Archive for September, 2014

14 Prayers SEC Fans Are Throwing Up Going Into Week 6

So, we were talking to The Lord, and we decided that SEC fans needed to talk to Him to at least give their team a half-assed chance of victory in Week 6. Unless you’re Georgia fans, and then it’s a half-assed chance of not screwing it all up absymally.

So here we go.

IN THE SEC EAST….

Georgia fans: “Please Lord, don’t let Todd Gurley get injured. Please….please….please….don’t let Todd Gurley get injured. And for South Carolina to lose….

South Carolina: “Please can Steve Spurrier learn to add up to 21……And our team NOT get upset by FREAKING KENTUCKY. And Georgia and Missouri to lose.”

Missouri: “Please can Todd Gurley get injured, Steve Spurrier continue to have a sideline breakdown, and Georgia and Missouri both lose.”

Florida: “God, if we lose against the ****ers from Tennessee, I’ll never believe in Tim Tebow again.”

Tennessee: “God, PLEASE MAKE SURE WE HAVE A CHECKERBOARD STADIUM FOR SATURDAY. And we wouldn’t mind beating ‘dem Gators, too. And please let the world understand that THINGS DID NOT HAPPEN IN OUR FRATERNITIES

Vanderbilt “God, can the season end today, please?”

Kentucky: “God, thanks for the SEC victory. Can we have another one against Carolina?”

SEC WEST

Ole Miss: “God, if you want, you’re welcome to have a Bloody Mary with us on The Grove. And help our quarterback to actually be good in that small game we’ve got going on”.

Alabama: “God, help the marriage of Nick and Lane. Bless them in Holy Matrimony. And if we lose against Ole Miss, please make sure Lane is left on The Grove, like he was at that airport last season by USC.”

Mississippi State: “God, help in three ways. First of all, help us sell all the tickets to the game on Saturday. We’re still a few short. Secondly, help lightning to strike twice and for us to knock off the Aggies. And while you’re there cure us of the tinnitus we’ve caused ourselves by ringing those cowbells 20,000 times a game.”

Texas A&M: “Thank you for Dave Brandon, Michigan’s AD.”

Arkansas: “Lord, what did we do so wrong to you that we lost in The Devil’s Stadium last week?”

LSU: “Lord, please show Les Miles the way with your servant Brandon Harris, the new saviour of LSU Football. And show us how to tackle. And please help us to focus on the game, because it’s late and we will have been drinking for 14 hours prior.”

Auburn: “Lord, we haven’t had a miracle at Jordan-Hare in at least a couple of quarters. We’re owed one. Enough said.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aggies rise, Gamecocks slide: Week 5 SEC Power Rankings

It was a strange night for the SEC. A team that got beaten at home by a BIG TEN TEAM went on the road to one of the toughest environments in the SEC…..and won. A team favored by 17 over their young, tortured rivals only won by 3. A team got a monkey off its back. Oh, and people are wondering if Les Miles is completely crazy. Again. All in a week in the SEC….

So here are your Power Rankings. Because Alabama didn’t play, they are moving down…

1) Texas A&M (5-0) – They were big favorites to beat Arkansas in JerryWorld, but ended up winning in overtime in a game they SHOULD have probably lost. Mark Snyder’s ‘D’ actually showed some improvement in the second half, but the question we’re still asking is: Why didn’t Arkansas simply carry on running the ball as they had in the first half? Anyway, Kenny Hill finally found some fourth quarter consistency, and the Aggies remain unbeaten.

2) Alabama (4-0) – A HUGE win over Bye Week this week. The Nick-Lane Lovefest continued with some ‘heavy petting’, and Mrs Saban and Mrs Kiffin are considering divorces because their hubbies have run off with….each other. Florida State’s win at NC State put ‘Bama No.1 in the Coaches’ Poll, but isn’t the mark of a good team one that struggles and then comes back and wins comfortably?

3) Auburn (4-0) – You HAVE to watch this play from Quan Bray and Nick Marshall. Incredible. Otherwise, Louisiana Tech came to town to be Auburn’s Homecoming Slaughter Baby….and they only beat Louisiana Tech by 28 – despite the game really being over at 24-0. Was Gus Malzahn slowing down before LSU? Or did something go astray?

4) Georgia (3-1) – Georgia moved up the list because they won and South Carolina didn’t. They didn’t move up the list because their defense was any good (they gave up 401 yards to a not-particularly-good Tennessee offenses), they moved up the list because Todd Gurley is a Heisman candidate, and his 200-yard performance was something special. They failed to beat the spread (as we predicted), but we thought they’d win by 14. Not 3. Still, they won.

5) Mississippi State (4-0) – Up here because we’re convinced they better than 90% of the SEC East. We’ll see if this is all true when they host Texas A&M on Saturday, won’t we?

