Amen, Sister!! SEC Rankings 1-14 After Week 5

This blog site’s SEC ranking ain’t gonna change the world. But they are a lot of fun to do – and we’ll supply reasons, too!

Anyway, here’s our 1-14. There are some changes, but Lord knows how many.

The soundtrack is Kid Rock’s “Only God Knows Why”.

1) Alabama – Only God Knows Why this team is so, so good. Is it Saban? Is it luck? Is it the coaching staff in its entireity? Is it team spirit?

2) South Carolina – Because Only God Knows Why this team was so awful in the first half on Saturday against Kentucky, and so great in the second.

3) Georgia – Only God Knows if the Dawgs are going to sort out their secondary in time for Carolina. At times on Saturday, they were, ahem, smoked (See: Rambo, Baccari)

4) Florida – Only God Knows why Jeff Driskel has gone from ‘Ghoul’ to ‘God’ in a few weeks in Gainseville.

5) LSU – Only God Knows if the Tigers were asleep for their game against Towson, or this team really is actually pretty bad.

6) Texas A&M – Only God Knows why Texas A&M don’t recruit female cheerleaders. But they are good at recruiting good QBs (See Manziel, Johnny).

7) Missouri – Only God Knows Why Dorial Green-Beckham’s only getting one touch a game, taking it to the house, and not getting passed to again.

8) Mississippi State- Only God Knows Why my ears are ringing with the sound of cowbell – and if MSU can actually compete in the West this year. If they can, this team might be a dark horse for the No.2 spot.

9)  Tennessee – Only God Knows If Derek Dooley’s keeping his job at the end of the year. Although his team has some fight, boys.

10) Ole Miss – Only God Knows if Ole Miss’ team spirit will translate into a SEC victory this year. Hugh Freeze has regular words with the Man Upstairs, so it should do.

11) Vanderbilt – Only God Knows if James Franklin is a humbler man after his chutzpah at SEC Media Day. We like confidence, sir, but back it up, please (and Vandy hasn’t done it).

12) Auburn – Only God Knows if the Arkansas game is going to be fun to watch on Saturday. Probably not.

13) Kentucky – Only God Knows what Joker Phillips was doing at the end of the second half with regards to clock management. Or what he said to the team at half-time. Or where he’s going to end up coaching in 2013.

14) Arkansas – Only God Knows. Only God Knows.