. The fun just keeps on coming in Athens.

6. Mississippi State (4-0)

They didn’t just beat LSU at Death Valley. They completely outplayed them for 58 minutes. Still, the madness this LSU football meant that it all came down to a Hail Mary at the end, but that’s because it’s LES FREAKING MILES. This is a really good, really motivated football team. Particularly with Dak Prescott (#DakAttack) as its QB, who was incredible, going for 268 passing yards and 105 passing yards, with 3 total TDs. Oh, and Josh Robinson, their RB, is pretty useful, too.

7. Ole Miss (3-0)

Did nuthin’ this week but watch Mississippi State win on the road at LSU and suddenly git worried about this year’s Egg Bowl. Which should be amazin’, by the way.

8. LSU (3-1)

LSU fans, when your quarterback’s as shitty as Anthony Jennings, and your young defense can’t tackle worth a crap, is it really that much of a surprise that you lost to Mississippi State? Oh, and we’d like to add that Les Miles needs to start Brandon Harris. The freshman’s goood.

9. Missouri (3-1)

This is how bad Missouri was in its loss to Indiana: If it HADN’T been for Maty Mauk, who seemed to spend most of his day flying around like Michael Jordan to try and catch his center‘s snaps, Missouri could have lost by a lot more to an Indiana offense which might be from the Big Ten, but it’s fast, yo.

10. Arkansas (3-1)

I’m not about to give Bret Bielema Coach Of The Week because his team put up 50 on a Jordan Lynch-less North Illinois, but it was another 200 rushing yard performance from the Razorbacks. They didn’t need Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams to light up the Huskies, because QB Brandon Allen did a mighty fine job of doing it himself, throwing for 199 yards and 2 TDs (and running in 1 more). Suddenly, the Texas A&M game on September 27th looks like a game worth watching.

11. Florida (2-1)

Florida really did make a statement in their schellacking at Alabama. The statement? We’re not going to be very good this year.

12. Tennessee (2-1)

The Vols and its talented wide receivers had the week off before Georgia next week. If their offensive line can keep Worley from getting killed, they might be favorites to win a few games this year.

13. Kentucky (2-1)

MARK STOOPS IS STILL PISSED AT EVERYBODY. AND TO STOP BEING PISSED, HE’S GOING TO CONCENTRATE ON THE VANDERBILT GAME.

14. Vanderbilt (1-3) 

The special teams was awesome for Vanderbilt last night. The rest of it? Notsomuch. This could be the team that Kentucky beats for its first SEC victory since God was a boy.