6) Ole Miss (4-0) – They are STILL the No.11 team in the country despite their awful offensive performance against Memphis. If Bo Wallace is the third-best QB in SEC Country, the SEC has big, big QB problems. We love Hugh Freeze’s ‘D’, though. We’ll see how good they are on Saturday when they host Alabama, where they are a 5-point underdog.

7) LSU (4-1) – LSU fans have a major problem. And Les Miles is their biggest one. Here’s why: Anthony Jennings, their current starting quarterback is NOT good enough. In fact, he’s worse than not good enough. Dog turd would be a less terrible QB than Anthony Jennings. And not only do the fans think that dog turd would be comparably better at QB, his team feels the same. Hence why Jennings gets pulled out against New Mexico State, and Brandon Harris- his replacement – goes 11/14 for 178 yards and 3 TDs. Jennings’ line? 2/5 for 11 yards and 2 INTs. Seriously. But if LSU keeps Harris and their skill players, the Tigers could be dangerous. You know, if they can tackle, too.

8) Missouri (4-1) – Missouri’s offense did nothing until the fourth quarter at South Carolina, but then rebounded for a stunning 21-20 victory. And managed to really get this woman pissed….

9) Arkansas (3-2) – The Razorbacks SHOULD have beaten Texas A&M this week. They’ve got two excellent running backs in Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams, and a bruising offensive line. But the mistakes that Bielema made in the fourth quarter crucified his team….and that’s why they could well be really good AND finish winless in the SEC West. Then again, they could well beat Georgia when the two teams’ meet.

10) South Carolina (3-2)This woman‘s pissed. Steve Spurrier may not have seemed pissed afterwards, but he’s pretty pissed. His ‘Cocks are unranked and unloved by the coaches AND the AP. His QB project Dylan Thompson’s not living up to the hype – and nor is Mike Davis. Weirdly, the Gamecocks were pretty good defensively tonight….but awful offensively. A weird season in Columbia. Good atmosphere at the stadium, though – helped by the thousands of Mizzou fans – and College Gameday – who came to town and got the party kicked off early.

11) Florida (3-1) – Florida’s only loss of the season was to get ripped to pieces by Alabama. They struggled against Bye Week this week, but made it through. Jeff Driskel was pretty medicore though.

12) Kentucky (3-1) – HUGE win for Big Blue Nation, who won their first SEC game. Yay! This team isn’t going to be anything to write home about, but at least the monkey’s off its back.

13) Tennessee (2-2) – The young Vols battled against Georgia, and maybe were unlucky not to come away with the victory. But in the end, they couldn’t stop Todd Gurley. They shouldn’t be too upset. No-one else can.

14) Vanderbilt (1-4) – Dear. God.

 

Texas A&M and Arkansas match-up highlights Week 5 SEC plate: Preview

We’ll be honest. This SEC schedule on paper looked pretty strong when the season started, but right now, it’s actually pretty week. Look, we get that the match-up Texas A&M and a suddenly-reborn Arkansas in JerryWorld is pretty cool. South Carolina’s got College Gameday coming to its doors for the visit of Maty Mauk and Missouri, and if Tennessee trip to Georgia’s as good as it was last season, the game’s going to be a treat. But otherwise? Kentucky’s actually got a GOOD CHANCE to get its first SEC victory, when it hosts Vanderbilt. Could be your sleeper SEC game of the week.

Anyway, here are our previews for Saturday.

For the record, I’m tipping Oklahoma State to beat Texas Tech pretty comfortably at home on Thursday night, and Arizona State to beat UCLA in a thriller in the late game, which SEC people will celebrate (makes their conference look great) and Pac-12 people will celebrate (makes their conference look great). 

Anyway, back to God’s conference….

TEXAS A&M (4-0) VS ARKANSAS (4-1) (JerryWorld)

Here’s some fun facts: The teams started their rivalry in 1903. They’ve played each other 70 times (so this rivalry’s not exactly new (and it’s pretty cool to have it back). Arkansas leads the overall rivalry 41-26-3, but A&M won both SEC games 58-10 and 45-33. And the Aggies are odds-on to win this game. On the SEC Football Blog’s Twitter feed, there’s been some great crap-talking between both sides. Arkansas fans are pretty excited because they went on the road and beat Texas Tech on the road pretty comfortably, while Texas A&M fans are also pretty excited because they are not only 4-0, but they beat the living daylights out their biggest opponent thus far on the road, South Carolina. And they’ve got a quarterback who could well be the next Johnny Manziel in a year or two’s time in Kenny Hill (Did we mention that we saw him play in High School down in Texas?). Arkansas probably has the better running backs in Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams, and their own QB in Brandon Allen hasn’t exactly been awful, hitting 61.4% of his passes for 552 yards and 8 TDs on what is the usual Bret Bielema offense of run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run. Anyway, this is going to be more fun than people think….even though we’re not great fans of the fact they are playing the game at JerryWorld. We’d rather it was a home-and-home, but Jerry Jones’ money speaks more volumes than anything else in this day and age.

