Right, it was a pretty nuts absolutely ****ing crazy weekend in college football. CRAZY. Stanford goes down to Utah.  4 overtimes in Happy Valley see Michigan lose to Penn State. Several ranked teams struggle….including Clemson and Baylor.

In the SEC, injury-hit Georgia (almost predictably….apart from Vegas) lost to Missouri, who had a BIG INJURY of their own. Florida was awful in its loss at LSU, who found a defense for the first time this season. Oh, and Johnny Football was Johnny Football.

Anyway, here’s our SEC Power Rankings, which are proving increasingly difficult.

1) Alabama: This one’s pretty easy. Alabama maybe caused themselves one of the biggest upsets of the season, by coming out of the first quarter with Kentucky scoreless. They committed two red zone turnovers, and were really poor. And then the Porsche hit a gear, and Bama rolled.  This is the best team in college football….and they were under the spread, by the way.

2) LSU: Found some defense to go with the sprightly offense….finally. LSU wins 17-6, and John Chavis made a bright(ish) Florida offense look third-rate. What we hated about the afternoon in Death Valley were the empty seats. There were too many empty seats. CBS fans: “Listen LSU fans, we know you don’t like afternoon games….. It’s an awful representation of the school, and the conference…..” Actually, the LSU messageboards have another story, involved humidity, heat, and LSU fans trying to get out of the sun. LSU fans win because of their “It’s great to beat a Florida Gator!” chant, complete with ‘Gator Chomp’. Awesome.

3) South Carolina: Yes, we know they lost to Georgia. But the Gamecocks have found a gear in Connor Shaw and Mike Davis (what is it about good athletes with the first letter of ‘M’ in their name?), and they are suddenly looking a little impressive. Well, they did against Arkansas, anyway. Oh, and it was good to see Jadeveon Clowney get off the bus, holding hands with Steve Spurrier. We love it when you get along, people.

4) Missouri: If Maty Mauk’s as good as he’s predicted to be in Columbia, then the injury to James Franklin will seem a hell of a lot less of a pain to the good people of Columbia. L’Damian Washington and Dorial Green-Beckham can get anything, yo. The SEC East comes through (deep breath) Columbia, Missouri. And at 6-0, the Tigers are bowl eligible!!

5) Texas A&M: Johnny Manziel and the Aggies offense >>>>>> No Johnny Manziel and the Aggies defense. We don’t know what’s going to happen in Death Valley later on in the year, but we predict a shoot-out.

6) Georgia:  The not-that-huge-upset in Athens on Saturday happened not because of Georgia’s offense, which clicked at points on Saturday (Georgia’s now FOUR DEEP at running back, yo!), but because of their GODDAWFUL DEFENSE. Their secondary looked shot, their defensive line looked laughable, and it shouldn’t be a massive surprise bearing in mind the talent left Georgia last year. Damian Swann’s just called Athens PD to come down to Sanford and try and get him off the island he’s still stuck on. Should we start saying goodbye to Todd Grantham, Georgia’s defensive co-ordinator? We should, but Mark Richt’s too much of a good guy.

7) Florida: Nasty defense….given. The offense is horrific. We knew that when Florida went into Death Valley and scored six points against a defense that really isn’t that great. Will Muschamp needs another offensive co-ordinator, fast.

8) Auburn: Sure, they beat nobody this weekend….but we love Gus Malzahn’s offense. He’s one of the best offensive co-ordinators in the land. Frightening. Future opponents should worry.

9) Ole Miss: Great game against Texas A&M. They lost to a Johnny Manziel drive by a field goal. They battled for 60 minutes. Credit where credit’s due. The sad thing is the loss of Robert Nkemdiche, who’s out for at least three games with a pulled hamstring.

10) Vanderbilt: Maybe getting schellacked by Missouri’s looking less awful….We’ll see against Georgia. Upset alert in Nashville?

11) Tennessee: Despite having a week off, I’m suddenly believing the Vols might not be as bad as we think. OK, then better than Mississippi State and Arkansas. And Kentucky.

12) Mississippi State: Sure, they struggled with Bowling Green. But we’re not so sure that Arkansas would have beaten Bowling Green. Can’t wait to see the Arkansas game.

13) Arkansas: Got schellacked by South Carolina. Arkansas’ defense is awful. And despite us liking Alex Collins as its RB, their offense with Brandon Allen as its QB might be the worst in the SEC. Can’t wait to see the Mississippi State game.

14) Kentucky: ‘Won’ the first quarter against Alabama 0-0….and then got firebombed. This team against ‘Bama looked undersized. Heck, they still scored a TD, though!


1) OREGON fans singing ‘Ten More Years’ at the Washington fans after a decade of success. Unclassy, but funny. And the fact that the injury-hit team nearly dropped 50 on their northwestern rivals.

2) UTAH‘s performance against No.5 Stanford. Stunning. This is one of the teams that is much better than you think, folks.

3) FOUR OVERTIMES AT PENN STATE…sending Johnny Football to ESPN News. And it was completely awesome. Christian Hackenberg’s last-minute comeback against Michigan was something for the ages. Somewhere, there was a smile in heaven. And the Michigan dude getting pepper-sprayed teaches us all not to troll the home team. Too much.

4) CLEMSON nearly CLEMSONING against Boston College. Regardless of what an upcoming BC team this is (and all credit to them), Clemson losing to an unranked BC team would have been ‘Clemsoning’. They were outplayed until the fourth quarter. Promise.

5) BAYLOR nearly BAYLORING against Kansas State. Kudos to Bill Snyder and the Wildcats for putting up a fight against THAT Art Briles offense.

6) And congratulations, TEXAS. You can finally say this: “Dear Oklahoma, thanks for taking our ugly, fat girls since 1890….and playing so badly that even Mack Brown could beat you”. Credit where credit’s due….Texas looked pretty great on Saturday in the Red River Rivalry.


Be Sociable, Share!

Tagged with:

Filed under: AlabamaArkansasArticleAuburnFloridaGeorgiaKentuckyLSUMississippi StatemissouriOle MissSouth CarolinaTennesseeTexas A&MVanderbilt

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!