PREDICTION: A&M is a 9-point favorite in Vegas. We’ll take the Aggies to win by 14 in a game that’s close and high-scoring almost all the way through. Arkansas will look very improved from previous years though, people.

MISSOURI (3-1) AT SOUTH CAROLINA (3-1)

If you believe what Steve Spurrier said after the Vanderbilt game, the Gamecocks have no hope of winning another game, let alone another SEC game. He HATES his team right now. He’s pissed, he’s angry, and we KNOW that he’d rather be watching or attending the Ryder Cup in Scotland than hosting Missouri in the ‘Battle of The Columbias’. Why’s he so pissed? Because at the moment, the Gamecocks can’t tackle. His team ranks 109th in the nation in points against (even though they’ve had one of the tougher opening schedules – which includes a win against Georgia), and 119th in passing yards allowed. That doesn’t exactly bode well for the visit of Missouri’s spread offense, with QB Maty Mauk, who is coming off a mediocre game against Indiana. But the kid can still pass, and Missouri’s wide receiving corps is still pretty good, despite the off-season departures. Listen, Spurrier’s still got a strong running back coalition of Brandon Wilds and Mike Davis, although some Carolina fans believe Mike Davis could lose a few pounds….and the team could use a team leader. Maybe Dylan Thompson will scare the life out of Missouri’s 40th-ranked defense…which lost against the first ‘good’ team that it played this year in Indiana.

PREDICTION: South Carolina’s a five-point favorite. While we’ll take Carolina in a shoot-out, we’ll also take the over of 62 points, too. We think it could get to 80. 

TENNESSEE (2-1) AT GEORGIA (2-1)

At the moment, Georgia’s got an 0-fer in the SEC after losing to South Carolina in controversial circumstances, and Tennessee’s 0-0. Mind you, Tennessee’s last game was against Oklahoma, where it lost by 24 in a game that they looked completely outclassed. Then again, this Volunteers team might be talented, but it’s exceptionally young. Georgia, by the way, blew out Troy 66-0, which was no surprise. Sony Michel’s apparently the next coming of Herschel/Knowshon/Todd after his tremendous opponents, but CALM DOWN FOLKS, IT WAS TROY. TROY IS TERRIBLE. Anyway, Georgia will giving the ball a lot more to Gurley in this game, because Tennessee might not be that good, but it ain’t Troy. Tennessee lost in a great game last time these two played in Neyland, and this game could actually be pretty good. The biggest factor in this game might be Georgia’s dreadful secondary, which is 45th in the nation in pass yards allowed. UGA safety JJ Green was ejected in the Troy game for targetting, but he’s not going to suspended for the Vols game. How he and the rest of the secondary will compete against Tennessee WR Marquez North, one of the best receivers in the SEC, will be interesting. This could well turn into the battle of the QBs. We’re not great fans of either Georgia’s Hutson Mason or Tennessee’s Justin Worley, although Worley does have better weapons. But Worley has a less experienced offensive line.

PREDICTION: Tennessee’s a 17-point underdog. We think Georgia’s going to win, but win by 14 in a close game. Why? The secondary, stupid! 

VANDERBILT (1-3) AT KENTUCKY (2-1)

Vanderbilt wasn’t awful in its loss to South Carolina, even though the gap in talent was plain to see. Vandy’s Darrius Sims’ will be fun to watch after housing two kick-off returns. Otherwise, the biggest factor in this game will be this: History. At the moment, Kentucky’s got a SEC losing streak of 17, which is pretty horrible (They’ve still got some Vanderbilt history to beat – the ‘Dores currently hold the record for SEC loser at 23. And they’ve also lost 22. South Carolina is third with 18). Anyway, this Saturday Kentucky is something that people don’t expect: A favorite. Maybe it’s because Mark Stoops is doing some good things at Kentucky. They lost at Florida in a three-overtime war (they maybe SHOULD have won that game if the SEC refs knew what a delay-of-game penalty was) last time out. Or maybe it’s because Vandy has been simply terrible for most of this season (Listen, when you celebrate a win over UMass with the joy that Derek Mason did, you know your team’s pretty lousy). UK soph QB Patrick Towles is a really good young QB and has already thrown for 900 yards this year, and Stoops knows how to spread the receiving love out: Five WRs have over 100 yards receiving.

PREDICTION: Kentucky’s a 17-point favorite. We’re taking KENTUCKY! WE’RE TAKING KENTUCKY! WE’RE TAKING KENTUCKY! By 21. 

And the rest of the games? Urgh.

OLE MISS (3-0) will beat Memphis (2-1) by more than the favored 21 points. Why? They are at home, they are red-hot at the moment, and they’ve got too much talent. Sure, Memphis frightened UCLA early on in the season, but as we’ve seen, UCLA really ain’t that good.

—- AUBURN (3-0) will WHIP Louisiana Tech (2-2) by more than the 33-point spread. If only to make the crowd happy.

—- LSU (3-1) will CRUSH New Mexico State (2-2), although by less than they are favored by (43). Why? Because Les Miles is probably going to give Anthony Jennings another chance to prove himself at QB. Even though everyone in their right mind thinks that Brandon Harris should be given the job.

Don’t Mess With….A&M: Notre Dame and Aggies seal dates

Texas A&M and Notre Dame have announced that they will play a home-and-home series in 2024 and 2025, the Irish announced.

The two teams last clashed in 2000 and 2001.

These two contests between Notre Dame and Texas A&M figure to be excellent intersectional attractions,” says Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick in a press release. “We had set a goal of adding representation from the Southeastern Conference to our future schedules, and we’ve accomplished that with the addition of this series, as well as the one with Georgia.

The Irish will also play Georgia in 2017 and 2019, and a closer-t0-home clash with Ohio State in 2022 and 2023.

BOTTOM LINE: This game is a huge validation of what the Aggies have been doing in the SEC over the last two seasons, and the power shift away from its hated rival, Texas. Kevin Sumlin has built a powerhouse team, and although we’ve got no clue how both teams are going to be in the next ten years, we can guarantee one thing: An absolute sell-out. And thank God both of the games aren’t in Jerryworld.

Tennessee boots freshman RB

Tennessee has dismissed redshirt freshman running back Trayvon Paulk after police reported that he had hit his girlfriend at a party, according to reports.

The Chatanooga Free Times press reported: “According to the Knox County Sheriff’s Office, Paulk was accused of assault, though his ex-girlfriend, 18-year-old Chelsea Reese is refusing to prosecute or take out an order of protection. He will not be charged….While at a party on Saturday, Paulk and Reese began arguing when he “became very agitated and struck her in the mouth with his fist….Reese had cuts to her lips but refused medical treatment.”

Tennessee head coach Butch Jones said: “We hold our players to a very high standard and expectation with being a member of our football family.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Nothing makes us angrier than a grown man punching a woman – especially when it relates to football. And while it’s undoubted that Paulk will find a JUCO or another school to play for because the NCAA doesn’t seem to take battery as sincerely as the rest of society does), he won’t be playing in orange in Knoxville again.

Alabama rolls, LSU and Missouri toil – Week 4 SEC Review

This college football season’s been nuts so far. But there’s nuts, and then there’s SEC nuts. There’s a shifting of power in the SEC. Teams that spent time in the shadows are back up, and punching giants in the mouth. It’s fun. It’s really fun. Unless you’re from Baton Rouge. Or Columbia, Missouri.

Anyway, here’s our SEC rankings (more important than the overall college football rankings). Here we reward strength-of-schedule over record, so if your team has moved down a bit, then that’s why.

Oh, and while we’re here we’d like to note that we watched a crapload of football yesterday. It wasn’t all SEC football. But it was all fun.

1. Alabama (4-0)

Suddenly the win against West Virginia – who gave Oklahoma a hell of a fright in Morgantown on Saturday until the Sooners found their feet – is looking more impressive. What ‘Bama did against Florida – putting up 645 yards against a proud defense – was even more impressive. Blake Sims is definitely looking like the Crimson Tide’s starting quarterback. Sorry about that, Jacob Coker. We will say this, though: If Alabama was playing Texas A&M and they overturned the ball 4 times, they would have been punished worse than the Gators managed.

2. Texas A&M (4-0)

Texas A&M went to No. 2 and Bama went to No. 1 because A&M really hasn’t played anybody apart from South Carolina (which looked horrible at Vanderbilt). But you can’t stop that goddamn offense, which put up 58 in a romp against SMU. We can’t wait for the Alabama game. We really can’t.

3. Auburn (3-0)

War Eagle was really lucky not to get defeathered at Kansas State on Thursday night. Still, the Gus-train is still rolling, although we’re not as convinced as before that this is a play-off team. Still gonna be fun to watch, though.

4. South Carolina (3-1)

Really managed to piss off Steve Spurrier by giving up a junk-time TD….and 379 yards. “It’s embarrassing sometimes the way we play”, he said. HBC added that the win was one of the worst of his career. Well, a win’s a win. And while the team couldn’t tackle, QB Dylan Thompson still threw for 279 yards and 4 TDs (including 1 TD he ran in himself). Listen, we don’t think South Carolina’s that good, but it’ll get better.

5. Georgia (2-1)

Sony Michel played Troy for 3 TDs and 155 yards on just 10 carries. Todd Gurley didn’t play after the first drive because he really didn’t need to. Still, the Dawgs managed to lose two safeties during the game – one for targetting and one with an injury. The fun just keeps on coming in Athens.

6. Mississippi State (4-0)

They didn’t just beat LSU at Death Valley. They completely outplayed them for 58 minutes. Still, the madness this LSU football meant that it all came down to a Hail Mary at the end, but that’s because it’s LES FREAKING MILES. This is a really good, really motivated football team. Particularly with Dak Prescott (#DakAttack) as its QB, who was incredible, going for 268 passing yards and 105 passing yards, with 3 total TDs. Oh, and Josh Robinson, their RB, is pretty useful, too.

7. Ole Miss (3-0)

Did nuthin’ this week but watch Mississippi State win on the road at LSU and suddenly git worried about this year’s Egg Bowl. Which should be amazin’, by the way.

8. LSU (3-1)

LSU fans, when your quarterback’s as shitty as Anthony Jennings, and your young defense can’t tackle worth a crap, is it really that much of a surprise that you lost to Mississippi State? Oh, and we’d like to add that Les Miles needs to start Brandon Harris. The freshman’s goood.

9. Missouri (3-1)

This is how bad Missouri was in its loss to Indiana: If it HADN’T been for Maty Mauk, who seemed to spend most of his day flying around like Michael Jordan to try and catch his center‘s snaps, Missouri could have lost by a lot more to an Indiana offense which might be from the Big Ten, but it’s fast, yo.

10. Arkansas (3-1)

I’m not about to give Bret Bielema Coach Of The Week because his team put up 50 on a Jordan Lynch-less North Illinois, but it was another 200 rushing yard performance from the Razorbacks. They didn’t need Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams to light up the Huskies, because QB Brandon Allen did a mighty fine job of doing it himself, throwing for 199 yards and 2 TDs (and running in 1 more). Suddenly, the Texas A&M game on September 27th looks like a game worth watching.

11. Florida (2-1)

Florida really did make a statement in their schellacking at Alabama. The statement? We’re not going to be very good this year.

12. Tennessee (2-1)

The Vols and its talented wide receivers had the week off before Georgia next week. If their offensive line can keep Worley from getting killed, they might be favorites to win a few games this year.

13. Kentucky (2-1)

MARK STOOPS IS STILL PISSED AT EVERYBODY. AND TO STOP BEING PISSED, HE’S GOING TO CONCENTRATE ON THE VANDERBILT GAME.

14. Vanderbilt (1-3) 

The special teams was awesome for Vanderbilt last night. The rest of it? Notsomuch. This could be the team that Kentucky beats for its first SEC victory since God was a boy.

A Take on Auburn’s Thursday Night Football Special

There’s something about Kansas State in the summertime. Maybe it’s the corn-fed dance team, with the legs that go on for miles. Maybe it’s the sun going down on the fields, with just water towers on view for miles and miles. Maybe it’s Manhattan – the ‘Little Apple’, a place so quaint that you could place the place in the South and it would probably fit in nicely. Maybe it’s the fanbase, that were loud enough to create a hell of an atmosphere last night, but not lunatic-fringe like some fanbases that we see in places like the Big Ten. Maybe it was the wind blowing Samantha Ponder’s hair, and us having to remind ourselves that no, she’s not free and single, even though her husband isn’t in starting employment at the moment – and probably won’t be until he leaves the Mid-West. Maybe it’s Bill Snyder and the ‘Family’, and his team that he builds from the nation’s junior colleges rather than from freshmen.

There’s something about a SEC school playing down at Kansas State. Especially one that’s fifth-ranked in the nation. It gives me an excuse to watch Thursday night football. I’m researching, dammit. It’s important. Especially one that’s got a high-octane offense, that loves having a mobile quarterback (like Kansas State), and is rediscovering its mojo after Gene Chizik’s last year when the only really drive to be found was in a freshman frat boy’s underwear after a few hour’s tailgating.

So Thursday night, Auburn came to town to the Little Apple. The place was rocking. We discovered early on that the SEC doesn’t have exclusivity on hot students, hot cheerleaders or a red-hot atmosphere since the last big-time team came down to play The Purple. Thanks, ESPN. We also discovered early on that if Auburn was going to win out, it was going to do that against a defense that was going to give the Tigers nothing. Auburn’s defense would have to be stout.

And stout it was. Jake ‘The Snake’ Waters, who had been so mobile during his Kansas State, was wrapped up. By the end of the game, he was Jake The Flake, with the only snake to come out of him was a few half-assed runs such was the pressure. But despite Auburn great lines of defense, let’s make no mistake about it, Kansas State are the ones who will be furious that they didn’t come home with the upset. Their kicker missed THREE field goals. [Georgia kicker] Marshall Morgan, you are forgiven. Jack Cantele, you should be happy you don’t play in the SEC. You probably wouldn’t have a career after your ineptness on Thursday night. Then there was Waters, who threw an interception in the end-zone, and fumbled the ball away, too.

Auburn’s offense? You know, the Ferrari? It wasn’t Ferrari so much as John Deere Tractor. It didn’t look that pretty, but came through in the end. Nick Marshall looked better in the second half than he did the first, and his throw at the end of the game that sewed up the 20-14 victory was Heisman-esque. But otherwise, Auburn’s offense moved in fits and starts.

But at the end, it was Auburn who farmed the victory, and Kansas State didn’t. Oh, and God Bless You, Thursday Night Football.

Can Auburn and Alabama avoid upsets? Week 4 SEC Preview

It’s a big Thursday night for The South. In the NFL, Tampa Bay at Atlanta play each other in The ATL, while Missouri’s biggest city, St Louis, continues to battle it out for a spot in the MLB Play-Offs (if St Louis wins the World Series, it’s a victory for the SEC, by the way). Oh, and the Scots are voting on whether they want to become part of Britain (I love their whiskey, as it goes), which is quite big in political news.

But bigger than big is Auburn’s trip to Kansas State, which is one of the biggest games of the week and the season so far. Manhattan is not going to be easy. This is going to fun.

THURSDAY NIGHT

Auburn (2-0) at Kansas State (2-0)

God, I’m excited about this game. Both teams come in off a rest-week, with Auburn probably looking better than KSU to start the season. Nick Marshall’s certainly excited more people than Jake Waters, Kansas State’s dual-threat QB, but we would urge you to ignore Waters at your peril. He’s the sort of player who can demolish defensive hopes and dreams. Trust us on this. Particularly on a night in Manhattan night which loves a good ol’ upset. This game also features two of the more likeable coaches in college football – Auburn’s Gus Malzahn and KSU’s Bill Snyder. This could be AWESOME. I won’t be watching CNN to see if Scotland decides to be apart, because I’ll be watching this game. So should you be.

PREDICTION: Auburn’s an 8-1/2 point favorite, and we think they win by 10 in a game that’s really close until the final half of the fourth quarter.

Florida (2-0) at Alabama (3-0) 

Florida goes into this game a 17-1/2 point underdog, and we can see why. After just managing to avoid a stunning home defeat to Kentucky at home by winning in 3 overtimes (and they could/should have lost in the first overtime had it not been for a delay of game flag that never was), we think Gators fans are aware that even the refs may not be able to save them against a ‘struggling’ Alabama side which is 3-0, put up over 500 yards last week, and still has issues about its quarterback. In short, this Alabama team is good, deep, and will probably win out comfortably. Having said that, we’re looking forward to the battle between Gators CB Vernon Hargreaves and Tide WR Amari Cooper, who’s having a great year. Hargreaves could give Tide fans fits. Then again, Gators fans could already be comatose with rage watching Will Muschamp’s offense.

PREDICTION: Alabama wins, by two touchdowns

Mississippi State (3-0) at LSU (3-0)

Both sides are unbeaten, thanks to LSU’s mighty comeback against Wisconsin and Mississippi State’s joke of an off-season schedule. Mississippi State’s a pretty solid team, and it’s not going into Tiger Stadium with any fear, especially as LSU’s offense consists of passing to the ball to WR Travin Dural and giving the ball to either Kenny Hilliard or young superstar Leonard Fournette, and Anthony Jennings – their quarterback- really isn’t any good (as we’ve said it before).  And Les Miles was hyped about his team’s defense pitching a shut-out last week, but it wasn’t exactly against the 2001 Miami Hurricanes. We look forward to Dak Prescott giving Miles and Chavis fits. LSU’s a 7 point favorite for this one.

PREDICTION: This one’s going to be tight. LSU by 3 in a game that’s worth watching.

South Carolina (2-1) at Vanderbilt (1-2)

Vanderbilt has been downright lousy starting off this season, losing to Temple, getting hammered by Ole Miss, and last week struggling to beat UMass. Derek Mason’s going to get a short leash in Nashville, and by the looks of it, so he should. Anyway, enough of Vandy. Right now, the ‘Dores aren’t remotely worth it. As for South Carolina, the pitiful, unmotivated pile of excrement that stank up the first game of the season against Texas A&M stood up for itself against Georgia, eking out a shock victory over the Dawgs. Of course, Georgia fans are furious with ‘ghost’ holding calls (that stopped Todd Gurley’s 54-yard TD) and a ‘1st down that wasn’t, but Gamecocks fans will be happy that Dylan Thompson is suddenly looking better and better….and so’s the running game.

PREDICTION: South Carolina’s a 19-1/2 point favorite. Take the ‘over’. Carolina by 28. Yes, Vanderbilt’s this bad, folks.

Indiana (1-1) at Missouri (3-0)

OK, so start the ‘Maty Mauk for Heisman’ campaign NOW, folks. He’s that good. He’s happy in the pocket, he’s got a bullet arm (he’s thrown for 647 yards, 12 TDs and just 3 INTs), and he’s a real leader. And he hasn’t gotten himself in trouble….yet (in the SEC, anything can and will happen!!). We love him. Facing an Indiana team that’s just coming off giving up 45 to mighty Bowling Green, we think he’ll have a field day. On the other side of the ball, Missouri’s defense is still learning to cope without the likes of Michael Sam, and it’s going to be tested against Kevin Wilson’s high-octane offense.

PREDICTION: Missouri is a 14-point favorite, which seems a little low. We’re taking Missouri by 17 in a game where it’ll be a shoot-out at the start, and then the Tigers will take control.

Texas A&M (3-0) at SMU (0-2)

The 0-2 SMU Mustangs parted company with June Jones Lane Kiffin-style DURING the season. After 45 and 43 points in their last two games, y’all can see why. A&M beat Rice 38-10 on Saturday, but it really wasn’t a great performance. It’s funny, because Aggies fans are now expecting 900 points from Kevin Sumlin’s offense, or else there’s hell to pay! This should be one of those days for Kenny Hill and friends.

PREDICTION: Texas A&M by 28? Seriously? They are being kind. Take the ‘over’. Texas A&M by 41. THAT is how bad SMU is.

Troy (0-3) at Georgia (1-1)

The 0-3 Troy Trojans walk into Sanford Stadium to play a Georgia side who have gone from National Champions-elect (the media’s words, not mine) to SEC-maybes after they lost at South Carolina in controversial circumstances on Saturday. But the biggest problems at Georgia are defensively. Georgia really doesn’t have one. But is that going to matter against a Troy team that lost to Abilene Christian on Saturday? We think not. Georgia’s a 35-1/2 point favourite.

PREDICTION: Georgia runs up the score, wins by 50, fans still upset about losing to Carolina. Take the over. 

Texas A&M still the pick- Week 3 SEC Power Rankings

‘Twas a hell of a night in the SEC. South Carolina avoided getting hit by lightning to score a 3-point win over Georgia, Florida squeaked by Kentucky in THREE overtimes, and Arkansas ripped out a monster away victory at Texas Tech (giggles). Tennessee played valiantly at Oklahoma but were predictably outclassed, but there are green shoots. Oh, and Vanderbilt. Dear. God.

Anyway, here are our Week 3 Power Rankings for the SEC:

1. Texas A&M: We’re not sure how anyone can deal with Kevin Sumlin’s offense, for whom 38 points looked like a bad day on Saturday. And the defense showed some improvement by not particularly struggling with a Rice team who took them to the hilt in 2013. Kenny Hill’s 300 yard, 4 TD performance wasn’t too shabby, either. Did I mention I saw him play in high school?

2. Alabama: Alabama’s 40-point victory was under Vegas’ predictions (no great surprise there), and despite a disappointing first quarter (the Tide was only 7-3 up), Blake Sims and the offense took over and it was over by half-time. The Derrick Henry/ Kenyan Drake/ Tyran Jones/TJ Yeldon quartet is suddenly looking nasty (all four RBs went for over 50 yards as Nick Saban mixed up the touches). Blake Sims (3 Total TDs, 168 yards, 12/17) continues to impress at QB. This team’s not going away, folks.

3. Auburn: Hard to say bearing in mind that the War Eagle hasn’t really played anyone to start the year, but the offense is goooood, folks. Even if the D could do with some work. So why are they so high? Because you try stopping ’em. And then get back to me.

4. South Carolina:  Battled with this spot being Georgia’s, but after the Gamecocks overcame the Dawgs at home, 4th spot’s about right for Spurrier. His defense really isn’t great, and he was lucky to get away with the victory, but Dylan Thompson looked better at QB, and the running back duo of Mike Davis and Brandon Wilds looks more solid by the game.

5. Georgia: “SERIOUSLY, MIKE BOBO OR MARK RICHT, HOW COULD YOU NOT GIVE THE BALL TO TODD GURLEY WITH FIRST AND GOAL FROM THE 4 WITH THE GAME ON THE LINE?” Dawgs fans all over were saying it. Personally, I’d also ask Jeremy Pruitt how his D really can’t stop anyone, either. Let’s not forget Georgia gave up 447 total yards. Todd Gurley’s ****ing good, though (191 yards, 2 TDs)

6. Ole Miss: Mighty Bo Wallace threw for 316 yards and 4 TDs (and 1 INT) as the Rebels steamrolled the mighty Louisiana-Lafayette. They were helped by ULL QB Terrance Broadway throwing a musical 3 INTs. We can bet he must have been one of Les Miserables after that.

7. Missouri: We love you, Maty Football.

8. LSU: LSU fans will struggle with being this low, but it’s not really that important. What IS important is that the Tigers’ offense was dreadful for large parts of the team’s 31-0 HOME victory over mighty ULM. Anthony Jennings isn’t the answer at QB, but does it really matter when your running back stable features so much talent (Kenny Hilliard, Leonard Fournette, Terrence Magee). And as much as Les Miles tried to talk about how great his defense was (they were, pitching a shut-out and only giving up 93 total yards), the offense has got to be a concern. Hence why the Tigers are middling in our poll.

9. Mississippi State: Dan Mullen and Dak Prescott have got State firing on all cylinders right now. This team could well be a dark horse in the West. 

10. Arkansas: Huge win by Arkansas on the road at Texas Tech. 438 rushing yards. 438. Alex Collins (212 of them) and Jonathan Williams (145) are pretty talented. But does Arky have the ‘D’ to get it its first SEC win of the year?

11. Florida: By all accounts Florida was lucky to get away with a victory against Kentucky – particularly with Mark Stoops (still) screaming FOR A DELAY OF GAME FLAG. But let’s get this straight. The Gators really aren’t going to be very good this year. Sorry.

12. Kentucky: MARK STOOPS HATES EVERYONE AT THE MOMENT.

13. Tennessee: Looked young and overmatched against Oklahoma, but you can see the young talent at receiver. You really can. This is going to be a long project, and UT fans are going to have to find patience. Because right now, they won’t be very good.

14. Vanderbilt: We saw the UMass game. And laughed. A lot. Kentucky fans might see their team get their first SEC victory this year. And Derek Mason might well get a pink slip.

 

 

Is Georgia – South Carolina going to be close? SEC Week 3 Predictions

Sorry we’re late! We’ve been away and without a computer! Yes, we know that you beat Clemson, Georgia fans! Yes, we know that you beat South Carolina, Texas A&M! We know that Steve Spurrier’s found some humility, Florida scored more points than they did in one season and the Derek Mason era at Vanderbilt hasn’t actually been auspicious.

And as for this week…

GEORGIA AT SOUTH CAROLINA

This week, Georgia goes down to South Carolina in a game that’s going to be a war. Georgia fans expecting to win by a mile? You must be joking. South Carolina’s fanbase is going to be whipped up to play the Dawgs, and a little confidence is back after beating Eastern Carolina last week. If Georgia can run the ball with Mssrs. Gurley, Marshall and Chubb — and South Carolina can’t stop ’em- then the ‘Cocks are in trouble.

PREDICTION: Georgia by 3 in a classic. 

TENNESSEE AT OKLAHOMA

OU’s really, really good this year. Trevor Knight a great QB, and the Sooners look strong in defense. If Tennessee can get the time to throw the ball and Marquez North gets a few receptions, the Vols might have hope. Otherwise? Nada.

PREDICTION: Close? Nope. Oklahoma by 21

RICE AT TEXAS A&M

Last year A&M really struggled with Rice’s triple option offense. They really did. But can Rice stop the freight train commonly known as A&M’s unreal offense? Er….

PREDICTION: No. Texas A&M by 28

ARKANSAS AT TEXAS TECH

Big question: Will Arkansas be able to deal with Tech’s offense? And will Tech be able to deal with Alex Collins, the ferocious running back for Arkansas? This could well be the funnest game of the week.

PREDICTION: Close, but no cigar. Arkansas wins by 7 in a classic. 

UCF AT MISSOURI

Some people predicted that Missouri would struggle at Toledo, but they didn’t, winning out 49-28. Maty Mauk already looks in Heisman form….the kid’s got a cannon, folks. UCF should have beaten Penn State in Ireland but they didn’t, losing by 2.

PREDICTION: This one’s going to be closer than expected..for a while. Mizzou by 14.

KENTUCKY AT FLORIDA

The battle of the unbeatens! Mark Stoops and Will Muschamp for Joint Coach Of The Year! But seriously, both teams have played a total of NOBODY to start off the season, so this will be a measuring stick of a) Kentucky’s improvement and b) If Florida really has improved. The Swamp ought to be noisy for this game (it’s at night, by the way).

PREDICTION: Gator chomp. Florida by 21

SOUTHERN MISS AT ALABAMA

Hahahahahahahaha.

PREDICTION: Alabama by 50, unless it gets called for lightning.

LOUISIANA-MONROE AT LSU

What a game this will be. You know, unless it starts. The most interesting thing from this game will be watching LSU fans in Tiger Stadium pray for no injuries to the talent on the field.

PREDICTION: LSU by 41.

UMASS AT VANDERBILT

It’s been an awful first couple of weeks for Vanderbilt, folks. But Derek Mason should get the first win of his season this year.

PREDICTION: Vandy by 21

MSU AT SOUTH ALABAMA

Er….

PREDICTION: Go Cowbell. Mississippi State by 35.